Our Love Affair with STUFF
Posted by Gail | Filed under Life Lessons
Never am I more aware of how much pull STUFF has than when I’m working with a family who are into it up to their armpits, or shopping with Alex. Maybe I’ve reached an age where stuff has lost it’s luster and that’s why I’m so unimpressed. Or maybe it’s because I’ve lost some stuff I thought was important only to realize how unimportant it really was.
So Alex and I are out shopping in Little India. The atmosphere of another “world” is oozing through the stores, and she’s blown away by the dazzle and glitter of a culture that’s so different from her own: very shiny, very colourful, very reasonably priced. There are those beautiful floor pillows in gorgeous greens and blues, yellows, oranges and reds, beaded and bedazzling. The textures of silk and cotton. Little mirrors sewn in amongst folds of sunlight. She wants ‘em. She wants ‘em so bad she can taste ‘em. I nod and smile. Sure honey. Let’s keep looking around.
There was a lot to look around at: jewelry, the saris, incense, henna, sandals bedecked with jewels, never mind the smells and tastes. Alex was fairly giddy with delight. And at no time was I happier that she gets an allowance and has her own money to make her own choices. She walked away with a beautiful necklace, head-dress and earrings set, a lovely skirt, and a handful of henna, pleased as punch. She left the cushions behind because I think she was overwhelmed.
Young adults aren’t the only people who fall so in love with stuff and lose their senses. Take Jack, for example. Jack has a passion for electronics and cars, and loves the “wow” factor. That’s when your stuff makes other people say “wow” and you feel special! Lord love a duck. You’d think after four children and the loss of a first home, Jack would have smarted up. Not so. He’s determined to have everything he sees, and once he gets what he wants, he goes on the hunt for bigger, better, more WOW! Jack is a dope.
Lots of people do what Jack does. They are blown away by the experience of shopping, by the flashing lights, the bright colours, the impression they know they’ll create, and they lose sight of their reality. With credit standing close by just waiting to help make the “gimmies” into the “gotchas” they don’t stand a chance of beating their Shopping Gremlins.
In a society where everything is a’plenty, not shopping takes effort. Not shopping requires conscious choice. And it means looking for the things that make life rich that don’t involve stuff and more stuff. It’s a walk in the great outdoors, appreciating the beauty of sunlight dappling on water. It’s a game of pick-up road-hockey, a swim in the lake, a ride on a bike.
If you’re determined to move your children (and extended family) from STUFF to the things that truly bring joy in life, instead of burying them in more toys or useless crap, consider offering them experiences as gifts. And if the experience you offer – like having a picnic in the park while you watch a free concert or play – involves you, so much the better. You can go to the beach. You can go berry-picking. You can try snow-shoeing through nearby forest or field.
Moving from our obsession with stuff to the things that bring true happiness often means finding a way to connect with others. I’m a hugger. If I don’t get my hugs, I’m a very unhappy puppy. And I find nothing more satisfying that sitting with a girlfriend over a cuppa, chatting my brains out and laughing my head off.
Sometimes when we shop, we’re trying to use the emotional lift we get (yes, our brains reward us for “hunting and gathering”) as a salve for emotional gaps. If your need to buy things – to go shopping – has an emotional basis, you need to learn to deal with the underlying emotions rather than continuing to use shopping as your balm. Experiencing life, getting active, and connecting with friends and family will help. But you may also need to talk to a professional to get to the root of you depression, anxiousness or loneliness.
We’re very good at fooling ourselves into thinking our stuff is important. We tie memories to our stuff. And even if we have something we don’t really use, we hang on to it for sentimental reasons or because of an emotional connection. Stuff is stuff. That’s all. It is life that matters, not the amount of crap you have accumulated. When you start putting the people and your experiences with them ahead of yet one more (name your stuff addiction here), you’re well on your way to being free of the Shopping Gremlins.
At the end of your journey, you’ll look back and remember the things you’ve done, the people you’ve loved, and those who have loved you back, not the stuff you had.
August 25, 2009 at 7:24 am
Prefectly stated Gail…I am not a lover of stuff..not only does it cost you to buy it but then you have to find a space for it and take care of it, my ex loved to spend, when we split I got the house and its contents. I felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff cramed in every nook and cranny! My daughter and Grandaughter are moving out this weekend, she also loves stuff…it is unbelievable how much she has accumulated in her 22 years! Having to pack it all up has been a bit of a shock to her, even she was surprised by the amount. Once they move I will be doing a complete clean out…just thinking about getting rid of the stuff makes me feel like a burden has been lifted!
August 25, 2009 at 8:09 am
And you know the saying, “You can’t take it with you.” (when you move along to the after life)
August 25, 2009 at 9:02 am
The trouble is that when you buy your “stuff” on credit, you don’t get a sense of how much it costs because you haven’t saved for it.
If people had the cash in the bank after months of saving, they would be less inclined to part with it.
I am often amazed by people that have so much stuff they need more “storage”– More room to store more stuff that they won’t remember they have, can’t find and don’t appreciate anymore.
I wonder if our new found sense of frugality (brought on by all the world’s economic woes) will stay for longer than the headlines it brings.
August 25, 2009 at 9:14 am
Beautifully said, Gail…
Interesting experiment: take half of the ’stuff’ out of a room and see how you feel…
We cram so much crap into our lives, when all the good stuff is out there free or nearly free for the experiencing..
August 25, 2009 at 10:06 am
Julie, I love that experiment idea.
Our 2.5 year old daughter is spoiled rotten by her grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. The child has so many toys and clothes it’s disgusting. We finally had enough and asked the family to please, instead of buying her more toys and clothes, to contribute to her university fund. They loved the idea! The only problem is that now they contribute to her university fund and still buy her the “stuff”! I don’t know what to do!!!
August 25, 2009 at 10:07 am
I love talking about stuff! I might be a bit too aggressive on my opinions at time but I strongly dislike stuff. I sometimes walk through stores (especially those gift shops) and look at all the “stuff” that costs money, and emotional energy. When asssessing a “stuff” I ask. Does this or will this add to my life or take away. If it takes away its a no brainer I either don’t get it or get rid of it… its so liberating! By taking away I mean, will I have to dust it, will I be tripping over it, etc etc.
I grew up in a farming family and there was a Christmas that we didn’t have money for the traditional toys extravaganza. Looking back I can see how hard it was on my mom to explain to us that that is all we are getting this year, but that is one of the few Christmas’s that I actually remember. We made gifts for eachother and cards and popcorn string, and baked together. It was a lovely Christmas and I don’t recall many of the gifts I recieved in any of the other years when our family had more money.
A big wake up call for me was when we moved, we wanted to put a lot of out “stuff” into storage to sell the house we were living in. It ended up we didn’t sell quite as quickly as we anticipated and stayed the winter with all of our stuff packed up and stored 9 hours away. Of the truck and trailer load of stuff that was packed away the only two things I missed were the winter outdoor clothing items and the Christmas decorations. That is it. When we finally did move, much of that packed away stuff was immediately given away or trashed. It was lovely!
I don’t understand many of the women (specifically) in my peer group. They talk about an upcoming trip to Edmonton and they know all the sales at all the stores they are hitting before they even get there. They even go so far as to ask me if there are items that I want for them to pick up for me. Albiet kind in thought and offer I politely tell them no as I don’t need anything. As I’m not a fan of shopping I often find this a dead spot in the conversation.
The last anecdote I have about stuff is that it came up in conversation with all those devasting fires hitting the Kelowna area. If we had to evacuate immediately what would you grab from your house. After much pondering the only two items I would grab are my computer (many pictures on it) and my safe with all my important documents. The rest I could walk away from. The only downfall to that is that I would have to go shopping once we were able to set up shop again… but maybe I could get some of my girlfriends to do it for me if I gave them the cash! Laugh!
Love the post Gail and am happy to hear that you didn’t interfere with your daughters youthful exuberance towards aquiring her stuff!
August 25, 2009 at 10:07 am
Sorry that was a long post! Smile.. and have a good day all!
August 25, 2009 at 10:10 am
My husband and I are not excessive spenders on ’stuff’. As I look about our house, I would estimate that 80% of our ’stuff’ gets used on a regular basis. The other 20% include items that I have ‘inherited’ from my father as he looks to declutter his home. My late mother was a lover of shopping.
August 25, 2009 at 10:11 am
I am having this battle with my twins right now. They turn 7 next week and have way too much STUFF and with a birthday party next week they are going to have more STUFF. They want to keep everything! and I mean everything – “But mom its our special XXX!”.
I admit that I am a pack rat but I don’t buy stuff (ok maybe scrapbooking STUFF but I haven’t done that in 3+years – yah me!) – my problem is items that are given to us – for instance items my MIL doesn’t want in her house but believes that since it is an antique that it should be at my house! ugh!
We purged during our major home reno 3 years ago but it is time to do it again! Can’t wait until the kids go back to school :0)
August 25, 2009 at 10:39 am
I’m working on this right now…enjoying all the hype/glitz/glamour, but recognizing it for what it is and not getting sucked in. Instead of buying that gorgeous candle or the throw pillow that’s perfect for fall, I try to go home first…usually have something there that works just as well that I’d forgotten I had, so it’s like new! For free!
I was reading my grade 6 Social Studies text the other day (I’m a teacher) and they were talking about the social changes in Canada between the world wars. One of the major ones was the rise of consumerism, which was defined as…get this: Buying more than the basic necessities of life. Wow, what an eye-opener! I only HAVE to buy the _basic necessities_ of life! Strange to think that there was a time when people created their own ‘extras’ and saved their money for the necessities.
Anyway, it gave me some interesting food for thought, so I thought I’d pass it on!
August 25, 2009 at 10:43 am
oh, and for people with kids who have 500 relatives all giving gifts…do what my friend does. She regularly goes through things and picks out duplicates (or similar toys), toys that are gimmicky (Dora chairs! Dora backpack! Dora doll! etc) or toys that they’ve outgrown but are still in good condition. Sometimes she also includes toys that she doesn’t want to clean up anymore! Those go in a box and I give them to our liason worker at school who distributes them to families who can’t afford their own or uses them to ‘break the ice’ with new families. I live quite a distance away, so she doesn’t have to worry about relatives finding their gifts in the local thrift shop.
August 25, 2009 at 10:45 am
It’s interesting to note that most people complain that the accumulation of stuff is a result of gift giving. I noticed last weekend while visiting my in-laws that there was nowhere to sit in the house because it was so full of gifts, hand me downs and tons of junk. It almost made me sick. I promised myself that I would no longer contribute to this problem by giving them anymore stuff. From now on I am only going to give gifts that are consumable – i.e homemade meals, preserves, bottles of wine, etc.
These days, gift giving really is silly considering we usually buy what we want when we want it.
August 25, 2009 at 11:11 am
I have been very anti-stuff since my parents split up about 6 years ago (after 30 years). My siblings and I ended up being the ones dealing with a garage full of crap, as well as several rooms in the house that were just piled with stuff and more stuff. My brother and I took countless trips to the dump and I vowed to never let it happen to me. I am very careful about what enters my house.
The idea of sentimental attachment to stuff is quite interesting. I have never been attached to stuff, and my parents never were either. So how they accumulated so much is beyond me. They both saw most things as disposable, and I took a lot of this mentality on. Buying more was always better because I had no attachment to my current things.
My husband taught me the value of attaching sentiment to things. I tried for years to replace both his desk and dresser, which he still has from his childhood. But he is extremely attached to them- they work just fine, are made of solid wood, but most importantly, his dad built them for him when he was a little boy. His dad even painted a huge mural on the back of his dresser of puff the magic dragon because dh was afraid of the dark. He is very attached to this dresser, and I only recently decided to stop trying to convince him to replace it because HGTV had convinced me that it was “ugly”. He is like this with so many of the things he keeps- they pretty much all have sentimental value to him. So oddly enough, while I have always thought that I hated “stuff”, *I* was the one who continued to buy and try to upgrade our stuff just to throw out the old stuff, while he was much better at feeling that our current stuff is just fine. I am glad to be a bit more balanced in that area.
It is funny how much the idea of “storage” has become all the rage in home buying and furnishing these days. Everytime I watch HGTV they always talk about how none of the old homes have any storage space… hmmm… maybe we should take note of this more often!
August 25, 2009 at 12:07 pm
We have a 7 soon to be 8 year old daughter and every 6 months or so we go through her things with her and she pick out enough toys to fill one sometimes 2 bankers boxes which we donate to salvation army. The general rule in our home is if you have not used it in 6 months and have not looked for it you probably don’t need it. She actually enjoys this de-cluttering because she likes the idea of giving to those less fortunate than us. I have also asked for family members to contribute to her education fund, give a donation to a charity or give gifts of self intead of getting me gifts for my birthday and Christmas. Last year I got a donation to a charity for Christmas, it was great.
August 25, 2009 at 12:10 pm
One Christmas I did an experiment where I asked that we only give each other gifts that were consumable experiences…. it was great! Movie tickets, swimming passes, homemade treats, tickets to a play and a spa gift certificate were some of the things exchanged that year. And they didn’t take up any room in the house after they were experienced!
I loved getting my Gail hug when you came to Nanimo, Gail. Not only was it an entertaining and educational presentation (the room really perked up when you started handing out things for right answers!) but the personal touch of the hug just made me connect with what you were saying even more. I respect you and your values, I think of you as a friend-separated-by-circumstance… not a stalker, a Gail supporter! LOL
Stuff is a tough one… I still get the “gotta-have-its” so my remedy is to not put myself in those shops! I was a hard-core packrat for most of my life, and old habits die hard. I have all the issues: guilt, sentimental attachment, unfinished dreams….. but the louder voice is becoming the one that feels trapped and suffocated by all the stuff. Unfortunately, I get all gung-ho to clear, but then the emotions all come back for each item and I get off-track. I am better though, I am not aquiring NEW things as much! Gifts are a killer.
August 25, 2009 at 12:11 pm
“not shopping takes effort” – very true.
August 25, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I admit to having stuff that I was thinking about getting rid of, but after my grandmother passed away i decided against it. Mostly because some stuff was given to my oldest son, Her only gift she gave to my youngest was money, she sent it with my mom when I was waiting to give birth to him. She didn’t know if he was a boy or a girl. So the few things that she had given us in her final months and years. I just don’t have the heart to part with.
The boys probably couldn’t care less, but iguess its me sentemental mommy.
I can tend to buy too much stuff, the key is getting rid of older stuff that your newer stuff is taking place of.
for example, as a pampered chef consultant the company often comes up with newer products that are usually an improvement as well as discontinuing other products. So everytime something new comes out I usually buy it at half price as consultants can do when it comes out in sample packages.
I just have to remember to get rid of the older products and products i don’t use anymore.
August 25, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Gail has said that you are entitled to everything that you can afford as long as you don’t go into debt. The quest for stuff put me into debt but sometimes, for some people, stuff isn’t all bad.
I have a friend/relative who is financially secure. And by that I mean rich. She is the only person I know who has this designation. She inherited money but through one of the worst ways – sudden widowhood – but also had a very difficult, tragic early life and worked hard for 30 year. She has no family left. She lives well and travels extensively but she got bored and became a shop-a-holic and you have never seen such stuff in your life. On the last lunch/shopping excursion that we went on together she was contemplating buying yet another pair of shoes when something happened.
We were waiting our turn because the sales clerks were all running around helping the moms and kids buy shoes for back to school. We started talking and I just idly commented – “I remember when my parents had to save and scrap together the money to buy new shoes for us kids and how exciting it was. My sister would walk stiff legged for weeks just so as not to crack the leather”. She said – “yes those were tough times. I never had a new pair as a kid – always hand me downs.” I said – this is an expensive store so I guess these parents aren’t scraping but I bet there are a lot of kids who still never get new shoes.”
Well, my friend is still a shop-a-holic and she will never stop because it gives her such pleasure – but she has now changed her ways. She buys and spends for others. Has put together whole households worth of stuff for refugees, fire victims, the homeless, clothes and shoes and school supplies for kids all over the world and keeps food banks and women’s shelters supplied with food and sundries. And she is the best bargain hunter ever – learned on a trip to Morocco. And heaven help the manufacturers – she has discovered wholesale. And most of all that useless stuff at home has disappeared. I never realized her place was so big! She discovered e-bay and recycled her stuff into funds for new stuff. I have never seen her happier or in better physical shape. She could shop for the Olympics and break all mall records.
August 25, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Maureen,
What a wonderful thing for your friend to do. As you say, she is still a shop-aholic, but now it is for a cause and just for her.
August 25, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Yes, she is an amazing person. Always was but in a different way. The way that she changed and started viewing the world has had the same (but more limited) affect on me. Having money is great, a privilege but there are no hard and fast rules about what you are supposed to do with it. We all make our choices and no one actually has the right to criticize. Except your Mom of course but that is in the DNA.
Sometimes I think that the rich just don’t understand their selfishness or even see the options. Other times I think they get a raw deal. For instance Oprah is always being criticized for not doing more. It is almost like people think she has that billion stashed under her mattress collecting dust. None of us actually knows how much she does with her money and giving to and supporting charity work is only one part. Her money is invested so it is interwoven in more things than we the public will ever know. When she buys and renovates and decorates a mansion people are earning from her spending. Her money creates jobs and those jobs have a fanning out effect. During this time of recession my friend is a one woman stimulus package as well as a generous patron. She often shops in smaller stores and uses smaller businesses just to spread some of the wealth around. But she also bargains for the best deals. One reason the rich are rich is because they are not foolish with money.
But you don’t have to buy diamonds to feel rich. I remember once years ago she returned from India with the most beautiful carving I have ever seen. When she was unpacking it I was just raving and she was really indifferent. I know that she made a special and very complex side trip in order to go and buy this carving so I could not understand this attitude. A few months ago she phoned me and was so excited she was practically gabbling. I was finally able to make out that she had bought something. Turns out it was 500 packages of diapers from one of those liquidation companies at less than half the retail price. Stuff has to have meaning or it is just stuff.
I believe I am at the same stage of life as Gail. Stuff has lost its luster and appeal. I can remember a time when I was practically hysterical running all over town trying to find just the right table cloth and napkins to go with my new dishes, silverware and crystal. And you would have thought that I was facing banishment from our social circle if the match was not absolutely perfect. Social circle??? Ha! Most just laughed at the electric beer bottle opener – and used their teeth or the edge of my kitchen counter. When I look back I see that no one cared at all about my perfect table setting but oh my – what fun we had and how we laughed.
But then again – I have had my stuff. Young people haven’t. I just hope that no one has to learn about stuff and debt the hard way like we did. When Gail does her math thing it is always surprising how a credit purchase ends up costing so much. I know for a fact that I have sweaters that I charged on sale that ended up costing three times the full retail price. I would never have paid full retail but I was happy to pay sale price plus full interest for ten year. Now that is dumb.
August 25, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I’m not really a stuff person but I am an experience shopper. Those experiences sometimes add up!
August 25, 2009 at 4:48 pm
As someone who recently changed her email signature to “Less stuff. More experiences.” this post strikes a chord with me.
Some things we’ve done with our kids (7 and 4.5) and “stuff”:
-purged, asking them if they would buy a new “X” from their allowance money if this “X” went missing. If the answer is no, pass it along.
- explained that our small-by-today’s-standards house is out of space, so if you want new things (cool toys, books, DVDs, shirts, whatever) that means other stuff has to be passed along
- put a limit on our Xmas shopping. For our boys, hubby and I do one “thing” gift (physical, concrete item) each, and the rest are “experience” gifts: zoo passes, tickets to children’s theatre, a homemade coupon for a trip to the dinosaur museum or swimming, etc. They don’t have to cost money–a coupon to teach my eldest how to make pancakes was also well-received. They get enough stuff from other relatives and friends, in all honestly, and have better memories from the things we do together than from THINGS themselves.
- take the family away for a birthday weekend instead of a traditional children’s party. We did this when my son turned 7 this year, staying overnight in Drumheller and visiting the Tyrrell (dino) museum. This was his choice rather than a party this year, and he loved it.
August 25, 2009 at 5:44 pm
I love the idea of giving “consumable” or experiential gifts for Christmas!
I know my mother hates Christmas shopping and has been looking for ways to stop the madness. (although I have to admit I love to shop for the perfect present!!). I think she will take this idea and run, so I will borrow your idea Pol and put it to my family. Thanks.
The last Christmas we had with my older sister in 2007(she was dying of cancer) we simply put together book wish lists and everyone picked a title from your book wish list. That was fun for all ages and less costly and less time consuming.
This week I have cleaned out closets because my neighbour wants a garage sale. I was slightly ashamed at the amount of clothing/stuff I have amassed. Some will go to the garage sale or Sally Ann, other stuff is certainly nice enough to go to the consignment shop.
So maybe I will recoup some of my idly spent cash after my sales!!
August 25, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Experiences can cost money too. That is my particular debt problem.
August 25, 2009 at 6:43 pm
[...] Our Love Affair with STUFF « gailvazoxlade.com [...]
August 25, 2009 at 6:51 pm
I am in a purging stuff mode. The problem is that with 2 very young children the stuff just keeps piling on in spite of my efforts. I’m hoping that if I get in the habit now, though, eventually it will pay off. I won’t need diapers and potties and car seats and high chairs forever, right?
August 25, 2009 at 8:03 pm
I thought I was moving earlier this year, so I finally sorted through 18 bags of “stuff” and got it sorted into one bag of paper and things to keep and then 5 bags of books to give to my local book swap place and 12 big garbage bags of things to give to charity.
I also boxed up my “spare” shoes, bags, linen, cd’s and dvd’s and took them to my parents. Well, it’s been a few months now and I haven’t missed anything I stored with them, so in a few weeks I will be heading up to their place to arrange for everything to go.
I don’t have the patience or follow through for eBay, and am happy for someone less fortunate than me to get these things for free or very cheap. I just want them GONE!!!!!
It is so freeing as well to know that I can have spontaneous visitors and have them into any room of the house and not have to move things around or stop them going somewhere.
Sarah (Australia)
August 25, 2009 at 8:29 pm
This is so true. A member of my immediate family is obsessed her with stuff and is a hoarder. She shops to feel good and get the temporary high, but her home is so filled with crap that you can’t even open the front door. Our family has not been to her home in years because it is uninhabitable. Yet, every time I talk to her, she is hitting a sale or shopping somewhere. Sadly, if you ask her what the most important thing in the world is, she will say her family…unfortunately she is alienating us with her hoarding and excessive spending. Actions speak louder than words, so clearly the things and the shopping are more important to her at this point. Too bad she doesn’t read Gail’s blog!!
August 25, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Hello Gail, I’m a long time fan, first time commenter. Your post reminded me of a short film your readers might be interested in seeing. It’s called The Story Of Stuff, and it talks about where most of our stuff comes from and more importantly, what happens to all of it when we get rid of it. You can see it for free at http://www.thestoryofstuff.com, and for people who might be on the fence about taking a different approach to the acquisition of material goods, this movie is sure to help you make a firm decision. Our family has almost 100% given up on purchasing new things (other than food) due to this film and the recommended reading that goes along with. Please keep up the great work!!
August 26, 2009 at 8:19 am
Maureen, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your two postings. Thank you for sharing with us.
August 26, 2009 at 10:35 am
Christy, what a beautiful post. Very well put, thank you.
I think this line is so true:
“it means looking for the things that make life rich that don’t involve stuff and more stuff. It’s a walk in the great outdoors, appreciating the beauty of sunlight dappling on water. It’s a game of pick-up road-hockey, a swim in the lake, a ride on a bike.”
What will make your life rich today, besides your stuff?
August 26, 2009 at 11:12 am
Such a timely post as usual Gail! I have been a “STUFF” getter. And now that I”m moving into an apartment to begin sharing my life with a man I love I’ve realized that our 1000 sq. ft 2 bedroom will be overrun by all my stuff!!
As most of it has been buried in my mother’s house since I’ve moved back from University (to start a career that at first didn’t allow me the income to get a small space in Toronto/Scarborough and afford it) It has been in the house untouched in quite some time. Having to pack up 2 places to move to one place has really brought to light that I have more than enough STUFF and I don’t need anything.
I am looking forward to packing it all up, unloading the essentials into the new place, and then having my first, very large Garage sale!! It’s funny that I am looking more forward to unloading my stuff than figuring out what I have and finding uses for it!!
August 26, 2009 at 11:46 am
[...] about Gail Vaz-Oxlade’s blog post yesterday, Our Love Affair with Stuff, prompted me to share something that’s been on my mind for a while [...]
August 30, 2009 at 9:22 pm
In June my daughters turned 7 and 4 years old and we have been stressing about the amount of ’stuff’ they have already acquired in their little lives. With their family alone (parents, grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc.) they would receive about 7 gifts each. Then they were both having a “friends” birthday party as well.
My husband and I felt that this was excessive and we started discussing the idea of charity with them. We researched some options in our town with the girls and they decided that the local food bank was where they wanted to donate.
On their birthday invitations they asked for a non-perishable food item in place of a gift. With the 2 parties we ended up collecting 2 full rubbermaid containers of food and baby items for the food bank.
The next week we took the donations in and the girls were asked to help put their items onto the shelves. There were people shopping for food at the same time and the girls saw first hand how important a food bank is in the community. My oldest was very shocked at how many people needed the food we took in and has been adding items to a box in our basement to donate again.
It was a very rewarding experience for our family and the girls didn’t miss the ’stuff’ but instead felt moved to continue to help others.
September 30, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Great blog, Gail! I just love watching your show!
A suggestion to Julie #2’s comment:
What about donating some of the toys that your family gives your daughter, to a charity? I’m sure there are tons of little girls and boys out there that would love to have new toys. Also, every year Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto holds a toy drive….you could go through some of your daughter’s old toys and donate them to Sick Kids toy drive.
October 29, 2009 at 6:25 am
[...] Never am I more aware of how much pull STUFF has than when I’m working with a family who are into it up to their armpits, or shopping with Alex. Maybe I’ve reached an age where stuff has lost it’s luster and that’s why I’m so unimpressed. Or maybe it’s because I’ve lost some stuff I thought was important only to realize how unimportant it really was Read the original post: Our Love Affair with STUFF [...]