Trend Setting
Posted by Jess | Filed under Jess
I’ve talked about it before: how money isn’t taboo anymore. Or at least, it doesn’t need to be. I grew up in a home where money wasn’t talked about in front of us. Eventually knowledge was passed on as I got a job, a car and a credit card, but by then I already had my own ideas. Then Gail taught me a thing or two about money when I was in debt at 19(simply because I didn’t care enough to not be). And now here I am only a few years later, still in debt, but with a clear idea of how I got there and how to get out. Now, after spending so much time being taught about my money, I am ready to turn around and offer it back. Through this blog, it seems I have become a bit of a trend setter:
—Right about the same time my husband and I started on “the Gail way” my sister and her husband were reorganizing their finances. Ideas were passed back and forth, and my nephews food jars were rinsed out. They were only the first.
—Eventually my younger sister in law decided she liked the look of “all homework and no sleep make happy students”—at least thats what I assume my husband and I look like. So she came to me with her past bank statements and empty mason jars. University is something she can actually save for now with a well organized budget.
—A coworker is looking to move out on his own, but doesn’t know how to do it on a barista’s buck. He looks at me, married and going to school, working less hours than him and somehow making it all work. I have been commissioned to help him with a budget that will get him a car of his own, paying rent and saving for nursing school.
—Sometime between then and now my mom started to realize that her and her husband wanted some things out of life that their current situations weren’t going to give them. And theres always that magic age creeping up to them. So, albeit a slow process, I am passing the advice onto my mother. She, soon will be adjusting her attitude and taking her money back. Funny how those roles reversed now that I’m all grown up.
I love it when people talk to me about something I have written in my blog, or about the conversations it has generated. I love it when you all respond with your own stories! I’ve heard my fellow baristas share the story with regulars at my store. I have had opportunities for my writing come up through this blog, opportunities for being on a publishing board at school, and countless other new avenues to explore all because I took a minute to listen to Gail and take back what is rightfully mine: dollars and cents. Through my crazy story I have been able to inspire people around me to think about money in a new and conversational way and it’s awesome!
But this has been a very “I” heavy post, so let’s have your stories! What do people say when they see the jars of money in your purse, or the budget binder in your jacket? Does it spark conversation or is it still “that which shall not be named”? What trends have you started in your circles? Happy Wednesday!
A twenty-something FT university student and wife from the wonderful west coast, Jess’s husband is also in school FT. They are both PT coffee slingers. Not surprising, they are in debt. As Jess says, “We love to say yes to each other.”
April 25, 2012 at 9:18 am
I no longer consider money talk taboo either. I am upfront with what our debt was and how we paid it off. (we did the “austerity” (to us, anyhow) program) I love talking to people about how dumb we were and how we saw the light and get them started. I have talked to best friends, best friend’s daughter, coworkers, family…. complete strangers! If 1 person can turn their lives around and become financially free I figure things are good.
April 25, 2012 at 12:19 pm
yea its one of the things that keeps me going with the budget, knowing that other people are looking to me for advice.
congrats on being debt free!
April 25, 2012 at 1:01 pm
People are always asking about my jars, and I have become well known at my bank as the lady who takes out monthly money. I’m starting trends all around us because when people ask about it I always explain that we used to be in huge debt and thru budgeting and living on cash, we will be paid off in less than a year. Usually, the next time I see those people they tell me they started their own jars, or switched to their own cash budget, even the ladies at the bank!!!! I couldn’t believe that THEY started following my advice!!
April 25, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Thats awesome dawn! I’m impressed that you got bank ladies to use cash instead of plastic. I figured they were forever enemies! Bravo. Keep on trend setting!
April 25, 2012 at 1:04 pm
I had a similar upbringing to you Jess – although we did discuss money at home, it wasn’t something to be discussed with anyone outside of immediate family (basically my parents and occasionally my sisters).
My partner and I are now planning on moving in together, and a big part of that process is breaking the unwritten rule of not talking to non-family members about money. It was really important to me that we talk about how money would work since I’m a dedicated saver and he is a saver-in-training (I’m slowly getting him to make progress), and neither of us have any debt and would like to stay that way. At first it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable (he was also raised in the “don’t talk about money” way) until finally we both pulled up our online statements on our computers and traded screens. Knowing he was looking at my info made me feel a bit less scandalous looking at his.
I also shared my budget sheet and spending journal with him. We do have a major gap in income (he makes A LOT more then I do) so I wanted him to understand how and where I spend my money and why I have to be more careful then him when it comes to spending. We now have a strong understanding of where we each stand on finances and a household budget which means we can (hopefully) avoid any awkward fights about money and enjoy spending more time together!
April 25, 2012 at 3:38 pm
my hubby and I never had to have the awkward money conversation, when we first got together I had recently moved back into town and was sort of living off of the generous dime of my loved ones, so right out of the gate we knew where we stood. Since then we have always been really open about money, especially during the planning and saving for our wedding. However, I think the openness we have about it is certainly stirring up conversation with his family. First his little sister has taken up our methods and there has been inquiries by his parents. I find the lack of secrecy refreshing. Christmas is certainly easier when everyone knows where people stand!
Good luck on the move, you sound like you’re already on the right track!
April 25, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Yes Jess, the roles have reversed when it comes to money – I’m learning alot from you. But more importantly I am so very proud of you & hubby for the strong approach you have taken, and the way that you have brought so many of us along for the ride. You are right, it’s a slow process getting me up & running with the budget as time seems to be my enemy, but every week you give me new inspiration right here on your blog! Keep up the great work, and the always interesting writing Jess. We love it, and you!
April 25, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Thanks mom! We’ll get you on those jars yet! Your constant support in this is greatly appreciated. Love you!
April 26, 2012 at 12:04 am
Hi Jess!
People at work call me “obsessed” with finances and Gail, only because I read her blog (in the process of reading every post backwards, currently in July 2010, haha) and carrying her books around. And now I have noticed they have started to ask me questions or my opinion about the money stuff. I sometimes just refer them to the appropriate Gail blog post.
We have also had a big open talk about our debt (most of which is in the past now, yay) with hubby’s family and told them how we are dealing with our monies now. Only to find out that his sister is on the verge of bankruptcy. Crazy what a taboo money has become.
April 27, 2012 at 4:19 pm
money taboo is insane! way to get it all out there on the table with the family. It certainly went a long way with us!
April 27, 2012 at 11:44 pm
You are so right Jess! Gail is doing an amazing service by tearing apart that last taboo! And you are so brave for sharing your story with everyone you can. People want to talk about this stuff, they’re just embarrassed and unsure how it will be received. But not you, I am proud of you!