There are ways to have fun without it costing an arm and a leg. Why not invite friends over for a clean-out-the-fridge party. Everyone brings their leftovers and you act like it’s a Chinese food fiesta, nibbling on bits of this and that as you gab about the week and catch up on the gossip.

If you’re towing kids, consider hosting a game night. You can make bucketsful of popcorn for very little money. Add some homemade iced tea, and you can play Monopoly, Scrabble or Charades all night. Each family can bring its favourite game, you can drop the game names into a hat and pick randomly to see what you’ll be doing first.

Want to wear those kids out before bed so the ‘rents can watch a movie and sip some wine? Get ‘em outside. A game of flashlight tag, gathering leaves for a spring tree paste-up, or blowing bubbles and feeding the ducks are great ways to fill their lungs with fresh air and wear ‘em out. Suggest impromptu races with rewards (like gummie worms) for all the runners when they hit the finish line.

If you’re leading the single life, start a tradition. Invite a bunch of friends over for competitive Scrabble or poker night. Each person brings a libation and nibbly to share with the group. See how easy?

Challenge yourself to be more mindful of your money on weekends. Think twice before blowing your budget on those days when watching your wallet isn’t necessarily top of mind. You can have fun on the cheap and head into the week cheerful because you stayed on track and still have money left in your entertainment jar.

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Zsanett in Winnipeg wants to know if there are any “financially awoken followers, here in Winnipeg and area who would be interested in getting together and discuss and share their stories.” If you’re interested send an email to getgvo@gmail.com with Zsanette in the subject line and I’ll forward on to her.

Are you scratching your head at the word “metrosexual?” It’s a neologism created from combining metropolitan and heterosexual, and was coined in the mid 1990s to describe straight men who spend a lot of time and money on their appearance.

Ms Salzman has a keen eye as a trendspotter.  Through focus groups, market research and surveys, she’s got her fingers on the pulse of what’s hot and what’s not.

According to Ms. Salzman, with the housing market treading water and people retreating inward, the next hot trends in home furnishings will be focused on soothing us. She says that big on the homefront is American West–inspired décor.  The last time this trend came around, I was awash in Navaho prints, peach and mint green. Let’s hope this time pastels need not apply.

Both wood and pottery are key in a Southwest flavoured décor. Tile, particularly Mexican tile, infused with bright colours and intricate design is front and centre. If you want to add a little Southwest to your room, look for handmade pottery that reflects the traditions of the Native American tribes to add an earthy ambiance. You can incorporate it in lamp bases or in wall art. Ditto turquoise stones, coral and seashells. (A bathroom is a fine place to start to create the feel of the Southwest without a whole hog change in décor.)

“On the other side of the home décor coin, many designers are having a fling with glamorous Palm Springs,” says Ms. Salzman.  Look for colours such as aquamarine and tangerine. Clean modern lines, lots of white, Lucite, glass, marble and leather are combined to create an airy, cool oasis.

Salzman says that the conscious home is another trend that will be big this year. We’ll be eco-friend and health-minded, focusing on things like indoor air quality. Living walls are becoming very popular because the plants remove toxins from the air. My home is jammed full of green plants (at last count I had 37 plants in my office alone, including a huge banana tree.) I’ve been toying with the idea of a plant wall, but can’t figure out where to put it.

You would build a living wall from plants that absorb and filter out airborne toxins. All plants are able to remove toxins, but some plants are better at it like azalea, bamboo palm, chrysanthemum, spider plant, aloe vera, English ivy, elephant ear philodendron, and peace lily. Succulents have a big visual impact. Ferns look lush and tropical. Make sure you choose plants that will live in the light you have. Since different plants remove different types of toxins, use a variety. The structure you use can be as simple as a wall hanger that will house a variety of pots, to an “earth canvas” on which you can plant directly. Here’s a youtube video talking about creating a living wall: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvjWW3btbYs. Lots of ideas here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=YXm3HfomW1w.

One way in which scam artists maximize their profits is to focus on vulnerable target groups. So while you might think that call you received was made randomly, a lot of research and methodology went into choosing your telephone number. Elderly Canadians, with their polite ways and trusting natures, are prime targets. Past victims are also likely to show up on “sucker lists”.

It’s unfortunate that all the reputable charities that do such fine work and are worthy of support are brushed with the tar of imposter charities. It makes it difficult for people to discern the honest from the hucksters. But by being aware that scams exist, and by taking some simple steps, you can eliminate the success of these tricksters.

Do not deal with a charitable organization you do not know or whose reputation is not widely established.

Watch for “sound-alike” charities: the names seem remarkably similar, but the call to action is urgent or seasonally related.

Watch for “badge-related” fraud. Often scammers call falsely representing local police, fire or other public service providers. From widows’ and orphans’ funds to the need for more bullet-proof vests, unsuspecting victims fork over thousands of dollars for non-existent local charities.

Find out more before you give: how will your money be used? Where does the charity operate? What’s the address and telephone number of the charity? Who are the people involved.

Don’t give on the spot. While telemarketers may exert a lot of pressure for an immediate donation, don’t succumb. Reputable charities will send you information by mail and allow you time to do some research. Once you’ve found out more about the charity, you can then decide whether you wish to contribute.

If you receive a call for support of a local agency, ask for information in writing before you ante up with your contribution.

Never give personal financial information — your bank account number, credit card number — on the telephone. Ask for an address and send a cheque.

If the caller refuses to take “no” for an answer, just hang up.

Seniors are particularly susceptible. Scam artists know that elderly people who live alone are the easiest to deceive. Having been deceived, these people are often reluctant to report the crime to the authorities. They may even avoid telling you or other family members for fear of being seen as incompetent in the management of their financial affairs.

If you think someone you know has fallen prey to a telephone scam, the last thing you should do is criticize. That serves no useful purpose and puts your friend or family member on the defensive. Instead, try to gather as much information as you can about the call and discuss how to avoid future deceptions. And if your loved-one has made it to a “hot list” an unlisted telephone number might be the only solution to a barrage of calls designed to wear down their resistance.

Helping kids create expectations you can manage is an important part of learning about how to make the most of what you have, as opposed to always wanting more, More, MORE. Suggest your kids make a list of four or five things they’d like as gifts. Make it clear that it isn’t your intent to buy everything on the list, but they’ll get at least one or two things. Now your children know what they can expect and it isn’t the world. And you can create a shopping list that fits within your budget.

Toys and electronics are often at the top of kids’ lists and tend to be big money-eaters. But there’s no need to hit a fancy toy store or high-priced electronics store to make magic. Your little mites won’t wonder how much you paid for that bucketful of Lego you found at the garage sale. And who cares if Barbie doesn’t come in a fancy package if she does comes with a boxful of clothes, all from a local toy-trade.  Many electronic stores have refurbished options that are a fraction of the cost of buying new. Shopping smart leaves you room in your holiday or birthday budget for the little extras that will make the day special.

During the year you can establish your own toy-trade to keep your kids’ toy-chests fresh and interesting. Meet once a month for a play-date with a few friends and each bring five toys you’re prepared to trade. Now your kids have new, interesting playthings that didn’t tap your budget.

Clothing is another of those kid categories where you can blow a fortune or save big-time. Second-hand and thrift shops are great places to score brand name clothes in good condition. But whether you’re Christmas shopping or getting ready for back-to-school, first, start with a list.

Keep an inventory of what your kids have and what they will soon need so you’re in a position to spot a bargain as you’re browsing. If you come across a great deal and it isn’t on your list, walk away unless you have plenty of money to spare. With kids growing at record speed, it’s unlikely that the clothes you buy will wear out before they are out-grown. Taking your child’s used clothes to a second-hand store is a great way to build up credits for when you need to get Little Missy a new leotard for dance class.

Whether you use coupons or not, there are many ways that you can save money during the holidays.

The important thing to remember is that holidays are about memories, they are not about spending money. So spend wisely on the things that are most important and don’t worry so much about the rest.

Following are a few ways that you can easily save during the holiday season.

Potluck Meals. This is one of my favourite ways to save money when it comes to entertaining, holidays or not. The host or hostess should provide the meat (if you are serving meat) and then ask each guest to bring one food or drink item to your party.

One family/guest can bring mashed potatoes and gravy, another can bring corn on the cob, someone else can bring a dessert, and so on. Ask what everyone’s preference is before you assign dishes, as some people are more comfortable preparing some dishes over others.

If you want to serve alcohol at your party, make it a BYOB (bring your own booze) event. The stuff isn’t cheap, so don’t take on the full financial load yourself.

Rotate Dinners. If you usually have a Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner at your home every year, consider rotating. One year dinner is at your place, the next year it’s at your parents’, the next it’s at your in-laws’. Doing this means that you don’t have to tackle throwing a party every single year, which not only saves you money, but time as well.

If you’re adamant about having yearly holiday parties, I encourage you to at least have potluck meals, to help with the food bill.

Purchase Gifts Throughout The Year. One way that we save a ton of money on Christmas and birthday gifts is to purchase things throughout the year. Remember, stores have yearly sales cycles that are not just focused around food, but also clothing, bedding, kitchen items, and more. When these sales happen and you see something that you think someone on your gift list would enjoy, buy it while it’s dirt-cheap and then stash it until you need a gift for that person.

On boxing day and a few weeks after Christmas, you can find a ton of items on clearance that you can pick up for birthdays or for next year’s Christmas. Stores want so clear out inventory to make room for next year’s styles, so things like toys, clothing and Christmas decor are always on sale for extremely low prices. It really is my favourite time of year to go shopping for gifts!

Saving money during the holidays is really simple if you just focus on what’s important – family, friends and the love you share with all of them.

How do you save money during the holidays?

This is your last chance to win a copy of Cassie Howard’s eBook Money In Your Pocket? Leave a comment on this post, letting us all know how you save money during the holidays. The final winner will be drawn this week.  This contest is available to residents of Canada only.

1. My number one use for Styrofoam is as the bottom layer in my large planters. You’re supposed to put rocks and stones and stuff in for drainage, but Styrofoam works just as well and is way lighter so if I want to move those pots around, I don’t break my back. Did I mention that it’s free?

2. Large pieces are great for creating stamps for kids. Use a cookie cutter. Cut the shape out. Pour some paint in a tray and let your child stamp away. Make a set for your local kindergarten or daycare centre.

3. Use Styrofoam egg cartons as a seedling starter or to house golf balls. When the kids were small, I used to use them as paint containers. I’d buy my kids’ paints in large bottles and then pour a little of each colour into the egg carton wells, leaving a few empty so the kids could mix their own colours.

4. You can also use those cartons to keep craft supplies neat and tidy.

5. Decorate and create a sewing kit for a youn’un leaving home. You can put replacement buttons, pins, needles, thread, snaps, elastic, and a rolled-up measuring tape into each of the wells.

6. Use Styrofoam veggie trays to insulate the inside of a doghouse or other outdoor structure that you want to insulate. (Don’t use inside your home because they are highly flammable.)

7. If you’re a boater, threading some packing peanuts onto your key chain will ensure it doesn’t sink when it falls into the water.

8. Use packing peanuts or Styrofoam blocks that have been broken up to stuff an old pillowcase and you’ve got a pet bed for Kitty or Poochie.

9. Use as a craft supply. You can make caterpillars, ladybugs and tulips from egg cartons. You can use trays as the backdrops for pictures. (Don’t reuse trays that held meat or chicken.) You can stick straight pins loaded with beads into Styrofoam shapes to make ornaments for Valentine’s Day and Christmas.

Okay, your turn. What do you do with your Styrofoam?

I have known some cheap people. They are the folks who show up at a party with two bottles of beer and then drink a dozen. They are the ones who leave the tax and tipping to every one else at the table. Hey, nobody likes a tightwad, which is why jokes about being cheap make us laugh. Ever hear the one about being tighter than paper on the wall? How about the one about squeezing a nickel ‘til the beaver poops!

Thrifty is a whole ‘nother matter. Once upon a time, thrift was considered something good. And life may be turning in that direction again. There are a couple of cities in the U.S. that have recently celebrated Thrift Weeks. And our focus on doing good for the environment (recycling, using reusable shopping bags, conserving energy) is thrifty.

Benjamin Franklin was an apostle of thrift. He’s famous for it and has left behind pithy little sayings like, ““Waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both.” Your grandparents may not be famous, but they knew how to be thrifty too. With lots of kids, far fewer financial resources, and NO CREDIT, they had to find ways to make do.

They actually did better than make do… they had good lives. Did you know that the root of the word “thrift” is “thrive?” If you’ve been erroneously associating thrift with being cheap, you need to reorient your thinking. It isn’t about being stingy. It’s about building prosperity through careful management of resources. It isn’t about being miserly. It’s about embracing a way of life that lets ordinary people have a good life while they save and share.

Happily people seem to be shrugging off the “cheap” label and enjoying the idea of thrift. With the scare of an economy that tilted precariously to recession, some people decided to embrace their thrift and take better care of their pennies.

I’ll willingly admit to being thrifty.  The way I do this (mostly) is by not spending money on crap I don’t need. If I need a lipstick, I buy a lipstick. I don’t have 30 lipsticks sitting in purses and drawers. If I want a new pair of shoes, I buy a new pair of shoes, but it’s usually because I’m getting rid of a pair that’s worn out, not because I’m adding to my “collection.”

I hate throwing out food.  I despise feeling like I’ve wasted my money on something because I didn’t think about the purchase carefully. So I don’t make myself feel bad. I do the thrifty thing and stay on the right side of my demons.  I won’t drive around to find cheap gas or to buy stuff on special, but I do know which stations have the best price, and I will plan my shopping around something on sale that’s on my list.

How do you demonstrate your thriftiness? Do you know folks who are truly cheap? What’s your favorite tip for using your resources to your advantage?

Alright, so now we’ve got our budget all set up and ready to go. How do we stay focused and committed to it? How do we work together as a couple and stay on the same page? How are we able to pay off all the bills on a relatively modest income?

While we live very comfortably and don’t feel restricted or limited by our budget, we are relatively careful spenders. We know our priorities and we don’t nickel and dime on those things, but for the things that aren’t priorities, we shop around for the best deals and we limit our spending in those categories. Let me use an example. For us, one big priority is where we live. Neighbourhood, safety, space (and closet space) and the condition of our apartment are very important to me, so we chose to live in a place with high rent. People balk at what we pay in rent and ask why we “waste” our money on it, but then I look at them and wonder why they “waste” their money on buying lunch each day instead of bringing their own, buying daily coffees, or going out to bars and buying drinks for $5 a piece. I wonder why people pay sometimes double the price for the exact same product at Loblaws instead of No Frills just because the interior of the store may be a bit nicer or because it has a certain reputation. I wonder why people spend $100 on pants when they could buy them second hand for $15.

But hey, everyone has their own priorities. The point is, you need to choose a few priorities; you can’t make everything a priority. So for us, we spend a little extra on rent, we go to an expensive vet for our cats because it’s a convenient location and has great hours, and as avid runners, we buy the best shoes that work for us without so much as looking at the price tag. Those are just a few examples but you get the idea. Budgeting doesn’t mean you can’t ever spend to get what you really want, you just can’t do it all the time. To balance these things, we take lunch to work each day, we get just weekend delivery of the paper instead of daily, and we buy some of our groceries in bulk and some of our clothes second hand.

It’s because of being able to differentiate between these priorities, being able to know what will actually make a difference to our happiness and what won’t, that we’ve been able to set a budget that is easy to live on without feeling constrained. In fact, sticking to our budget has not only been easy, it’s been fun! That’s because we’ve made it a hobby of ours by finding software we enjoy using to manage it. Some people may like best to use simple pen and paper, or an excel spreadsheet. But for us, we make it almost a game by using a program called MoneyWell (and that’s just one example, there are plenty out there and I’ve heard particularly good things about a web application called Mint) where we can set up “buckets” (these work just like the jars on ‘Til Debt Do Us Part), record our spending, and get fun little graphs to show us how close we are to reaching our maximum allowance in each category for the month. I won’t get into the details of all the great features MoneyWell has, but the point is, we don’t think of it as a chore. In fact, I enjoy the challenge of sticking to a budget and checking up on myself to see how well we’re doing. Find what it is that will make budgeting and tracking your spending enjoyable for you.

One last piece of advice: No matter how much you get into the groove and start actually looking forward to managing your finances, things are bound to happen. So, keep it as easy and simple for yourself as possible, and make contributing to your savings automatic. For us, this means having reminders on my calendar that pop up once a month to say “Deposit money into RRSP”. For people with less discipline, it might mean having an actual direct deposit set up on your bank accounts that moves your money into your RRSP each month whether you like it or not. Only you know yourself best and know how much guidance you’ll need.

But, there’s one thing that’s for sure. You’re not too young to be in control of your finances, and your future. So go grab a book, learn a little something, put it into action, walk with your head held high, and make sure to have fun while you’re at it.

Before I start getting self-righteous and telling you how easy and simple it is to be financially stable in your twenties, let me start off by saying I know I’ve been very lucky. I’ve been raised since day one to be organized and to be a planner. It’s ingrained in my personality and is reflected not just in how I manage my finances, but in all aspects of my life. I also lived at home during university, so I graduated and moved out on my own with no student loans or debt to pay off, and could start putting aside savings right away. My partner and I were also fortunate to move in together soon after graduating. We were showered with graduation gifts – whether purchased or hand-me-downs — from relatives, which helped us furnish our new home together on a dime, again allowing us to start putting any extra income we had to savings right away.

That being said, I’d still like to give ourselves a bit of credit for the fact that at the age of 26 and after having been on our own for just over two years, we’ve got an established emergency fund, no debt, established vacation savings that allow for 1-2 nice trips each year, and plenty saved for a down payment on a home. On top of that we max out our RRSPs and TFSAs each year.

So how do we do it? Or more importantly, how can you do it? How can you stay focused on managing your finances, saving some money for the future and still enjoy life in the here and now?

If I could give one overarching piece of advice, no matter what your personality or how far you want to take your budgeting process, it’s to have pride and confidence in the fact that you manage your finances well and that it’s a priority for you. Don’t be ashamed to do things that you might think make you look “cheap” or “uptight”. Just like on Gail’s shows, we track everything we spend, and I mean everything. That means that when I pay for a loaf of bread that costs me $2.75 and there’s a line of people behind me, I ask for a receipt. Sure, it feels embarrassing sometimes but I don’t give a damn. I ask for it anyways because it’s easier for me to get home with all my receipts than to sit down and try to remember each place I stopped at and how much I spent. It also means that if a friend asks us to go out for dinner when we’ve already spent all the money in our budget for dining out that month, I say, “We can’t next week, but why don’t we make a date for sometime in February?”  Do what works for you and do it without apology.

But how did we even get to this point where we have this budget set and we sit down routinely and track our spending? It’s very simple actually: We read books, asked questions, and took advice. Really, there are people who do these sorts of things professionally for a reason. Once again, this relates back to taking pride in engaging in the topic and not being ashamed to ask for help. My partner and I are big fans of ‘Til Debt Do Us Part, and we learned a lot from there. But before we even moved out of our parents’ homes, we read books on saving, investing and budgeting, and we took the advice they offered. We simply followed their instructions, which were, well, simple.  Set up a budget. Pay yourself first by putting aside savings each month. Take advantage of RRSPs. Think about investing to grow your savings.

We took advice not only from the experts, but also from relatives with their own unique experiences. We knew we wanted to adopt pets once we were settled in, so we included a pet category in our budget. But it wasn’t arbitrary. I asked my mom how much she spent annually, on average, on vet bills and food for our family dog, Heidi, and we divided that number by 12 and used that as a starting point. I knew that my uncle was also responsible in managing his finances and kept a budget, so I asked him to send me his so that I could see the various budget categories he had.

Tomorrow: Part Two of Barbi’s Story

Not only are Swap Parties a great way to save money, they are eco-friendly falling under the “reuse” category of the 3-Rs. And all kinds of things can be swapped.

Baked goods and frozen meals. If you have a group of girlfriends who love to cook, why not start a dinner and dessert swap. Each of you makes something you’re particularly good at. You stick one in your own freezer and then bring a half-dozen to the Swap Party. Bring a sample for everyone to try. You can go home with six new things for your freezer. I’m more likely to swap my savoury for someone else’s sweet because I’m not much of a baker.  You can also do this with home-made jams and pickles to broaden your inventory.

Cards, wrapping paper, bags, and other stationary. People always seem to have a ton of this kind of stuff hanging around. As long as you take home only as much as you bring to the party, everything comes out fair. If, for example, you decide to swap cards, you arrive with your contribution and stick ‘em in a couple of boxes and the passing around begins. If you brought 10 cards, you can take 10 new cards from the box.

DVDs, CDs, books and games. Have a bunch of games sitting on the shelf gathering dust? Done watching those movies? Time to put New to You to work. There’s nothing more satisfying that getting a new set of DVDs or books that are new to you without having to spend a cent. Hey, it’s a little like shopping second hand, but cheaper. If there’s stuff left over at the end of the night, one person can take it all to the local library.

Clothing. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom who is just re-entering the workforce, or you’re simply looking to change up your style a bit, a clothing swap can work if the people involved are all of a similar size. Or maybe you want to swap clothes because you’ve gained or lost weight, in which case you’ll want multiple sizes at your party!  If you’re off-size, you can still play if your clothing swap includes accessories. Or maybe you want to focus on the one-wear outfits that have been hanging dejectedly in your closet. Think of all those outfits you bought for weddings or other parties that you haven’t ever worn again. Swap ‘em and have some fun.

Toys and baby gear. Getting together with moms is a great way to offer new-to-you toys to your kids. You each bring a couple of toys your kids no longer play with to the party, swap, and go home with something fresh and enticing for your young’un. Ditto clothes your kids may have outgrown.

You can have a swap party for anything you and your friends have similar interests in: plants, seeds, and perennials are great for gardeners in the spring. Recipes (with accompanying samples) and coupons work in the fall when the focus moves back to nesting. Scrapbookers can swap supplies. Sewers, knitters, quilters can share patterns.

Swap parties can be a great way to not only stretch your budget, but have some fun too. And if each invitee brings a guest along, it can also be a terrific way to make new friends.

1. Keep one in your sewing drawer or basket and you can stick anything sharp into it instead of leaving those stabby ends loose.

2. Add them to the bottom of a planter instead of rocks or stones to provide drainage. Your pots and planters will be a lot lighter when you want to move them around.

3. Grind them up and add them to the soil for plants that require a lot of moisture. The cork will help the soil remain moist, and this is a lot cheaper than those granules that you can buy for the same purpose. It also won’t add unwanted chemicals to edible plants like basil and rosemary.

4. Slice the cork and use it to put on the bottom of your furniture to stop your furniture from scratching your floors when you move it around.

5. Cut a slit in the cork lengthways, but not all the way through, and use the cork as a place setting card holder. You’ll have to flatten one edge so that the cork doesn’t roll. Glue two corks together and one more on top for more height.

6. Make an inexpensive cork board by gluing a bunch of corks together. To get fancy, find an old picture (at a garage sale) and glue the corks within the frame using the picture as the backing.

7. Make a trivet by gluing a bunch of corks together in a pattern and shape that works with your ovenware. Cork trivets are both furniture and dish friendly.

8. Make a cork mud mat for wet boots. Here’s a Youtube link.

9. Make a cat toy by sticking in feathers and attaching a string. Hang your creation from a doorknob and watch your cat bat away with pleasure.

10. Attach them to anything you need to float, from bath toys to fishing lines.

Okay, your turn. What do you do with your corks?

According to the CAA, it costs about $9,000 a year to drive a mid-sized car 24,000 km a year.  If you’re driving a van, your costs jump to about $12,000 a year. While some costs are fixed if you own your own vehicle – insurance, license, registration, depreciation and the car loan payments – many relate to how much you drive. The CAA’s fuel estimate was based on 81¢ a km, which I haven’t seen in quite some time. And there’s the cost of maintaining your horse and changing its shoes. Never mind what you might be paying for parking or in toll charges.

If your commute is causing you no end of stress and putting a strain on your budget, you might want to think about carpooling. You’ll not only have some social interaction on your drive, but you can share the strain of driving by taking turns, and you’ll lessen the burden on the environment. You’ll also be able to share those high-occupancy vehicle (HOV) lanes that are designated for multi-passenger vehicles. Since 80% of commuters travel solo, these HOV lanes often move faster than a general traffic lane.

So how do you go about finding a body to share your ride? Check at work to see if there’s anyone in your building who has the same idea. Check in your neighbourhood to see if someone else is going your way.  Or click on www.carpool.ca to match yourself with a ride-sharing companion.  There are other ride-share programs that may be provincially based, or based on a particular city, but carpool.ca is the only national site I was able to find.

It’s easy to use. Fill in your commuting info, days you work, hours, and personal preferences (smoking in a car would not work for me).  You’ll be given a bunch of potential matches. Keep in mind that if you’re in an outlying area, you may have to drive part of the way to a commuter area to catch your ride.

There are some Do’s and Don’ts about playing the carpooling game.

Do agree on reimbursement costs in advance unless you’re taking turns.

Don’t be late. Decide ahead of time how long you’ll wait, though in this day of cell phones I can’t imagine why anyone would be rude enough to not call ahead.

Do have a back-up plan. Everyone should have everyone else’s work and cell numbers. You never know when an emergency (a sick child, a mechanical problem, an illness) will throw a spanner in the works.

Don’t stop. The golden rule of carpooling is to go from one point to the other. No stopping for groceries, to pick up drycleaning, or to drop off a pressie at your cousin’s house because you forgot her birthday. Do that crap on your own time.

Do have enough liability insurance. At least a cool mil is recommended.

Don’t expect your car mates to ride in a dirty (inside) car. While your children’s sticky fingers and thousands of pieces of paper on the floor may be fine with you, your car-mates won’t appreciate it.

Do use some common sense when it comes to who sits where. The guy with the longest legs gets shotgun. The same applies to what’s on the radio. And, puh-lease, limit the perfume and cologne, but do make sure you’ve got lots of deodorant on.

Since I work from home the other days of the week, I guess I don’t have too much to bitch about. Sitting in traffic two days a week is one thing. I don’t know if I could do it every day of the week. (And since I come home at 4:00 a.m. to avoid the traffic on the drive back, I actually avoid one rush-hour trip completely.) But when I’m heading out on one of those long drives from Brighton to Cambridge or Waterloo, I often think how nice it would be to have someone to share the ride.

Stories abound about the “millionaire next door” who drives the 20-year-old rust bucket and wears the same pants he bought in 1942. And there are a wealth of anecdotes about people who clip coupons, hunt the deals, shop very carefully to save cents because that’s the only way they can make ends meet. But what about the people in the middle: the folks who have enough to make do and then some. How careful are they about how they spend their money? And what drives them to be frugal if they are?

I got into a conversation at a wedding recently when one of the women I was speaking with said quite perkily, “I don’t need to be careful. We make more than enough money and I like not having to think about it.”

Another woman in the group responded, “Hey, I like the game. I love seeing how much I can save each month. It feels like a win!”

So which camp do you fall into?

a) I don’t even want to think about it,

b) I love the game,

c) I have no choice.

I’m not a rabid bargain shopper. I like a good deal, but no deal is good enough to make me spend money for something I don’t actually need or really, really want. So hearing there’s a sale on at the TV store isn’t going to make me go looking at TVs. In fact, if I’m not looking for something in particular, I don’t even open the flyers when they arrive unbidden at my door.

Ditto dresses and shoes, garden supplies and patio furniture, cars, boats, and motorcycles. And I don’t think it’s ever mattered to me how much I’ve made, I’ve always been careful with my money… except, perhaps, for that brief period when I was about 25 and making really big bucks and thought there would be no end to it. Hmm.

In my book, sensible spending and solid money management are as important as how much moolah you’re bringing in. After all, if you spend every cent of your salary, no matter how enormous it may be you will still wind up in Debt Hell. Witness what happened in Alberta in the last couple of years as people’s incomes skyrocketed and their ability to borrow went right on up too. Albertans have the highest level of debt in the country – so much for those great incomes – and their net worths are falling like a rock.

If you make the effort and take the time to watch your money, you can grow a pretty satisfying nest egg on a relatively small income. That’s where the “blue-collar millionaire” phenomenon was born. Once upon a time blue-collar workers were seen as just making ends meet. Then financial institutions woke up to the reality that lots of people with average-joe salaries had stockpiled quite the basketful of money simply by making saving a priority.

Saving money should simply be a habit. And when you find yourself becoming complacent – when you think you have so much money that you don’t consider cost a factor in your purchase decision – it’s time to pinch yourself. You’ve wondered into dangerous territory.

You’ve just gone over your budget and realized you have a bit of cash left every month and you’re trying to decide what to do with it. Sure, you could boost your savings even further, but you’re thinking maybe there are better things you could do with that money.

Like buy a big screen TV. Or a new car. Or a whole bunch of new clothes.

Now hang on a sec, before you go acquiring (which is fine if that’s what you really want to do), think for a minute. Are there some things you could DO with that money that would increase your happiness factor?

Like what?

Well, like having some fun. If you’ve been single-minded about balancing your budget and creating a sound financial foundation, you may have forgotten just how much fun FUN is. What do you love to do? Maybe you miss hunting through flea markets with your best friend, sipping coffee with your sister or experimenting in the kitchen (my funnest thing). Haven’t been skiing in dogs’ years? Want to make that new quilt you’ve been talking about but reluctant to shell out money to start? Hey, this may be the perfect time to do those things that bring you joy, teach you something new, or let you share with someone you love.

Using your money to strengthen bonds with family and friends is a great way to increase your happiness quotient. Studies have shown that close relationships have a lot to do with how happy we feel. So maybe it’s time to spring for a trip to see your old high-school chums or university roommate. Or you could offer to bring your sister and her family to your place for visit. I find saying, “My treat” let’s people who are themselves financially strapped consider doing things that they’d love but simply couldn’t afford.

Using your money to reduce your stress is also a good “investment.” If you and your partner are working hard, busy with the kids, and can’t find time to do the vacuuming, maybe spending a little of that extra money to come home to a clean house will be worth it to you. And if you’re tired of yelling at your mate to get the garage, the basement, the shed cleaned up, hiring someone to do the dirty would eliminate the need to nag.

You could also take some of that money and spend it on someone else. Making other people happy has this fabulous rebound effect. If you could help ease someone else’s burden, or just bring a little unexpected joy to another’s very difficult life, the gift you give will be returned to you in spades. Would you child’s teacher appreciate a gift of some new books? Would the elderly in the local home appreciate a bunch of new movies to wile away their countless hours? How about building a treat basket for less well-advantaged neighbours and leaving it on the doorstep with a note that says, “I’m having a great day, hope you have one too!”

Whatever you decide to do with your money, it should be something that will truly make YOU happy. Never mind what turns anyone else’s crank, this is about using your money to fill your life with joy.  Figure out what makes you happy, and then use your money to fill your life full.

But traditions are funny things; sometimes we carry on the tradition without really connecting with its origins. We know we should be grateful for all we have, so we truss up the turkey, chop onions and ready the table for a feast. And as we roll out of our seats hours later, stuffed to the gills and very sleepy, we are happy that we got to see family and friends.  But how have we demonstrated our “thanks?”

Maybe it’s time to start a new tradition, one where we put a measure to our gratitude, one where we take the time to give back some of our bounty in real ways that help those who have not been as blessed as we have.

The idea of putting our money where our intentions are certainly isn’t a big leap for us. Canadians are a generous lot. It’s been estimated that 85% of Canadians aged 15 and over make a financial donation of some kind during the year.

Canadians on average give about $400 annually to their favorite causes. But splitting our limited dollars among several charities means small donations. And since the median contribution is considerably less – just $120 – it means that some people give a token amount, while others are really committed to giving. In fact, 25% of Canadians make 82% of all donations. Can you imagine what we could accomplish as a society if we could raise the median gift of $120 up to the average of $400.  Wow!

According to the Canadian Red Cross, a $100 donation can pay for enough water purification kits to purify over 20,000 litres of water. Oxfam says that $60 is enough to buy one family food for a month. CARE Canada says $15 will buy five cans to carry and store purified water. And just 37 cents will provide purified water for a family of five for a week. And Canadian Feed the Children says that it takes just $17 a month to sponsor a child.

Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity to start a giving circle: a group of friends or family members who work together to make their donor-dollars go further.  Perhaps you’ll choose to talk, as you feast, about how you can help a cause your family is passionate about. Maybe you’ll make a family list of causes you want to support, and commit to the amounts you will each give. However you choose to establish your new Thanks and Giving tradition, you’ll be in good company.

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My Thanks List 2010

1. That my children are happy and healthy.

2. That I live in a beautiful place.

3. That I am free to speak, to worship as I wish, to love whom I want.

4. For my friends who know how to listen and aren’t afraid to speak.

5. That I made it through.

6. That I can do work I truly enjoy.

7. That I have hope and that my heart is full of joy.

I am also extremely grateful for the friends I have made here. You are  lovely people, truly you are. And your kindness and acceptance is unparalleled. I wish you all a very happy thanksgiving.

Gobble-gobble, g