any suggestions would be very greatly appreciated
Cheers:)

I’m wondering what would/could happen if the spouse with debt dies or we get divorced before we can pay off the 2 things I have my name on.( 1 joint account and a secondary card holder in his name)

What I’m wondering is do I automatically become responsible for everything else just because we have a joint account?

FYI- We do not have any assets -unfortunately

The lines are not so easily drawn in the sand. I have my own credit card and savings accounts. I have even saved money for my kids education, AND the family house in is my name. But when the family company needs money….. all of those “safety nest eggs” are soon drawn dry…. “for the sake of the family business.” Even my own line of credit, credit cards have been drawn on for “sake of the business.” When company employees need to be paid and there is little money in the bank… I find myself drawing from the nest eggs to cover the shortfalls. I work for our company as the controller, bookkeeper but when my husband insists he needs to buy a new piece of machinery or makes a business decision that isn’t always sound…. my power is minimal.

When you mix love, finances and business, the areas can gray very quickly. I do feel comfortable as I have company & personal insurance policies on my husband in amounts that I feel would cover any liability he incurs from his risky business. I’m just not sure of the legalities when both spouses work for the family business – *I have signing authority & often sign cheques*. I am also considering drawing up a contract for my husband to sign for incidences when he makes risky business decisions. The contract will state that he can assume all associated liabilities…and benefit entirely if it succeeds. That way I feel more powerful to step back when our opinions collide and feel comfortable that my kids & I are secured financially.

We don’t have a lot of things joint but it doesn’t seem to matter much since the local stores will sell him his beer using the Visa that’s always been in *my* name only. I don’t think they even check to see if he’s related, they just take it. He’s the only one with a paycheck right now since I watch our toddler. I do plan to get a job when our tot starts school.

Right now I put half of my disability check into my retirement account. I don’t have my own savings account. Our checking, savings, and EM fund are all joint, though the EM has no debit card. So based on this article, you’re saying I should open a different EM fund somewhere he has no access? The bank I’m at right now seems to tie together all accounts. So if I opened one in my name only if any account there with my name attached to it was overdrawn, they could still pull from the EM fund without asking to cover it.

My only qualm about not having his name on the big savings account is what if something happens to ME, not him?

So, my plan is to start sending a little to my old, pre-marriage savings account that’s out of state.

And to pay down the credit card that’s in my name only even though the other store cards we have are joint. We’re purchasing a house and I found out that because of that card, which is maxed, my credit rating is lower than his. It just didn’t seem fair. But I’m bucking up and going to change that now.

Thanks, Gail!

Remember… you can’t expect to change someone’s behavior after you are married, so what you see during your courtship will eventually carry through.

Beware – money does cause significant tension in most families. We’ve adopted a full-disclosure full-discussion philosophy at our house. We have joint everything. Anything over $50 should be discussed. We don’t do anything big unless we put it away and think about it.

We’re both savers, and it helps!!

I just finished watching episode 92 online and I can see where Gail got her inspiration on writing this blog. I was saddened to see Julia in a situation in her life with a man that doesn’t appear to value her opinion whatsoever on compromising between short term social life spending and longer term savings..both can be achieved with a little forethought and planning. By the end of the episode I was reflecting on my own situation, thinking how lucky I am to have such a supportive partner, and where both of us are on the same page as to how, where and when we will spend our money. We have most things joint and we each get an ‘allowance’ a week to spend on whatever takes our fancy…it works for us.

It would be a really interesting series for Gail to do a ‘where are they now’ episode for some of the more ‘contentious’ couples who originally came on the show. I would love to know what happened to the Grandparents and their grand daughter, and also whether Julia and Guy were able to work things out!

Thanks again for the show Gail – it is a bright spot for me each week.

If you have to go to the extent of hiding accounts from your spouse or getting ticked off because you contribute 60% to the household and the other 40%, all I have to say is WOW.

It’s definitely true when they say if there’s a problem with one of these three things within a relationship divorce is around the corner – sex, communication or money. It seems like communication lacks in most relationships, maybe we should text or post what we have to say on a facebook wall instead of confronting the person one on one.

If money is a problem in a relationship, there are many other deeper problems that are being ignored, try talking.

About a year into our marriage we realized that I am a saver and he is a spender. We were often fighting about how much to pay to debt, how much to save, he wanted to buy this, and I wanted to save for that. We have now gone back to separate bank accounts. As our income is very similar, we have split all the bills 50/50 and came to an agreed amount to pay towards debt each month. Whatever money is remaining belongs to the person who earned it, to do with whatever he or she chooses. I tend to transfer my after expenses money to RSP and Savings, with a little left over for life, and he tends to spend most of his money on everything under the sun, with just a little left over for savings and RSPs.

It’s not exactly how I hoped things would work for us financially, but it works for us right now. Once our joint debt is paid in full, I sure hope he finds the space in his budget to ramp up the savings so I’m not stuck paying for our retirement!