Beyond Money
Posted by Gail | Filed under talking about money
Based on the amount of play the economy gets in our national and local media, it would be fair to assume that economic factors are a significant part of what is important to us as a society and as individuals. Put another way, money makes the world go ‘round. But is all the good news of rising markets or bad news of crushing debt really pertinent to our sense of personal well-being? Do we really measure our success as a society, or as individuals, by how much debt we have, how much money is in the bank, and what our stock portfolios are worth?
Abraham Maslow came up with the Hierarchy of Needs decades ago, and most of us now accept his principals as valid. According to Maslow, the needs we have are on a hierarchy, and once a lower need is satisfied, we seek to satisfy “higher” (on the scale, not value) needs.
First come the physiological needs: air, food, water, sex, sleep; the stuff that keeps us ticking. Once those needs have been satisfied, we move up a level to safety needs: personal security, employment, familial security, healthy, safety of our property. Next comes the need to love, to be loved, to belong: friendship, family and sexual intimacy fall into this level. Moving up a level we come to the esteem needs: confidence, achievement, respect of others, and our own self-esteem. And finally, at the top of the hierarchy is the much misunderstood “self-actualization.” This is the level at which we achieve creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, acceptance. This is the level at which we do things just because the doing feels awesome.
Maslow’s theory holds that if a lower need is not being satisfied, if you can’t keep food on the table for example, then higher needs – like partying with friends – becomes irrelevant. People don’t worry about their sense of achievement if they’re also worried about whether someone will shoot them dead in the street.
The fact that we live in a society where we are focused on achievement, problem solving and respect means that most of our lower needs have been taken care of and we are moving up the scale. In Africa where young girls are being mutilated, boys are made soldiers as soon as they are big enough to carry a gun, and disease is rampant, self-esteem isn’t a big topic of conversation.
And yet, here in North America, where most of our physiological and safety needs are being met, money gets a huge amount of airspace. Money is a lower level tool: it gets us food and lets us keep our families safe. So how come we spend so much time thinking, talking, and brooding about it? Could it be that we are focused on the wrong criteria?
Maybe it’s time that those of us who make up companies and governments stop focusing on financial issues to the exclusion of the factors that create a sense of well-being in people’s lives. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking about money as the end, and focus on money as the means to create a sense of purpose and satisfaction. After all, where has all our money gotten us? Social capital, volunteering, and altruism have declined in North America even as economic indicators have risen.
While economic indicators are the be all in the early stages of a society’s economic development when we’re still trying to satisfy our lower level (physiological and safety) needs, as societies mature, the focus should shift somewhat to social factors like relationships, purpose, and the opportunity to do stuff we love simply because we love it. And while corporations love to pay lip service to the motto “Happy workers are better organizational citizens,” the bottom line very often takes precedence over employee development, wellness, and joy.
When I hear governments and people talk about what a waste of money supporting those higher needs are (think painters, musicians, poets, writers, sculptors) I cringe. When I see funding being cut, when I hear of school boards eliminating music and drama programs, and when morons tell me “the arts have to learn to pay for themselves,” I cringe. When it comes time to expand the minds of our next generation of children, will we take them to a museum or gallery and offer them framed stock certificates to inspire them with a sense of awe and wonder?
May 1, 2009 at 7:52 am
I think the problem with society as it stands is that our definition of what we need has been warped… you have mentioned keeping body and soul together but I think so many people don’t get what that really means. Body and soul is not designer clothes, but having clothes to cover you and protect you from the elements. Food should be nourishment, but it does not need to come from a restaurant or fancy gourmet shops… Since we culturally have created a false sense of what is a need, no wonder we are still after it, often to the detriment of our health and soul (no time for exercise, play, quality time or a false sense of what these things are as you see in women who love to shop, shop, shop for entertainment).
During times like the fire that is currently raging in Halifax, that is when it is brought home, what is really needed and it is surprisingly little and with little monetary value.
I also saw this week’s episode of TDDUP and had to shake my head when at the end the pregnant Angela did not get it… must have big wedding, must do this, can’t find ways to make it work, must do that but oops I have $50,000 in debt and no living expenses – but that’s ok cause maybe mommy and daddy will bail me out again? That must have been a day where you felt like banging your head against a concrete wall… If I could, I would hug you right now.
May 1, 2009 at 8:56 am
Can I just have a tangential moment here?
“Africa where young girls are being mutilated, boys are made soldiers as soon as they are big enough to carry a gun, and disease is rampant, self-esteem isn’t a big topic of conversation.”
Africa is a really, really big place. There is a huge variety of cultures, practices, needs, wants, etc. I spend more than half my day these days trying to convince people that Africa is not all full of death, destruction, and disease. In fact, the examples you give are more the exception than the rule.
I’ll end my ‘moment’ here.
May 1, 2009 at 9:01 am
FG: Thanks for the hug. Ultimately, each person must walk his or her own path, and I see my job as shining a light on what people need to think about as they journey on. Sometimes my light is all people need to see what they have to do. Sometimes my light is not enough.
It can be a tough walking the line between helping people and making interesting television. Without the TV show, many people would not have come to the realizations that they have. Without the reality, the show would be another piece of voyeuristic crap.
I’m amazed at some of the comments I get from people: I shouldn’t give people who are in debt the $5K reward because other people (who are not helping us make good TV) are more worthy. Hmmm. I’m too harsh. I’m too soft.
Ultimately, when I leave TV land it will be because I can no longer teach good lessons. Perhaps it is the medium — and its expectations — that will get in the way. Perhaps it is my “fame” and people no longer being surprised or willing to open themselves up.
I’m working with families this season that I am finding particularly challenging. It is getting harder and harder to find interesting ways of delivering the same information. And it’s getting tougher and tougher to surprise people and move them out of their comfort zones so they can begin to change their behaviours.
This is the final season of TDDUP. (Season 6 is on air, and I’m shooting season 8.) Me’thinks it may be time to hang up my spurs!
May 1, 2009 at 9:20 am
Gail, maybe you should try the occasional debt-shootout. Profile and challenge two families and whoever makes the most change, gets the $5K. There have been at least 5 couples on your show that I think deserved nothing, actually they deserved to given a bill for your services, but they received some cash. Would love to see the zero go out. And on the topic, how about profiling people like my wife and I who are trying to make it and seem to be doing ok but may be making the occasional mistep? g
May 1, 2009 at 9:33 am
Oh no!!! Gail, what will we do without TDDUP?! It is sad to hear that so many people are having a harder and harder time swallowing your advice.
The interesting thing about this post is that I think most people would agree with you, but it’s as if we have lost touch with what a “basic” need is, and people don’t truly understand when enough is enough. How many outfits do I really need for work? One for each day would be 5, but some people say you need at least one different outfit for every day of the month in order to succeed professionally. These things all add up.
How much house do we need? Just yesterday I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who is in her first home with her husband. He lived at home until 29 and got married (rent free) as that was a strong part of their culture. As a result, my friend and her husband were able to purchase a nice home right away with a good size down payment, but now they both believe that as soon as they have their first child, they will need to upgrade because 3 bedrooms is definitely not big enough. This is despite the fact that she is working on erasing a large consumer debt load on her own (without hubby’s help). It is not my place to judge, but I can’t comprehend how a 3 bedroom house is not enough for any family?
My husband & I have been renting a small 3 bedroom house for the past year. It is just the two of us and our cats, but we found a surprisingly good deal renting this for much cheaper than any other small 1 or 2 bedroom condos (it is quite rural, so not for everyone but we love it). Our rent is only 22% of our income, which is helping us pay off my student loan debt within 1.5 years of graduating. Then we will be free to save up for a house of our own. I am crossing my fingers that this house goes up for sale because I love it and want to own it. But I absolutely KNOW that people will think it’s too small. We actually talk about how we do not want to move to anywhere bigger even with 2 kids because we actually enjoy “living” together. With only 1 living room and 1100 square feet we are always together.
I think so much of our higher needs- to be loved, appreciated and esteemed are unfortunately not being met these days. People are not spending the time just being together and so instead we are filling that void by spending money buying gifts or going to the spa (don’t get me wrong, I love the spa, but it is a serious luxury). Why have we stopped massaging our partners for free? Why have we stopped reading to our children (I’m a teacher and am SHOCKED by the number of children in my class who have televisions, computers AND video consoles in their bedrooms!!) When did it become normal to go to TOYS R US on Saturday instead of the public library or the park?
May 1, 2009 at 9:35 am
Gail,
What I have noticed in a few episodes (and I think this will be even more prevalent now because the show is now well known and popular) is that people are coming to you now more for “an easy $5,000″ rather than genuinely needing help. I can think of at least a few instances where this has MOST CERTAINLY been the case – “The Princess” as I call her, I forget her name, but she said on camera that she was only doing the show to make the $5,000 and wasn’t overly concerned because her brother was going to “bail her out” and this week’s Angela who’s parents were also going to “bail her out”.
Those people are not ready to change. The woman who sent you the message blatantly asking for the $5000 without going on the show, isn’t ready to change. While you have been the catalyst for my change (and I haven’t met you nor did I get $5000) I was ready to make the change before I started watching your show. I just needed the tools and the discipline.
I took the time to make your budget (and read the instructions!) and to write down and track EVERY PENNY. But, I was ready for that commitment. With some people you could shine a light as bright as a lighthouse on them and they still won’t see the problem. They’ll still end-up shipwrecked.
But, as for me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for shining your light on me. Its made all the difference in the world.
Take care, Jamie.
May 1, 2009 at 9:38 am
All I know Gail is you really taught me what I needed to learn about money and I couldn’t thank you enough for opening my eyes… well, I’m still learning but the show was what got me out of my comfort zone. Your blog is the very first page I open before I begin my workday and I’m so thankful for all the information you provide to us all free of charge. This is the first time in my life adult life that I can say I will be debt free – in two months!! And I have a good emergency fund set up too… Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
May 1, 2009 at 9:43 am
I absolutely LOVED that last paragraph!! YES! YES! YES!
People really don’t get it, and I for one am sick of artists being raped and pillaged.
Society simply does not appreciate the work that goes into the preparation of an artist for that 15 minutes for which he or she actually gets paid.
It takes 10 years to polish the skill that goes into those 15 minutes.
May 1, 2009 at 10:05 am
The interesting thing about Africa, as Kate alludes to, is that it is a vast and diverse country. One common thing that I see there is children who are really happy. They don’t seem to need all the crazy amount of toys to find ways to have fun. I admire that–and envy that in many ways. They are richer than we think!
Gail, it can be so frustrating to offer sound solutions to people’s situations to have them just gob smack you with their complete lack of ability to deal in reality. But we can only help those willing to help themselves. Please know how much you help me every single day with my journey to debt free. I am listening! And working on it–its not perfect everyday, but I get closer every day to freeing our family from the chains of debt and to teach better lessons to our kids. While the work to get there is all done by us, the direction, advice and inspiration are from you. You show us that we can. In about 2 years when we are completely debt free, have less stress and just enjoy life, the victory will be yours as well as ours. From the depth of my heart, I thank you.
May 1, 2009 at 10:14 am
A three-bedroom house is perfect for most families, but “over consumerism” is all the rage these days. Bigger is better, more is better, but are we any happier?
I love Marcie’s comment “Why have we stopped massaging our partners for free?” That is one powerful statement!
May 1, 2009 at 11:16 am
I love today’s blog very insightful and thoughtful. Thank you for all you do Gail. Your blog is also the first thing I read each morning and you have certainly made a huge difference in our family’s life. Although I still struggle with getting too obsessed with crunching numbers at times and deciphering between wants and needs at other times.
May 1, 2009 at 11:28 am
I totally agree with everyone!!! We all have a lot in common, why can’t people like us run the government (lol!)…sigh. We need to get back to basics, and I loved Marcie’s comments – you are reading my mind! And I read this blog every morning before work as well, just to keep me on track.
Gail, even if you decide to finish the show, please do not get rid of this website! It has changed my life, as I’m sure many, many more! It is an invaluable resource for people who are truly ready to make a positive change in their life! I would love to meet you someday to thank you in person and give you a big ‘ol hug!
May 1, 2009 at 11:40 am
Hi,
(this relates to the whole Africa thread here) This is a really fascinating lecture about income/poverty and global heath. It’s all statistics based (okay, that sounds boring, but it’s not!), and shows not only how our conceptions of first vs third world may not be as dichotomous as we may think, but also shows the spread of income ect within continents and countries.
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/hans_rosling_shows_the_best_stats_you_ve_ever_seen.html
May 1, 2009 at 11:42 am
TV has changed society more than one knows. 50 years ago communities were just that communities. You knew your neighbors you helped eachother out, you went to Sunday baseball games (maybe a bit utopic) but what people didn’t do is take the easy way out on a Sunday night and plunk thier butt in front of the TV to watch commercial after commercial telling us to buy buy buy, telling us to need more.
I live in a small community where I actually know my neighbors and thier dogs, the only time I watch TV is when I’m running on the treadmill at the gym (by the way I enjoyed this mornings TDDUP). My motto is stores are venues for you to spend money on crap you didn’t “know” you needed. Less is MORE! stay out of the stores!
Sorry for the rant but I hate how plugged into screens our society has become and how its affected us as a society. I have co-workers that are so into themselves they can’t even say good morning… sad.
I challenge all of you who reads this to go meet your neighbor if you haven’t already, and if you have… spend time with them (or friends, family, etc) and turn off the onsluaght of adverstising mediums that tell you to buy more!
May 1, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Cheers to the Africa comments.
The western media’s generalizationist portrayal of Africa is too often derogatory and one-sided.
I was born and lived in east Africa, it was years ago but yes it was a modern developed community with amenities, entertainments and services just like in other parts of the world. There are atrocities in Africa just like there are in every other part of the world including North America (there are some communities on the very same continent as ours where the odds of a black man making it to adulthood without being incarcerated or killed are frighteningly slim…)
I get the point about the pyramid of needs, but generalizations can be hurtful and insulting even when they are not intended that way. And I disagree with the comment about self esteem – I think it IS a big topic of conversation – a HUGE ONE in impoverished areas as building self esteem is a core principle of many programs intended to pull people out of disadvantaged situations… take a look at Athletes for Africa, Right to Play, Association for Women’s Rights in Development and dozens of other organizations for examples.
May 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Beyond money indeed.
It is so hard to ignore all that outside stimulus our society flings at us 24/7. Print, radio, web, TV, even outside we see advertising demanding our attention and calling for some action!
Cleaner, brighter, faster, nicer, totally dedesigned, scientifically formulated, bigger, stronger, greener, Ultra, super, mega, WHATEVER! They all yell at us that what we already have isn’t good enough.
I hate it, genuinely loathe the constant insult to my existing, content life. I guess I am not on the same place as some, but I think creative expression and quality family experience and self-growth is infinitely more important than the latest gizmo, fashion, auto or trend…. no matter what the marketers or economic stimulus yeah-sayers say.
Gail, I am terribly sad that you feel you have completed the TTDUP part of your teaching, I am curious to know what is next for you?
May 1, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Hi Gail
Giving advice to people is the hardest and most frustrating job in the world and you are doing a wonderful job. I fully understand why you sometimes swear and lose patience. I would have been throwing things at some of your guests. Have actually thrown my slipper at the TV screen.
I have found that most people I know (and I am really just talking about my family) say that they want advice and change but deep down they still think they know best and can do better and just want you to agree with them. But then there are those who really want help and change and they will do anything. They will go out and find the help and accept help.
Your body of work (books, TV show, blog, etc) will keep on continuing to help those people who really want the help. I doubt that you will ever know just how many lives you have influenced and changed. We were in the grocery store on the weekend and as we stood in line I was telling my husband about the latest Til Debt show – that Prima Dona and the Doofus. The lady behind us said – “That stupid girl has no intention of giving up one thing and she has no respect for that poor man”. We talked about it the whole time the cashier was ringing through my order and the Hubster was packing. As I was paying (cash from the jars!!!) the young cashier asked what show we were talking about. So I told her and she said, “Boy does she and her boyfriend ever need that show” and my husband said – Yeah, I told my two assistants about it and both have started watching. He never told ME he told them. You are spreading.
Thank you for your wonderful show and for helping to change my life.
May 1, 2009 at 12:55 pm
i have been musing about your post this morning Gail, actually i have been giggling to myself.
i look at my young teens and realize that they are at the top of Maszlow’s pyramid even now. They never worry about shelter or food, their clothing needs are more than adequately met as are their needs for relationship and boundaries. Yep, they face a few hits to their self-esteem and have to tweak confidence levels in the face of new challenges but the spontaneity and creativity that flows from these people is phenomenal.
i know these children and many of their buddies have the tools -well, they have been given the tools which of course may be lost in their rooms somewhere along with the science paper and MY phone- to reach actualization. In fact as juveniles they have reached that summit.
i am giggling because these kids are going to have to FIND the tools and start seriously using them in the next few years. Their more basic needs will move front and centre and i am looking forward to watching them, and even now we see them struggle to factor the ‘baseness of budgetting’ into their existence. “Mom, what do i do? i need a new ‘X’
but don’t have the money to get it AND take the extra dance class.” I am confident that they will get IT and will reach the loftiness of self-actualization as adults and hopefully before the folks.
but today mom is giggling…
May 1, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Wow, what a great post, Gail. You’ve put it really, really well.
You’re absolutely right – we give way too much airtime to money. What else is important to us? Relationships, beauty, adventure, exploration of self and the world, intellectual curiosity and personal satisfaction. My personal quest is to infuse my life with a certain mindfulness that will quench these desires, while maintaining my frugality. Money is not the only gateway to a fulfilling life, I am certain.
Does anyone else here love the book “on the road” by Jack Kerouac? That book epitomizes, for me, a zest for life – a passion for the beauty found in simple moments – a person’s spirit or the light at dusk. We don’t need to have a lot of money or “stuff” to have this passion.
May 1, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Kate – in university, a girl who was about to graduate tried to tell me that Africa was a country, with provinces. I almost exploded! The other people in the class were nodding along with her. I tried to explain that Africa was a continent made up of countries, and no one believed me. Thanks for pointing out that it is a diverse continent. My aid worker friends would agree with your point. Having only been to North Africa, I can at least to attest to diversity even in a single country.
May 1, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Oh one more thing about Africa – while I understand the point you’re making, Gail, how to build self-esteem is actually a big topic of conversation and an important part of many NGO’s training/rehabilitation programs, when attempting to handle issues like rape, HIV-prevention, HIV stigma-reduction. woman-abuse and war-crimes. Many NGOs are trying to handle the sociological as well as psychological causes and ramifications of such issues through various means.
May 1, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Bravo, Gail.
Although I cringe when watching the ‘undeserving’ couples on TDDUP, I feel that their stories (and naive remarks about not doing the challenges and being ‘bailed out’ etc) is all a part of the learning lessons for the rest of us who watch. This proves to the viewers about how damaging it can be to be ignorant about ..well.. life and money.
With or without the show.. never change Gail, a higher percentage of us appreciate you and your wealth of knowledge.
May 1, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Hi Christy
Deprivation always makes me feel deprived – and cranky. That is why for most of my life I never lasted long on any diet – food or fiscal – and have always resented any restrictions. Tell me no and I laugh in the face of oppression. What I have learned over the past few years is that things are not always as tragic as you make them out to be. It is all in how you decide to look at things and you are only ever as happy as you make up your mind to be. Sometimes settling for less is gaining much more than you ever dreamed possible.
Whenever we feel like we may be slipping back into our old consumer ways and sense of entitlement we play the LESS is MORE game. Seeing what doing with less can give us in exchange. These are some of the things we have come up with—less pollution, more life—less waste, more conservation—less possessions, more space—less self pity, more happiness—less presents, more appreciation—less TV, more conversation—less technology, more companionship—less car trips, more exercise—less junk food, more nutrients—less sweets, more weight loss—less debt, more security—less spending, more savings—less materialism, more spirituality—less envy, more peace of mind—less chemicals, more health.
Less is more and something is better than nothing. To change our financial situation -which was awful – we had to stop pouting and give ourselves an attitude adjustment. Give up the all or nothing religion we had always embraced (and actually it was mostly the ALL until we ended up with the NOTHING) and learn to be happy with the SOMETHING.
I love Swiss Chocolate. Could eat a whole bar by myself in a day. Well, actually in about 10 minutes but that sounds really, really bad. This of course always made me very ill with a migraine but to me it was worth the pain. Ditto for red wine. I love red wine. I spent fourteen years in the Okanagan Valley watching the grapes grow and when I was fifteen I lived in Switzerland and every Sunday my Godfather and I and the dog would walk into the village to go to worship the vines at the local cellar. After a couple of hours all three of us would walk home again with soppy grins on our faces and undulating just a little bit.
When we first did our budget it looked like I could never, ever have chocolate or wine again. I was quite literally devastated and went into deep mourning. Wanted to buy a simple black dress and matching veil but couldn’t afford them either. Thought I was even going to die from the shock and made plans to retreat to a Nunnery if I survived. Heard they have wine there.
After a few months on the budget I was given a reprieve and figured out a way that I could have chocolate and red wine but only a little bit at a time. I felt like life was worth living again and the cats never even noticed that they were only getting sardines once a week. This is the something rather than the all or nothing principle and I have my little something every day with dinner and after dinner with tea. And now that we are a lot smarter and spending less on chocolate and wine the cats are getting more sardines – on Sunday and Wednesday.
May 1, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Excellent post Gail, as always. I’ve had my head down for a bit, but just absolutely totally wanted to share my news: I AM LOAN FREE!! As of 3:58 p.m., I no longer have to make payments to an original loan of $44,900.00! I could cry I’m so happy, and Gail, I have YOU to personally thank. If it wasn’t for your show and your website, I would still be plodding along blindly, pitying myself for getting myself into debt, feeling sorry that the Joneses could buy/do whatever they wanted (on credit no doubt, but still, I whine) and here was poor me.
And then comes Gail vaz Oxlade…I’ve been reading you since Chatelaine days and was so excited to find this site, find my dignity and self-respect when it comes to finances, and got my act together.
*stepping down off podium to acknowledge she still has some stupid cc debt, but it’ll be gone, GONE I tell ya, in less than a year!*
Amen, thank you, merci beaucoup, whatever works is still not enough to give you my most deepest and humblest gratitude Gail. Now go reach some other people will ya?!!
May 1, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Michelle – let me be the first to congratulate you. I think you should thank yourself too for accomplishing this amazing task. And most importantly, changing your mindset. It’s not about keeping up with the Joneses anymore, it’s about being happy. And it sounds like you couldn’t be more happy. Best, -Geoff.
May 1, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Wow, great comments everyone.
Gail,
I really hope that you still continue with this blog after your TV career ends. I find it very helpful to know that there are other people out there who think like me regarding the over consumerism that is going on. And I find your blogs interesting and educational.
After reading the blog I always want to make some profound comment – but by the time I finish reading through the comments all of my thoughts have been said. (I guess I just need to read the blog earlier in the day).
May 1, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Congrats, Michelle! whooo hooo!!
Gail, because of you, hubby and I were able to handle his layoff with a smooth transition. We were long overdue and ready to commit to jar life and I don’t feel deprived. I feel proud that I’m consciously thinking about the choices of where our money goes. Before January, we had no savings. We were fortunate in receiving a severance package, and we set aside savings from that, calculated what we needed for the jars for the duration of the severance and put the rest towards debt. We no longer have any consumer debt as a result. And we couldn’t have done it without you, because we never would have bothered to think that way before.
So thank you, for being you, for helping those of us who have watched from the sidelines, too nervous to commit, and for supporting those of us who have finally committed. All hail the Gail!
May 1, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Congratulations, Michelle! Way to go!!!
May 2, 2009 at 12:49 am
I really enjoy everyone’s comments.
I am sad, though, that this will be the last season!!
Gail, so many more people need to hear your message.
I am using the envelopes just for discipline and to cut down on my natural tendancy towards impulsiveness., and to boost our savings in this time of financial uncertainty. I am fortunate that my husband and I are very comfortable and not in debt. I tried to get my
(less comfortable) friend to join me in the Jar mentality, sort of like getting a gym or diet partner, to help keep you honest. She, however, will not come clean with her debt and is content to pretend to live like the famous Joneses. I think she is embarassed for me when I go through envelopes for my coffee money.
It is a sad commentary on people’s need to maintain a veneer of wealth, whilst really scrambling underneath.
Why can’t everyone just be honest about life?
Ie: we’re all tired of keeping up appearances. We don’t need the biggest house, the fastest, newest car, our kids don’t need to be busy every second of the day in order for us to prove ourselves as mothers, etc…
We are all so bloody busy “doing” and pretending, it is just silly.
I thought peer pressure ended after high school, but it just continues on in different forms.
Thanks. Gail for all your sensible advice. It should be a manditory class prior to marriage, having children, etc….
I wish you well in all your new endeavours.
May 2, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Frugal Graduate made a great point using the fires in Halifax as an example. I live in the affected community and was evacuated from my home. Thank God our home is still standing with no damage and we have each other.
As my husband & I were preparing to evacuate, we grabbed our files, wedding album, a bit of special jewellery and a change of clothes. Other than that, we had our son & dogs and off we went to a friend’s house.
I can’t tell you how *rich* I felt with the amount of people who were worried about us and offered us a place to stay or helping hand. I felt *rich* to have my family and my health. If the house burned up, we would have been fine – but I’m sure glad it didn’t!
I feel so sad for the families that did lose their homes. Halifax is very fortunate the fire didn’t cause more devastation.
I can tell you when we had the okay to come home, I was so happy to see my little house. It’s times like this that remind us how important community is and how unimportant *things* are.
May 2, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Michelle: Way to go!! That was a big loan to re-pay! You are on your way to debt free girl friend!
May 2, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Gail you have certainly helped this family to get on their way to being debt free. My grown children are now following your budget plan and your debt free plan. You are truly an inspiration to so many people.