I meet a lot of people who have expectations that are completely unrealistic, and it makes me wonder where they got their life pictures. Why would a woman who has just graduated from university and hasn’t even got a good job yet think it’s okay to have a baby, buy a house, and throw herself a big wedding? Why would a young couple believe that the beautiful house they bought (that they could barely afford) isn’t good enough and buy a bigger one? And when did the kind of car we drive, the clothes or shoes we wear, or the neighbourhood we live in become such a reflection on us that we’re willing to pretend things are fine when we’re neck-deep in debt?

We’ve grown up with more STUFF than has ever been available before for consumption. TVs get bigger and flatter with better resolution and more fabulous sound. Houses get bigger, with more bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchens. Cars get fancier (I want the one that knows how to parallel park itself!) with leather seats, in-car communications, and more cup-holders!

With all the STUFF just waiting to be bought, the question becomes this: Are you really willing to spend whatever it takes to have it all right now, regardless of the impact on your financial health?

It may be that the lifestyle you have, or want to have, is shaped by what you had when you lived with your parents. Their hard work made it possible for you to grow up in a house, and you can’t imagine living in anything but, despite the fact that you haven’t saved a downpayment. For while it took our parents 10 or 15 years to come up with the money to get into a house, many of us think we’re entitled RIGHT NOW.

Unless you come out of school earning as much as your parents, with the savings to back it up, you can’t buy the same lifestyle they had. Putting yourself into debt and not leaving any money for savings mean you’re setting yourself up financial failure.

I meet a lot of people who want to indulge their every whim either because they were indulged as children and it’s their norm, or because they weren’t and it’s their due! Talk about no way out. Delusional Debtors can always find a good excuse for spending money. That’s a no-brainer. The fact that we’re spending money on credit – spending money we haven’t yet earned – is down-right dopey, particularly when it’s for consumables. Sure, that $200 dinner was great. But once you go home and have a good poop, all you’re left with is the debt on your credit card.

And then there are the people who spend money they know they shouldn’t, experiencing buyers remorse and slapping themselves upside the head for being stupid… who then go out and do it again. What will it take to stop?

It may take revamping the picture you have of your life. If you have painted a picture for yourself that you simply cannot afford, it’s time to paint a new picture – one that  you can feel good about.

It’s lovely to think that a beautiful home, a late-model car, and a cottage, boat, basement full of entertainment equipment is ours for the having, but the reality is that for many people our grasp exceeds our reach. I can’t afford that car that parks itself and I know it. To go out and lease one would mean I’d have to scrimp in other areas – most likely on my saving and my emergency fund – and I’m not prepared to do that.

Ditto an annual vacation. While it’s a lovely idea, and it may be hard to watch others head south while I’m stuck shoveling snow, the reality is putting it on credit isn’t an option for me. So I’ve painted myself a picture that includes a family vacation somewhere wonderful about every three to five years, depending on how I’m doing financially. I save up the money and come back with no regrets.

So, what pictures did you paint that are getting you iton trouble? What did you imagine your life would be like, only to wake up to some hard realities that have you scratching your head? And how do you feel about having to change your expectations? If you aren’t willing to revamp your picture, how are you planning to make it work?

Perhaps the hardest part of taking control of our money and our life is the first step: honesty. We must honestly look at the picture we’ve built and the impact it’s having on our financial stability. If we’re balanced and in a good place then the picture’s a keeper. If we have debt, no savings, no EF, no insurance or worry about paying the hydro bill on time, it time to get out a fresh canvas and start painting a new picture.