Thank You
Posted by Gail | Filed under Thinking Out Loud
It was a year ago today that I blogged about my life falling apart. There was no turkey on the table. My children and I were looking for a new home. And I was mourning the death of my 18-year marriage. But there were still things I was grateful for: good friends, healthy children who would eventually be happy again, the resources to cope. It’s been an interesting year. I was bumped and bruised couple of times — like the first time I spent my son’s birthday without him and bawled the whole day, or the mother’s day he was with his father which just seemed WRONG — but all in all we’ve come through the rough and things are better.
Alex demanded turkey this year …we didn’t do turkey last year and I’m not a huge turkey fan. Without a bunch of people to cook for my motivation was low. So I told her if she got three people over for dinner I’d pony up. Sure enough, we had turkey dinner with six of her friends.
The sweet potatoes were a HUGE hit. Butter, brown sugar, fresh pineapple and a little rum! Mmm. And I apparently make awesome mashed potatoes: red-skins, butter and salt is all. I cooked a fresh turkey for the first time — mostly because I was up to my armpits during the week and didn’t even get to the market until Thursday, and we were having our dins Friday to not conflict with everyone else’s family meals. So fresh it was. And I don’t think I’ll ever go back to frozen. What a delicious turkey it turned out to be. I filled the cavity with a couple of cloves of garlic, some Jamaican seasoning (a bottle of mixed stuff) and a pound of butter. Then I roasted it upside down (breast down) first covered at 460 degrees for about an hour, and then at 350 til it was done, uncovering it and flipping it over for the last 45 mins or so. I also made cranberry jelly… a couple of packs of berries, sugar, fresh ginger sliced into the boiling cranberries. Toward the end I added some orange rind and mixed in a little orange liquor, whatever was on hand.
The best part was the joy. I love listening to the kids yammer on about their lives and what they’re going to do next. It was such a pleasure to see them stuffing their faces and heading to a turkey-coma. I burnt the (frozen) pumpkin pie (don’t ask) but no one seemed to care much.
So here I sit this morning thinking about how much my life has changed in a year. I’m not broken anymore. I am happy to count among my blessings the fact that my children are once again full of joy and optimism. Malcolm is at a new school and is thriving. He’s almost my height now and I can’t believe how happy he is. Alex has gone into her final year of high school with gusto, has one of the female leads in Seussical The Musical at school this year, and is gainfully employed as she saves up money for university next year. And I… well I am looking ahead and wondering what life holds next for me. I’m at the beginning of production for my new show, Princess, and awaiting the publication of Debt Free Forever. I’ve just been told that CNBC has bought TDDUP and that it’ll start airing in the U.S. on that station sometime in November (?). And I’m in the midst of revamping the website and blog to give it a fresh feel and to make it easier to navigate.
I am happy. I remember part way through the past 12 months sitting down and writing out what I wanted, and “to be happy” was at the top of the list. Life gets bumpy sometimes. Sometimes it’s downright dismal. But if we can hold on, if we believe that things will be better, they get better. Having great friends to help hold you up is a big part of surviving when the crap hits the fan. (So does having some money in the bank.) But I think the most important thing is knowing you will be okay… remembering that “this, too, will pass”, and holding on. Of course things don’t get better by themselves. Even as you are “believing” you have to be busting your butt to make whatever you want next a reality. Sometimes it feels like you’re barely surviving, dangling by a frayed thread. But if you do hold on, if you believe that where you are today is not where you will be tomorrow, you can take a deep breath and resolve to roll with whatever comes next.
I hope this Thanksgiving finds you happy and able to give thanks too. If this is the year your life is falling apart believe me when I say it won’t always be like this… things will change… things always do. And if you can find even one small thing to say “Thank You” for, you will allow the light into your gloom. Just one small thing.
Thank you to all of you for having been so wonderful over the past year. Your blessings and encouragement played no small part in helping me transition to where I am now. I send you all a huge hug.
October 12, 2009 at 8:32 am
Gail, I was thinking about you this Thanksgiving as I remember it was one year ago that you gave us the news. You are a remarkable woman. The first year following any obstacle can be very hard but you have come through shining. I am a huge fan of your show and I can’t wait to see the new show and your new book. Keep doing your thing girl! You are an inspiration to people everywhere. Congratulations on getting picked up by CNBC. That is huge!!
I wish you and your family nothing but peace and blessings this Thanksgiving.
October 12, 2009 at 8:33 am
So glad to hear that things are much better for you this year. I have plenty to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, and one of those things is having your blog to read every morning. I enjoy your no nonsense attitude, and your wisdom has helped me see the big picture for our family. Hugs back at you, Gail! Happy Thanksgiving!
October 12, 2009 at 8:53 am
Thank you Gail for your lovely post. It served as a check point for me as to where I was last year. My dad had a stroke, we discovered his $100,000 of debt, and we had to sell his house asap. Today, he is thriving in a new retirement home down the street from me, the debt is gone, and the money from the house has been put into savings for him. As someone kept telling me last year, “this too shall pass.” Happy Thanksgiving!!
October 12, 2009 at 9:06 am
Gail, our whole family sends huge hugs back.
We heartily enjoy your show, and watch it together as a family. While we’ve been in pretty good shape over the years (only one credit card ever), your show helps keep us on track.
So thank you too, Gail.
Also! Glad to hear the blog is getting revamped. Hubby & I are WordPress developers and every time I see this lightly modified default layout, I cringe just a wee bit.
October 12, 2009 at 9:09 am
I too have a tough thanksgiving. My first marriage fell apart when my husband after 19 years of marriage decided he was gay. Last thanksgiving my partner of 5 years was caught having an affair for the past year. Another marriage as it felt to me fell apart again at thanksgiving. This year, I drag out a bird as well and carted it over to my parents along with my daughter. Its hard not to think where we were a year ago isnt? If someone said I would be here I would have laughed. Im back at school trying to rewrite my future in hopes to make a better income. I unfortunately after two divorces have exhausted my savings…yes the lawyers always do well. But hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are good and bad days, so Im cleaning out my closets and rearranging the bedroom in hopes of new things to be welcomed in. Im not ready for a new relationship…still to bruised and scared but I am ready for a new life. I lift my glass to you my dear! We are the survivors! Blessed Be and Happy Thanksgiving!
October 12, 2009 at 9:42 am
Gail – you are a gem and so resilient – you are an inspiration to all! And thank you for being candid with us last year – reaching out to your on-line community for support. It’s here – we’re here with you to help lift you up as you do for countless others.
I too am thankful to be relatively healthy, surrounded by a loving family. My job is just a job but pays the bills – my personal life is growing with enriched activities as I make more time and energy for that part of my day to day life.
Happy Thanksgiving – and thanks again for who you are.
October 12, 2009 at 9:44 am
yes, life dies bring along some ‘bumps’. I sat down at my own turkey dinner last nite, looked around the table at the dear faces sitting there and was able to feel that warm swell of bliss in my chest.
is my life perfect? no.
have i (like many others) been hit by a few of life’s bumps? oh yes.
am i thankful? yes. for all of it.
Hugs to you Gail.
October 12, 2009 at 9:47 am
am i a speller? no.
rewrite……….yes, life DOES bring along some bumps. “
October 12, 2009 at 9:50 am
So happy to hear you’re in a better place in life now Gail.
I’m a newcomer to your blog, but I enjoy coming to read your thoughts on life.
Can we ask what “Princess” will be about, or is that hush-hush?
October 12, 2009 at 9:51 am
Here’s to all your successes- new show, new book and being picked up by NBC, congratulations. I love the website, I find it very user friendly. In developing the new site I have hopes that it remains so.
Thank you Gail for all of your advice it is very much appreciated and moving ahead with that advice is rewarding.
Thank you today and everyday – good health, family and love.
Happy Thanksgiving!
October 12, 2009 at 9:59 am
I can’t believe that was a year ago! I’m glad to hear this year was better than last and hope every year continues to get better. Congrats on the CNBC deal! Awesome!
You inspire me daily with your blog to keep on track and stick it out because “this too shall pass”. Armed with a plan that is solid and tangible, we are working our way to the top of the debt heap and that makes this year better than last for us too.
Thanks, Gail and everyone who posts!
October 12, 2009 at 10:02 am
Congratulations on getting to Happy. You deserve all your success. Thanks for being so generous with your help and love.
Happy Thanksgiving.
October 12, 2009 at 10:11 am
So glad that you are happy Gail. You so deserve it.
I am fortunate to be in a happy marriage, but I lost my mother to cancer a couple of years ago and holidays are tough. I try to remind myself of all the good things and your post helps. Happy Thanksgiving.
October 12, 2009 at 10:46 am
Happy Thanksgiving to you too Gail!!
October 12, 2009 at 11:33 am
Congratulations, Gail, on the pick up for the show. I think there are a LOT of people who are starving for your brand of cents and sensibility.
Thank you for sharing your life with us, and I am very happy for you and the joy that you have in your life. Happy Thanksgiving, indeed.
October 12, 2009 at 11:36 am
Gail, I don’t suppose you’d consider posting your recipes?
October 12, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Gail – Congratulations on all your successes. You so deserve it.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us ea. day and inspiring us to live a wiser and more fulfilling life. Happy Thanksgiving!!
October 12, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Happy (happy!) Thanksgiving—and THANK YOU GAIL!!!!
October 12, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Happy Thanksgiving Gail, Alex and Malcolm!
A year has passed and look what you’ve accomplished, where you are, and how you feel? I’m so proud of you! (Must admit to being PO’D that Malcolm wasn’t with you on *****”MOTHER’S”***** day – whazup with that!)
I was excited to read that Malcolm is thriving at a new school and happy, Alex is working and playing hard and enjoying, and that you my dear are the impetus for all the joy that surrounds you!
Congratulations on the US picking up TDDUP – you will be helping even more people needing help with their debt and that must give you warm fuzzies.
If we all can take a moment to think of our lives, there are definitely many people/things to be thankful for. I have so much.
Best wishes for an even better year ahead Gail! Hugs right back at you!
P.S. When you are upgrading the website….please remember there is a ludite here who has trouble with change
October 12, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Gail, your post made me think of something my Father has told me since I was a little girl. Anytime I found myself upset about my current state of affairs, he’d simply say “and just think of where you were this time last year…” This is the famous Dad quote that got me through a divorce at 23, and all the fallout associated with it.
Also I had a good chuckle about your refusal to cook a turkey unless there was a crowd… I often find my joy level is connected directly to my willingness to cook for others. Figure that one out
Happy Holidays, and I know those teenagers will TREASURE the meal you made for them and think back on it for many years to come. Way to go Gail!
xoxo
R.
October 12, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Thank you for sharing…. the recipes, and the insights.
{{{{{{{{ BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}
To you and yours this special Thanksgiving.
October 12, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Happy Thanksgiving to you too! I tell you, you sure sound like a great cook! I once made a pumpkin pie so bad the dogs wouldn’t eat it, so I think burning it can’t be that bad.
I so needed a Gail hug today too! Not a lot of people up here seem big on hugs and my VERY huggy parents and sister live nine hours away. Too far to get to, I’m afraid. So I’ll take that Gail hug and make my Thanksgiving a little more hug filled.
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October 12, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I am so glad to see how this past year has turned out for you. You certainly provide an inspiring example of how things can turn around, and for the better. I am so glad that you’ve shared this journey with us.
Happy Thanksgiving!
October 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Happy thanksgiving, it sounds like your dinner was a great success!! i’ve spent the whole weekend in bed with the flu, missed dinner, but it totally makes you realize what you have to be Thankful for, when you can’t be with the ones you love and do the things you like to do. very inspiring post today, as always, for me, very timely.
October 12, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Thank you for sharing your wisdom–both financial and personal. Our family is on so much a better footing in the last 6 months or so, and you and your show have played a huge part in that. I am so pleased to hear that things have gotten better for you over the past year, and that the children have adjusted. (Wasn’t too worried about Alex, but I have an Aspie son as well and know how well he copes with change!). A big HAPPY THANKSGIVING from our family to yours today! Hugs!
October 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I remember reading your blog post last Thanksgiving – I can’t believe that it’s been a full year since that day. Thank you so much for everything you’ve given me. I really appreciate learning from you – and not just financially. Through your blog and your show, you’ve encouraged me to reflect on what I really, truly want and to believe that I can make what I want a reality. These lessons in particular have helped me to realize that i do have the power to create the life that I want for myself, and that is a valuable lesson. Gail, you are a kind, compassionate soul with a fabulous spirit, and it’s made a profound impact on me as well as on the other people around you. Thank you for all you’ve done for us, and today, for reminding us to be grateful.
October 12, 2009 at 3:40 pm
[...] to all of my readers who happen to celebrate this holiday. I was inspired to read the post, Thank You on Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s blog today. I’ve always believed that being grateful for what you [...]
October 12, 2009 at 3:51 pm
A year goes by so quickly. I am very happy your life has come back to a good place, and that you and your children are well.
Thank you for the insight and knowledge you pass on to us, your readers (and watchers). I have learned much.
Hugs to you. Happy Thanksgiving!
October 12, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Like many of the women here, I’m also grateful for you Gail. You are a wise and beautiful lady.. and we’re lucky to have the benefit of your words.
Happy Thanksgiving
October 12, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Happy Thanksgiving Gail (and everyone)
I hope Alex loves Seussical (is she Gertrude?). I produced a showing of Seussical a few years ago and I think its a great (but a bit cheesy) musical to be in
October 12, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Time heals, and joy returns. I’m very happy that you are finding joy again after the trauma and drama that has been part of your life over the past year or two!
May I be so bold as to suggest/request/beg/plead that your next book be a cookbook? I drool over your descriptions of the dishes you make. I’d happily sign up for copy number one!!!
Happy Thanksgiving!!! Thank you, Gail, for all you are and all you do!
October 12, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Hello Happy Gail,
I am glad you had a good Thanksgiving and that you are all doing well. Congrats on CNBC picking up TDDUP, I told you you are “Gold Baby”!
October 12, 2009 at 9:10 pm
A Happy thanksgiving to you Gail, your wonderful family – immediate and working included – and to all the Gail blog readers out there. It has been a wonderful year – full of life’s tests, merriment, and simple joys.
As I reflect on where Gail was a year ago, I am reminded of where I was a year ago and am thankful that each of us has grown and prospered this year. To those who are struggling to see the good – you are reading one good thing in this blog, another is that YOU are sitting here reading it. To those who are experiencing the joy, please make sure to thank Gail and keep her in your prayers.
I wish everyone reading – both actively posting and simply enjoying quietly, alike, the very best for this coming you – and to thank you all for being a part of this blog, and having a positive effect on my life by allowing Gail to continue what she does for us all.
Happiest of Thanksgiving’s to you all!!
October 13, 2009 at 5:16 am
Rebecca, she is Gertrude. And she’s thrilled to be doing the musical. Most of these kids grew up on Dr. Seuss and all the kids in the community will get a huge bang out of the production. Her school, ENSS, is extremely “professional” in how they go about their productions and the production team is made up of wonderful and dedicated people who love to see the kids growing and having fun.
October 13, 2009 at 7:23 am
Gail: That is so great. Gertrude is a great part! Seussical is so much fun to do because the production notes basically say ‘make it your own’ and do not describe how the characters/sets should look like. It allows for a ton of creativity.
My production was a ‘teachers college’ production where a group of students (from all levels, our Horton was a tech teacher) put on the production outside of their regular classes. The best part had to be during our ‘kids only’ matinee when the little kindergarten students sang along with ‘a persons a person no matter how small’.
October 13, 2009 at 9:03 am
Congratulations on turning your life around – you’re a strong person and I wish you every success in the years to come.
You wrote : “I AM HAPPY” …… it must have felt really good to acknowledge that feeling to put it down in black and white. Good for you!
Take care and Happy Thanksgiving.
October 13, 2009 at 9:24 am
Large frugalista hugs from us as well! We enjoy your show and your blog! Keep up the great work!
October 13, 2009 at 10:37 am
I also can’t believe a year has gone by! I am glad that you are doing well and I thank you for all that you do for us. I can’t wait to read your blog everyday and have you to thank for being in a much better place financially than I was a year ago. ((((Big Hug))))
October 13, 2009 at 10:41 am
Gail, time has wizzed on by! Can hardly believe it’s been a year.
I must say I’m a little jealous of the Thanksgiving you had at your home. We went to some friends and had a great time Sunday night but I so love to feed people in my own home.
Congrats on the CNBC picking up TDDUP. Every little bit helps those looking for it. Sometimes you really have to hear something over and over before it becomes part of you and having those episodes out there will help.
October 13, 2009 at 11:20 am
I’m glad that you’re in a better place this year Gail, you’ve worked so hard. You probably don’t get to hear from everyone that you’ve helped so thank you very much from our family and my sister’s as well. I have also passed on your website and advice to 3 friends of mine, one of whom is travelling through Splitsville. I of course enjoy watching your show and I am so happy you got picked up in the States. That is huge. I have gotten some really good ideas from some of the episodes, like home maintenance is a category, not an emergency. Good things to you in the upcoming year.
October 13, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Cheers to you and your family & thanks for having this website for all of us to come to as a community…..hugs right back at you.
October 13, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Congratulations, Gail. Looking forward to being able to see your show in the US– your blog has been a real source of information and support for me. Thank you.
October 13, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Wow-time does fly! It’s inspiring to see such a huge change in perspective in one year. As Saver Queen noted, you have so much wisdom to share, and it’s not all about money. That is one of the many things that makes you special Gail-lots of people tell you how to budget, you help people learn to live the life they want and see that it’s possible. HUGE HUGS to you!! You’re one of the people I’m thankful for in the world. Having had the pleasure and privelege to meet you (and your great kids) and bask in your joyful, generous personality, I can’t imagine you being anything but, though I recall with sadness how rough you were feeling a year ago. I’m so glad you’re getting your happy back-if anyone deserves it, it’s you!!
PS Alex-break a leg
October 13, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Aw, Gail, we’re so thankful for you, too! When you started TDDUP and all that’s come along with it, didja ever imagine what a great big online family you’d pull out of the ether??
I love this blog and this site, and that show.
And I too, have one year post-marriage blowup behind me. I DO remember reading last Thanksgiving’s post and crying, and crying, and crying (oh, geez, I’m gonna do it again, now). I felt so miserable and so alone back then. But you, Gail, through sharing your own story, convinced me I could find my way back. And baby, I sure AM thankful for the journey. Happy? not completely, yet. Lots of red tape still to go. But WAY better off than last year. Power to ya, Gail. And love to your family, from mine.
October 13, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Yes, fresh turkey is the way to go! I find it cooks about 1/2 hr. faster, and is more moist.
Congrats on your show being picked up, and the new show coming. I’m enjoying the last of TDDUP. They’ll love it in the U.S., very timely I’d say.
October 14, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Congratulations on TDDUP being picked up by CNBC! I can see that you’ve touched many lives with your no nonsense approach to finance.
I’m looking forward to the new website and pretty soon to a fresh new 2010.
Keep on moving forward, life only gets better