A Minimalist’s Approach
Posted by Gail | Filed under Life Lessons
Ever look at those magazine pictures of what your desk should look like – particularly the ones who think minimalism is the way to go – and wonder how they do it? I was browsing at one of my favorite sites, Zenhabits.net, when I came upon a picture of a desk with a computer, a lamp and a vase of flowers. It was beau-tee-ful. So neat. So clean. So clear. Then I looked up at my desk and thought, “Where would I put all the stuff I actually use every day?”
That’s not to say that from time to time I don’t have to stop and do a thorough clean-up. My desk does have a way of taking on a life of its own. I’ve got my personal financial stuff, the kids’ school stuff, the show stuff, the website stuff, my writing stuff, and whatever else I may have on the go stuff. I’ve got two phones, a calculator, a connection to recharge my cell, a printer, a fax/photocopier, a basket for stuff I need to keep handy but don’t need right NOW. If I were to try and do that minimalist desk thing, I’d spend hours a week trying to find all the stuff I’d put away to get it out of sight. Having everything I need at hand, saves me tons of time: time I can spend cooking, doing laundry, chatting with my kids, reading a book, or vegging on the couch.
Which brings me to the point of today’s blather: Sometimes we would like things to be one way, but our reality is very different. Sure, I could find a way to “hide” all the accoutrements of my office life, but the work involved simply isn’t worth the façade of perfection I’d be creating. So I must make do with my well-organized visual chaos.
I believe this is a truth for a lot of us: What we wish we had isn’t necessarily what we actually want. It’d be great if things were a certain way, but the work involved, the inconvenience, or what else we’d have to give up simply isn’t worth it. And so we go on “wishing” while we maintain our existing reality – the one that is working for us. And as we continue wishing, we diminish the joy we could be deriving from our real life by always thinking it isn’t really what we want. Such a shame. Not wanting what we already have is the core of discontentment. Turn it around, say you’re happy with what you have, and you’re well on your way to that serenity all those minimalists are promising.
But what if the reality we’re maintaining isn’t really working FOR us? What if that desk full of crap was a distraction and getting in the way of my productivity? I could keep on keeping on, never getting what I need done and whine about it, or I could bite the bullet and clean up, adjusting my reality closer to my wish.
That’s what happens about once a month when I clean up. I grab the bull by the horns and get back to the place that works for me.
The same holds true for our money management: sometimes things get out of hand and we need to take charge. It may be a job we wish we didn’t have to do, but because we’re grown ups and know that even the yucky stuff serves a purpose, we do the dirty. Then, when we’re back to a sane place, we can revel in the happy we have chosen.
Don’t let anyone tell you your life could be better if only you were a little more perfect. Being happy means making the life YOU want, and then reveling in the reality you’ve created. All that a-wishin’ and a-wantin’ is for wannabes. Me, I’ll take my messy reality that’s full of fun and promise (and productivity) any day.
October 20, 2009 at 6:37 am
My desk is usually what I like to call Organized chaos. To anyone else it’s a mess. But to me I can reachin and pull out exactly what I need. I know where it all is.
Would I love a life where everything is in it’s place all neat and tidy, sure I would. The trade off would be spending way too much time cleaning up, and then spending way more time trying to find stuff. I’m happy with my organized chaos.
Of course what you are really speaking of Gail is advertisement. It is all about telling you that this here is better then what you have so come on out and buy it. It doesn’t have to be a product. It could be as simple as selling minimalism. Advertisers do it all time, because if you don’t feel good about the life you have and the place you live in and the way you organize, hopefully you will go out and spend money to feel better and hopefully it will be on their products.
If your always happy then the advertisers are miserable.
October 20, 2009 at 7:00 am
I don’t like to go to a house where everything is so clean that you think nobody lives there.
Thank you Gail for all the tips!
October 20, 2009 at 8:25 am
I guess I stick a happy medium between organized chaos and minimalism. At the end of every day at work I like to survey my desk – decide what I can file away because it is complete and what still needs to get something done to it. Then I make two piles – file it and deal with it. The deal with it is stuff that I will tackle in the morning, the file it is stuff I’ll put away before leaving so it’s finished all the way through.
this has two purposes, the first is that I’ve moved into proper places the items I’ve complete for the day, the second is so that I have a neat little pile of stuff to do, and you can see 80% of my desk again. I have a phone, computer, stationary organizer, calculator, hole punch, stapler and the reference material I use daily neatly arranged on my desk. Instead of flowers I have a bear my mom designed for me – helps me remember to work hard and reminds me of home when I’m listless. It’s a happy medium I think. It also serves a residual purpose of letting the people I work with know whether or not I’m returning from that out-of-office meeting. if the desk is still in disarray, I’m planning a return. If it’s neat and tidy, I’ll see you tomorrow!
I’ve seen those offices in the magazines that have the beautiful desks with their tidy minimal surfaces and I’ve realized that trying to be that way means more hours at work and less doing the important things in life (smelling the roses on a walk, enjoying your partner’s company over tea, visiting friends). They are pretty and staged for the photo shoot, but next to impractical to maintain. I enjoy my little bit of inbetween. It lets me have some flowers if I choose, but get down to work too.
Thanks Gail for reminding us that the dreams we have and see in pictures are not our reality.
October 20, 2009 at 8:59 am
There’s a funny episode of Absolutely Fabulous (British version) where Edina’s minimalist friend is coming to visit and Edina panics when she sees the mess of her own house, shouting “Surface, Surfaces. Where are my surfaces?” I’m often reminded of this scene when I overclean my desk, and then have to bring many things back out again to actually get work done.
I think the utterly meaningless phrase “lifestyle living” is to blame. We seem to have absorbed the idea of the makeover as a lifestyle. We renovate our homes, wardrobes, and bodies, not so that they are more effective, but so that they come closer to the magazine ideal. And just when everything is paid for and finished, and we can start using the new whatever, it’s time for a makeover. I’m all set for whenever “sort-of tidy mishmash” comes into vogue.
October 20, 2009 at 9:40 am
My desk gets a lil disorganized fairly quickly. However I do give it a quick re-organization every once and awhile. One of the issues is that I don’t have any drawers in my desk so everything gets piled on top.
In general I do not like clutter and alot of stuff floating around. I like nice open rooms with everything either in a place or put away. My house doesn’t have alot of decorations or anything, just painted walls and a few scattered pictures.
October 20, 2009 at 9:42 am
I’m going against the grain here but I love an empty desk, with as few papers, knicknacks, utensils, whatever around. Just a desk, a laptop, a sheet of paper and pencil and I’m in heaven. Oh and possibly some kind of shredder / wood chipper hybrid machine ideally.
October 20, 2009 at 9:56 am
I see those photos in the magazines too, where everything looks so pretty and clutter free. But then you wonder.. well, where are their phones, their tv remotes, their boxes of kleenex? Surely these people use thos things.
I would love to have a house that is so simple it only takes a few minutes to tidy up every day, but really, how boring would that be? One word – VERY.
October 20, 2009 at 10:41 am
I live and work in the whole organized chaos environment. At first the perfectionist in me tried very hard to make everything neat, tidy and efficiently sorted all the time. Sure, I loved the feeling of sitting back and knowing everything was in its proper place but I was exhausted from trying to keep everything looking that way!
Now I tidy/organize everything at home and work once a week so I can sit back and enjoy that feeling for a day. This way I get that satisfied feeling but I’m not done in!
October 20, 2009 at 11:27 am
I love looking at those pictures in magazines, not the ultra minimalist, but the very streamlined. Of course I go on wishing my house looked like that, but it’s like Gail said, that just wouldn’t work because I need the stuff and we use it all the time.
We have young children so we ended up with half and half, minimal and chaos. All the bottom shelves of everything are empty and the top ones are smushed with stuff. And we do a lot of our decorating with Rubbermaid containers, used to block off the fireplace from our kids.
After a bit of introspection I realized that I am happiest when I desire something I could have, like a very organized and matching house, but I have to desire it and work towards it for a long time. I’d get really bored without a project.
October 20, 2009 at 11:28 am
And I agree with Julie, you can’t change just for change’s sake, you have to want to improve something and be ok with the mess in the meantime.
October 20, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I love having a super tidy desk but while I do keep it as organized as I can I definitely need to have certain items readily available to get the job done quickly and done right. I find that having a place for everything is the key to staying on top of things. Of course, you have to actually put it back in its place to make that work.
@ Geoff, you described my perfect desk enviroment.. sigh
Oh well, I guess a busy desk means a lot of business which means staying in business lol. I’ll take that over my dream spartan desk any day.
October 20, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Just once, i would love to see a picture of a room featured in a home magazine one week after the staged photo-shoot.
I seriously don’t think anyone really lives like that, not really. Either that or, they travel all the time and they definitely don’t have kids!
October 20, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I agree with Jason- it’s all about an advertised lifestyle. It’s being sold to us. Most of us with a job/kids/stuff to do can’t keep up a picture perfect home. It’s impossible to expect that we can rearrange the house every season with new accessories/furniture/paint.
While I love flipping through home magazines, I stopped subscribing to them because I found myself wanting a clean lifestyle. Quite impossible with two young boys! My husband and I have learned to enjoy the chaos that comes with having kids and we are just content with our home as it is. A perfectly clean home is nice, but we need to let ourselves go and enjoy it rather than always trying to “make sure” that there is nothing spilling on the carpet, no scratches on the dining room table and no little messes around.
While we need to tidy up, we love having patina on our home. It’s a sign that things are well used and that there is life in our home.
October 20, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I am with Jason – it’s organized chaos. I know exactly where everything is! I like things pretty simple and clean but a desk – well that’s an exception. I often put everything in my keyboard tray because I don’t need it with a laptop, somewhat hides the mess. When I was in school I would have papers stacked all over my dresser, bed and desk while working on a paper, and roll over to the sections I needed with my laptop in hand. Now, my desk is somewhat of a disaster but it works. It easily piles up with “stuff” sometimes so much that I just take my laptop to a new room to use.
October 20, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I have this quote from Einstein in my e-mail signature:
“If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
October 20, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Ah, yes, my desk…seems to have a mind of its own sometimes! It doesn’t seem to want to stay clean/organized! I just get the papers filed, buy ANOTHER organizer, and put things away, and before you know it, it’s overflowing again!!!! I just don’t get it sometimes – where does this stuff come from??? lol
As for my house…Frugalistas, I feel your pain-a 2 1/2 and 1yr old can make a house look like a bomb went off moments after you “clean” something. It’s like there’s a magnet that draws them to it. My friend’s husband made a comment one day (about his deck covered in toys, etc), gee, I hope noone was hurt in the explosion…hilarious, but true. It’s a sign that we are living! Embrace and enjoy, some day we’ll be wishing they were back…
October 20, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I think sometimes we need to have this “desk” in a room where we can just close the door, and allow life to continue on around it. Not to feel the pressure to preform and look like it step out of a magazine.
My desks are always a mess, but it’s a personal work space, and it does get cleaned up. Thanks for the great article.
October 20, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Adverts…magazines…..TV commercials…..don’t get me started.
I’ve come to the conclusion that magazines are eye candy, and I try to keep them in perspective. Long ago I decided there are a “bunch of people” sitting around a table somewhere wondering how they can make the general public feel bad about themselves (you know like that other “bunch of people” designing uncomfortable shoes for women???)
The beautiful recipe photographed just so? Isn’t it glossy and gorgeous? If you can’t replicate it…do you feel a failure?
The skinny, skinny models showing designers goods telling us we should be a size -0. Is that healthy? Besides it’s only a kazillion dollars for the scarf don’t you know?
Or, how about the beautifully decorated rooms that would cost you thousands of dollars on your line of credit to buy and ‘you too can live in the lap of luxury’.
Nope. Not for me. I do like to look, I have my favourites, but, I don’t get fished in cause I hear the cackling of that “bunch of people” trying to come up with their next attack (it gets louder nearer October 31st)
So, I try to live my life, messy desk some days, others not so messy and continue to try not to sweat the small stuff.
October 20, 2009 at 2:28 pm
I’m with Geoff, my desk is tidy with just the essentials on top. I’m a firm believer that our environment is a good indicator of how are life is (finances, home life, work life, etc.).
Call me crazy, but even my closet is organized and aligned in a particular way. My wallet has all the bills in order, etc. Right or wrong, it all works for me
October 20, 2009 at 3:48 pm
GAIL! You are talking about my desk, aren’t you!
My desk to the average observer is a dangerous place of layers of stuff. The piles on the floor ARE organized, they just don’t look it. It gets out of hand regularly and I have to clear it (like you) about once a month. The mess crosses the line between efficient chaos and a true mess. After finishing a major project, I wipe the slate clean (and it lasts about a day and a half before the next project makes it’s own piles).
It is a system that is very personal.
When I worked in an office environment, my desk was the model of effieciency! I had it cleared and presentable before I left every evening, and in the morning when I returned, my desk was a fresh and pristine place to start. I have to say, I loved that! But the reality of my home office is very very VERY different from the employee environment….. I could leave my work at work for one thing.
There is so much more that this desk has to do! Children’s school notices, bills, follow-up appointments scheduled, personal dream tracking, hobbies, home maintenance, music, pets, and of course my career all take up at least a bit of space on this desk!
The metaphor of the desk and life is clear. I would LIKE to have that clean office-desk to proudly display to all, but my busy life-desk is nothing to be ashamed of really…. (it may be a fire hazard though).
October 20, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I love a clean desk and usually work that way, except when under stress. You can always tell what I am feeling by the way my desk looks.
October 20, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I am so not a minimalist. Sadly, my husband is, and between the kids and I it gets to be a bit much for him. Getting our own desks has been a lifesaver. Because it’s really true, finding your own best way is far better than trying to fit into some outside ideal.
October 20, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I was taking a seminar on personality styles a while back, and after doing our assessment and chatting as a group, the facilitator looked right at me and asked me to explain what my desk looked like … I turned bright red and my jaw dropped … I said that to anyone else, it would like a big disorganized mess, but that I knew exactly where stuff was – he nodded knowingly. Seems it was a very common trait for that personality profile!
I really liked this blog for another reason aside from the minimalism. I liked the quote of ‘what you wish for is not really what you want’. We were contemplating a smaller vehicle but realized that I still needed the van for a few activities that the smaller vehicle would not accommodate (30 cases of girl guide cookies anyone?). I can wish for a smaller vehicle all I like, but I want the one that can adapt as needed. Guess it is the van for a while longer yet.
ps – I do have a friend who lives in a ’showhome’ magazine spread style and she has two boys. It can be done – but she cleans regularly and almost hourly. She mops her floor every night. If you go over to visit and it is her routine to clean right then – well, enjoy waiting while she finishes cleaning. She used to joke that when she had kids she would be apt to dip them in bleach before they came in the house from outside! Fortunately her boys are not yet to the worms in the pockets stage of life . . . but when they are . . . her life should get a lot more interesting.
October 20, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Unlike most people who have responded to this blog, the phrase that struck me most was “facade of perfection”.
So many people on Gail’s show seem to be trying to pretend that they are wealthy and living large with vacations, new furniture, fancy cars/hobbies when the reality is that they cannot afford to feed their children or they are in imminent danger of losing their homes.
It seems that no one these days wants to admit that their lives are anything but perfect. Not only are the advertisers trying to lure us with a vision of an unattainable lifestyle, but our friends/co-workers are, as well.
From listening to how wonderful someone’s husband/marriage is to hearing tales of perfectly obedient, studious genius offspring , we all start to compare ourselves to others.
Maintaining this facade has not only a financial price but an emotional cost, too.
The one good thing about getting older is that I no longer feel the need to keep up with “biggest, best, smartest, richest” etc, etc.
I love Frugalista’s idea of the “patina” in her home. I am embracing the patina of my life.
It is very freeing to get out of the perfection race and just be me, warts, dust bunnies, messy counters and all.
October 20, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Some people are born organized and then there are those of us who struggle it. Find what works for you and if you truly need assistance look up Flylady.net. Its free and helpful to get on the organization track. Progress not perfection.
Thanks again Gail for a great post.
October 20, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Much of my home is organized and when I’m done with something it gets put away. But my office room is my creative space. I’ve come to realize that I am a visual person. If I file an unfinished project away where I can’t see it, I’ll forget about it. I cannot function creatively with a pristine desk. I’ll tidy it a bit when items get out of hand but it will never be featured as a positive example in a lifestyle magazine and that is fine by me.
I have a magnet that reads “Dull Women have immaculate houses.” Instead of trying to live up to the “facade of perfection” figure out what works for you and keep doing that, you’ll be happier for it.
October 21, 2009 at 9:58 am
That’s fine that a lot of people are “okay” with their disorganized lifestyles, nobody’s perfect. But what people should understand is that many of our problems are directly related. If your house is too messy, then you will likely have trouble organizing your finances as well. There is also a direct relation between clutter and weight issues (ever hear of the book “Does this clutter make me look fat”?). And I know myself, there is always one of those things out of balance for me, wether it be my house/finances/weight. I just cannot have all of them balanced at the same time, it’s a struggle. Having a minimalist approach sure does help a little though before it’s too far gone.
October 21, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I will second Linda’s comment to go check out Flylady. Even if you don’t follow her program (it’s all free advice), you can take away two valueable messages:
1. Don’t aim for perfection, it will only bring you down.
2. You can do anything 15 minutes at a time.