The Urge to Splurge
Posted by Gail | Filed under Smart Shopper
Once upon a time all retailers had to do was pile it high and sell it cheap. If they could convince us that we were getting a good deal, we bought. And bought. Retailing has come a long way since.
Now grocery stores know that having the aroma of freshly-baked bread wafting through the store will make shoppers feel hungry; you know what happens when you go grocery shopping and you’re hungry? Some retailing experts even put the smell of coconut into travel agencies since many suntan lotions smell of coconut and the scent can remind people of past holidays.
Since we’re a lazy bunch of fools, we often default to buying whatever is at eye level on a shelf. Retailers respond by stacking products with the highest margins – the difference between their cost and their selling price – within our line of sight. Or they sell those spots to manufacturers, charging them “slotting fees” for the privilege of having the prime spot on the self.
Do you know that retailers can even predict (and set up their stores to take advantage of) the direction you’re likely to head in when you walk into a store? Think about your favorite store. Close your eyes. You’re walking into the store. What direction do you go in: left, straight ahead, or right?
The more time you spend in a store, the more likely you are to buy. That’s why grocery stores have gotten into the business of selling merchandise… stuff you’ll enjoy browsing. They’ve set up magazine and book racks because these are “rest spots” that let shoppers slow down and recoup. They know the longer they keep you in the store, the more profitable you’ll be. And they put all they stuff they know you’ve come to buy – butter, milk, eggs – right at the back of the store so you’ll have to walk buy all the other stuff to get there.
Speaking of browsing, if you incorporate sampling into your walk-around, you’re done for. As you’re wheeling around the store, avoid sampling. It’s a ruse designed to get you to spend more money. Sampling extends to picking stuff up and handling it. The more we touch, smell, examine a product, the more likely we are to buy it, which is one very good reason why we should NOT try on clothes, shoes, handbags we don’t intend to purchase.
And then there’s the “sale” – the bargain that makes us pick up a couple or six of something the retailer knows we like to buy. Having just saved $12 on tomato sauce (we are such good shoppers!), we can justify dropping $6 on that decadent cheesecake.
The inoculation that works best against the retailing ploys designed to separate us from our money is The Shopping List. Shopping with cash helps too. When we use a credit card, we are much less likely to overspend because it’s easy to forget that we’re using real money. Credit cards let us feel all the pleasure of buying something new without experiencing any of the pain of having just spent the rent money.
Of course, the single best way to avoid spending money is… (drumroll please…) don’t go shopping. How many days can you go without stepping into a store to get the high of having spent money? Do you have a buy-nothing day?
Oh, by the way, when you went into that store, I bet you turned right!
Your turn: Let’s hear your story of how you ended up buying something you never intented to buy.
April 10, 2009 at 7:58 am
An early Saturday good morning to you Gail! Hope you have a Happy Easter!
My hubby does the bulk of our grocery shopping. Once a week. With cash. With a list. And, I mean a computerized list with the 3 stores we frequent. One is in the town where I work and go to once a week, and the other two he shops at in another town on Saturdays. This list has everything on it that we use all the time as well as a column listing all fruits, veggies, dairy, etc. When the flyers arrive Friday night I go through them. I use a highlighter and mark those items I would like that are a good price and even write the cost beside the item.
At the bottom of this printout are spaces entitled: Health Food Store, Shoppers Drug Mart, Canadian Tire etc. for other things that may needed.
We usually only shop the outside of the grocery stores. The way the stores are set up he goes left and I go right.
I know they have ploys to make you shop. Used to make me angry though as I’d take my sight impaired mother for her groceries and almost every time we went they would have moved their merchandise ‘just a bit’ which made it frustrating for a woman who was trying to be independent.
We have a wonderful mennonite market from May-Oct. that we utilize and there is talk of a farmers market starting here this year too. Buying produce etc. near home is awesome!
April 10, 2009 at 8:39 am
Good morning and good friday,
Thanks for the posting Gail. As always, it further opens our minds and eyes. I don’t have the time to respond to your question…but I am wondering
if anyone has been to Giant Tiger? GTboutique.com
It’s very similar to the good old days of Biway and Bargain Herolds and you
can buy cheap groceries there too!
April 10, 2009 at 9:23 am
It’s a good thing all your fans know that you mean “When we use a credit card, we are much MORE likely to overspend because it’s easy to forget that we’re using real money.” Thanks for posting on Good Friday and have a Happy Easter.
April 10, 2009 at 9:43 am
What can I say … I usually go straight and make a beeline for the bakery (especially the 50% of section!)- I often have to go there for bread, especially when it’s the 3 for $5 loaves – my freezer gets stocked
I was actually at the grocery store yesterday, with a very specific list of things my boyfriend wasn’t able to get during his bike ride to the cheaper grocery store:
- tortillas
- lettuce (the other store had bad heads)
- tomatoes
- yogurt for my lunches
- jello for my lunches
However, just as you suggested, by wandering around (I still went to the bakery to wish I could bring home some of those delicious cinnamon buns!)
What happens as I’m walking to the meat after scoping out the bakery? The meat department employee is now marking any meat that’s dated sell by Apr 11 as 50% off. I admit, I picked up ground chicken, pork roast and steaks at that price, so although I spent more than I was initially intending, it was a very good price I was paying! 4.40/kg? ok!
Now our freezer is stocked with meat and we won’t have to buy anymore for at least 2 weeks. (We tend to only buy what is on sale anyways, but with the added discount, we’re also happy
My boyfriend and I have differing opinions – I hate having the freezer empty, and like to have choices, while he couldn’t care less and is willing to spend more money if we hadn’t planned ahead. I always try to stock the freezer, but sometimes he complains and then is shocked at how quickly the food disappears. oh well.
April 10, 2009 at 9:53 am
I can see how your description of spenders fits some of my friends and family, but I don’t seem to have the spending gene. The only reason I can’t go more than a year without entering a store is because my wife doesn’t buy her own Christmas gifts. When I do go to a store, I probably turn right, though.
April 10, 2009 at 10:01 am
If you want more on this subject see if your library has any of Paco Underhill’s books: Why We Buy and Call of the Mall. I’ve read both and they were awesome. Buy-ology (Martin Lindstrom) is also supposed to be good but I haven’t read it yet.
April 10, 2009 at 10:04 am
I do turn right
funny that..
My tip at the groc store if you are doing a medium shop is to carry two baskets instead of a cart.. you get an awesome arms and shoulders workout and believe me, you don’t doddle!!
April 10, 2009 at 10:42 am
hmmmmmmm, i go left.
with a list.
April 10, 2009 at 10:43 am
I’m so with you on staying out of the stores! I don’t shop very often. I’m too busy with work, family, friends and hobbies, but wow, when I went to the mall in November to do Christmas shopping, I couldn’t believe all the stuff I wanted! It’s ridiculous. I didn’t need any of it, but I saw things I didn’t know I wanted until I went to the mall. It’s a very good thing I had my Christmas budget in cash in envelopes in my purse, or it could have gotten very ugly, very quickly!!
The grocery store tricks are another reason I shop at a low price grocery store-they don’t have samples, they don’t have an in-house bakery (if I need a bakery item for a special occasion, I make a special trip-it saves me in the long run, believe me!), they don’t have much other than food, and I know the store like the back of my hand. Armed with my list I can do a week’s shopping in about 20 minutes! I see it as a challenge to stick to my list every week and to not let the sneaky marketers “win” by getting me to part with money I didn’t intend to part with!
April 10, 2009 at 10:48 am
I work in the produce department of a chain grocery store. The company sends us diagrams of where to put each item, including what to put in the front of the store right inside the doors – the first item people will see as they enter. I can guarantee that it is never the cheapest item. Most people will purchase the apples that they first see. The cheapest ones are on the opposite side of the stand.
Something I have noticed is that men and women differ in the package size they will buy. Mushrooms, for example. We keep all our mushooms, bulk and packaged, in the same place. Men are much more likely to buy packaged, sliced, mushrooms, and women buy bulk.
First when I started working at the store, I worked in file maintenance and noticed a few things about the placement of products. I have noticed, just like you said Gail, that the most expensive product is at eye level. The sugary, kids cereals are placed at their eye level. The healthiest cereals are placed, most often on the top shelf.
One very nice thing about the store I shop (and work) at, that I don’t see at any other local grocery store, is unit pricing. Each tag has the unit price for each item so that you don’t spend tons of time trying to figure out which brand is actually cheaper. I do spend the time to compare. I get an employee discount as well.
I use a list and only shop once a week. A couple of weeks ago, I did need to go into the store for something that I forgot (a lemon), and a co-worker commented that I was shopping a lot that week! I know I’m doing all right when now I can go into the store and only buy that 1 lemon.
————————
I would like to thank you so much Gail. I have been a fan of you and your show for a long time and you (and the individuals who comment here) have helped my family so much.
We knew we needed to follow a budget since my mat leave is over and I wasn’t returning to teaching full-time until our daughter goes into grade 1. My hubby changed jobs so he could see our daughter more than 30 min. a day and would, as a result, not get as much overtime ( although he is working today and making 2.5 times his normal wage). Our income was cut by 51%. We accepted that and said that we would do anything we needed to do to make it work for our little princess.
We started an RESP fund for our daughter when she was 2 months old as well.
I work at the grocery store a few hours a week (after our daughter goes to bed) and tutor in the afternoons. We have had to make huge adjustments to our lifestyle but it is worth it. Thanks to you and those wonderful jars, we have been following a budget for about 4 months now, and have increased our net worth by $15000!!
April 10, 2009 at 10:51 am
The rest of my comment got chopped off. I will summarize in one sentence.
Following a budget has helped our family get rid of some debt and increase our net worth by $15 000 in 4 months.
Thanks Gail!!
April 10, 2009 at 11:38 am
I turn north.
We have been spending 140$ a week on groceries when going to the Metro stores lately, downtown Toronto. So I switched to Nasr, an Arabic store to the north of us. Ended up with 70$ bill but have to buy the milk somewhere else, so add another 10$. Also once in a while I load up on cereal from Metro, another 30$.
That’s a huge difference, though.
We mostly buy veggies, fruits (about 20 oranges a week), milk and meat.
April 10, 2009 at 11:41 am
btw I also turn right but that’s how it should be, that’s where the fruits and veggies are. It’s become a ritual that I first fill my cart with fruits and veggies – that’s the only section I dillydally, the medjool dates, and then I beeline to put in bread, milk, meat. And exit.
April 10, 2009 at 11:54 am
Good Friday morning to all!
It’s an interesting question as to which way you move around a store (according to your needs and likes) and why the layout of the store was devised as it obviously has been. I might say that I don’t get the turn right point at all. What’s this shopping psychology about?
I do agree that milk, dairy products and most frozen goods are at the farthest areas in the stores. Breads vary in location but tend to be close to the dairy or frozen food area. Some stores are divided virtually north to south once you enter with the pharmacy and the ready to go /deli sections backing each other. You are forced to go around the whole area to the back or you need to cross over to the right at the front of the store to get to the rest of the aisles (over to the bread, dairy etc.) quickly.
Would this be part of your answer?
April 10, 2009 at 12:46 pm
My mum always told me to shop the outside.
April 10, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Yes, I totally turn right! I try to restrict my shopping to one trip a week. It really does help to cut down on spending. That and having small cranky children with me who make lingering pretty unappealing.
My worst splurges are on kid’s stuff. It’s all so cute. And in my defense they do grow out of stuff quickly, so re-stocking fairly frequently is necessary. It’s just easy to get carried away.
April 10, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Last month I knew that we were overspending on groceries. We have never planning menues that well, although we always cook with what we have. Anyway, we were able to get a new mortgage due to our bankruptcy being finished yeh, and on April 1st when the money came in, I cleared out our debt that we had accumulated, personal loans with family and friends for our student loans and downpayment and low credit card debt. I decided to start on your interactive budget and downloaded my bank statement as we do internet banking. I added up all of our groceries and was completely shocked at how much we spent on groceries by not following a menu and not always going with a list.
Wow, usually, we go with a list, and the days when I can pass by the displays without getting suckered in I am always impressed.
I go to diferent stores and compare prices. Now to plan the menu.
April 10, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Currently, I work 3 days per week until 10pm & DH works shift work. This has made meal planning very difficult so I tend to just keep the same basics in the house each grocery trip.
DH will be laid off as of the of May and I will be returning to work fulltime day shift as of the same time. I’m so thankful to be able to switch to fulltime. As much as it sucks that my husband will be losing his job, I am hopeful that he might find another job that has more regular work hours. It would be nice to have more consistency now that we have a child.
I’m looking forward to meal planning and living more of a routine. Plus with less time off work, Im sure I’ll save some money too! No time for shopping!!
I have to agree 100% with Gail. Shop with a list when you need to shop, otherwise – stay away!!
Today on a walk in the park, I think I saw the true sign of Spring – dandilions!! I was pleasantly suprised.
I wish you all a lovely Easter Weekend. : )
April 10, 2009 at 7:38 pm
I turn left (that’s where the fruits and vegetables are).
Nice slip: “you’ll have to walk buy all the other stuff ” that made me laugh.
I try to shop the perimiter, with little dives into the center for things on my list. I happily impulse buy fresh produce, and make sure to check the marked down meats, and I always skip the deli and bakery sections completely unless there is a special ocassion.
Of course that is just grocery shopping…. as far as retail goes, I scan the room for the discount racks and head there if I am forced to enter at all. If what I am looking for is not already on the cheap rack I move on…. I have been known to go out to shop for a pair of badly needed jeans to come with nothing because I couldn’t find a fit I liked with a price I would pay! Sounds like a waste of time and feels like it too, but it prevents buyers remorse. It drives my hubby nuts… he goes, finds his size and buys it no matter the price. But he is not an impulse shopper, he is a TASK shopper.
April 10, 2009 at 10:08 pm
If I have a list and IF I have cash, I am ok. If I do not have a list or if it is going on debit, I often lose control. I may well go in with the best intentions but something snaps…nothing I can put a finger on, and then I go hazy and just buy. What do I buy? fruits, snacks, cheeses, pastries or chocolate.
In each of the stores here in town I go to, I go left.
April 10, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Happy Good Friday Everyone,
We head straight ahead into the fruit & vegetable sections when we shop. If the prices are reasonable we purchase otherwise we pick another fruit/veg. We then will go to each aisle heading & head down it only to retrieve list items otherwise we skip to the next aisle . If nothing is on the list we head to the next aisle. We then head to the bread, milk,meat sections & finish in the frozen section. Thankfully the stores that we frequent do not have a lot of non-food items that tempt us to spend.
My husband always asks before we go to the check out if there is anything else you can think of that we need. We always pay cash.
We always shop with a list which we both have compiled . My husband enjoys sitting with the newspaper flyers and planning sale purchases from various stores. We have a notepad magnet on the fridge door that is for our grocery list & other places to shop.I add to the list when an item is getting low, finished, or for a future meal.
We go together whenever possible. If I don’t go the result is a lot of surprise purchases & missing a few items resulting in another trip. It seems to work better to stay on budget if we work together & are accountable to each other.
Have a lovely Easter:)
April 10, 2009 at 10:28 pm
I forgot to mention the “impulse buy” soemthing I never intended to get when I left the house….
Let’s see,
1. food processor (it was the demo model and I’d been looking for some time so I just took the opportunity to save a couple hundred bucks on something I intended to get eventually)
2. couch (again I’d been looking for a long time for just the right one, and this one hopped into my line of view)
3. a motor scooter.
4. a car…. actually more than one. I love cars, especially cheap interesting ones that need some love. Good thing my husband likes to work on them!
April 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm
My weakness is definitely Costco. I enter that place with the intention of buying very specific things – usually meat and fish. I never seem to leave that place with less than $100 worth of purchases – usually clothes. I have had to stop myself from going to Costco and I force myself to shop at more expensive (but ultimately cheaper) grocery stores.
April 10, 2009 at 11:55 pm
I think I spend longer in the grocery store than most people because I hunt around for the very best prices. It takes time to squint at the unit costs, squat down to reach products on the bottom shelves and compare them with the ones on the middle & top, and sort out which coupons I have and whether they turn the products I”m interested into a better deal. I’m sure most people would get frustrated shopping with me!
I think the best strategy, is like you say, Gail, to shop less often. Moving to a small town means that there are fewer stores to pass on my daily routine. Plus, my new “zero edible food waste household campaign” means that I shop less often – about once every two weeks – in my effort to eat up all the food in my house before I go shopping. Avoiding the stores has made a big difference in how much I regularly spend.
I think I save a lot of money by shopping consciously. I can’t say that I haven’t been taken in by all of those ploys at some point in my life, (and occassionally I let my guard down and treat myself with magazines, junk food, etc, but living frugally means that I shop carefully, mindfully and purposefully. It takes time but saves a lot of money, and in the end I take home what I need.
April 11, 2009 at 9:20 am
Hello
I am writing to you while I am watching your TV show.
I am so new to Canada ( just a year)and I live with my husband he s been here for ten years.we are about to move to his parents place as we can not afford the costs of rent and all other stuffs.this is only my husband who works and his income does not even come to $2500 monthly. weekly 500 approximately that s how much he get from his job as a auto part delivery driver.
I have applied so many where but i could not find any job due to the lack of experience in Canada and today I am just going for an interview for painting and renovation job.
I am so desperate and deeply depressed and can not help any more with money management as he is not the one who can deal with money wisely and he has his family support on what ever he does and I am very close to give up on everything.
I thought may be you could help us to save the marriage which is falling apart because of financial mismanagement and hate is growing between us after two years of marriage so fats and fast and fast.
we live in Toronto,richmond Hill.
i hope to hear from you
thanks
Ziba
April 11, 2009 at 9:42 am
Sometimes making the grocery list is overwhelming for people. They can’t think of what they usually buy/need.
I’d like to suggest a website that I found helpful to make a masterlist for grocery shopping:
http://www.grocerylists.org/ultimatest/
It breaks down the list by section (dairy, bakery, produce etc) and also includes some things we tend to forget like tape, stamps etc.
You can print off the list and highlight what you need.
Hope that helps!
April 11, 2009 at 9:42 am
Ziba, good luck with your interview. I’m so sorry to hear that your transition to Canada has been so difficult. *HUGS*
April 11, 2009 at 12:24 pm
If I am shopping at the YIG then I go straight cuz that is where the produce section is.. if I am in teh metro then I go left becuz that is where the produce section is and that I work my way around the stores.. I find it hard to only shop once a week since I work at YIG (your independent grocer) I find I buy most stuff as I need it just because I am already there 5 days a week.. the worse is when they are reducing stuff after a reline.. sometimes I take stuff and then later on end up putting it back in the carts after I realize I already have 3 bottles of whatever it may be at home lol and I tell my self I really don’t need it 50 times lol
I now leave my money in my locker so there isn’t too many impulse buys… liek oh a chocolate bar! or oh chips! lol they say don’t grocery shop when hungry.. it’s hard to work in a grocery store when getting hungry lol
April 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Having worked in a grocery chain for 5 years while in university, I became a very good food shopper. My challenge since starting to make a decent income is to stick to a budget that is just as tight in order to pay off my student debt. Luckily my husband and I have made a plan together and now that we are sharing money I feel more accountable to our goals together.
I meal plan for the week and create lists based on the meal plan. Groceries seem to be much more expensive in BC than some regions of Canada. I know that when I visit my brother in Toronto I am always blown away at how cheap groceries are there. So when I make my list, I always plan at least two meatless nights (beans and lentils are usually our protein) and it is much cheaper. I try to plan one “exciting” meal, like lasagne or pad thai or a good stir fry, which may be more costly, but can usually be stretched to two nights or give leftovers for lunches.
Eggs also make a good protein source for creative dinners.
My biggest impulse buying usually occurs with frozen foods or meats in bulk. I also take issue with Costco! Last week I was in there to pick up bread & kitty litter. I actually was repeating those words in my head as I walked to the back to get those items. Unfortunately a pair of running shoes jumped out at me. They were my $120 shoes on sale for $29.99… and I haven’t bought new shoes in 3 years so it seemed like a good splurge.
My other tip, when I have the shopping bug in me is to come onto your blog! It gets me out of the shopping mood:)
April 11, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Hi Gail,
I agree with you totally. I am a planner but my finace that I live with loves to shop every day. He finds grocery shopping as an outting and finds enjoyment in it. I find I spend less and waste less when I plan meals and buy once. I try to limit my visits to the grocery store. I like to buy produce multiple times in smaller batches for freshness. I have been watching you show faithfully for years. I have tried to sell the jar system to him but he won’t buy in. Last month I convinced him to try the meal planning and shopping once. He went along with it but he wasn’t pleased, but at the end of the two week period he was stunned to see how much money he had left over. We also shop at a meat market for discount meats and a produce stand for most of our produce. These two places help keep our costs down.
I turn left when I go to our big chain store but that is how it is set up. I go to the right in our other stops.
Happy Easter everyone.
April 11, 2009 at 11:55 pm
I shop at the 2 closest stores to me. Loebs, and Smiths (Fruit & Veg Market). I live across the street from both. I pick up fresh things there. I know what is going on sale at Loebs by Thursday, they are putting the items by the door, and at the end displays. 99% of the time, I’m right. About every 3 weeks Tropicana orange juice is on. Either the carton or the jug. I stock up to keep me in juice till the next sale. I try not to purchase can items at Loebs, way too expensive. I walk to Walmart, pick them up there, plus bread. It’s 80-90 cents less a loaf. I pick up 4 at a time for the freezer. I pick up the meat that’s on sale at Loebs, with the except of steak, I like that fresh and not frozen. I always look at the ads, but don’t travel to several stores to save a fews cents because it doesn’t justify the travel expense.
April 12, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Depending on the store depends on which direction I go. I walk the store in the following order: produce, meat, center (pasta, canned goods, etc), dairy, eggs and frozen food. I usually have a list. I do the math as a go along. If I find I have a couple of extra bucks at the end I try and pick up a staple that I will be needing but won’t go bad especially if it is a sale item. My dad manages a grocery store so I do know many of the tricks. Since UPC shelf tags have been the standard there have been unit prices on them but make sure when you are comparing products that the tags are using the same unit. I highly suggest investigating generic/store brands. Many of these products are from the name brand company with different packaging. I personally have more than a few products that I prefer the store brand to the name brand. One thought on cereal… if you get the containers with the poor top you can buy the less expensive bag cereal and put them in the plastic containers and your kids and thier friends won’t have a clue that they are eating fruity o’s and not fruit loops.
April 13, 2009 at 9:30 am
Yesterday I went to a popular drug mart store with the intention of only buying Easter items on sale for my two nieces. Since they’re in the “teens” age, I bought 2 small eggs with prizes inside and 2 scratch tickets (they get a kick out of them)..and I saw some popcorn on special (for me).
I went to the cash counter and she rung through my order. When I went out to my car, I decided to look at my bill (which is rare for me). To my surprise, the item I picked up for me showed the regular price. So back into the store I go, and I ended up getting it free!!!…store’s policy states if the price is wrong at the cash, it’s free up to $10.00.
Loved it!…I saved $4.51 (including tax) .. It was a fabulous day.
April 13, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Yup quite often i get stuff i don’t intend to buy, the other day i went to M&Ms for chicken, and something else that was on sale for my hubby as an easter treat. I also walked out with dry garlic ribs which the owner got me to try and i love and I was hungry. They are still in my freezer, we will have them for lunch some day this week when my hubby isn’t working. I also got a Lemon Pie, mmmmm it was tasty and fried rice that was on sale, mmmm i love their rice.
We did go on a bit of a shopping spree when we got our incometax return, bought a dishwasher, yup it gets hard keeping up with the dishes with two kids and hubby working shift work. And a wii system with wii fit.
That was our splurging along with some new clothes for me that fit properly, i was down to well wearing a couple things over and over again.
yes i know we splurged, but we also paid 1600 of our debt off.
The wii fit is paying off though ive already lost about 5 or 6 lbs by using it and weve only had it a week. Im excited
April 14, 2009 at 8:58 am
Good moring all. Just getting around to reading this blog and I’m adding something. I too have worked at a grocery store and the tricks are well calcuated. For example… the store manager and the department managers get a calendar from head office for the year with dates of all the days that government cheques are issued, ie pensions, GST, social assistanace et al. You will not EVER find staples going on sale at those times and extra staff are scheduled to work the days that those cheques come out.
April 14, 2009 at 10:45 am
It’s been said that you should leave the kids at home when grocery shopping. Here’s another one…. try not to shop with your elderly mother. Especially when it is at a different chain than she usually shops in. All the different products and speciality items! Between that and the extra time it takes to examine every purchase, I end up with more ’stuff’ on my side of the cart than I need. For her, its more than shopping, its a treat, an outing. For me, it’s a disaster, if I don’t pay close attention to my list.
April 14, 2009 at 12:44 pm
HERE’S TO BUY NOTHING DAYS!!! I love it!
April 14, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Thank you Liz. You brought back some wonderful memories and made me laugh.
I don’t know if you are having this problem. Not only did it take elderly Mom forever to examine each purchase which gave me a lot of boredom time in which to also examine new, unwanted and unneeded items and stick them into my cart – but I kept losing her. Worse than trying to keep track of 12 kids at the zoo.
For someone with restricted mobility she could vanish in the time it took me to read the label on a box of cookies. And not just down the next aisle but I would find her miles away making new friends with the guys in the produce and bakery departments. Then of course the next time we shopped we had to stop by to see if Bill the produce guy had had his baby yet and then find out if Raphael had yet managed to bring his family over which of course took even more time but then again what did it matter because we had to pick the longest, slowest line at the cash since SHE was the only cashier who could be trusted not to bruise the fruit. But boy do I miss the aggravation.
And you said it perfectly. For us it is a chore that we want to get done as quickly as possible. For the elderly Moms it is an outing and social activity. In the end I gave up and decided to make it the same for me. Did my grocery shopping on my own and chose a separate day to go to lunch with Mom and do her shopping. Unfortunately that meant also going to the bank with her and since the GIRLS were her BFFs the job of simply cashing a cheque took at least an hour. And heaven forbid if she wanted to go into her safety deposit box to “just check to make sure her Grandmother’s pearls were still there.” !@#!!$%%% it’s a VAULT with a two foot thick steel door!!! And a guard with a !@#!!$%%% gun!!! I did try to teach her to use the ATM but I don’t remember how that turned out. I think I had a stroke.
April 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Maureen, ditto on taking mom out!! We were in the KFC drive thru, her favorite place in the world, and I had said I would pay. She was driving, so I passed my debit card, and told her my pin, which she promptly relayed to the clerk to use!!! Mom, bless her heart, has no clue about technology and doesn’t trust them to do automated deposits of her pension cheques. Since she still lives on the farm, even tho dad died five years ago, any trip to town involves 35 miles of driving, which encourages the same visiting you mentioned. Coming to the city, 70 miles away, means shopping in ALL the favorite stores, especially Liquidation World (she calls from there to say she is in the city – we call it her ‘office’), and Superstore. She loves the discount bins, and always buys something. Judging by the look of her cold storage room, she has enough food to last through another decade, and I have tried to convince her to quit shopping, to no avail. Ditto garage sales – her basement is piled high with “Christmas presents” right down to any unborn great grandchildren!!! I guess growing up during the Depression leaves one feeling that there is never enough stockpiled. I try real hard not to be like my mom in that regard, although my sons tell me that I am just that forgetful (couldn’t find my PJ shirt the other night, then realized I was already wearing it!!). Son #3 and I just came back from a shopping trip to the BIG city yesterday, with list in hand, and X amount of dollars to spend. Since we got our lovely Golden Retriever back two weeks ago, I can’t believe the amount of hair I have swept up. Anyhoo, several pet stores had tried to convince us to buy the”Furminator”, a gadget that de-sheds dogs and cats amazingly. Well, one sales clerk showed us they had a kit, which included shampoo, conditioner, a bath scrubbing thingy, the Furminator, and a ‘Shamwow’ type of cloth, for a kit price of $49.99, compared to the individual “Furminator” which sold for $69.99!!! Go figure. Even though it wasn’t on the list, a brush was, and they are around $10 and we needed shampoo anyway. sooooo the kit was bought. And I must say, it works like it says it does. Sometimes a splurge is something that you come across that you were thinking of anyway, just not at that particular time.
Maureen, you should try taking your mom camping!! We (teenage son and I) took 71 year old mom to Dinosaur Provincial Park in Alberta, and many interesting places along the way a few summers ago. She was a trooper, hiking, etc, sleeping out under the stars the one night we were too lazy to set up the tent, and of course cooking over a fire, her favorite part. The funniest part was when she wanted to borrow $20 from me, so she could buy us supper!!! We gotta enjoy them while we still have them. Mom won’t be camping with us again, since she broke her hip last summer, but I think she will remember that holiday for a long time.
April 16, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Forgot to mention – my mom isn’t five feet tall, and she can also disappear in the blink of an eye. We always threaten that we are going to get her a hat with a flag on the top, so we can see her over the aisles!! I also forgot to mention that we left her touring the streets of Canmore, Alberta while son and I went for a mountain hike, and she managed to find 6 people from her home town!!! Brings a smile to my face even now remembering it!!
April 16, 2009 at 5:59 pm
OMG Suzanne!
My Mom shrank with old age and osteo to the point that she could disappear behind a speed bump in the grocery store parking lot. Not only did we threaten her with a hat and flag but the Hubster actually made her one – as a joke – and she turned the joke back on to him by insisting on wearing it! He kept trying to disappear down different aisles but he could not escape that bobbing flag.
I never got the chance to camp with Mom during her senior years – did lots before – but I did make the fatal mistake of convincing her to join a gym with me. Beware of those BOGO deals. So hard to resist the bargains. I didn’t actually save any money because if it was only Buy One Get One I wouldn’t have stirred my lazy butt to join at all so I would have “saved” a fortune. She sooooo totally embarrassed me. The first time I rode the exercise cycle my speed thingy didn’t even register and she (aged 80) was whipping along like Lance Armstrong on the Tour de France. And did the hunky trainers help me? NO. They were too busy flirting with her and never left her side.
All joking and funny memories aside I am glad that I was there to look out for her as she aged. Especially financially. We all need to be on guard for our old folks. Old people are very vulnerable because they are very trusting. That is why con men/women target them. My Mom was a savvy business woman who could really take care of the money but as she aged she lost interest and since she knew everyone whom she dealt with she thought she was safe. And she was with most.
When we moved back to our home town I gently started running an eye over her finances and some things I discovered were clearly just mistakes – both on her part and on the part of others – but there was also some serious negligence and crooked stuff going on. At that time we hadn’t yet started to deal with our financial mess – hadn’t a clue or a care- and yet I watched her finances like a hawk. Go figure.
I quickly found out that the young men who were doing her yard work and whom she had known since they were kids were ripping her off. Fortunately I was there one day when they dropped off their invoice and could stop Mom from handing over a practically blank cheque.
I didn’t want to upset her so I took the “boys” outside and asked why they were charging her for 4 weeks of grass cutting when they only came three times. They said it was a clerical error and that they forgot that one time they couldn’t come because of the rain. In the Okanagan in August? It’s a freaking desert. With rattlesnakes!
They tried to laugh it off so I also asked why they charged her so much for trimming the hedge. They said yes they had done it 5 weeks ago and look how good it looks. I said I would pass the compliment on to my husband since we moved back home at that time and the first thing the Hubster did was trim the hedge because it was so overgrown. Mom wouldn’t let me fire them so I enjoyed myself by following them around every time they came to do the yard work. Even put on white gloves and checked the cherry trees for dust. One developed a twitch and the other kept looking over his shoulder and muttering so my work was done.
Over the past 30 year we have probably spent a couple thousand dollars trying to find a dog and cat brush that actually works. If the Furminator works and costs only $69.99 it is worth every penny. I have worn out five!!!! vacuum cleaners trying to keep up with the shedding. Cats, dogs, rabbits, husbands – it’s endless. Up here there is a lady who actually collects dog hair, spins it and then knits sweaters with it. She charges a fortune and cannot keep up with demand even though they smell like wet dog when it snows. I wanted to buy one for the Hubster but he said not to bother since with his luck the Rottweiler next door would probably fall in love with him.
April 17, 2009 at 4:25 am
Maureen, you are such a hoot! My Furminator actually only cost $49.99, including the other goodies. I temporarily considered saving Bailey’s hair for spinning, when I saw the huge pile D.J. had removed from her back – about a grocery bag full. Then I thought better of it. I figure it will take a couple of hours to do the job fully, but from the looks of it, I would recommend it to pet owners. The hair everywhere is the only drawback to having Bailey back, other than the fact that I can’t sleep in anymore, crappy when one works ten hour closing shifts at a casino – 2 or 3 am coming home. And speaking of mothers, or any elder family member, you are absolutely right. We have to step in and look after them, financially, physically, emotionally. I will likely spend three of my four weeks off this summer at the farm with mom, and come home a basket case!! Gotta be nice to my boys, cuz their turn is coming soon…..
April 17, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Hi Suzanne
$49.99 is an even better deal. Will look for one up here. We walk the dog on the miles of snow mobile trails around where we live. These trails are also used by the Mushers to train their sled dogs. In the spring we are always attacked by giant “dandelion” fluff. Actually it is dog hair. The Huskies “blow” their coats and most have 3 layers.
Dogs are actually like trees. They shed because of the amount of light not the temperature. Our vet told us this many years ago and it sure explained why our dogs seemed to shed all year round. Of course they are spoiled rotten, more indoor than outdoor dogs. I have to shove the Husky Cross out the door to pee when the temperature is 25 below or lower and then he gets really cross. In fact I should get an honorary degree in the science of automatic door opening since I spend so much time letting them in and out.
Out door dogs do not shed in the winter but indoors do. Their coats do not recognize the difference between natural light and light bulbs. In the winter the light is on for at least 18 hours a day (daylight plus the lamps) just like in the summer time so their biological clocks get completely messed up. Then of course we throw daylight savings time at them and their shedding goes into overdrive. Isn’t having to reset all the clocks and VCRs punishment enough?
A funny thing we noticed is that in the spring the ravens and the squirrels go nuts collecting the shed hair. We never saw this behaviour down south. A ranger we know told us that they use the hair to line their nests. So of course I decided to help the poor little creatures by spreading my surplus hair all over the trees in our yard. Stupid beasts never touched it so now all our trees look like they have a fungal infection. The Hubster said it is probably because I mixed cat hair in with the dog hair.
How do you handle the vet bills? We used to have a credit card that was just for the bills and it was always maxed out. The older the animals get the more vet care needed. We paid it off and now we put aside a set amount each month in a savings account. Still not very satisfactory because one illness or injury can be ruinous but the insurances we had never seemed to cover what we needed while costing a fortune. But we are not the kind of pet owners who can give up without a fight for life.
Years ago we worked out a barter system with our vet. Sadly none of the vets here are interested. Our old vet would give us an invoice for his services and then he would phone us when he needed something done. When his regular staff was away we cleaned cages, fed and walked the inmates of his boarding kennels and cattery, cleaned up around his farm barns (who knew horses and cows pooped so much?) and I did some bookkeeping for him. Even baby sat his brats for a weekend while he and the wife went off on a dirty weekend. We would keep track of the hours we worked and he would “pay” us the same rate he paid his regular staff and just subtract our “earnings’ from what we owed. It was truly great because we were never afraid to take the pets in. Felt free to panic and over react. Now we hesitate to spend the money (the cost of veterinary services is horrific now-a-days) and try to wait out the symptoms to see if there is really something going on. A couple of times it nearly cost us dearly. But I now understand why the people in the USA who do not have health insurance delay going to the doctor and so many have no yearly medical care at all. Just walking in the door of our vet clinic costs $40 and an emergency after hours visit has a $120 price tag before any treatment is even administered. Thought that tacking that $120 onto the euthanasia fee was just a little cold. Just saw on the news that with the recession in the USA the Humane Society has taken in over a million and a half animals more than usual. Money affects everything.