Maureen, I LOVE reading what you write. When there are a lot of comments and I have little time, I skim through them but always stop to read yours.

You have a fabulous writing style. You are hilarious – a really wonderful witty way of putting things. You’ve been through so much change, and I just love reading your perspectives on all kinds of things.

Happy Long Weekend Everyone!

Do you have your own blog (or have you thought about starting one?). I’d read it. Doesn’t need to be anything fancy or geared towards any specific subject, maybe just “Maureen’s Musings on Life”. I think there are a few of us that enjoy your writing style, whatever the subject is. Finance / family relationships / making it through the day / etc. etc. etc.

Today at work, i knew i’d have about 170 envelopes to stuff. I made it my goal to get it done, and I did. took me 6.5hrs, but it was done, so nothing to deal with mail until wednesday.

“Sometimes I wake up grumpy, sometimes I let him sleep”

and

“Would you rather be right, or be happy?”

(that last one makes my daily life so much more pleasant with kids and husband and clients, by letting me concede from time to time — even if I think I’m right — just to chose my battles carefully so I can win the war!)

I used to have a lot of very complex yet unfocused expectations. Not so much now and I have never been happier. Have set the bar so low that I can’t help but succeed and how can you be unhappy if you have just had a success? I am very flexible and so is the bar.

I have a lot of “sayings” magnet-ed to my fridge. They give me inspiration, direction and a laugh. A few of them are – Don’t sweat the small stuff; It’s not rocket science; In a hundred years will it matter?; There is nothing more dangerous than a woman with a plan; Fail to plan, plan to fail; If they can send a man to the moon why can’t they send all of them?; The only person I have any control over is me and sometimes the dog, if he’s tired; And my favourite from John Lennon – Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

I used to have a short temper and no patience and was angry all the time. I discovered the reason for this. I was pissed off. Anger is a big emotion and a destructive one. I stopped being angry and got happy when I learned that anger was a six pack made up of fear, pain, frustration, disappointment, despair and feelings of helplessness. If you deal with each part individually it breaks it down into smaller easier to handle emotions and you are much less likely to bounce an apple of off your sister’s head or throw all your husbands shoes out onto the front lawn and turn on the sprinklers.

I also used to have very strong uninformed opinions and could argue at the drop of a hat. Black was white and then (to confuse the enemy) switch and attack that white was black. Then just to be really contrary I would retreat and state that all the world was grey and then defend this position to the death.

I was also a right fighter. Had this need to always be right which is no way to run a relationship. Then someone (I think it was Dr. Phil) asked the question – do you want to always be right or do you want to be happy? I actually no longer find it necessary to discuss endlessly whether or not there is a right way to fold fitted sheets and both my husband and I are very happy about this.

Life is a journey and it is short so you really can’t afford to burn daylight. Have to figure out what you really want. And of course if you can afford it. Ha! I have an incurable disease and an expiry date stamped on my ass. I can honestly say that nothing that has happened to me in my life before has ever put things into such clear perspective. This really changes your view of the world and changes your priorities and expectations. But you know this has not been an all bad experience. What is is. I really live in the now, now.

Now in the morning when I wake up the first thought in my head is – thank you, I made it- and the second thought is – what can I do today to make my loved one’s lives happy and better? Of course I am not a saint so there have been times when I wake up and the first thought in my head is – thank you, I made it – and the second thought is that I could probably get away with smothering my snoring husband with his pillow by pleading that the meds I am on have affected my judgment and hearing. Whadayathink?

I have Great Expectations for you and me.

I was very casual about it. I wanted it to be special, but nothing was going to prevent me from enjoying my day…. not the marraige commissioner disappearing until the last possible second, not the sudden rain squall on our outdoor ceremony, not the dog barking during the vows, not my own mom missing the family photo shoot (not a picture of her for the whole wedding!), not the caterers forgetting to set out a head table for the wedding party (we had to mill around the guests and didn’t get to even eat a bit), not running out of food before everyone had even gotten there, and all the other little details that did not go as planned…. they were all insignificant when I was there — in the moment — with the love of my life beside me! All the important stuff went exactly right, I married a GOOD man, and here we are 15 years (and 2 babies) later, still trying to keep focused on what’s important and the big picture of being in the NOW… with a plan in place for the future.

PS, I bolt when folks set their expectations high for me too!

I have a like,fondness to anything in direct relationship to the amount of problems it gives me or I have with it.

That includes humans, electronic devices, cars, software etcetera.

Expectations is a big issue for me, too.

I don’t really know what is expected of me by my friends and family. I’ve learned that a lot of people won’t just say what they are thinking… or what is on their agenda…

I do know what I used to expect from my friends and family. I have learned that people are not going to do things as you would do them, just because that’s the way you do things. You learn to work with their ways rather than ‘convert’ them to your ways.

I’ve learned sometimes to just have no expectations at all. Frustrates me to no end at times, but I don’t dwell… I move forward.

Work should be clear on expectations… and for the most part it is… but there is always that odd wrinkle. I refuse to work a 14 hour day just because the Hours Of Service dictates that I can. I am not a machine.

Good luck to all with dealing with, changing, or learning from your own expectations. They can be quite a bugaboo.

Inner peace is worth the effort.