What Is Your Time Worth?
Posted by Gail | Filed under Thinking Out Loud
As our lives have gotten busier, we’re finding it harder and harder to get everything we want to do done. Between long hours at work, schlepping the kids to their various activities, and keeping the house neat and clean, something has to give. Usually it’s our personal time. But for some people, it’s money. Faced with too many things to do, people have been “outsourcing” their chores just to get a good night’s sleep.
People pay to have their houses cleaned, their lawns cut, their driveways shoveled, their hair coloured, their coffee brewed. We order in or drive-thru because we don’t have the time to cook, never mind clean up. We send clothes to the cleaners because we don’t have time to iron. And we pay people to clean our carpets, paint our rooms, and fix what we break.
So what’s your time worth, and how many of your chores do you outsource either because you’ve run out of time, or because you just hate doing them?
Once upon a time managers had secretaries to do their typing and make their telephone calls. I distinctly remember being at a meeting at a big bank when one senior executive turn to another and said, “I’ll have my girl call your girl.” (I still cringe when I think of it.) Email and voice-mail did away with personal assistants. But even as the corporate world was trimming back on helpers, individual families were ramping up their outsourcing to cope with the greater demands at work.
Outsourcing became a significant engine for our economic growth creating new employment where no such categories had previously existed. As people became more focused on work, and lives became busier, we needed other people to take the load off and a whole new category of business owner was born: the personal service consultant! I’ve met people who cut hair in your home so you don’t have to show up for an appointment. I’ve met people who walk other people’s dogs because those folks can’t make it home in time to relieve their pooches’ bladders in time to avoid a carpet mess. And I’ve met people who shop for clients who can’t find time (or energy) to hit the stores for themselves or their family and friends.
Once upon the time it was only the very wealthy who could afford to hire chauffeurs, maids, gardeners, cooks, and laundresses to do their bidding. In some countries, labour is so cheap that the middle class routinely has people sweep their doorsteps, cook their food and do their laundry. In North America, these people have evolved from being servants to small business owners selling their time and effort to multiple clients, and building their businesses until they have their own employees to do the grunt work.
And what’s the risk to these small business owners in The New Economy. After all, with frugality being rewarded socially and economically, many of us are coming to see these services as indulgences rather than necessities. I’ve heard from more than a few friends who are in the biz of making other people’s lives easier that business is down. It’s as if everyone is holding their breathes to see what happens next.
Maybe it isn’t worth $40 to have Fido’s hair professionally washed and cut anymore. Perhaps $50 to have your home swept and dusted just doesn’t seem like it’s worth it. And if you can save $60 a week by sitting down with your kids to do their homework, as opposed to shipping them off to a tutor, couldn’t that $60 be redirected to their post-secondary education fund?
Is it realistic to think that a family can function with both parents working full-time plus, while keeping all the at-home balls in the air without the help of outside resources? After all, in the traditional model where mom stayed home and dad worked, there was plenty of time to cook from scratch, darn socks and iron sheets! Today, cooking at home means popping a prepared lasagna into the over, holey socks are turned into dusters and sheets never come close to an iron.
As y’all know, I love to cook and I’m fine cleaning up after myself. I like doing laundry. And I’m good at keeping things organized. I’ve painted rooms, wall-papered and cut my own dog’s hair (when she was still with me… I’m dog-free now and missing it!) I dislike vacuuming and dusting, and am not particularly diligent with yard-duties since this is the first time they’ve been on my plate.
So how do you cope? What are you prepared to spend money on to free up time, or to create more balance in your life? And what have you stopped spending money on because you just can justify it any more?
June 25, 2009 at 7:02 am
Thanks for that post, Gail. I live in the country with about an acre of lawn and we cut it with a push mower because there are too many trees and levels to use a riding mower. It takes almost three hours to do everything. I can’t even begin to count how many of my friends tell me to get a lawn service and forget about it. But it would cost $100 to do a complete cut and trim around everything! So there’s no way I can justify that. They tell me I’m cheaping out on something that would be worth it but I find cutting the lawn therapeutic – not so much on the really hot days though. The people who read your blogs all seem to be quite sensible about money and I’d like to hear what the rest of you think about this. Am I being cheap?
June 25, 2009 at 7:45 am
I’m out of my home at 6am and return in the evening. Living in a condo, I don’t have to worry about the outside. As for the inside, I am so happy with my dishwasher and washer/dryer that everything else that needs to be done is easy. I have a Rumba (robotic vacuum) that I put on and it takes care of cleaning the floors (yes, it actually works). I do love housework on the weekends (put on the music and go). I live in a small place so it’s quick to clean…and then I’m free to do what I want.
My time is valuable and the condo life is suiting me just fine.
June 25, 2009 at 8:19 am
Although I have a very handy husband who is willing to do a lot of the things we need doing, I have no issues paying for good quality work. Our front yard needed to be landscaped and driveway installed. We paid ALOT of money to have it installed. Could my husband have done it? – of course he could have but since he is self employed and works from home, it was worth the money to have someone come and complete it in 4 days and have it looking good because it is their business to do it and do it well. Time my husband would have spent working on it would have taken away from making money and managing his business and likely would have taken him WEEKS to complete it as he he often gets distracted by his business when trying to do tasks around the house.
We are very pleased with the work done in the front of our house and it helps to look good when you have clients coming to our home.
June 25, 2009 at 8:22 am
We have to outsource because of my hubby’s health problems ( he can no longer do heavy work, and walking across the yard gets him winded.) I have a cleaner come every two weeks, as I’m out of the house 13 hours a day (it used to be once a week, but I’ve cut back to save money.) We have a teenager come to do heavy work like stacking firewood and shoveling gravel for renovation projects we’d started before DH’s heart attack. We also have a tutor for my daughter who has trouble concentrating in school. So yeah, my life is pretty outsourced! It’s costing me on average $250 a month to have the help.
June 25, 2009 at 8:30 am
We rarely hire anything out. If it’s something we know how to do – we do it, if it’s something we can figure out – we figure it out and do it too. It’s a work ethic we were taught growing up. We’ve done all the renovations in our house on our own, we clean it ourselves etc etc. I am an avid declutterer so am always looking for things to sell or get rid of that we aren’t using anymore – this makes things like cleaning much easier and faster. My husband says cutting the grass, shovelling the driveways and such is a form of exercise so he doesn’t mind doing it regularly. We also live in an extended household where my mom moved in with us (so she wasn’t alone, because it was less stressful financially for her and so she could help us out by watching our children during the day when I returned to university) and so we don’t even ever have a non-family member babysitter. Trying to live simply, having close family, and not being afraid to try things on our own keep us from hiring out.
June 25, 2009 at 8:33 am
I’ve often considered outsourcing things like house cleaning, but when I look at the cost vs. how much time it really takes me, I figure I’m better off either throwing the money towards debt or towards something we’d enjoy, like a decent meal out once a month or something.
For gardening and yard work, as well as cooking, we both enjoy it. Yeah, it’s an hour of flower and vegetable watering a night, but our yard is absolutely beautiful and I get to reap the benefits of a few tomatoes, lettuce, snow peas, and herbs from a little bit of cathartic garden time.
I did outsource someone to kick my butt in gear for getting back into shape, but that was something I’d do 10 times over again! If only I could’ve just outsource someone else’s body with my head!
June 25, 2009 at 8:36 am
I think that over the last few years “busyness” has become a sort of snobbery.
The reason our parents had time to do things at home was because the children were not overindulged/overscheduled with so many activities.
People could take this troubled economic time as an excuse to bow out of the rat race a bit. Just because your children are in 5 activities a week and there is no time for a family dinner does not make you a better parent, just more harried.
We could also go back to the time when children had chores to help around the house, something a bit unheard of these days.
Doing the stuff of life is how you pass your knowledge of fixing, home/car maintenance, cooking, sewing, gardening to your children so they have skills to support their adult life.
It also provides time to talk to each other.
I don’t have a housekeeper because the cost isn’t worth the one day the house is clean but we do have a lawn service because I want it done a bit more regularly than my husband does.
I work full time but prefer to cook from scratch and it a relaxant for me.
We walk our dog twice a day and I take him to the car wash when he can’t have a bath in the river (he’s 100lbs).
I do the smaller home repairs ie: fixing wall holes, changing toilets, sinks or lights because I learned how when I was a single mother.
My husband and I chose not to take too much on past our jobs. I work shifts, he travels and that keeps us apart enough.
Perhaps we are just lazy, but I prefer to think of it as keeping a work/life balance that is calm. Our time together is valuable to us.
June 25, 2009 at 8:37 am
Everyone I know keeps telling me to hire a housekeeper, since I really loathe cleaning. I am resisting, because I would rather save the one or two hundred bucks a month it would probably cost. I kept saying, “Maybe when the debt is paid off” and now I’m saying “When my RRSPs are maxed out”… I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like we can “afford” it (I’m trying to remember that great word you taught us a while ago-perfect for this situation I think…darn it, that’s what happens if I don’t drink my coffee first thing!)
June 25, 2009 at 8:37 am
hey michelle, i like the last part of your comment!
June 25, 2009 at 8:48 am
Nadine – your not being cheap, your being sensible.
June 25, 2009 at 8:51 am
psychsarah – the word is “thoil”.
June 25, 2009 at 8:55 am
psychsarah, the word I think you’re trying to remember is “Thoil.”
June 25, 2009 at 9:13 am
I do pay a lot of money to have my hair cut and coloured. It is one of my indulgences and I worry about even trying to do it myself.
For people trying to save money on big items you need to talk to you neighbours and friends. For instance, my husband does paving in the summer for the city so he will also do driveways on the side. He doesn’t do a lot of them mainly for friends and family but he makes a little bit of money and the driveway costs the homeowner a lot less than what a paving company would charge with a strong and thicker driveway.
There are a lot of people out there that have excellent skills that you can pay a lot less too because they are just doing it on the side. Ask and you might be surprised
June 25, 2009 at 9:45 am
Thanks for the great post, Gail. I think people forget how much happiness it brings to learn to do something for one’s self and be self reliant. And also doing a variety of things in a day brings a fullness to life. Chores like cleaning, or mowing the lawn can be very meditative, are a good work out and give you a sense of accomplishment. I’m a paper-pusher at work so I appreciate doing physical things that bring a tangible result.
Gail, petfinder.com is a great site that pools together shelter animals in any given geographic area. I think there’s probably a wonderful pooch just waiting for you to adopt him/her
(just don’t hire a pooper-scooper service, okay? That one slays me!! 
..
June 25, 2009 at 9:57 am
Personally, I have cut back on haircuts. I stopped having a short haircut and started wearing a long style that required way less upkeep. I stopped colouring it too. Not too many greys making an appearance I’m pleased to see! I also started cutting my boyfriend’s hair saving him about $50 every three weeks!
On the home improvement front, I recently cut back in other ways by painting my own apartment, having my boyfriend install some drawers in my kitchen cabinets and installing my own dimmer switches and wiring up a light fixture (a friend coached me through it) instead of hiring someone to do it for me.
Workwise, (I’m a freelancer working from home) I farm out work that is not a particular focus of mine. If I know someone who can do it cheaper and quicker than I could, then it’s totally worth it to send the work their way, freeing me up to work on other things I enjoy and am better at. Plus it frees up my time in general since work and home are the same location.
June 25, 2009 at 10:00 am
@ Elizabeth – I am totally with you! I only wish my dishwasher was as reliable :S
I have a small condo big enough for me and guests when they come. My philosophy was the bigger my place was the more there would be to clean! So small is great. Also I will admit that I’m not the best house keeper and don’t clean regularly. I clean when I feel like it or when I know I will have company
But being that it’s just me it’s not that dirty. I can live with a bit of dust in order to have a life. A clean house is not always necessary.
June 25, 2009 at 10:03 am
Great post Gail! My fiancee and I recently purchased a new to us home and debated/lamented hiring a painter to paint the entire thing prior to us moving in. We are both pretty handy and have done painting on this scale before but given all of the other things going on in our lives (planning a modest wedding, our 9-5’s, packing to actually move into this house) it really made sense for our own sanity to hire someone to do it. Under different circumstances/timing I would we would both be there with the rollers saving those dollars to do it. I think the timing/circumstances plays a fundamental decision in outsourcing anything.
June 25, 2009 at 10:05 am
My husband and I have 2 children under the age of 5 and I found that since having kids outsourcing the some work has become necessary for our sanity. We both work full time and since I have returned to work, I now indulge in having someone clean my house every 2 weeks. For us it is worth it and since we have no consumer debt, a small mortgate that will be paid off in 5 years and an emergency fund that will last us for a year, RESP’s for the kids and a good retirement fund already, so I dont fret over the cost of the cleaning lady.
I do however cook all my meals at home, we can count on one hand how often we have been to the restaurant in the last year. We do our own laundry, paint our walls and have done most of our home reno’s ourselves. We don’t smoke and we drink occasionally. If you figure what we save by not spending frivously it becomes worth it and affordable to get someone in to clean my house and free up my weekends to spend time with my family.
June 25, 2009 at 10:08 am
Today is my second day of not buying a Starbucks coffee in the morning. I brought my mug to work and am drinking the coffee my work provides. Sigh. When I realized I was spending $5 a day ($100 a month) on coffee, I decided to stop buying my coffee, start drinking the free stuff and put that extra money I was spending into my vacation fund (next year we are going to travel Nfld!).
The one thing I am not willing to give up is pet grooming. We have a Portuguese Water Dog (she’s pretty big), and her hair is really curly and hard to comb out when it gets matted so we take her in and get all her hair shaved off about once every 2 months. It’s something I don’t want to try at home, expecially the nail cutting. *cringe*
June 25, 2009 at 10:10 am
I live in an apartment, so there isn’t too much to outsource in the first place.
I do batch cooking from scratch, so there are always plenty of frozen meals ready for busy evenings. I have always cut hubbie’s hair, dyed my own (but need a professional cut). I don’t buy take-out coffee. I’d LOVE to have someone clean for us, but we can’t afford it, plain and simple, so on top of my full-time job, I also do most of the cleaning and cooking.
Not related to this thread, hubbie got a raise yesterday. We were all excited, until he went to put it in our budget spreadsheet (thanks, Gail), and realized that one of the cells had gotten into the wrong formula (AFTER we downloaded it). Our “total income” was using his gross, not his net, income. So actually, we’d been budgeting all wrong, and with his raise we’re $300 BEHIND where we thought we were. It was a pretty depressing morning.
June 25, 2009 at 10:28 am
I live in a condo apartment and travel three days each and every week. I do have someone clean every two weeks. I get to spend so little time at home that I don’t want to waste any of it cleaning. I do make my own meals though. I eat out when I travel and am totally bored of it. I actually look forward to making Kraft Dinner in my own home some days. Last week my company and I negotiated something a bit different. I’ll save them costs (and hopefully put an end to my weight gain) by making my own lunches at home and bringing them with me while I travel. They’ll pay for my groceries each week so that my food is covered. I’m hoping this will work out as a win-win for both of us.
June 25, 2009 at 10:42 am
Nadine – I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing it yourself. If you hated doing it, that would be another story.
Like so many other things, if you can afford it and it is important to you then I don’t see a problem with outsourcing certain things.
My mom works part time in a job that offers plenty of opportunity to pick up extra shifts (with varying hours) and would much rather pick up an extra shift or two a month to have someone come in to clean the house than to do the basics (vacuum, dust, etc.) over and over again.
June 25, 2009 at 10:43 am
@ Mike — amen to hiring a painter, brother. I don’t mind doing plumbing, electrical, or even ditch digging, but man you couldn’t pay me enough to ever paint again. The cleaning, the taping, the mixing, the drop cloths, the panic of leaving a drip…. I’d rather work an extra couple days.
I’m glad that everyone recognizes there are times when it’s better to spend one currency they have (money) to save another currency they don’t have (time). As long as you have more of the former than the latter, you’re golden.
June 25, 2009 at 10:44 am
I’ve been getting my sister, mom and husband to dye my hair for the past couple of years and just went and had it professionally done. I look and feel amazing and it’s helped me to realize that yes, it can cost a lot to “outsource” but sometimes the results are worth it. Not only was the hair colour I chose for myself the wrong one but my hair was totally fried, green on the ends, and I needed professional help!
I agree with Gail’s philosophy that when you are on track you need to live your life and enjoy the financial rewards you work so hard for. After all, there can be a fine line between financially responsible and miser. Also, some things just need to be done by someone who knows what they’re doing. That’s why they’re a professional!
Nadine, I hope you keep on having fun mowing the lawn. I find it relaxing as well when it isn’t +30 outside
Thank you Gail for your blog. I enjoy reading it and everyone’s comments, it brightens my day. Take care all!
June 25, 2009 at 10:47 am
I have a cleaning lady. She comes once every other week for a few hours and does the heavy lifting – washing floors and the like – that my husband and I find it hard to get to. On the other hand I am outsourcing less and less of my food production. I’m gardening and baking my own bread, for example. I also knit and sew and make clothes for my kids. There is a bit of cherry picking that goes on – which activities do I enjoy more, how would I prefer to spend my (limited) free time?
I have waffled back and forth on the cleaning lady a bit. For now, though, we can afford her and she really does make our lives easier and happier. We are fine with spending our money for that purpose.
June 25, 2009 at 10:55 am
Diana: Your post hit home. My oldest finishes her last grade 12 exam tomorrow morning. We were joking around the other day and she said she had an exam on Thursday and Friday and then she was done. I then said and you start work on Monday?? She didn’t think it was too funny, but wait until her dad and I tell her she has to find a full time job or a couple of part time jobs. She slacked off this year so her marks are horrible. She is thinking of hair school, but I told her how much we had in her RESP (started way too late) and told her she would need to get a job and a student loan for the rest. She could stay home for free. We have overindulged I think to make up for back surgery in junior high.
Second child, age 16, has been told to find a summer job. If not, she will have a list of chores to get done every day. I had it, so there is no reason why she can’t. She at least is the one kid that helps.
Youngest, age 14, told him to find a summer job, even one day a week to learn about work and money.
This summer, none of them are laying around!
July 3 we are finished our mortgage! Then 2 more payments for the braces and then we tackle the line of credit. Hopefully with these we will be finished by the end of December. I have a credit card debt I am paying off (my stupidity) that I am hoping with all of Gail’s knowledge and other people’s tips will be paid off in less than 3 years.
Psychsarah: I too hate housecleaning. I don’t know what it is, maybe because my parents were so Type A about it (rubbing a finger across my closet floor when I was young to see if it was clean) that I resist it. One thing that is helping, we are purging our house of stuff – even my husband has gotten into it now. Our plan is to have daily chores so that on the weekends we can just relax with the kids and do bare minimum.
Now, if I can only get my head around meal planning!
June 25, 2009 at 11:06 am
I hear you, AshB! I have a Standard Poodle and don’t mind paying someone else to groom her! I found a fabulous groomer who works out of her home and will do her for $45-50, every 2-3 months. It would take me 3 or more hours to do it myself, if I can even get through it.
I also struggle with cleaning, often I muse about hiring a cleaner, but can’t justify the cost. My son is 9, so he is able to help out. I have in the past hired cleaners from a reputable company in town to do one time clean before Christmas, or before I go on holidays, so I can actually enjoy my house when I am off work!
I do a lot of cooking, and will be making some jam, doing some canning, as well as berry picking. I may hire a cleaner to give the house a once through while I am taking on these extra chores.
I have a tutor, once a week for our son. He has been diagnosed with a mild learning disabilty, so I am fortunate that this is tax deductable for me.
June 25, 2009 at 11:16 am
It’s all about priorities, I say. We don’t outsource a whole lot – we do our own laundry, we cook the vast majority of our meals from scratch (both me and hubby love to cook), and we even do minor household repairs and installations with the help of a very handy friend. The one thing we are happy to outsource is a thorough cleaning of our condo once every two weeks. We do spot cleaning of course, but we both would much prefer to part with $70 every two weeks and come home to a sparkling clean condo than to spend several hours every weekend vacuuming, dusting, mopping floors and scrubbing tubs. We can afford it, we’ve built it into our budget and especially given that we have very different dirt tolerances (I can go for way longer than he can between cleans), it’s good for our relationship
June 25, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Thanks Cynthia and Gail for reminding me of “thoil”! It was right there on the tip of my tongue (or I guess my fingers, since I’m typing…)
Kathryn-It’s so funny that you have the cleaning figured out, and are working on the meal planning, because I am the complete opposite. I’m a pro when it comes to meal planning, probabably because I love to cook. My mom kept the house super clean all the time (we joke in our family that it’s not clean until it’s “Myrna Clean”!) so I think I just didn’t pick up the habit soon enough in life. Hey, I have an idea-we could barter-I could plan your meals, and you could clean my house
June 25, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I think this is one of the many reasons why it’s often worth it financially for one spouse to stay at home with the kids. I have time to plan our meals and cut coupons (slashing our grocery bill in half from when I didn’t!), make my husband’s lunches, play with and teach my kids (as opposed to paying a daycare to do that), clean the house (though with a five-month-old and a twenty-one month-old even that gets hard to keep up with….still, it’s just a phase), work on our financial planning, do our yard maintenance (though I’m kinda on hiaitus from that…again, two kids under two), and work on building my skills for when I DO go back to work (as a freelance writer and photographer).
June 25, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Just a note: the word thoil is just wonderful. My husband and I have added it to our everyday language. Finally we have a way to explain to our family and friends why we are the way we are when it comes to money.
In regards to outsourcing – we do what we know how to do (or can easily learn) and the rest we outsource. We can’t thoil spending money on things we can do for ourselves.
June 25, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Nadine-consider your 3 hrs at pushing as your exercise routine and that is never time-wasted on exercise!
I love Gail’s post and Diana’s comments.
At home(husband & 2 small kids) I say “you make the mess, you clean the mess”(…of course, I’m cleaning 80% percent of it right now, but it’s catching on).
I can’t believe how people can hire housecleaners to clean up their own pig-pen. Really? How do you not feel guilty about making a mess and then leaving it for someone else to clean..even if it’s paid out at a high-price and you can afford it. Out of the whole month you can’t find ANY time, even 2 hours to clean your house? People these days are crazy-busy, and then some…but that’s no excuse for not cleaning up after yourself at home where you pay tons$$$ into your mortgage but then live like a pig.???
June 25, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I personally think the ‘outsourcing or not’ question is one you cannot make without evaluating what it is costing you in life energy. The book Your Money or Your Life (you’ve mentioned this one before, yes, Gail?) shows you how to calculate your true hourly wage (net income, less expenses of working, divided by true number of hours related to work). Once you know how much you make per hour, you can make a decision of whether it is worth it to you to have someone cut your grass, or dog’s hair, or clean your house. Working for an hour and a half will pay for the weekly lawn service? Deal! Or maybe not, if you enjoy the chore, money’s really tight, etc. And depending on your true hourly wage, you may find outsourcing actually makes more sense (e.g., if it takes you more time to do the chore than working to pay for the chore).
June 25, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Oh Andrea, Andrea, Andrea … prepare for the rebuttals.
June 25, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I have 2 kids -6 and 4 and both my husband and I work full time so at this point in my life time is scarce and extremely valuable to me!
I too have thrown around having someone come in and clean my house but struggle with the cost.. my solution has been to simply lower my standards!!
At the end of the day I can only excel at so many things- so for me being a good Mom, time with the hubby and doing well at my job take precedent over having a spotless house.. I am hoping that when my kids look back at their childhood they don’t remeber that my bathtub has a ring it in sometimes or that they can write their names in the dust on the blinds but rather that we rode our bikes all the way around the pond each night or we laid down in the middle of the mess in their rooms to read a book.. The reality is is that we can’t afford it and what I can do myself will just have to be good enough!
That being said anything I (or hubby) can’ t do but has to be done (like when my fridge died last week and we had to shell out $286 to have it repaired) will be outsourced. I see nothing wrong with paying someone for doing something that you can’t do yourselves- but I think part of why our society is in the financial mess it is is because somewhere along the way we have convinced ourselves of all these things we NEED to have/do .. and foolishly convince ourselves we have to pay for it regardless of our financial reality..
June 25, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Andrea, quick to judge others and their situation. Although I have a cleaning lady, I vaccum everyday, do my dishes, pick up toys, flip loads of laundry etc…I even tidy before she comes.
It is nice to have someone come and dust, clean bathroom thoroughly and wash floors on her hands and knees.
Everyone that comes to my house comments on how clean and tidy it is. It takes a lot of work on everyones part.
Quite honestly, we do not live in a pigsty and would rather spend my time playing with my kids and my husband, enjoying time outside and getting some exercise.
June 25, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Wow Andrea, I’m sure the housecleaners of the world, who make their living cleaning other people’s “pig-pens”, thank you for their support. Let’s talk when your little kids are a bit older and you’re spending 90% of your free time taxiing them to various activities, sitting in the parking lot while they’re off practicing and making lists of all the things you need to do with the other 10% of your waking hours. It’s all about CHOICE my dear and no two families do it all the same.
June 25, 2009 at 2:57 pm
To save my marriage (and my back and prevent my dust allergies from acting up) I have house cleaners who come every 2nd week. We usually do most of our home repairs ourselves – except for big jobs. Since I gave up our 2nd car from time to time I allow myself a cab ride (usually once every 3 or 4 months). And since we cook most of our food, always take our lunches to work and I gave up coffee 2 yrs ago – we do allow ourselves to go to a restaurant maybe once or twice a month.
June 25, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Just to clarify my point about NOT paying for a housecleaner you bet your A$$ if I could afford it we would have one.. I would love to my house to be eating off the floors clean with less effort on my part.. however when I look at what kind of money I have left over after at the end of the day I just have to suck it up and live with a less than perfect house..
June 25, 2009 at 3:15 pm
It is funny I got a second job to clear my debt faster – but in return realized that cleaning my apartment had become a problem. The stress of thinking about the cleaning was terrible. So even though I am a single girl in a smallish apartment I have a cleaner come in every three weeks. One shift at the second job more than pays for them. Now I have no more stress, and a really really clean apartment! It is amazing how well professionals clean!
June 25, 2009 at 3:17 pm
My husband is an Apprentice Mechanic. When we need to outsourse, we try to hire Apprentices. Their rates are cheaper. They usually take a little longer to complete a job, but I don’t mind paying an extra hour our two at a cheaper rate for them to learn something new.
Before my son was born (Just over a year ago) we discovered mold in our bathroom and had to renovate. The room had to be completely gutted. We hired an Apprentice Carpenter, Apprentice Electriction and a friend of ours who just finished his Aprenticeship for Plumbing. When writing the contracts, we inserted a clause that allowed my husband to watch them and ask questions to learn how to do the job himself. We are going to need to renovate our kitchen soon and he is pretty sure he can do it all himself.
Also, we hardly eat out and I have to thank my Mother-in-law for this. When we first got married I didn’t know how to cook much besides KD. She signed us up (and paid for as a wedding gift) for cooking classes at our local grocery store. They taught us how to make quick meals that take less time then it does to drive to the resturant.
Our dog groomer charges us $10 less each trip because when a new groomer came into town, we didn’t rush over like the rest of her clients. We call it our Loyality Discount.
June 25, 2009 at 3:19 pm
In the ‘olden days’ there were many children born into a family. They all had jobs to do. Usually extended family were also in the home. Fathers worked outside the home, mothers worked raising the family and taking care of the home. Children entertained themselves. This was the way I was raised.
Fast forward. With both parents working full time, children running hither and yon to various scheduled lessons, teams, etc. it is hard on everyone.
You can only do what you can feel comfortable doing. Everyone is different.
We can’t stand in judgment of choices. No stones thrown.
Me? I’ve never had a house cleaner…but then I’m a lucky girl – my hubby does all the vacuuming and floor washing. He takes care of all the outside work and any odd jobs. We outsource the difficult bits.
I love to cook and bake and make everything from scratch. Today I made 3 batches of freezer strawberry jam…and neither of us eat it. It’s for our kids who grew up with it and love it.
Don’t mind doing laundry and love my clothesline. Have always ironed hubby’s shirts and pressed his pants. It’s always been a source of pride to me that he look nice.
I’ve always told our kids that they can write their name or a note to me in the dust…but never the date. I don’t want anyone to know how long it’s been there. Again…choices. I clean everything once a week and after that….I have my nose into several books or am in the kitchen or lately we’ve travelled to see our darling new grandson.
DH retires tomorrow. We’ll see what develops!
June 25, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Amy J
I love your comment…. very well said
June 25, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I am a stay at home mom who also works at home (usually at night–writer/editor). The biggest misconception is that I have ALL this time to get things done. My house isn’t neat as a pin, but it isn’t dirty either. Its lived in. I have kids, so there are toys and stuff. Often dinner is started at 4:45 because the kids require contsant intervention to prevent serious injury. I have friends with maids, they love it. Its not for me, but that doesn’t make it wrong for them. I, too, have lowered my expectations of me. My house will never be as clean as some with two working FT outside the home and kids in day care–for the simple fact that we are in it all day.
I have a choice to make everyday: quality time with the kids or get my to do list done. I always choose a bit of both. I keep saying, when they are older it will be easier–and I keep finding out that the demands just change. Neither side is right or wrong…it is all dependant on what works for your family.
Finances as no object? There are many things I would outsource–at least until I got the first bill!
June 25, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I don’t outsource anything other than car repairs. But I’m single and can deal with the mess that I make.
That being said, I’m starting to wish for a dishwasher. I just can’t quite thoil it. I -HATE- doing my dishes but at the same time, when I time myself doing it, it’s only 10 minutes of work! Plus environmental and running costs … just can’t thoil it.
(Hope I’m using the word right!)
June 25, 2009 at 4:30 pm
@ Andrea and your disbelief at people who hire cleaners..
Thank you so much for helping me make my point in my earlier post- our society has gotten so wrapped in judging each other and their ability to “do it all” that we have driven ourselves into trillions of dollars of household debt just to save face and keep up with some contrived ideal of what our lives should be. And hey pat on the back to you for your outstanding ability to support your fellow women/mothers who at the end of the day are just trying to do their best and live the best live they know how! Girl Power all the way!
June 25, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Andrea – I have heard stories of cleaners walking into a house and being expected to clean everything up, but that is not the experience at my parents’ house. I remember picking up the night before she came. She did the routine stuff – changing the sheets on the bed and throwing the bedding into the washer, dusting, vaccuming, wiping surfaces, cleaning bathrooms, and the kitchen floor. Even with all of that out of the way, there is always something you can clean, declutter, tidy, wash, or reorganize. If my room was a mess (which it often was) then she wasn’t expected to go in.
The important questions are:
Is it worth it to you?
Can you afford it?
jay – my first two apartments didn’t have a dishwashers (and they weren’t allowed either) but everywhere I’ve lived since has a dishwasher and I l-o-v-e it. In terms of water consumption, dish washers can use less water than washing them by hand (or so I’ve read).
June 25, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Jay – I hear ya!!
I too am single and dishwasherless! I would rather do anything else but wash and dry dishes. I can afford a new dishwasher but would have to do a little reno to install it. Small kitchen! I don’t want that hassle so I wash and dry by hand, but not every day. My kitchen sink has two sides and one holds the dirty dishes. Drives my Mom nuts when she comes over but I can live with it fine.
15 minutes of doing dishes every couple of days is not so bad!!
June 25, 2009 at 6:45 pm
I’m with you, Kandfamily. I long ago decided that housework is unimportant. We bought a smaller house just to avoid housework (well, to save money really, but a not insignificant part of the decision was because I was so sick of wasting time, maintaining rooms that never get used). Oh and the useless junk we had stored…
I think I cheered out loud the time I saw the bumper sticker that said “People with clean houses are boring.”
Sorry, a little off topic.
June 25, 2009 at 7:08 pm
This one is for the ladies among us.
I have been making my own body sugar for a few years now and do my own waxing at home. Strips can be bought at any drug store. This recipe costs about $3 to make and will remove the hair from legs at least three times (once a month for three months):
* 1 cup sugar
* juice of half a lemon
* 1/4 cup honey
As well as:
* Cornstarch (to powder with for tautness making it more effective)
* Something to spread the mixture with like a tongue depressor
See pioneerthinking.com for more information on this and other cheap and easy alternatives to store-bought.
June 25, 2009 at 7:10 pm
i am a full-time, live-out nanny. no one but me seems to consider this outsourcing the job of parenting. i love my job (and the kids!) and wouldn’t want to do anything else, but i still think it is weird to have someone else raise your kids for an hourly fee. are the two kids really only worth my hourly wages? it stops being about what my time is worth (as far as wages go) and what their childhoods are worth, in my opinion anyway. any comments?
June 25, 2009 at 7:16 pm
To the ladies who work and do all the housework, as well (like me) think about “outsourcing” at home.
We have 4 bathrooms, mine, my husband’s, my son’s and one other.
The men are slobs so I finally said I would keep 2 BRs clean and it wouldn’t be either of theirs!! I leave them to their mess (although I do duck in once a month, or so…out of fear).
My men also do their own laundry and my husband likes to iron so all his french-cuffed dress shirts are perfectly pressed by their owner!!!
June 25, 2009 at 8:52 pm
we pretty much do all the ‘normal’ day to day house stuff ourselves, this may change once i’m back at work, but i have a hard time with the idea of someone else cleaning my house. we do outsource for stuff like major home improvements (got a contractor to do our basement), because we figure if we pay someone it’s done right the first time, where if we do a half assed job it will end up costing us more in the long run
June 25, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I’m planning on having the inside of my house painted in the fall after the exterior renovations are completed on my home. It would take me at least 1 week to paint my entire main floor and I’d have to use my vacation time ( which I’d rather save for a rainy day). The cost to have it all painted works about to be a weeks wages so for me its money well spent!
As a single parent I can’t do everything and keep my sanity, so some things don’t get as often as my mother would like, but we’re a happy family and it’s that what counts!
June 25, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Funny, I consider the time vs. money issue for absolutely everything I do – and have recently been thinking more about hiring a cleaner since my time is better spent with the family than scrubbing tubs and toilets!
@ Elizabeth – I’m now (as of tonight) in the market for a new vacuum and was debating including the Roomba unit in my research. I like the idea of turning it on and leaving it – how long does it take to do an average room (I have all hardwood or tile floors; no carpet). Wondering if it’s worth the $$?
June 25, 2009 at 10:13 pm
My time is worth 3% of my salary.
Currently my rent and transportation costs combined are equal to 39% of my salary. I have signed a lease for a place which is 12-15 minutes from work (depends on traffic) which reduces my commuting time from the current daily 2.5 hours round trip. The rent/transport combo will go up to 42% of my salary, a difference of 3%.
What is my time worth? Two hours a day x 5 days a week = 3%. And worth every cent!
June 25, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I love to cook, bake, cut grass and garden and would not want someone else to do it for me however housecleaning not so much. I found this free website helpful to keep me on track at home flylady.net for those of us who aren’t born organised
My husband and I like to do home maintenance and repair and try to learn “how to” however if it is something beyond our ability or comfort level we do call the professional, mechanic, appliance repair, and plumber are just a few we’ve called on over years. Their services are very much appreciated.
June 25, 2009 at 11:13 pm
dm, I’m SO with you there. My SIL used to be a nanny, and she said that she even felt a tremendous amount of guilt in that she spent so much more time with the kids than their parents did.
On another note, I heard an interesting perspective about the hiring of cleaners…I can’t remember who I was talking to, but they said that in their country (if I could remember who it was I could tell you which country) it’s considered selfish to NOT outsource for things like housework, because the unemployment rate is so high that the middle- and upper-class are expected to say “thank-you” to the community in a sense by providing more jobs. That said, of course, there is apparently a much worse stigma attached to living beyond your means than there is in North American culture these days, so only the people who could TRULY afford it would outsource like that.
June 25, 2009 at 11:37 pm
I have a bit of a different outlook on hiring help. My parents and my grandparents both hired housekeepers at one point or another. I myself worked as a full time live-in nanny for a family.
All of these situations have ended up providing life-long friendships for me. My Grandma and I continued to visit the lady who vacuumed for her until the day the woman died. The lady who cleaned for my parents had a daughter my age who became a friend. I’m now Godmother to one of the children I looked after.
It’s not a new thing to trade tasks with other people, even if what you’re trading is cash. But we’ve come to see it differently in the last century – as something you do if you’re too rich to do things for yourself. But we need to go back to seeing it as a way to create a local economy and build relationships with new people. And sometimes, as has been my experience, it’s worth far more than it costs.
June 26, 2009 at 12:02 am
….SORRY to all those I’ve offended.
..seriously. My comment was too harsh..boo for me.
Gail’s blog today speaks volumes of the droves that “outsource” various things not just for those who really need to but those who do so because, well they can(affordability or not)..and tag time as the reason.
I’m one of the bad girls out there who doesn’t agree. I do agree with “dm”’s comment as well as I stand by the cleaning comment.**this is not toward single or widowed parents**but in a 2 parent family..if you have kids it is your job to raise them, period. In a go-go-go society..what would the world be like if mom or dad stayed home the first 5 years of the child’s life because their “time” and the child’s “time” is worth it. Living on one-income to raise a family is do-able. It’s living within your means that is hard but for the betterment of your child..they make it easier. I know there are exceptions to every rule…but it makes me sad when people plunk there kids in daycare and complain over the housekeeper’s abilities because they think they HAVE to have a second income and are sending the same message to their kids.
You teach and lead by example, hence you clean your own home and teach your kids to pick up after themselves and respect their own property, etc..and it’s really not that time-consuming.
Not likely I put this into the written word the way I intended here either and it’s probaby still offensive…….but I can’t be the only one who views it this way???…I’ll think of you guys when I clean tomorrow
…and you can laugh at me when you’re saying thank-you to the cleaning staff.
June 26, 2009 at 12:50 am
Andrea, I think I know what you mean and I agree to the essence of raising a family as the first priority, and about the lessons you teach your child by example.
(I think it is hard to put out opinions in emails without offending someone, simply because the vocal emphasis can’t help).
But I also think that in the days of yore, people who cleaned or gardened for others actually took pride in that job and did it to their best ability. Not so trendy these days, at least not in North America.
And, did anyone read the expose in the Globe and Mail last year about how poorly housecleaners were treated? Outrageous!!
June 26, 2009 at 12:59 am
DH and I are similar to a lot of people I think, we take care of most stuff ourselves, and outsource what we’re not skilled enough to take care of. Though I am very tempted to outsource sanding and restaining the window frames–the idea of that task seems a little overwhelming. Plus DH is a plumber, so he often does odd jobs for others, and sometimes gets work in return–for example plumbing BIL’s basement, and in return he fixes and upgrades our computers gratis. I don’t think I would ever feel comfortable with someone else cleaning my home, though some days I wish I could hire someone to make all the kitty litter disappear!
June 26, 2009 at 12:16 pm
i am a mom of two great kids and a sloppy husband. I always cleaned our house myself, with everyone piching in from time to time. we are not rich, barely middle class it seems these days, we both work full time, and get home at 6pm.
The kids are older 16 and 12, and between shuffling them to friends, events, parties, games and practices 3 times per week, eating together is a challenge. The week-ends are precious and i don’t want to spend them waxing hardwood floors and scrubbing toilets and tubs.
If i had a free night, I would be at work thinking about tackling the washrooms or vacuuming the stairs, when i get home. By the time i get home i am stressed and complaining.
No fun to be around. Our solution?
We hired a great cleaning woman, to come in bi-weekly to do the big stuff, washrooms, floors, windows, dusting, vacuuming etc.
My extended family thought i was nuts, to pay for these services, but it was worth it for me and my family. On the precious week-ends, I can enjoy them with my family, instead of cleaning and making everyone help.
It was great for my state of mind and the fam as well.
and as a bonus, our cleaner works independantly (no agency), is friendly, and I feel as though we are helping her, as much as she helped us.
June 28, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Hi Gail,
My comment is not actually regarding the specific topic of your article. It’s more about one line near the bottom, regarding your dog-less-ness. How sad. Sorry to hear about it. Just wanted to say hello from a fellow ‘fan of the canine’. We have two Shih Tzus (Emma, 9 and Tucker, 1.5) and they’ve brought us more joy than I can express. If you’re ever considering adopting another pup, I can’t say enough good things about Shih Tzus. They don’t shed (woohoo – that’s that much less time in front of the vacuum!) and are the perfect combination of playfulness and ‘napfulness’. Thanks again for all your great advice!
June 29, 2009 at 10:47 am
Psychsarah – you would have to move to Alberta!
We went out for dinner on Friday as a family as a celebration of school is out, we have done it every year since they started school. It was quite nice to sit there and let them know how things were going to begin to work around our house. Girls are now in charge of their laundry totally. The one that does do hers told her sister that she wasn’t doing hers. She was then called a name, to which we promptly stomped on that. The next day we also told the oldest child that the bank of mom and dad was closing and she had better get a job, full-time preferable, but a couple of part-times if needed. She isn’t going to school this fall as she isn’t sure what she wants to do. Also told the others that they were old enough that they could work at least one day a week if not more.