Thinking Things Through
Posted by John | Filed under Thinking Things Through
Under these posts we’ll have an opportunity to share our thoughts about our journeys and our growth. These questions will make you think. You don’t have to answer right away. Noodle for a while and then come back and jot down your ideas. Or start your own notebook where you track your journey privately. I’m hoping this will help to bring clarity to those who are struggling with the question, “What do I really, really want?”
This week:
4. How do you define success?
Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.
August 24, 2010 at 8:54 am
Success… hmmm…
For me it’s seeing my children pleased with their own success.
It’s also seeing my children happy in whatever activity we are doing as a family.
Nothing compares with either of those two things. To me, that’s the natural order of things… it’s not supposed to be about us, it’s supposed to ultimately be about the children.
I’ve had my work praised before, once when I was really struggling with a new unfamiliar situation… I knew I was doing the best that I could; I also knew that I required a lot more learning and experience to be able to handle it better. I was very disappointed when some “experts” came in and said that I was doing fine and had great ideas and sang my praises to those around. It wasn’t what I needed to hear; I needed to know what else that I could be doing, but they just seemed to not want to trouble themselves. It was, and still is, one of the worst feelings in the world, being praised for something that you know should have gone better…
Another time, I vented to the “powers that be” in an organization that I worked for, about all of the things that really weren’t working well… They took that to their superiors, and they created a position to help solve some of those problems, and then gave me that job! That was a cool feeling. That felt like success, because I created a better working environment for all.
August 24, 2010 at 9:55 am
My problem is that my definition of success is perfection, which is unachievable, so I don’t feel like a success.
Interesting to realize. All or nothing is not a good thinking parameter.
August 24, 2010 at 10:43 am
1. Being happy in my position in life
2. Being debt free with a good amount saved for any occasion
3. To have a healthy family
4. To be giving in my community and making a difference to others
5. Time for myself on a regular basis to do whatever I please
August 24, 2010 at 10:58 am
While I realize that each person’s idea of success is individualized, I can’t help but thinking, Rosemary, that defining success as having a healthy family is a bit “superficial”… Some things in life one can’t control… Happiness or gratefulness may be having a healthy family, but successful? I work with children, some of which may die at a young age, and, while some may not be ‘healthy’, many are happy, and that to me is successful parenting…
August 25, 2010 at 9:01 am
I believe that success is very much an individual concept. I could generalize and use the old-fashioned “finish high school, attend a post-secondary institution, get an impressive & well paying career, buy a house, get married & have kids” but it sounds all too cliched and to be honest: it is okay to desire certain things in life, but we must be realstic in accepting the fact that they may not happen, especially in the order and exact version we would like them to occur.
Therefore, my personal definition of success is “The generalized feeling of contenment/fulfillment one has achieved by completing the majority of their personal goals and accomplishments, alongside accepting their position in life — past, present & potential future — for both its positive and negative aspects, and simply desiring the mental, emotional, and materialistic tangents of life that they already possess.”
August 26, 2010 at 12:22 am
I don’t have good health and have a 99% chance of getting MS but each day I am healthy and feeling good is a personal success for me. Being able to get out of bed pain free is a success. Not superficial to me anyhow. Think what you want.
August 26, 2010 at 7:53 am
Rosemary: So sorry. What I meant though, is that if you deem having a healthy family as a success, it is implying that NOT having a healthy family is a failure, which I strongly disagree with, because it’s not something, as you must know from personal experience, that you have a lot of control of. Having a healthy attitude and being perseverant is certainly a success, and I suspect that that is what you are actually referring to. I just take offense at the negative connotation of your statement. I wish you strength in your journey.
August 31, 2010 at 9:28 am
I don’t think it’s fair to go after Rosemary in such a mean way Cas. If her success is having a healthy family because she personally knows what it’s like not to be you shouldn’t be so negative about that. Who doesn’t want happy and healthy kids? I think it’s a great success to have that as I do have two lovely boys. She didn’t mean any disrespect to those families dealing with sick kids she just knows how hard it is to care for them.
September 2, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Success is difficult to define, as I’m not certain what my goals are. For right now, success is being completely present in everything I do, and doing it with 100% effort.
September 15, 2010 at 10:17 am
I read the comments a few times, and thought this over. I started thinking about my kids, and when they grow up how I would feel they were “successful”. It isn’t a house, a family, a job (well hopefully they will be employed), but if they are happy, not just “oh I’m okay”, but really happy with what they do. They must be true to who they are. So if they are on a path that really defines them, then that is success.
After I defined success for them, I can step back and figure out my “success”. I have a great job that I love, and the people are great, and I am proud to work here. I have great kids that are turning out to be thoughtful and loving. I have made time for what I love to do, kayaking, running, camping. These are the things that matter to me, so yes I am very successful in my life right now.
October 4, 2011 at 11:49 am
I thought I would answer all the Thinking Things Through questions on my own.
This question was posted by Gail about a year ago. It was a toughie to answer – so I came up with 26 responses A-Z. Some of my responses are personal, some are goal-oriented, and some are on a grand social scale. I don’t have any children but I do have family.
How do you define success?
a. Have all my debts paid off.
b. Have enough money to live comfortably on.
c. Have my investments protected and feel secure.
d. Have a nice retirement and dignified old age.
e. Have an ethical constructive job while working with people who I respect and who respect me.
f. Making a difference in the world and NOT getting an award for it – making the difference IS the reward.
g. Being myself at all times.
h. Being happy with myself, family and others.
i. Not having to compete with others.
j. Feeling energetic, have flexibility, and be in good health.
k. Eliminating vices and maintain normal body weight.
l. Having the time for creative expression.
m. Having the time and money to travel and interact with other cultures.
n. Having the time and resources to challenge myself intellectually and not feeling the pressure to obtain a good result or score.
o. Having the time to enjoy quiet pastimes (e.g. reading, petting cat, cooking, artistic pursuits).
p. Having enough money for gifts for others.
q. Hosting family get-togethers more often and having friends over.
r. Having friends that like me for how I am and not what I can do for them or how much money I can spend on having fun.
s. Having time to experience nature and participate in the conservation of nature.
t. Achieving mini personal goals in running and remain injury free.
u. Living in a caring community where community centres, libraries, and social programs are available to all.
v. Living in a nice crime-free and well-maintained community (e.g. well-established social systems, many parks, private developers and city planners following building and environmental codes).
w. Living in a community where there is NO poverty and where immigrants, children, the elderly, the mentally ill and the disabled are all valued members of the community.
x. Living in a community that provides high-quality schooling (including financial, health and life skills education) and sports/arts programs for children.
y. Living in a vibrant community that is economically rich, possessing strong healthy businesses that adhere to ethical business practices.
z. Living in a community, country and world where people are healthy, polite, have manners, are respectful of animals and do not pollute the environment (including noise pollution).
I found success very hard to define and there are probably things I have left out on my list. I think if all those things are in place by the time I die I would consider that a HUGE almost unimaginable success!