That Can’t Happen to Me!
Posted by Gail | Filed under Thinking Out Loud
It’s Saturday morning. The snow is crunchy underfoot and it is COLD. When I left the city this morning at 4:00 a.m., it was -2. When I got home about an hour and a half later, it was MINUS 16 in my driveway. Considering it’s the middle of November, I’m of two minds: first, I hate to have to drive hither and yon in unpredictable weather; second, maybe we’ll have a white Christmas… hurrah!
I usually shoot the show on Thursdays and Fridays all over southern Ontario… from Niagara Falls in the west to Bowmanville in the east. Since I live up in the Northumberland Hills, just north of Cobourg, driving to Guelph, Hamilton or St. Catherines is quite the trek, especially if I’m driving in the snow.
I don’t like to be away from my kids more than the two days a week that I shoot, so I typically leave home at the crack of dawn on Thursday, and drive back at the crack of dawn on Saturday. This week my producer Jennifer – I call her PJ, or Peej – called to say that there was a snow storm rolling in and I might want to head into the city Wednesday night, which I did. Good call. The highways were a nightmare on Thursday.
The week’s shooting went without significant incident, though I’m always sad when a family doesn’t get the full $5,000.
Anyhoo, when I landed home and went through my email I came upon a question from the website from a woman who needs some help with some tough decisions. Widowed with a young child – her husband died unexpectedly in his prime – she now has some pretty big decisions to make.
I’m going to help her. But her situation made me think of all those times I say to couples on my show, “He could die, and then where would you be.” Nobody ever believes me. They think I’m being overly dramatic.
My best friend, Cookie, died of a brain tumor at 43. Marilyn died at 45. Teddy’s daddy died at 41. Victoria’s husband died of cancer in his late 40’s. Benita’s husband died in a motorcycle accident when she was in her thirties, with three young kids, and one on the way she didn’t even know about.
Crap happens all the time and we’re faced with stuff we never thought we would have to deal with: death, divorce, disease, disability, devastation. We cope. Most of us do. But it’s a whole lot easier if you have some money in the bank and some idea of what you can do to make it to tomorrow.
On any given day, in any given town, someone is dealing with something hard. The idea that this can’t happen to me is ludicrous. If you think it couldn’t ever happen to you, you’re delusional.
I love my life. Even the driving. I leave early, give myself plenty of time to get where I’m going, and listen to a good book on my ipod to keep me alert and my brain engaged over hundreds of miles of tarmac. And I tend not to worry about a lot of stuff. I definitely don’t worry about money.
I have some savings. I have some insurance. I pay my credit card off in full every month. I have taken care of all the details so I don’t have to waste my energy trying to figure out how to cover my butt.
The families I work with who get it (yes, there are some who don’t), all get taller as I work with them. You can see it on TV. As the burden of not knowing how to get out of the hole is lifted, their spines straighten, they chins go up and their eyes sparkle.
That’s the best part of my job: watching people come into the light.
There’s snow on the ground today. Christmas is around the corner. Promise yourself that you won’t put more money on your credit card than you can afford to pay off. Stay on budget. Have a great life. I did it. You can do it.
December 16, 2007 at 4:40 pm
HI GAIL & CO.!! HOPE ALL IS WELL? I WAS READING THE “IT CAN’T HAPPEN TO ME” BLOG AND IT REALLY IS REFRESHING TO SEE THAT YOU ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH THE TRUTH! MOST PEOPLE WAIT UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE TO THINK OF THESE “HARD” TOPICS, NEVER MIND PLAN FOR THESE THINGS. I HOPE THAT PEOPLE WILL SEE THE LESSON IN THIS BLOG. NAMELY, THAT WE NEED TO PLAN FOR EVERY LIFE EVENT, GOOD OR BAD. ESPECIALLY WOMEN WHO ARE CURRENTLY DEPENDANT ON THEIR PARTNERS OR YOUNGSTERS THAT LEAN ON THEIR PARENTS SO MUCH, THAT THEY DON’T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEMSELVES (FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE). I THINK THAT NOT DEALING WITH THE TRUTH IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS SO MANY PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY, LIVING BEYOND THERE MEANS AND MAKING WRONG DECISIONS ETC. WE ALL SHOULD BEABLE TO FACE UP TO THE TRUTH. WE SHOULDN’T RUN FROM PROBLEMS, BURY OUR HEADS OR MAKE MATTERS WORSE. I HOPE THROUGH YOUR WORK PEOPLE WILL LEARN THIS AND MAKE BETTER CHOICES FOR THEMSELVES. I FEEL BAD ABOUT THE STATE THE WORLD IS IN BUT IT GIVES ME GREAT COMFORT TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE WHO CARE ENOUGH TO WANT TO HELP OTHERS, SUCH AS YOURSELVES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR EFFORTS. MOSTLY FOR THE TIME YOU TAKE FROM YOUR FAMILIES AND SELF TO AID OTHERS BETTER THEMSELVES. MAY GOD BLESS AND REWARD YOU ALL, BOTH IN THIS LIFE AND THE NEXT. DONNA.
February 8, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Hi – just wanted to say good design and blog -