There are good reasons for women’s sense of financial insecurity. One factor that affects women’s income is their family status. Women make up the large majority of lone parents. Women head up 80% of all one-parent families and single-parent households headed by women have by far the lowest incomes of all. According to  the Canadian Research Institute for the advancement of Women, “51.6% of lone parent families headed by women are poor.” It’s no wonder we fear for our children and ourselves. The statistics are frightening. And if you are one of the statistics, your whole life can be frightening. What could be worse for any mother than wondering how she will put food in front of her children, keep them housed and provide for their well being?

Divorce treats women and men very differently. According to the Vanier Institute of the Family, in the first year after divorce, women’s household income plummets between 20-40%. Three years after divorce, women’s income remains far below what they had during marriage and far below their ex-husbands’ incomes. According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation, 21% of single-parent mothers are poor, compared to 7% of single parent fathers.

The most frightening statistic of all is the fact that approximately 30% of all support orders are in default nationally. And some of those support orders are a joke! I had one mom say to me with tears in her eyes, “How could they say my child is only worth $50 a month?” So, not only do women have to face the full emotional responsibility of raising their children, they often receive little, if any, consistent financial support from their children’s fathers. It’s no wonder women are scared.

Not only do women have less money to deal with the challenges and crises that arise, they are also more likely than men to encounter these challenges. Our longer life expectancies put us in the position of having to cope for more years on less money and it also makes us more vulnerable to disabilities, since physical deterioration increases with age. Thirteen percent of Canadian women and 42% of women 65 and older had disabilities.  And the unemployment rate among women with disabilities is 75%.

Disability in later years puts more pressure on financial resources. At a younger age, a disability can completely wipe us out because it eliminates or severely hampers our ability to earn an income. Even here, men and women play on different fields. Of all disabled men and women with an income, while men’s average income was $26,890, women’s average income was only $17,230.

As a woman, do you worry about your financial security? Do you think things are different for men and women? What are you doing to ease your fears?

My girlfriend, Jack, calls me up the other day to say she’s thinking of buying a house. Jack has been to see her friendly neighbourhood banker who has reassured her that she can most certainly afford to buy the house she’s looking at. Jack doesn’t have a downpayment, but that’s okay. The banker is happy to arrange her downpayment for her; she’ll only need 5% after all. And amortized over 30 years, the mortgage payment works out to be a little less than Jack’s current rent. It’s a good deal.

Jack: Don’t you say that you shouldn’t spend more than 35% on housing?

Me: Yup, that’s what I say.

Jack: My banker says it’s 44%.

Me: Really? That’s because your banker wants to bury you in debt.

Jack: Yeah, I’m not sure this is really such a good idea.

Me: What all is he including in your 44%? Just mortgage payments?

Jack: Mortgage and property taxes.

Me: What about utilities, insurance and maintenance.

Jack: No, none of those things.

Me: So with those things you’d be over 44%

Jack: I guess.

Me: Is that 44% of your net income or your gross income?

Jack: Huh?

Me: Money in the bank, Jack, or your annual gross income?

Jack: Gross, I told him I made $60,000 a year.

Me: But you also pay tax, have union dues deducted and a whole bunch of other stuff. You don’t take home $5,000 a month.

Jack: Yeah, I know.

Me: What do you take home?

Jack: About $3,200 a month.

Me: And your stupid lender thinks on a net income of $3,200 a payment as high as $2,200 would be okay?

Jack: It does sound kind of weird when you say it that way.

Me: So are you going to buy the house?

Jack: I dunno. I’m thinking about it.

Me: Y’know, even if the dope calculated it on your net income, you’d have just $1,800 left a month to cover your transportation costs, food, house insurance, maintenance, and everything else.  Didn’t you tell me that with your car payment, insurance and gas you were spending way too much on your car?

Jack: Yeah, with all my commuting it’s about $800 a month.

Me: Okay, so that’d leave you with $1,000 for everything else.

Jack: Doesn’t seem like much, does it?

Me: Hey, it depends on how important owning a home is to you. Far be it from me to tell you what to do. You never listen anyway (with a smile.)

Jack: Well, I’ll think about it some more.

Clearly the lender is over-estimating Jack’s Capacity to repay the loan. Capacity is one of the 5 C’s of lending (which lenders seem to be totally ignoring these days) and it measures your ability to actually get the debt GONE (as opposed to just making minimum payments). Lenders are supposed to weigh the amount of discretionary income you have to repay your debt. And they’re also supposed to look at Capacity based on the term of the loan you’re taking and your other obligations like family responsibilities and other existing debt.

Once upon a time lenders used to insist on a Total Debt Service Ratio (TDS) of about 30%. But with the fight for market share and the increase in housing costs, that’s gone out the window. Sadly, our incomes have NOT kept pace with the rise in housing costs, and so TDS levels have increased… not really a good idea if you want to also be able to save for the future and have a life right now.

The industry is paying a lot of lip service to “financial literacy” these days. And Credit Education Week is just one more example of the lip service. After all, if banks were serious about ensuring that customers were building financially sound foundations, they wouldn’t be offering them credit that would make that foundation crack with the smallest change in personal income or interest rates, would they?

Have you joined School Lenders on Facebook yet? Have your sent your letter off to your member of parliament? What are you waiting for?

Next week: More about the 5 C’s: Character.

You just have to look at the way so many people deal (or don’t deal) with their money to know that there is still a whole bunch of people who don’t think money is important. It flows in and out of their hands without them having any idea where it’s going.

There are the folks who spend without giving a second thought to their spending. Want a cuppa coffee? There’s a Timmies, we can just drive thru. And while we’re there, we’ll pick up a 20-pack of Timbits. Never mind that that’s the money The Other Half set aside for the hydro bill. Hey, it’s just a cup of coffee, right?

How many times have you bought something without thinking about it? You walk up to the cashier and as you’re waiting to pay you pick up the magazine, the pack of gum, the candy bar that sitting right in front of you. Was that a “thought about” purchase?

And then there’s the instant-response purchase. Think of all the money that’s been made on shamwows and easy-graters, miracle health remedies and anti-aging serums, bracelets designed to return your flexibility and pills designed to return your sexual vigour.

Some people don’t have a budget, so they don’t have a plan for how they will spend their money. They keep their fingers crossed and hope they get to the end of the month before they get to the end of the money. Then they scratch their heads and wonder why they always seem to be in overdraft. Duh!

And then there are the hard-working, lazy-assed dopes won’t spend even one hour a month organizing their money. They throw bills and receipts in a drawer – or worse, they shred ‘em without even opening them. They don’t want to look at their bank balances because that would mean they might have to do something differently. And they’re “too busy” to do the detail required to be in control of their money.

Hey people. Your money is important. You should know where every cent has gone. You should have a plan for how you’ll use your money so it doesn’t just vanish leaving you wondering what you’re doing wrong. And you should invest a little time to keep track of it.

You drag your sorry butt out of bed every day to go to work to make money. Don’t you think your money is important enough to warrant at least a little time thinking about how best to use the fruits of your labour?

It’s an interesting paradox, isn’t it? We’ll expend all kind of energy making money, but some of us won’t spend even a little time thinking about how to put it to the best use possible. Whazzup with that?

Hey, I guess it’s because YOUR money is just not that important.

This is the state of our lending these days. I’m hearing stories of children in high school being shipped credit cards once they turn 18. Lord love a duck! It’s got to stop.

And so I’m asking for your help. I want you, all your friends, your family, your co-workers, anyone who gives two hoots about fixing our very broken lending system to pay attention.

Over the next six weeks, I’m going to be talking about what good lending is supposed to look like. And I’ll share your stories about crappy lending experiences. I want it all to culminate during Credit Education Week, which is November 13-19 this year.

Ah, Credit Education Week: the week given over to helping we bears of very little brain understand how to better use credit.

Let’s turn this puppy on its head. This year, we The People are going to use Credit Education Week to School Lenders.

If you want to be part of the effort to School Lenders, join the School Lenders group on Facebook.  Then stay tuned for announcements about Twitter and Facebook chats leading up the School Lenders Week. Get out your pen and write to your MP to demand a change to the legislation. Tell everyone you know, and tell them to tell everyone they know, that it’s time to make lenders stop lending irresponsibly!

During School Lenders Week, I want Canadians to commit to not using credit for anything during that week. Yup, that means it’ll be a cash-only week.  You can do that, right?

If banks put profits before people, it’s time for people to hit banks where it hurts most: their pockets. By forgoing credit for one week, lenders will not only lose all the new charges for that week, they’ll lose all the retailer fees for processing credit card payments. You betcha that’s big money.

If you’re ready to make a difference, all you have to do is:

•          Commit to not using your credit for one week (Nov 13-19),

•          Join the School Lenders Facebook group to show your support

•          Write to your Member of Parliament and tell them you want new legislation that ends the use of the credit score as a credit-granting tool. There’s a sample letter under “Resources” entitled School Lenders.

•          Spread the word to family, friends, co-workers, and whoever else will listen.

The message we want to send is that we’re not happy with the way lenders are doing business. We’re not happy with the way the credit score is being used. Get back to good lending!

Next week: More Schooling Lenders and the 5 C’s.

So think for a minute: what is the one thing you wish you could do, have, be? What reoccurring “I want” do you have in your life?

Now think about how you’re spending your money right now. Is it to make your “I want” a reality? If it isn’t, THAT’S why your “I want” is still an “I want.” You aren’t doing anything about it. And you’re letting less worthy stuff intrude into your “I want” space.

People tell me all the time “I want to get my debt paid off” or “I want to buy a house” or “I want to able to travel” and their I want statements are quickly followed by “but”.

There’s no BUT. Either you do want it or you don’t want it. Quit your vacillating. Do you or don’t you want it?

If you do want it then you will do everything you can to make it so. You’ll cut all the spending you do on crap. You’ll get an extra job. You’ll get what you want.

The only way you won’t get what you want if you’re only pretending to want what you say you want. Then you’ll go out for dinner twice a week, you’ll spend money on coffee, tea and beer, and you’ll buy every little nonsense that catches your eye. You’ll also keep whining about the fact that you can’t have what you say you really want.

I have met so many people who decided what they wanted and made it so. A lot of them wanted to be out of debt and they managed to pay off huge amounts of the yucky stuff with focus and attention to the details. It’s actually pretty awesome listening to some of the stories.

These are Joanna and Joseph Average in every way except their determination. They know what they want and they get it. It isn’t easy – hey, life is full of ups and downs – but they persist. And they achieve.

If you’ve been I-wanting for a while now, and you haven’t I-got yet, you may have to ask yourself some tough questions about just how important your I-want really is. Hey, if it’s just some pipedream and you’re not committed, let it go. You’ll be happier living in your right now

But if it’s something you do really want, what are you doing Right Now to get it?

That’s the idea behind the pay-yourself-first approach to saving. Increase your TFSA contribution by $20 a week. Com’on, $20 a week is only $5 a day during the work week. Over 35 years that $20 a week will grow to almost $58,000 if you’re earning 2.5% on your money. Earn just 1% more and you’ll have over $70,000. Hey, that’s got to be worth $20 a week! (Contrary to popular belief, interest rates won’t always be as low as they are today.)

But the small change idea goes beyond saving. You can apply it to so many parts of your life. Walk around the block once a day to get started on a walking program. Soon you’ll be able to do it two, three, four times.

Take one Saturday a month to cook up a batch of food for the freezer so you have yummy food ready when you don’t have time for week-night meal prep. In no time at all you’ll fall in love with your own cooking again (you’ll have to spread your wings to keep it interesting after all), and you’ll re-embrace the slow cook approach to meal prep.

Up your monthly mortgage payment by $50. That’s not so much, is it? $50 a month is manageable, right? Over a 25year amortization at 5%, you’ll save over $13,000 in interest.  Wow!

Change doesn’t have to be dramatic to really be worth it. Small changes (like those coins you pile in the jar for that annual family vacation) can grow into significant new-and-better.

What one small thing will you change today?

The show had a lot of iconic moments. One of my favorites was when Joey would say in his deep, sultry voice, “How you doin’?”  It was the line that melted girls’ panties. So funny.

So pretend I’m Joey for a moment: How you doin’? No, I’m not trying to denude you with Joey magic, I’m just asking: “When was the last time you took stock of where you are and how you feel about it?”

1. Are you happy with your income?  Do you feel like you make enough money, or do you know you’re not bringing in enough to support the lifestyle you want?

2. Are you spending less than you make? This is Gail’s Rule #1 and it’s the only way to be solvent. So, is your spending below your income? Do both you and your partner see eye-to-eye on this issue? Do you even know how much of your income you’re spending and on what?

3. Do you have any consumer debt? This is the bane of a healthy financial foundation. Consumer debt is money you spent on stuff… money you haven’t yet earned. Credit itself isn’t bad… but debt (using that credit and not paying it off) is. If you’re relying on overdraft protection, a line of credit or your credit cards to get you to the end of the month, you’re in trouble. And if you don’t have a plan to get that consumer debt gone in three years or less, you’re in denial.

4. Do you have a healthy emergency fund? You need six months’ worth of essential expenses (that’s ground beef not sirloin steak) in the bank in cash. A line of credit doesn’t count.

5. Have you got enough of the right kind of life, disability, and critical illness insurance you need to ensure that if the worst does happen you (and your family) are covered?

6. Have you made a Will and executed Powers of Attorney for both financial and personal care? What, you think you’ll never die? Nothing bad can happen to you because you’re a good person? Grow up!

7. Are you saving enough for retirement? You can count on government benefits if you think that’s all you’ll need. But if you live above that standard now, and you don’t want to be old and BROKE, you better start setting a little sumthin’ sumethin’ aside now, dontcha think?

8. Are you paying the least amount of tax possible? Okay folks, if you’re giving the tax-man one red cent more than you absolutely have to, you’re dumber than a sack of hammers. Use an RRSP to trim your taxes. Use a TFSA to earn tax-free return. Use an RESP to grab money from the tax-man for your kids’ education. Claim all your deductions. Keep your receipts organized. Get familiar with the tax booklet while you have your morning poop.

9. Is your money invested in the best vehicle for YOU? This is where I depart from all the other investment Spurts. I don’t think “you should be in equities” or that “you need to be earning more on your investments.” I’m the girl that says you need to buy investments that suit you based on your level of understanding, your time horizon and your risk profile. Don’t let anybody talk you into anything. Buy what you know will work for YOU. But when you do, make sure you’re buying the best thing available. (If you still have your savings in a traditional bank earning next to nothing when there are other options offering a half to a full percent more in interest, you’re a dope.)

You do have control. If you accept the fact that you have control, your next step will be to exercise that control. I know that there are days when you don’t want to do it, when you say, ‘I just can’t be bothered.’ But you must. You work hard for your money. It’s time to take control of it.

Tracking what you earn and what you spend doesn’t have to be hard. Get yourself a notebook and a pen. Those are the simplest tools to use. If you’re more ambitious, you can create your own spreadsheet, find an app or signup with an online financial aggregator. (Careful about choosing one that doesn’t require your PIN numbers since handing them out is a big no-no.) No matter how you choose to track your money, these are the steps:

1. Write it down: Keep a spending journal where you write down every penny you spend and deduct it from how much you have left in the bank. This will help you keep track of all your spending and figure out which expenses are unnecessary.

2. Deduct your fixed costs automatically: At the beginning of every pay period, deduct exactly how much money is coming out of your account to go toward fixed costs. Those might include mortgage payments or rent, insurance, heat, hydro and all your other fixed expenses. Then you’ll know exactly how much money you have left to spend on your variable costs.

3. Mitigate your risks: You must have both an emergency fund and enough of the right kind of insurance. These are non-negotiable. The idea of not having enough money in the bank to do something I have to do is anathema to me. I can’t even conceive of not being able to buy my kids food or pay my hydro bill.

4. Pay off your debt: Yup, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to eliminate your consumer debt licketysplit. That means three years or less. Forget paying the minimum payment. If you owe $2,500 on a credit card with an 18 per cent interest rate and you just pay the minimum payment, you’ll end up spending more than $4,000 in interest.

5. Stop using credit: Using credit means you’re spending money you haven’t yet earned. If you want something, save up the money and buy it with cash. Once upon a time there was no credit and we were fine. Now we spend gobs of time working to pay interest on crap we bought that we didn’t actually need all because we didn’t have the discipline to say, ‘Not yet. Not until I’ve saved the money.’

6. Save for the future. It’s a’comin’ and if you’re not ready with some money, it’ll be a sad life being old and poor. It doesn’t have to be a lot to start. Just start. Then look for ways to build your savings. And remember, the earlier you start, the less you have to save to have what you’ll need when it comes time to hang up your spurs.

Once you take control of your finances, you’ll be happier for it. Until you have experienced the freedom that comes from knowing you have money in the bank – of knowing that you can cope with just about anything life throws at you — you can’t even imagine the sense of balance that control will give you.

I’m amazed at people who don’t know what they’re doing with their money. You drag you sorry butt out of bed every day to go earn some money, but you won’t spend some time keeping track of it? Really? During book tour for Never Too Late I met a heap of bodies that told me, “I have no idea if I’m on track with my retirement savings.” Really? You don’t know? So, who would know?

As for all the people who want to blame someone else for their mess: the credit card companies charge too much interest, the bank lent me too much money,  I wouldn’t use overdraft if I didn’t have it… OMG! Quitcherbitchin’ and fix the mess you made. No one MADE you shop on credit. And no one is making you stay stuck in the muck you’re in… except YOU.

What is it about money exactly that leaves us throwing up our arms in total surrender? Or choose to close our eyes, roll over and play dead? Why would a reasonable human being who knows that they need to make more money sit on their couch and whine about not having enough? And what is it that makes people think that there’s an easy way out of a big pile of debt poop?

I’ve seen people whine about how much debt they have in one breath, and then in the next tell me about the kitchen reno they’re planning, the vacation they just took, or the really great deal they just got on whatever it is they just bought. Talk about disconnected.

Until we recognize that WE are in charge of our money, that we decide how to make it, spend it and save it, we are always going to be looking for some kind of magic solution. I’m convinced that’s why so many people leap into investments they neither understand nor are prepared to research: they’re looking for an easy way to make lotsnlotsa money to solve all the problems they’ve created for themselves by ignoring the basics of managing their money.

I’ve you’ve ever said, “That’s just too much work,” or “It isn’t worth all that effort to keep a budget” or “Debt is just the way life is” then you’re exactly the person I’m talking to.

Until you accept that YOU are in charge, and only YOU can take the steps required to make things different, you will always be a mess of can’ts and I-wishes.  Yes you can. And you’d be way better off expending some of that energy your wasting on wishing on actually DOING something.

Too bad. And NOT TRUE.

We each have the ability to create a life that works for us. When we feel helpless and incapable of changing our circumstances, we’re letting Yertle have the last say.

Yertle the Turtle likes his pond and he rules it well, at first. But power corrupts, and Yertle’s desire to rise higher and higher makes him build his throne up, up, up, on the backs of his fellow turtles.

People see this as a story about tyranny and social justice. I like to look at it as a story about how one guy – the turtle on the bottom, a fellow named Mack – decides to take control and change his life. Tired of being squashed into the mud by Yertle’s obsessions, the little Atlas shrugs. Actually, Mack burps.

That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack,
Decided he’d taken enough. And he had.
And that plain little lad got a bit mad.
And that plain little Mack did a plain little thing.
He burped! And his burp shook the throne of the king!

Like the little turtle on the bottom of the stack, you have the option of staying in the game and just being a stepping stone to someone else’s dream-come-true, or shaking off the yoke of complacency and creating a new reality for yourself.

So often just going with the flow seems so much easier. And for all the folks who don’t like to cause waves, just sucking it up feels like the safe way to live life. But safe isn’t always best. And sometimes getting a little mad is a good thing if it creates the motivation for you to change what you don’t like about your life.

Not everyone is cut out to be a king. Not everyone wants to be a king. But not being a king doesn’t mean you have to be someone else’s pawn. You can be king of your own world, master of your own future.

If you hate your job, hate your husband or wife, hate your life, then change it. Get a little mad. Figure out what you do want and then figure out how to get there. There are no extra points for being long-suffering or a martyr. Doormats get stepped on. If you want to have a different life, you must do something different. Go ahead, burp!

————–

I’d like to add a new section to the website next year. In it, I’d like to feature 5 people as they journey through their financial lives. If you’d like to share you journey and you fit into one of the following categories, please send me a sample of your writing, and let me know if you’re prepared to commit to writing one blog per week for six months. I’ll be judging based on the samples I get, so make sure you’re on topic, witty and an interesting read. Here are the categories I’m looking for:

• A student who is still in school
• A stay-at-home mom or dad who is tasked with managing the family’s finances
• A single person who is trying to keep work and life in balance, while achieving a specific goal
• A working mom or dad who is part of a double-income family with kids
• A body who is about to retire and is getting ready to make the transition

This isn’t a paid gig. (I maintain this website as a labour of love… my give-back.) You’re doing this to a) establish yourself as a writer, b) share your experiences with others, or c) get some feedback from the folks here. If you’re interested, please send your contact info along with your sample to getgvo@gmail.com with the word WRITER in the subject line. Once I’ve short-listed potential writers, I’ll give you a call to chat, so include your phone number and email address in your contact info please.

Hunches in Bunches is all about a lad who simply can’t make up his mind. He meets a number of Hunches – the Very Odd Hunch, the Homework Hunch, the Four-Way Hunch, the Sour Hunch, and the Nowhere Hunch – each of which has its own opinion. The boy becomes so confused he freezes.

That’s how a lot of people feel when it comes to making decisions about what to do with their money. With differing opinions on which way is the right way, no way is where we go.

Let’s take the example of life insurance. One side of the argument says permanent life insurance is a waste of money. The other side says term insurance is a rip-off. And there you sit in the middle. As the protagonist in Hunches of Bunches says, “The trouble is I had a mind, but I couldn’t make it up.” Not surprising since every argument seems to carry as much weight as the next.

Can I tell you there’s no one right answer for everyone, which is why all the alternatives out there exist. Permanent is right for some people. Term is right for others. And what you must do is figure out what’s right for you.

The same holds true for the RRSP vs the TFSA debate; yes an RRSP is the single best retirement savings vehicle in Canada, expect when it doesn’t work for YOU. It isn’t about one size fits all when it comes to money. It’s about creating the custom fit that’s just right for you. And you have to be careful not to be so influenced by all the Hunches out there that you end up like One Duck Stuck in the Muck: unable to move in any direction.

While you don’t want those Hunches to boss you around, you should listen to your instincts. Don’t be too quick to follow them, but don’t ignore them completely. Instead ask yourself, “Why did I think that” or “why do I feel this way?” And listen to your little voice’s answer.

Make sure you know all your alternatives when you’re trying to make a decision. Make a list and check it twice. Write down all the options you have available.

Know what you know; find out what you don’t know. You can’t make a sound decision if you’re ignorant of the issues, rules, upsides and downsides. Go back to your list of alternatives and identify the pros and cons of each potential action you can take.

Take your time. Put away your list for a couple of days and then come back to it. (You have to come back to it or you’re procrastinating yourself out of the decision.) A little distance will put some perspective on the decision you have to make.

Then make the damn decision. Ultimately, you must take some action. Endlessly analyzing and agonizing won’t get you closer to a solution. Action will.

If you think talking to your kids about money is tough, try it with your parents. It is amazing just how resistant mommies and daddies can be when it comes to sharing their financial information with their kiddies. Even if those kiddies are all growed up and managing their own money just fine. But you’ll do your parents a disservice if you stick you head in the sand on this one. So here are five questions you’ll want to talk to your folks about.

1. Do you have a Will and Powers of Attorney for both money and personal care? This isn’t about what’s in the Will, it’s about making sure there’s one in place. And if your folks haven’t given any thought to how they’ll pass on their assets in the most tax-friendly way, it’s time to seek help from an estates expert. As for the PoA… this is a vital document as parents get older. If they become incapable of managing their own money or of making decisions about their health care, someone needs to be able to step in and do what is best for them.

2. Where are all your financial documents? That’s the Will, the PoAs, the insurance policies, the bank account statements, the safe deposit box, the investment statements. It’s EVERYTHING. Suggest that you parents make a list of all the important account numbers and where they are located. If they are concerned about privacy, they can put it in a sealed envelope and leave it with their lawyer or in their safe deposit box, providing someone knows where the document is being kept.

3. Have you made funeral arrangements? We all have different wishes for how we’ll be disposed of. Me, I just want to be baked and mixed in with the flowers. Alex knows. It’s not just in my Will because I may have to be planted before she ever gets to the Will. So she knows. You should too.

4. Have you got any long-term care insurance? No matter how much you love your folks, having them move in because they need constant care can be a tough road to walk. Take it from me. I’ve been there. If your parents don’t have any LTC insurance, do they have enough money in their pot to pay for help when they need it?

5. Do you need help with your money now? This may be as much an observation thing as a question. If bills are lying around unpaid, you have your answer. If your parent(s) keep buying stuff they don’t need, that can be a sign too. You can ask the question, but very often parents who need help will deny there’s a problem. So you may have to do some Sherlocking to see if there are problems.

Talking to your folks about money may be tough. And it may not work the first time you try. But you should persist. Not knowing is worse than the push back you may get. If parents adamantly refuse to share, well, you’ve done your best.

The two main characters in this book are Sam, and a second fellow who is never named. Sam is determined to get his friend to try “green eggs and ham”. His friend won’t agree to try the delicacy Sam is offering… not in a box, not with a fox, not in a boat, not with a goat, not with a mouse, not in a house, “I will not eat them here or there. I will not eat them anywhere.”

Ah, the closed mind; so many people have one. And it may be the biggest barrier to doing things differently. If the things you’re doing right now aren’t working for ya, it’s time to open up your mind and try some green eggs and ham, dontcha think?

This little book of just 50 words (yah, there are only 50 unique words in the entire book) has a bunch of themes goin’ on. There’s the unwillingness of Sam’s friend to try something new. There’s Sam’s patience and tenacity in presenting the green eggs and ham over and over and over. Eventually Sam wears down his friend who agrees to try green eggs and ham.

You know the punch line: “I do so like green eggs and ham. Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am”

I run into closed minds all the time when I’m doing my shows. People get so used to things being as the are that they can’t imagine them being any other way and are unwilling to even try. I make ‘em. Yup, I push them hard (Oh you’re so MEAN Gail!) and make them behave differently. That’s what the challenges are all about.

Our unwillingness to believe things can be different is one reason partners have so much difficulty convincing their other halves that it’s their behaviour that’s the problem. That drive-through coffee is no biggie right? It’s just a cup of coffee. But if it’s a cup of coffee twice a day at $1.45 a pop, that’s why there’s no money in the bank account when it comes time to pay the telephone bill.

Since people imagine that things will always be as they currently are, they can’t imagine that they could actually DO something different to get a different outcome. But that’s all it takes. Sure, the idea of making a budget sounds like putting on concrete shoes, but until you’ve tried it – really tried it, not just faked it so it would fail – you don’t know the freedom you can feel by knowing exactly where your money is going.

If you haven’t done a spending analysis yet, if you haven’t made a budget, if you have laid out a debt-repayment plan on paper, maybe it’s time to try some green eggs and ham. Hey, you might like them.

Sometimes when we think we’re having money problems, it isn’t actually the money that’s the problem. Sometimes we make enough money. But we’re so stuck in our boxes we can’t figure out how to use our money in more productive ways to achieve the life we want.

If your life isn’t working for you, if you’re in debt and can’t get out, or if you’re working on something and feel like you’re spinning your wheels, you need to take a page from Dr. Seuss.  The narrator who isn’t happy with the restrictions of the ordinary alphabet, invents a whole new one that pushes past normal to where the imagination can take flight.

Maybe that’s what you need to do too… push beyond the conventions with which you are familiar to try something new. Course, that’ll mean thinking for yourself; some people are too afraid of messing up to do that.  But if you can be brave, if you can push past “normal” to see all the possibilities beyond, you may find the very thing you need to make the very life you want.

We actually like the idea of thinking outside the box. You know the magazine Real Simple, don’t you? They have a very popular segment where they feature new uses for old things. From using shower curtain rings to store scarves, to using paper towel tubes to keep plastic bags under control, Real Simple’s idea is to think outside the box… to go On Beyond Zebra! The segment is popular probably because someone else did the thinking and has come up with create solutions we can all use. Hey, it’s time to start thinking for yourself.

One of the keys to being able to move On Beyond Zebra! Is to spend some quality time alone with your brain. Some people don’t like this idea at all. It scares them to spend time thinking. But if you can filter out the noise of your life, and give yourself some time to think, it’s amazing what you can come up with.

Find a quiet place. Relax. You’re not trying to force ideas, you’re going to let your mind wonder. Make sure you have a notebook and pen handy for jotting down notes as you do this exercise. Keep an open mind. If you’ve already decided there’s no solution to whatever problem you’re dealing with, you’re stuck at Z. Be willing to try things that may not work. You might come up with simple solutions to other questions you’ve been noodling.

Ready to think outside the box?

Answer this: SO. What colour is her blouse?

It may not make sense to you at first. But the answer is in there. Go On Beyond Zebra! to find it!

Learning to go On Beyond Zebra! isn’t going to happen overnight. You’ve got to have some patience and keep trying new things. It’ll be worth it.  If you’re stuck in a box, it’s time to move! All that’s stopping you is YOU. And a little practice.

BTW: The answer to the question above is BLUE. Can you see why? Were you able to move On Beyond Zebra!?

How about if your hours at work get cut back or your partner get’s sick? You do have an emergency fund, right? Nope?

Or disability insurance? Not that either, eh?

No will? Well, hey, you’re probably never going to die.

Being out of debt does not mean you’re financially healthy. Having all your financial bases covered does. And you’d think the smart people would know that, wouldn’t you? After all, if you don’t have an emergency fund, if you don’t have disability insurance, if you aren’t saving for the long term, then it is only a matter of time until something you haven’t planned for pops up and pushes you out of balance.

With no emergency fund is it your plan to use credit to see you through? All the smarty-pants who are telling you to get a line of credit and use it as an emergency fund would have you believe that this is a viable option. But when use credit because you couldn’t defer your immediate gratification long enough to balance your financial plan, you’re asking for trouble. Voilá, you’re back in debt and scratching your head. And even if life throws you a curveball – hey, life throws plenty of curveballs — if you have to use credit to cope, will your next challenge be coping with the debt repayment. AGAIN!

The only way to find balance is to be able to hold more than one thought in your head at the same time… actually four thoughts, that’s all:

1. Don’t spend more money than you make, so no credit card or line of credit balances, and no overdraft
2. Save something; how much depends on how old you are and how much you’ve already saved (Read Never Too Late)
3. Get your debt paid off; consumer debt first (Read Debt-Free Forever)
4. Mitigate your risks with an emergency fund and enough of the right kinds of insurance.

Four simple rules. Not too much to keep in mind. Not too hard to understand. Taken individually, you can create a war with each rule fighting for territory and winning only at the detriment of the others. Taken together you can build a rock-solid financial foundation. Which would you rather?