When Can I Stop Worrying
Posted by RycePapers | Filed under RycePapers
I posed this question as I immersed myself in reading the 5th retirement book in two weeks. The authors presented words like crisis, wreck, harsh, and crushing. Finally, I climbed into bed and curled up in a scared, stressed ball with visions of underfunding, lost time, and a feeling of failure. Wait a minute, what happened to those retirement pictures of happy people (mostly couples) traveling, enjoying grandchildren, bicycling and eating beautiful meals while drinking wine, preferably right beside the French vineyard?
Pretty much everyone can quote ‘Freedom 55’ which was an advertising slogan yet somehow has translated into a benchmark which prints the word ‘Loser’ on your forehead if you can’t accomplish it. The books I read approached the topic of retirement from various angles: How much do you need for retirement (volume of money)? When will you know you can retire (date with ample pot of money)? How can you make sure you don’t run out of funds (outlasting money)? Will you eat pet food in the cold and dark (lack of money)?
So many of these questions lead me to self criticism such as why didn’t I save more, plan more, or be smarter? Sheesh. When this know-it-all voice begins I must all stop and think: might I have been working, caring for others, getting an education, building relationships, or (forgive me for) LIVING?
All of the glib ‘You can have it all’ rah-rah statements mislead us. Hey, even Tom Cruise, Conrad Black or Katy Perry couldn’t have it all and they’re rich. So there must be more to life and it causes me to return to a sign hanging in my kitchen: Enough is a feast. And for each of us our version of enough is a personal calculation. It begins with determining what is of real value. My pal Diane brought this to my attention. “You always loved your home,” she reminded me. She is right because I would give up fashion, eating at restaurants, and the latest electronics to sit in my sun room as I’m doing right now.
The numbers of my retirement plan have been diced, sliced, projected, divided, and even written in coloured pencils. The answer to ‘do I have enough’ remains the same: maybe yes and maybe no. There are too many unknowns, too many variables that I do not control. So to answer the question of when can I stop worrying about retirement, I’ve come up with two solutions: Either the day I die, or today. I know I’m controlling what I can influence, like my health and my spending and now it’s my attitude that I will tweak so I don’t lose this lovely today by being afraid of tomorrow or ashamed of my past choices like the bad investment decisions I wrote about last week.
Our past choices got us to the place we are today. And I for one am glad I traveled to Italy and I believe that trip began my real love of food and cooking. I’m sure you can look back at some of your choices and know what good decisions they were. None of us gets a perfect life but we do get a life that is ours. Recently I watched a YouTube video about choice and the fellow made the point that choice involves a loss. Absolutely right because when we choose one thing over another we lose the other thing.
When a dear friend would drop her daughter Tara off at school she would always say: ‘Make good choices.’ What a fantastic lesson to instill. I’d like to propose a toast. Here’s to all the benefits of our good choices and the lessons learned from the less good choices. Cheers!
That is what’s on my mind today, what do you think?
Victoria Ryce
I am a former stockbroker, banker, international corporate trainer, and community shared agriculture worker. Have a Master's Degree in Human Systems Intervention (people and change). A big recycler, dog lover, reader, author of two books and yoga chick. Widowed and living in the country. Grow my own tomatoes and garlic to make salsa. Yummy.
July 10, 2012 at 8:22 am
My parents are successful and have recently retired. One of their investments was rental property so that the will always have an income. I plan on doing the same so that if my savings run out I will still have money coming in. I need that security blanket.
July 10, 2012 at 7:59 pm
Rental property as retirement income: it works for me. I started by purchasing a home – turned half of it into rental income. This covered the mortage and gave me a cushion which protected me from possible job lay-off; unexpected expenses etc.. Next I then purchased my first rental property (with cash to minimize the risk). I added more rentals and have now – since I am newly retired – turned my home into a B&B. I live in far-northern Canada where costs of living are staggering but have managed to find a way to cope and thrive.
July 12, 2012 at 10:02 am
you are two smart cookies!
July 10, 2012 at 9:02 am
I chose to take early retirement and although I don’t worry much about the future I certainly think about it. Because all my female relatives in the previous generation lived into their nineties I believe that I may too.
Here’s the choice I have difficulty with. Do I spend sparingly now so that I will have more if I’m still around at 95, or do I spend now so that I can enjoy things I’ve always wanted to do or go places now that I wouldn’t be able to later? I keep thinking that if I keep saving and die early I will have missed out on enjoying all that money I put away.
July 10, 2012 at 11:03 am
My retirement savings are gone.
I started saving a substantial amount every month when I was 23 years old. When I was 28, my hair was falling out in handfuls from stress, I had just quit a job that was a really bad fit and ended a tumultuous 5 year relationship. Having grown up on a farm, I had been working hard in some form or other since I was 5 years old. I chose, against everything I had ever been taught (and my financial adviser’s horrified protests), to support myself on my retirement savings (freedom 28?), stop working and enter a counseling program. Let’s just say my childhood was a horror show that (with hefty thanks to that six months off and a wonderful counselor) I have nearly recovered from.
Now with 40 coming up in six months, my husband and I are debt free and I will start to save for retirement again. Yes, I’ll have to save much more, but if I hadn’t taken that time to sort myself out, I believe I would be dead right now… and what use is a hefty RRSP then? I have a motto about worry, “Don’t worry until you KNOW there’s something to worry about… then deal with it.” Everyone is different, with different needs at different times… we just need to regain our focus and work toward what we need and want.
It sounds like you’re doing great, Victoria!
July 12, 2012 at 10:05 am
hi kimberly, your story is inspiring. you put yourself on the list of important things in life. way to go, you sound like you are doing just the right thing.
July 10, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I don’t think you ever stop worrying, you just worry less on some days than others. In 2004 I lost my house to Hurricanes Francis & Jeanne in Florida. The house had damage to it but it was the mold that got me out of there. I couldn’t afford to get it all fixed so after 6 months of living with a friend I put my house up for sale “as is”. It sold in 12 hrs to a couple living in NY. ( this was during the housing boom in FL. ) They paid full price and I was on my way from Florida to Georgia with a nice fat check. I bought my house here paid cash, plus had a nice size sum in the bank.
Fast forward to June 6, 2011, I had a heart attack at work 2 months shy of my 51th BD. Diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy ( form of heart disease ) I’m told I can never work again and I should apply for Disability. It took 7 months for me to get approved for disability thank goodness I had an Emergency fund to keep me afloat. It’s been a yr now since I have been “retired” I now live on $847 a month from the Govt and I still have my Emergency fund but it has become smaller with time. I live strictly on cash and being totally debt free has helped me save a little bit each month, but I always have that worry that I’m just one step from losing it all.
July 10, 2012 at 8:04 pm
“So to answer the question of when can I stop worrying about retirement, I’ve come up with two solutions: Either the day I die, or today.”
This is very smart, thank you for teaching me this.