Comments on: Talking About Money

By: Sandy

Sandy — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 05:02:55 +0000

Amy cut back on your Grocery budget try cheaper cuts of meat or stick some vegetarian meals in your week with 2 little ones $400 a fortnight is huge for food I have 2 teens and spend $200 a fortnight on food so can definitely see that your budget can be cut back here.
Birthday presents for Children don’t have to be expensive just thoughtful If you cut out some of the competitiveness that happens with other parents sometimes I made for this age home made play dough put in tubs with cookie cutters and a small rolling pin was always a popular gift they loved it.

By: New Mortgage Info » Blog Archive » Talking About Money « gailvazoxlade.com

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:02:33 +0000

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By: Liz

Liz — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 02:40:18 +0000

Sarah F…lol…I can relate – that is completely MY husband too! We’re pretty much squeeking by on one income with a baby at home (trying to get an emergency fund going while paying down our $20,000 in student loans and $7000 car loan) and I could swear he thinks that we should be living the high-life on our net household income of just under $3000/month. I have tried to engage him in the finances on a zillion occasions and am at the point where I just have to shake my head and laugh when he conspicuously leaves the sale flyer out, open to the page with the Big Screen TV’s…keep dreaming darling!

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By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:45:54 +0000

Need Ideas/Input
In general I think that we are doing ok..yet our visa keeps creeping up.. I think that we are living fairly “tight” (relative to our income) but that must not be true if the the visa balance keeps growing right?? I feel like I have reviewed our budget at least a million times..:) but I am thinking that maybe someone else can see area’s I am way out of whack on..
So forgive the length of the post but I will give you all the details so you can get the whole picture:

my husband and I are 33 and 34 respectively with two kids 6 and 4.
We both work full time- he as an electrician ($92,000) and me as sales administrator ($44000) (these are gross totals)
I also receive about $10000-12000 per year in quarterly bonuses- the bonuses are quaranteed but the amount fluctates so I don’t consider it as part of my monthly income- this money is usually used to fund christmas or the summer vacation or pay the visa..
we live in Calgary- so $$ are a little higher than maybe some smaller centers
we are paid biweekly and have RRSP’s deducted from our cheques that are matched dollar for dollar by our companies – I have 4% removed from each cheque and he has $50 from each cheque

Liabilities:
1011 Mort -Biweekly (we have a $280k mortgage – house is worth is $400)
693.42 – childcare-biweekly
400-Groc Biweekly
200 Gas – biweekly ( I drive about 60 km each day to work)
200 Spending money biweekly- we each get 100 for two weeks that is ours to spend- this is also where we take money for family entertainment- rent a movie, go for ice cream etc
300- visa
100- emergency fund
100 RESP -monthly
175 Shaw cable- this includes phone, internet and cable ( I do need high speed internet as I work 3 mornings from home a week)
442 van lease payment (we have 8 months left )
200 Enmax- which includes water,sewer and electricity
94-Direct Energy- which is Natural Gas
255 Insurance- this includes house, and vehicle
177- Property Taxes
130-Bell Mobility- cell phone for Hubby and I

It seems to be the “life” stuff that gets us turning to the visa.. we have lot’s of family (lots of divorces and remarriages) so it seems there are always lot’s of birthdays, mothers day, father day christmas etc.. and my oldest is now in school so the onslaught of bday parties has begun ( he had 6in the month of may alone) . I have gotten to the point where I am only giving gifts from Christmas and bday but I feel like with our income we should be able to work these things in better..

There may be more “fat” to trim from the budget that I can see but I also struggle with the budgeting for items like clothes, gifts, car repairs etc.. the stuff that is not needed every month and seems to be the things that end up on the visa..

By: Tamara

Tamara — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:21:55 +0000

My partner (common law husband) and I still have separate bank accounts, and he “pays” me once a month to share in the cost of the mortgage, car payment and bills. We are both in our 30s and have jobs we enjoy. We make about $70,000 combined a year (each contributing nearly 1/2), and have a weekly mortgage of 136.00, a monthly car payment of $400.00 (0% interest) that will be paid off in 1 more year, and credit card debt of $5000.00. From a debt perspective, we are doing okay, but from a saving perspective we are up the creek. We both have jobs with employer pension plans and I have some RRSPs, but we have virtually no emergency savings, or splurge savings, and are basically living pay cheque to pay cheque. I have started to put 100.00 a month into a tax free savings account to s-l-o-w-l-y build an emergency savings.
We both really like to travel, but we can’t seem to save to be able to actually go anywhere. After watching many episodes of TDDUP and reading some financial blogs, I decided to sit down with my partner and talk about money. I suggested a few things like using the jar method to keep track of our spending, or going on a “spending hiatus” for a month just to see how much we could save in one month if we eliminated all “wants” from our spending. He is resistant to any ideas I have thrown out. I want to tackle our credit card debt and lack of savings head on, but he seems oblivious to the issue. I have even applied for some part time work so that I will have some additional income to put towards debt repayment until that credit card debt is gone.
My question is – How do I get my partner engaged in the process of reducing our spending and starting to save for emergencies and even future travel or major purchases? What can I do to make him see that our current financial situation is making me stressed out and frustrated?

By: stamperitis

stamperitis — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:15:31 +0000

Since watching the show starting early last year I realized that the reason hubby and I had no money was because we were spending it as fast as it came in. My husbands earnings are hourly and there are times when he works a ton of overtime for weeks on end and makes a lot. Then there are times when he works no overtime at all and yet because he’s tired from all the overtime he then deserves to be able to enjoy what he made and he was spending it all. Due to health issues and that fact that he wants me to do everything to do with house and family I don’t work outside the home. It just isn’t worth what I can make part time.

Fast forward to now. We have paid our insurance cash, our RRSP contributions cash, new shed for the yard cash, kitchen reno cash have savings in the bank for a holiday this year for our 25th anniversary and a healthy cushion in the bank for when hubby is not working during the vacation (his vacation pay is on every cheque but we never saved it before!) and an emergency fund. Very different from when we borrowed for our RRSP, borrowed for any home improvements, etc.

Now the problem is my husband is seeing this emergency money as a car fund. So I’ll have to delegate a portion and then keep it going. Otherwise he just may go back to his old ways of spending it all as he makes it. Thanks Gail!

By: Saving Money on Groceries « gailvazoxlade.com

Saving Money on Groceries « gailvazoxlade.com — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:45:31 +0000

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By: *pol

*pol — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 18:23:23 +0000

My sister and I are very open with each other about the whole money thing.

We are polar opposites about what the value of a dollar might be, but I think we are good for each other to see “how the other half lives”. She is in her big house full of pretty decor and designer clothes and well-dressed kids and shiny vehicles, and my house is modest with hand me down and thrift store clothes/furniture and very old vehicles. (BUT we do enjoy a garage full of dirtbikes). My sister also sees debt as okay, and they work their 2 high-hours jobs to maintain the lifestyle that they love… my husband and I loathe debt and would rather do without than pay any interest (we are pros at delayed gratification now!). My focus has always been to try to be happier with less so I can work part time from home while the kids are young. She works harder so they can have their heart’s desire while the kids are young.
Both of us are happy with it, even though we are so different. And we talk about it all the time… sometimes we disagree, she thinks I am a tightwad, and I think she is crazy… and she thinks because we have less debt, and I stay home, that we should have more disposable income than she does (meanwhile her household brings in DOUBLE what mine does, so I think she should have more savings!)…. it’s funny now that I think about it. One thing we both agree on…. our mom is definitely a shop-a-holic and we both worry about her golden years — so we talk about that too — maybe we should start talking to our MOM about it?

By: ComputerHero

ComputerHero — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:21:16 +0000

I’ve made my friends and family very uncomfortable in the last year or so because I’ve taken to talking about money freely and openly, even in groups.

I’ve decided to end the silence. I talk up Gail, but more importantly I share the lessons we’ve learned and the progress we made, and give tips to those who are in various situations. A few friends have found it so uncomfortable they don’t like to come over, but that’s okay, that’s their choice. I’m out of the money closet now and I’m not going back. Money is the single biggest constructive/destructive force today in our society and we hide it, I won’t because I don’t want my friends to suffer any more.

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 09:43:39 +0000

I admit when I was a college student I fell into credit card pitfall. I ended up with 5 cards, maxed them out, but paid them off and closed 4 of 5 in under a year. I’ve had one card since 2000.
Sorry… forgot to say great post – can’t wait to read your next one!

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:12:15 +0000

I admit when I was a college student I fell into credit card pitfall. I ended up with 5 cards, maxed them out, but paid them off and closed 4 of 5 in under a year. I’ve had one card since 2000.

By: Diana

Diana — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:36:52 +0000

I think it is necessary to be open with your spouse about money.
I think it is good to not try to keep up with the Joneses, if you can’t afford things then be honest (and not ashamed) with your children/friends/family/yourself.
I think it is great to share money saving ideas, etc.

I don’t think you need talk about money to satisfy other people’s curiosity about your lifestyle.

By: EchoLake

EchoLake — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:23:39 +0000

My husband and I have always been very good with talking about money. Since very early on in our relationship – the money has always been ours – not his or mine. We have lived on no money (both of us in University and living off student loans) and we have lived with good incomes – living with no money taught us to live within our means – and we have always held to that.

We would love to talk about money with family – but it always seems to be such a touchy subject. Maybe one day things will change. For now, we drop hints that we are open to talking about it.

By: Green Monster

Green Monster — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:33:18 +0000

Not long ago Gail wrote about “comparing” ourselves to others- I really took this one to heart becuase I find I do this a fair amount- I look at others around (family, friends etc) and wonder how do they do it? How do they have 2 new cars, a new house, one income, vacations etc etc.. I beat myself up becuase I percieve that my husband and I are not doing something right because those around us have all these things and we don’t .. the light bulb finally came on when I started thinking more about it.. i have no idea first what sort of debt these people carry – they could be living the high life while drowning in debt and second which seemed to be my aha moment was that I have to think about their journey prior to where I know them today..
I spent alot of wasted time envying a friend who I thought was doing so good finanically based solely on their hard work and financially savy ways until I found out that about 6 years ago they had received a $500,000 buy out from the husbands company.. so that’s why they are the same age as me-but mortgage free, 2 new cars, and 2 -3 vacations each year.. The envy is totally my issue and something I am working on..:) but its a good lesson to remeber that although on the surface you might think all things are equal you don’t normally know the entire story. Same can be said for judging people you think should have more- student loan debt, a job loss a few years back that set them back ..whatever it may be..it’s not always a lack of or abundance of money management skills
I would love to see our society become more open about money but if that were to happen- how could you bury your head in the sand and pretend that you really can afford that Hummer even though you have to use your LOC to put gas in it each week..