I would have said this was due to upbringing, yet my sister’s goals are much more lofty. She wants a house, 2 cars, trips to Disneyland, etc., yet at the same time she wants to stay at home to raise the kids. These expectations are contradictory, she is not very happy, and she thinks she’s been dealt a bad hand…

I notice then they have another sale the next spring, so they must have gone out over the winter and done it again.

I think a lot of people are out of touch with a realistic picture because we are trying to recreate not just the life of our parents, but because they sometimes make us feel that we’re already “way behind” to not even be married by 30, let alone not have a house or kids.

We live in an extremely capitalist society- more so than ever before. As a result, there are fewer and fewer people who are actually in the middle class. This is a huge shift in society and very difficult for people to swallow. Because what we actually see are a number of people who were in the same socio-economic group as us growing up either making a lot more money than us, OR pretending they’re making more in order to keep up the illusion. In reality, few people are staying in that “middle class” category.

I am happy that you are living your dream. We all have dreams and we owe it to ourselves to pursue them. Myself, I am proud of my Newfoundland heritage. I am grateful and thankful for the wonderful person who allowed me in to her life as her spouse and to whom I truly know is my best friend. I am proud knowing that I overcame tremendous obstacles to receive my degree. I feel blessed that at 42 years of age I still have the privilege of having 2 grandmothers in my life, and I am fortunate to have a wonderful and loving family. The same for the wonderful people who allow me to share their lives as friends for the past 30+ years.

And yes, I like my house. I like my counters and my windows. But proud when the counters and windows are shiny? Not so much.

I thought I was ready to make the move to using my credit card for the cashback rewards but found that even keeping track I was just too sloppy and spent ‘just a bit more’ in each category which totally threw me off. Working with cash only keeps me on budget and is not dangerous since, sadly, I tend to spend it all in a day anyhow.

‘know thyself’ – good advice Freckles

You can email me at rach_wagner at hotmail dot com . I will help however I can.

Recently, my husband and I have been shopping for a starter home. At 27 years old I feel like I have accomplished quite a lot to have a graduate degree, a fun life, a great family and be in a position to start looking for a property. Our friends would agree. They all had a great time at our small wedding (paid for in cash), don’t mind riding in our sub-compact car and enjoy games night and cocktails in our futon-furnished living room.

The pressures to have/consume everything actually comes from parents and friends of parents. They seem to feel that we should be able to live their current lifestyles with ease and wonder why we don’t have a second car, a big house, another baby, etc. Our perspectives and realities vary greatly due to the generation gap. I am proud that I am highly educated and can enjoy living in a great city. However, these things go unnoticed by the boomers in my social circle. Property values compared to income have gotten out of control and cost of living is a whole different ballgame (two working parents = daycare in a city where you’re lucky to get a toddler sport for less tha $1000/month, university costs for our daughter will be out of this world) so we simply cannot achieve all that is expected of us immediately.

While my generation needs to reign in spending and learn to figure out wants vs needs, those who enjoy the lifestyle that comes with a high income, pension and a mortgage-free budget need to also recognize that we have to start somewhere and take the time we need to build on what we do and earn.

Thanks again. Time to head to the park and enjoy some free entertainment (watching a baby giggle on the swings).

Ann – I smiled when reading your post because that is exactly what I do – daily monitoring with the help of my spreadsheet! And I, as well, have had no problems with credit card fraud or charges made in error.

I use my credit card for all possible expenses, and by updating my expenses spreadsheet daily and paying off the credit card weekly I’ve never gotten into any trouble. I redeem the “points” I earn on my credit card for gasoline gift certificates. It works only if you NEVER carry a balance from month to month (thereby incurring interest charges), and only if you DON’T spend more than you normally would if you were using cash. I believe Gail uses the term “convenience” card rather than a “credit” card when your credit card is used in this manner.

The best advice I have is to know yourself. If a credit card leads you to overindulge – by all means, the cash and jars system is better for you. Don’t fool yourself thinking that you resist temptation now, if you hadn’t in the past.

Luckily for me, a credit card does not offer any temptation for me to overindulge. However … if you put a full bag of cookies or a full tub of ice cream in front me … yikes. Now that is what I have to stay away from, and can’t bring into the house. You know the old trick of putting your credit cards in the freezer to avoid temptation? If only that worked for the ice cream!!!!!!

Don’t these people realize that they could buy a car for the amount they are spending in ONE DAY? Or have a downpayment on a house? Or a tax break on an RRSP? Or any number of other things that will stay with them much longer than the memory of that one day? (And how tainted will the memory of that day become if the relationship sours?)

Honestly, we had a small wedding 15 years ago and (besides the love & committment) all that’s left are the wedding rings, my dress (which was of a style that I have been able to wear it a number of times since!!!) and a book of photos. NO DEBT!!! It didn’t even cross our minds to go into debt for our wedding.

We have since discussed what we will do when our children decide to get married … and we are both leaning towards “Here’s some money towards your new life together. You can have $5K towards your wedding OR you can have $15K towards a new home”. Assuming they can afford a home that is!

My 3-year-old hears me and his dad laugh at those people. We kind of hope this will be an insidious little teaching tool.

I simply can’t imagine a Life Picture which includes that kind of vehicle, or the kind of debt that goes with it. That being said, my MIL drives a Cadillac SUV, whatever they’re called, and FIL drives something equally huge (granted, he’s over 6′4″ and 300+ lbs). They are leases which they somehow work into their business taxes. I still think they are irresponsibly extravagant. Hubby drives a little Kia Rio, first ever vehicle he bought new, now fully paid for, which he LOVES, and I drive a Saturn sedan, bought used and fully paid for.

Given that transportation in Canada is essential, and vehicles (over public transport/bikes/etc) seem to be considered essential by most, it would make sense to buy reasonable/efficient machines rather than status machines. There are still insurance, registration, parking, upkeep, and repair costs to bear, not to mention gas. It is a stunning expense overall even once the vehicle is paid for.

I don’t intend to give up my vehicles anytime soon BUT I also can’t imagine driving (and paying the associated costs for) such a monster!!