Comments on: Giving Care — Part 2

By: P.T Jose

P.T Jose — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:09:40 +0000

My son is affected with tuberous scelrosis aged 20. Where do I get information about giving him better care and comfort.

By: AnnieA

AnnieA — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:27:52 +0000

When I read the caregiver burnout list I immediately thought of a friend who is impoverishing herself over a sick cat. She’s has no husband or children and nobody will be supporting her financially should she get sick. If anyone has any suggestions on how to talk to her about financial choices that would be great.

Friend of the Cat Lady

By: kroozle

kroozle — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:17:27 +0000

Thank you so much, Gail – they’ll be a wonderful resource!

By: Gail

Gail — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 08:19:02 +0000

Kroozle, please do use them in any way you think will help. g

By: Katie

Katie — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 02:44:34 +0000

My sisters and I cared for my Mom who had ALS ( Lou Gehrigs Disease) and my father who was diagnosed with Colon cancer around the same time. It was a very difficult time. My sisters and i took care of them around the clock and shared the responsibilities. Who new that at such an early age we were in our mid to late twenty’s that we would carry this emotional weight, and end uplosing both our parents in less then two years time. Although it was difficult and it meant a sacrifice for the time being with respect to our jobs, education and social life. We would never trade the opportunity we had to serve and take care of them. Honestly, only God knows how many days you have on this earth so although it may be hard to remeber at the time life is full of seasons. Enjoy each season to the fullest because they do not last forever.

By: kroozle

kroozle — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:13:55 +0000

Gail, I work for a charitable organization that provides day programs for seniors affected by dementia; in fact, one of our staff members was hired specifically to give support to their caregivers, and I’ll be directing her to this website to look at these excellent posts. One question: given that many of our caregivers are seniors, and do not access the internet would it be possible to print these out (with attribution, naturally) to distribute to them? One thing I like particularly is that your posts, while comprehensive, are short enough and clear enough to be quickly read and understood by someone who is almost too exhausted to function.

Thanks for your wisdom!

By: ElderGuru.com

ElderGuru.com — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:36:21 +0000

Caregiving, and our aging population in general, is the big elephant in the room in national politics and policy. Meeting the challenge of caring for the Baby Boomer generation will be significant.

By: *pol

*pol — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 00:07:20 +0000

Okay, I had to laugh at the list…. ever since having my own children I could easily answer yes to almost ALL of those questions! I imagine taking care of my Mother in law (with MS) will only compound the anxiety. Even 12 years into this parenting thing, I keep wondering if it ever gets easier? My MIL is so kind she always says that she knows I am doing a good job parenting because I care about whether I am doing a good enough job. If only I believed it was that easy! Having a learning disabled kid that is also very BRIGHT (not a paradox, just ask anyone with one at home) is not an easy gig, but it’s never boring either!

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:42:02 +0000

I can speak from personally experience with private employers, they don’t rank children caring for their parents as high as parents and children. My former employer learnt the hard way that denying me time off to assist my mother whom I live with when she was injured was a violation with EI and the Ontario Human Righs Commission.

Employers need to realize that people are caring for aging parents, and not all of us are 40,50 or 60. I’m in my 30s and have been doing this since i was 20.

By: What Do I Do About Ex-wife Giving Kids Strong Medication To Put Them To Sleep Every Night?

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:54:15 +0000

[...] Giving Care — Part 2 « gailvazoxlade.com [...]

By: Diana

Diana — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:23:47 +0000

Sparky,
You certainly deserve your nickname!!
I cannot imagine your life.
My hat is off to you and your husband for making it through all your struggles and barriers together successfully.
Your philosophy of picking your battles and limiting stressors is perfect for not only caregivers, but those high maintenance families that complain they don’t have a minute to themselves.
Good luck and good health to your family.

By: Home Care News » Blog Archive » Giving Care — Part 2 « gailvazoxlade.com

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:18:59 +0000

[...] See the rest here: Giving Care — Part 2 « gailvazoxlade.com [...]

By: psychsarah

psychsarah — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:02:28 +0000

One other thing-if your company has an EAP (employee assistance program/plan) they sometimes have consultants that can provide support for childcare/eldercare issues or counselors that can provide the caregiver some emotional support. These are completely confidential from your employer/HR and are part of your benefits package. Worth looking into, as they are of no cost to you, and finances can certainly be a major stressor when caregiving.

By: psychsarah

psychsarah — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:00:21 +0000

I’d like to echo what Gail has to say here-Take care of yourself! I totally get that it’s not that simple, but it has to be a priority, or you can’t continue to be well as a caregiver. A lot of research (including my own dissertation) demonstrates that caregivers (in this case of those with dementia) had worse physical health and mental health outcomes than non-caregivers of similar demographics. The stress WILL take a toll in one way or another, and and Gail’s suggestions are bang on perfect.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:58:52 +0000

I personally have not lived the role of complete caregiver….yet but this is on my mind constantly as my parents are aging and it seems there is a new medical test to be done every year that shows that they truly are getting older every year and they are stubborn too which I know will make it worse when the time comes. I like to think and plan for the future so I have brought up various caregiver issues and have asked about how they are doing financially and physically and what decisions they would like made in the future for themselves so I can understand their needs and wants better but they refuse to think about or even go there with me…we are all getting older and I recognize this at 30…how do I get my parents who are 65-70 years old to realize this too and to try and help them start the planning process now when they are in denial?