I began the year with $25,000 of debt. I’m currently sitting at just about $13,700 of debt, and I’ve got three months left in this year.

I wanted to let you know, as someone I consider a mentor, that my Big Why for wanting to be debt free is because I want to heal the wounds and scars of past financial indiscretions on myself and change the behaviour that got me into debt in the first place.

I want to heal financially. This is the unconscious, semi-conscious or definitely conscious process of forgiving oneself of transgressions against oneself using finances. In order to right the wrong, I must heal the hurt. Through forgiveness, through reality, through someone being harsh and blunt with me, I need to heal what I broke. Some use jars. Some use budgets. I have recognized something that needs to be healed with my finances and I want to set about healing it. I want to take the time and give the energy to heal.

When I’m ill, I take time away from work or school to give my body the rest it needs to concentrate on making me better. I feel awful. I vomit, or worse. I can feel that something is wrong. I have to shift out of auto pilot to get better and become aware of what I feel like and when I feel better.

If I get a cut I wash the wound, and apply ointment to help promote healing, cover it with a band-aid or larger bandage and let it heal for a few days. But I have a habit of picking the scab to check for healing, breaking the wound open and prolonging the process. The reason I do this is because I am impatient at allowing the time to heal. Secondarily, I pick because I am afraid to be healed. Lots of times it’s a combination of these two things that cause the behaviour of picking scabs. Picking a scab reopens a wound, prolongs the healing process and almost guarantees I’ll carry a scar from the event that caused the cut in the first place. A scar becomes a battle wound of life, giving me pause to explain my “hard fight” with something, or re-tell a story about how I came by the wound that caused it in the first place. It gives me a chance to relive something I’m not ready to let go of yet.

I came to a place during a visit to my team of healing professionals (I have a chiropractor, physiotherapist, kinesiologist, occupational therapist, acupuncturist, massage therapist, general physician, life coach and I’m adding a psychologist to the mix), that I have been harming myself financially, the way I am harmed by grief and by car accident. The difference is, I’ve done one myself, the others are the results of actions I’ve been involved in. Debt feels like self-depreciating speak to me.

It feels like I don’t value myself enough to properly manage my money. It feels like retail-therapy gone wrong. It feels like I continued to go back to that boyfriend that told me I was ugly and useless and made me feel so horrible about myself. It feels like I’m back in high school trying to figure out who I am, and in the meantime trying to be what everyone wanted me to be instead of what I wanted to be.

While I want to be financially free, debt free, I want to be able to heal myself too. I want to heal the parts of me that feel broken enough to let myself off the hook with my goals and tell myself its ok to not reach them.

So, I want to tell you, my mentor, that I’m striving for debt free so I can heal a part of me that has been wounded for a while. My original goal was to be debt free this year. I won’t quite make it – life handed me a marriage, a surgery, an 80th birthday, the return of cancer and sudden loss of my grandfather and father figure, my engagement, and a car accident in the last 8 months. September, I began picking up all the pieces of the broken parts of me, gained a huge team of doctors and professionals to help me heal my body and mind, and start his You vs Debt program to help me heal my finances.

Thank you for being the person you are, and providing so many of us with the tools we need to heal our finances. Your ability to mentor even when you don’t realize you are has been comforting, purposeful, and helping provide some healing for me.

I just wanted you to know why I was striving for financial freedom from debt. I just wanted you to know that while I may not reach my original goal this year, I’m making a darn good effort to get this thing down to 4 digits, so I can polish it off for my birthday in April 2012. I wrote a success post a while ago that was more about a work in progress. I am so excited to be able to write one that says I’ve healed my financial wounds with the help and guidance of Gail, my family, peers and fiance and know that I’ve done the hard work to maintain the life change after I’ve healed my financial wounds.

This week:

31.  Do you get so involved in what you’re doing that you lose track of time?  Do you wish you did?

Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.

I also wanted to thank you for the motivation to do more and make more. I make a modest $48 000 a year but my passion is Photography. In an effort to “make more money” I’ve started my own business on the side. I have not included my earnings in my debt repayment plan so any money I make will be considered extra. In the last 10 weeks alone I’ve made close to $3000. While some of that money went towards some camera equipment, professional fees and printing costs, most of that allowed me to pay for the damage deposit on a new rental house, move, pay for all the new hook-up fees etc in cash and not on credit. I managed to move without going any further into debt and the new place will allow me to save even more! Not only that, I’ve found I love photography far more then my desk job. Armed with the dream of being a full-time photographer some day and your guidance, I’m starting to plan for being debt free and having a safety net big enough to quit my day job and do what I love. Being debt free this time next year leaves me able to follow my dream before I’m 30! (3 years). I feel like I’ve won the lottery and I have you to thank for helping me get my butt in gear!

March 13, 2009, when I got my credit card statement and my limit was $26,000, but I had charged $27,000, I freaked out. I called and cancelled the card, and got serious about paying it off. I worked and dedicated about 90% of my cash to the bill, sold off a few bass guitars [damn] and paid off a huge chunk, endured 7 pay cuts but still persevered. Eventually lost my job and had to do unemployment. I hated it but in this economy what are you gonna do? I have pulled myself off of unemployment.

The split second I paid this thing off, it was like the weight of the world was off my shoulders. I never realized how much it really was weighing me down. Now I know that I am in a much different situation with my life in terms of I have no car payment, no rent etc. but still…that is a crap load of debt. It really was like a cancer, I finally realized.

Debt sucks! I am the poster child for IDIOTS WITH CREDIT CARDS. It was like an addiction with me. I just couldn’t, or wouldn’t stop until I hit rock bottom. Anyone reading this who may be battling an addiction, I am in no way making light of your situation. I have an addictive personality and this was my biggest downfall. I never made a late payment, defaulted or anything like that. It was just that every time my limit would go up….well you know.

Now I realize that some of my friends will come back and say, “Big banks trapping people, wall street greed etc”. BULLCRAP! I created the debt 100% and I owned it. It was my fault. I did not want to screw the rest of my life up by filing for bankruptcy, so I owned the debt. In closing I want to urge you folks to get out of debt ASAP. I now have 1 credit card with a decent but modest and manageable limit. I will never, ever get in that situation again, nor will I ever go into debt for anything again. I will only use it for gas or in case of emergency.

Gail, your show TIL DEBT DO US PART really inspired me. It really is a fantastic show and provides invaluable service to people like me to take a look at themselves and just ask, “Why the hell am I doing this to myself?” Living on a strict cash only basis for the last 2.5 years really was not difficult after the 1st few months.

This week:

30.  How often do you find yourself actively looking forward to the day ahead?  What do you wish you were doing?

Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.

This week:

29.  How often do you get to do things you really like to do? What’s stopping you???

Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.

I managed to pay off almost all of $19,800 debt (my share), bought a house on my own and paid off my car in the three years following my divorce. I am raising 2 kids, with almost no financial help from my ex ($600.00 per month which is the equivalent of $10.00 per day per child???!!), and work full time, plus random part time contracts.

My boys (13+11) both have their own jar system and my 13 year old just spent the summer mowing lawns to bulk up his saving account. I am a proud mama!

Anyone who says they can’t do it, just isn’t doing the work (sorry!). I have worked SO hard. I’m exhausted, but I’m almost there. No time for fun really, no money for sports or vacations for the boys, but they understand because we talk about money all the time, and that’s the thing…. Work now, play later is a great lesson for them, so I don’t feel bad And I always take time for my boys and for myself, even if it’s a 1/2 hr a day.

I share your philosophy with everyone around me and have also helped people start to move in the right direction, including my new beau! I now have an emergency fund ($1500), RRSPs ($3000) and a savings account with some money ($310) in it (not much but I’ll get there!)!!!! My debt is at $1604.00 (last of my divorce debt). By Christmas it will be at zero!! Although I had a great financial teacher (my dad) your show and website have been a constant encouragement for me, now all my friends, family and patients from the clinic are watching too. Thank you for giving of yourself and doing what you are passionate about. It’s contagious!

We will then have no credit card debt! I want you to know your show has been a big help to me and has encouraged me to stay the course. Because of our previous lifestyle our daughter has had to learn about needs vs wants.  Thanks again.

This week:

28.  How often to do other people’s agendas run your life??

Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.

This week:

27.  What limiting beliefs or stories do you hold on to that prevent you from moving forward?

Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.

My first reaction was that becoming debt free, at least for “not rich” people like was totally unrealistic. That was the biggest hurdle I had to overcome, believing that getting out of debt was NOT POSSIBLE for the everyday person. One of the best things you did on your shows were have on couples who made over $100,000 and still were in debt … it taught me that anyone can have debt if they don’t know how to manage their money.

The way I got over this hurdle was different than what you recommend, but may be worth considering. Your suggestion of paying off the loan with the highest interest rate 1st makes the most sense mathmatically. BUT, if I made good mathmatical sense I never would have gotten into so much debt in the 1st place. So what I needed to do was consider what made sense psychologically as well, (to keep me motivated to stay the course over time.)

So for us, my husband’s truck had the highest interest rate, but it also had the highest loan amount. I started with paying as much towards that loan as possible, but the amount never seemed to go down that much, and it felt like it was going to take forever to pay off, and I got discouraged and was really tempted to quit. It was just so painful! So my husband and I decided to try another approach. We started putting the most money towards our SMALLEST debt, even though it also had the smallest interest rate, and WOW, what a difference that made!!! Because the debt was small, we could very quickly see the light at the end of the tunnel. We ENJOYED receiving that bill so we could CELEBRATE how little there was left to pay off. It made debt repayment a very positive, motivating experience. It was very easy to not spend money on other things, because we were always aware of our current goal, (the amount left on the loan we were working on paying off) and we were usually more interested/excited in reaching that goal then in spending money on other things. I never thought I’d use the word “excited” to describe paying off debt, but it truly was. As soon as we paid one loan off, we took the money we were putting towards that loan and adding it to the money we were already sending to the next smallest loan amount. By the time we got to that original huge loan, it was no longer as daunting because we were now able to send huge payments, and could finally see the end of the tunnel not just with that loan, but with ALL of our debt, (which gave us the additional motivation we needed for the extra time it took to get the debt paid off.)

The irony to this story is that about 2 months after become debt free, I became laid off. The funny thing about this was that my first thought, financially, was not panic, (which it would have been not long ago) but annoyance, (I was enjoying how much I was saving.) Even being unemployed, we anticipate being able to continue to save a modest amount each month. This is a very different scenerio than if we still had loan payments to make, which we would have if it weren’t for your show. This is a huge lesson in itself.

So, long story – but happy ending. And I really and truly have you to thank. Thank you for teaching me the skills and helping me to believe I really can live my life debt free! I really hope to be seeing some new “Til Debt Do Us Part” episodes soon, as my husband doesn’t like to read, but will watch your show with me.