Rejuvenation Station
Posted by Jess | Filed under Jess
I couldn’t resist the corny rhyme, sorry. So it’s Wednesday again, and I know I’ve been hinting at blogs to come. There was a reason I was holding off writing this one. But now I can write it! So in December my man and I decided that school really does a number on our lives when we are in the heat of the semester and forget to take a minute to ourselves. We made a pact to go on one date night a month, factored it into the budget so there would be money in the jars for a nice dinner or a dinner and a movie or some other sort of fun activity. We wrote it down on a napkin (because we were at a restaurant) and posted it front and centre on the vision board which lives on the wall in our bedroom. There’s really no way to avoid it. Its there, at the top of the napkin under the title “GOALS FOR 2012″.
The date night concept was originally just a solution to university woes. Once a week was unreasonable to work around essays and midterms and such, so we would just end up postponing. And we certainly needed the break in the middle of the semester, so “end of semester celebration” every three months wouldn’t work either. Once a month was perfect. Time goes by so quickly we’re already halfway to the next date night before we even realize that the old one was two weeks before. It was really letting us relax in the middle of what was quite possibly the most demanding semester for both of us, to date.
And then there was the bonus! We were feeding our spending habits. I mentioned we budgeted for the date nights. And I’ve mentioned before how our bad habits had been neutralized but that the urge to spend still crept up. Luckily we’re so busy with school that we don’t usually have time to spend any money, but when we do—boy do we know how to spend. We completely fly off the handle! So the once a month date nights were our controlled way of binge spending. Sure it was a controlled amount of money, but it was ours to do whatever we want with in an evening. And the icing on the cake was when we discovered that we didn’t even always need to spend the allotted amount of money for the date. In January we went to a movie for free (with our scene points). In February we were house sitting and rented a movie we had missed from the theatres, one that was in the Oscar race. March we went out for dinner at our local Cactus Club and just this past weekend we were in Whistler for an overnight stay. Wait a minute, what? We went to Whistler? Yup, you heard me. I was waiting for a big date like this one in order to share the success we’ve had with this little resolution of ours. We went on a museum tour of an old copper mine (a gift from my sister and brother in law to my History loving husband), we stayed the night at my cousin’s condo and we had saved enough from the previous months to enjoy a couple nice meals. I can’t lie to you, we weren’t perfect, but hey, its only April!
Those date nights have been a wonderful addition to our student schedules. They give us something to look forward to, they challenge us to complete essays earlier so as not to be stressed during the date. They let us talk, dream and put school and work aside; they allow us to spend without breaking the budget to do it. Our once a month dates have taken care of spenders guilt! I am already looking forward to outdoor plays and picnics for our summer dates, and who knows maybe in the early winter while hubby is making a mad dash for graduation we can make a snowboarding trip out of a date.
A twenty-something FT university student and wife from the wonderful west coast, Jess’s husband is also in school FT. They are both PT coffee slingers. Not surprising, they are in debt. As Jess says, “We love to say yes to each other.”
May 2, 2012 at 10:24 am
Nice! It is a great way to keep in touch with each other, making time to do something that isn’t work/school while keeping the budget intact. I agree that sometimes you have to scratch the “spend” itch. Good for you for keeping it mindful!
May 2, 2012 at 12:22 pm
Yea the spenders itch is a scary thing, because when we give in, we really give in. and we lose the ability to say no to each other. Last year we went to a Vancouver Whitecaps game, and came out with a jersey…each…the date nights have definitely helped with that.
May 2, 2012 at 11:12 am
Love love love what you are doing! Sounds like a great way to win win win in both your relationship, school work and budget.
May 2, 2012 at 11:13 am
okay, maybe both is a bad choice of word…
May 2, 2012 at 12:21 pm
it really is a win win win situation though! there are definitely a couple shows in the summer that we probably would have missed if we couldn’t schedule them as dates, one of which is my favourite musical of all time—the music man. I still can’t believe that only four months in how much it has helped. thanks for the support stamperitis.
May 2, 2012 at 2:54 pm
We started date nights once a month this year as well. Now that my oldest is o.k. to babysit for a couple of a hours it’s fantastic. We’ve really enjoyed each other’s company and I’m thrilled to be getting more live arts back into my life.
May 2, 2012 at 7:39 pm
It is so nice to be able to justify the tickets to some of the shows now. There have been many a phenomenal performance and good movie missed due to a too tight budget. The date nights are glorious.
May 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Beautiful idea! Way to go working on your relationship–because let’s face it, that will trump any budget, but you need a relationship to create a budget together, right?
Thanks for sharing a bit of the dream…..hoping to get in the swing of “regular” date nights ourselves now that we are confident leaving all the kids at home with a sitter.
May 2, 2012 at 7:38 pm
yea, they are so nice to look forward to. We get to do things we wouldn’t think about putting money towards otherwise. This month we’re going to a Whitecaps soccer game! Paid for with today’s Groupon!
May 2, 2012 at 9:57 pm
We’ve been able to save on our dates too! In February we went to see a movie with a movie pass saved from a Christmas gift (including popcorn and drinks). In March friends of ours gave us tickets to the symphony because they couldn’t go at the last minute. And last month we went for brunch with two for one coupons that came in the mail! Gotta love it!
May 8, 2012 at 11:24 pm
That sounds like wicked saving! Keep it up! We recently got our hands on this year’s “entertainment book” which is a Bible sized book of coupons for the lower mainland here in BC. Hoping its going to introduce us to some new restaurants and some fun things to do in the coming months
May 5, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Reading your post has really inspired me to get once a month date nights happening with my partner, our second child is due in 7 weeks so a date night sounds nice, you don’t realise how much you just go through the motions of life until you read or see something that makes you think differently. Yes once a month date night sounds great, thanks for the idea
May 8, 2012 at 11:22 pm
glad you were inspired Jasmin! Congrats on the new babe, I can’t even imagine how much busier life would be with little ones running around. Hope you enjoy your once a month of rejuvenation.