Thinking Things Through
Posted by John | Filed under Thinking Things Through
Under these posts we’ll have an opportunity to share our thoughts about our journeys and our growth. These questions will make you think. You don’t have to answer right away. Noodle for a while and then come back and jot down your ideas. Or start your own notebook where you track your journey privately. I’m hoping this will help to bring clarity to those who are struggling with the question, “What do I really, really want?”
This week:
3. Is your life moving in a positive or negative direction? Why?
Take your time and really think about this. If you think you know and want to respond right away, do so. But then come back in a couple of days, re-read your response (or review your response in your notebook) and see if you want to add, subtract, change anything. This is a journey and it is one that will help you uncover what is really important to you if you take time to think.
August 10, 2010 at 7:47 am
I’d like to think that our lives are moving in a positive direction. I’ve recently decluttered our basement, which feels oh so good, and I’ve made a list of all my wants and needs, with some timelines. We are regularly saving money for both our children and our retirement, and are putting money aside in a TFSA for emergencies. We will be completely debt-free in less than 3 years, including mortgage.
We could be doing better; there’s always room for improvement, and the last couple of months has seen money flying out of our hands, but we are having some fun, and still getting ahead (although much slower than we could be).
We’ve been making time for socializing — something that my husband and I have never found easy before, and we are enjoying this new much needed aspect of our lives.
I would like to lead a physically healthier lifestyle, but am very happy with the mentally healthier lifestyle that we have achieved, with better balancing of fun and finances. I am trying to set up exercise as a routine, and hope that I can see it through.
August 10, 2010 at 9:54 am
I say positive.
I’ve taken control of a lot of things that I had lost control over. Money – sticking to a good workable budget. Saving. Planning.
I’ve been spending the last week decluttering my house – only 3 more rooms to go. And preparing for a huge garage sale – all decluttered items sorted, priced to go, cleaned up, and ads being place. No more buying stuff for the sake of buying stuff.
I’ve been doing household repairs that I’ve been putting off doing.
I’ve tackled losing weight and feeling very good about the slow but steady weight loss – eating in, cooking home cooked meals with lots of summer’s vegetable and fruit bounty is the best.
I’ve been enjoying the beauty of nature, taking time to smell the roses so to speak.
I’ve stopped procrastinating.
Baby steps all around. But feeling much better about myself, my life and my state of well-being.
August 10, 2010 at 10:20 am
There will always be hurdles (which I think are necessary in order to know we’ve accomplished something once we overcome them), but I know my life is moving in a positive direction right now. I’m more focused on my family, career and education than ever right now. The path is becoming more clear. I am working on getting out of debt and finally looking towards the future. Thanks for helping me get my butt in gear Gail!
August 10, 2010 at 10:46 am
Positive: I have a great education, a very large and loving family, a fantastic and well-paying job in my field, I’ve started going to the gym to lose the pounds, and I’m healthy overall, despite being overweight at the moment. I’m in debt but I’ll be clear in 30 months or less, and I have plans for my future that make me happy. I’ve travelled more than most, and I plan to keep that up. My home is a disaster which I don’t like, but to be honest, it’s not a priority
Negative: I’m at a painful crossroads in my romantic life, and I’ve been spinning my wheels for years not sure of what to do. This is one part of my life I have no handle on, and our differences are so great that I don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s not so much negative as static… which is negative to me.
August 10, 2010 at 5:33 pm
With every single thing in life, you have a choice, and I think it’s more the reactions I have that impact on whether I feel I’m doing positively or negatively with life.
Thus far, I do my best to keep myself positive, and I think it’s your own energy that pushes you to react in a certain way. I have some negative news in my life, but in general, I believe my life is moving in a positive direction.
I can’t have everything I want, but I’m starting to accept that if I can’t control it, I have to let go. Why worry and possibly blow things out of proportion if I can’t control it? There’s plenty of other people around that are willing to do so on my behalf (especially mothers)! Some days get me down, but on the whole, I think I’m on the positive side of things.
For the things that I can control, I have plans in place, goals that I strive to consistently meet, and in general, all is working out well.
For the things I can’t control, well, I simply can’t control them, and have to wait and see what happens. The results won’t always desireable, but that’s what happens in life, and again, it’s my reactions that dictate whether I want to take it positively or negatively.
August 11, 2010 at 9:06 am
Definitely positive! In more ways than just money!
In the last 12 months we paid off all our consumer debt ($9000) and have recently increased our mortgage payments by $200/month. We saved over $17,000 and learned how to prioritize our needs and wants. Prior to a year ago, we were only saving a token amount that got put into RRSP’s during tax season to decrease the tax we might owe. Now we have a savings plan that will hopefully get us to some semblence of financial freedom by the time we retire at 60.
On other fronts, our children are getting a bit bigger and we reached a few major milestones with them in this last year – no more strollers, no more diapers, all 3 are in school (though one is still half days), and our oldest is starting to test the waters of staying home alone for short periods of time during the day.
Overall, things are getting easier and less stressful as the kids help more around the house, hubby and I are getting to sleep in on weekends again (ahhhh), and our money plan is firmly in place!
August 11, 2010 at 2:34 pm
I know that my life is moving in a positive direction but I don’t feel that way at the moment and I have no idea why. I’m just in a bit of funk these days. The feeling isn’t so bad that I can’t function or that it’s overly obvious to others but I wish I could work out what’s making me feel this way so I could remedy the situation. I know something is bothering me but what is it. I’m not sure how to uncover the issue. I’m sitting tight and waiting for either a revelation or the feeling to pass.
August 12, 2010 at 12:13 pm
@ Liz:
Sometimes it helps me to write out my future life story ~ the life that I hope to be living in x number of years, as if it’s a reality; it helps me refocus and have some fun, and then I make a plan that will help me get there.
Also, at the beginning of every summer, I write what I hope to have done by the end, places that I hope to have gone to, what I hope to have achieved; not a list, but like a journal entry that actually happened… more often than not, it’s exactly what happens, and usually better. Think “The Secret”, but it’s so much more than that, because it helps you uncover your values, and make clearer in your mind what you want for yourself.
August 12, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Positive
My husband and I just got married in October 2009. By living with my parents for a couple years, I had saved enough to pay for our wedding; my husband lived on his own and worked hard to get his student debt paid before we walked down the isle. The only debt we had was a car loan with $9,000 left to be paid (0% financing and will be done in 2.5yrs). Before we got married and moved into our rental, my husband suggested we create a budget a la Gail and live off the jars. I thought he was joking – we only had the car loan and we both made good money so I didn’t think the jars were for us. But he’s definitely a ‘Gail addict’ and thought it was a good idea to prevent us from ending up on TDDUP, so I agreed and we started married life living on the jars. It was hard at first, but once we got through the first month it got easier and easier. Now we both look forward to Jar Money Fridays and I love to watch TDDUP while dividing up our money for the upcoming week. Talking about it also helped. I mentioned Gail and TDDUP to a few friends and quickly found out that they were also doing their own budget system! The more we talk about it, the more people we meet who are also working on a jar-type system and the support you get from everyone is always so positive.
In our first 10 months of married life, we’ve been able to max my RRSP contribution and are close to maxing out my husbands, we’re working on our emergency fund and are planning almost all of our spending (from the little things like hair cuts to the big things like birthday and Christmas gifts and car maintenance). We’ve also saved up a down payment (with closing costs) for the house we just bought!! We created our house budget when we started house shopping, so we knew exactly what monthly payment amount we were comfortable with. We get the keys in a month and I can’t wait! Its amazing how much you can save when you’re just conscious of what you’re spending your money on and you know what you’re saving towards and what your life goals are!
August 13, 2010 at 2:12 am
My life is moving in a positive direction. 2010 has really been a great year for me. I received my undergraduate degree in Computer Science in January. I moved out of my parents’ house post-college in February, to an amazing apartment with beautiful furniture. I started a permanent, high-paying job in my field in March. I have no want for more money. I am saving just under 50% of my net income and staying within my budget every month. I am saving up to what my company will match in a 401(k), 4% of my gross income. I am, in a few weeks, going to pay cash for a $20,000 car. Yes, I am taking some money out of my emergency fund (about $3,000), but I have $15,000 in my emergency fund, I have a very stable job and I will be able to pay back the amount that I am borrowing in less than 2 paychecks. After that, I will be able to pool my savings each money towards a down payment on a house.
August 14, 2010 at 5:04 am
Prologue: I adore that Gail truly makes individuals REFLECT upon their decisions, choices, and future quests, as I feel that these concepts and thoughts are vital to personal & professional growth, and overall contentment and happiness in regards to the lifstyles we choose to lead.
Response: I feel that given the current moment, my life is moving forward — only after many years of being at a physical stand-still. With ill-family and mounting financial woes, I was not able to complete my post-secondary education, nor move out and live a truly independent lifestyle, that of which I genuinely desired.
However, this time has been valuable in regards to moments of contemplation and reflection, in learning from the great successes and mistakes of the generations before me, as well as teaching me the “hard lessons of life” about the value of unconditional love, family, the need to face up to your debts, and ultimately, to realize that only I can decide my future. Thus in retrospect, it had been a very emotional and knowledgeable step forward.
August 15, 2010 at 1:55 am
Hm, I guess this is the kind of question that people with positives would be more inclined to answer than those that feel things are not going so well. Having said that…
the more I think about it, the more I realise I have to be thankful for! My list of positives includes:
-my parents are 65 and 71 and still in good health
-my boyfriend has been out of hospital for over a year
-I’m in my 5th year of a permanent teaching position
-I truly enjoy my work and the people with whom I work
-I’ve started exercising and eating a bit better and it feels good
-I didn’t have a depressive episode over the last winter like I usually do
-thanks to the flu shot, I didn’t get the flu either
-I have good health
-my $$ is slowly but surely getting on track…only student loan left to pay off
Things I need to deal with (that could become negatives if I don’t take control where I can)
-sometimes the spending bug hits, usually on stuff for the apartment or craft supplies
-sweets. I have a massive sweet tooth that needs to be reined in or else I’ll have to increase my clothing budget by a lot!
-car will probably breathe its last in a year or so and I have my heart set on a Subaru…which you can’t really buy used.
August 26, 2010 at 10:27 am
@ Dawn. I guess it depends on where you live, but my parents too had their hearts set on a Subaru and did manage to find one used (turned in leased vehicle, I think) at their local dealer, so don’t give up hope!
September 1, 2010 at 10:00 pm
Honestly, my life goes up and down. It’s easy to get used to the way things are on the downswing, and it takes extra effort to push back up. But, I learn something new each time, and with each upswing, I’m a little farther ahead!
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