Setting Goals 2: Be flexible
Posted by Gail | Filed under Goals
There’s a big difference between knowing where you’re going, and knowing how you’re going to get there. And there’s a huge difference between being a slave to a plan and using your plan as a guide as you move toward your goal. Did you know that commercial flights file a flight-path for every trip they make? Did you know that they’re off that flight path about ninety percent of the time? And yet they arrive, usually on time.
If you know where you’re going, and you have a plan for how to get there, you’re still going to have to make corrections as you go to deal with whatever it is that life throws in your way. If the winds are a little stronger than you thought, you’ll have to give yourself more time. If you hit turbulence, you may have to change altitude. You must have the flexibility to deal with what comes up if you want to end up at your final destination.
When I got married I knew I wanted to have kids, but I never imagined just how much they would change my life. I went from being a consultant to a freelance writer to a stay-at-home-mom to a TV personality. How could I possibly have predicted where life was going to take me? And if I hadn’t been flexible in dealing with whatever was thrown at me, there are a dozen places at which I’d have just given up.
If you lay and plan and then follow it blindly without conscious awareness of your goals, how will you see the unexpected opportunity that arises? If you do, will you stick to your original plan, missing the opportunity, or will you take the risk of going off-plan to take full advantage of the opportunity?
A plan followed blindly is as bad as no plan at all. And yet, sometimes when we set a goal for ourselves, we become so slavishly committed to meeting that goal that we can’t see the damage we’re doing to ourselves elsewhere in our lives. We rack up credit card debt because we’re determined to pay off the mortgage in 10 years or less. We ruin our relationships with partners because we’re so committed to being debt-free that we become uncaring other people’s needs and of whatever else is happening around us. We have our hearts so set on a summer wedding that we are unwilling to delay for even a few months to avoid putting the party on credit.
That’s not to say that every change in our circumstances means another path to take. A change simply means we must pause to THINK, to re-evaluate. Sometimes sticking with the original plan and avoiding distractions is what will get us to our goals. Sometimes a slight adjustment in the plan will suffice. Sometimes a whole re-write is necessary. Ultimately, however, if you have a clear goal, you’ll figure out where to correct for the winds and turbulence with which you’re faced.
Can you think of a goal you have set for which the plans have changed? How did you deal with the change? Did you ultimately reach your goal? What benefits did you derive from your change of plans? Or what consequences did you suffer by changing course?
March 25, 2009 at 7:44 am
Stuff happens…I was merrily going along in my job then encountered some bumpy periods, leading me to take a U-turn, start my own business and get into dept for a while. But then I made back the $, made wonderful memories, got a lot of recognition, and enrich my life. Sometimes health matters can interfere with plans too.
March 25, 2009 at 9:35 am
My father once told me that to be successful in life you need to be like a tree that grows straight towards the sun (it’s goal) but is still flexible enough to bend with the wind… if a tree were too rigid on a very windy day it would just snap in half! I think he was right.. and you are too Gail. I’ve learned that no matter how well you plan sometimes you have to keep that goal in mind and just take a detour towards it when there’s a roadblock. Thanks for your words of wisdom… on a side note – My husband, daughter and I are going to try to get to the picnic in the park in July. If we can we’re bringing lasagna. Hope everyone likes Italian! I’ll know more closer to the date
March 25, 2009 at 10:47 am
I’m so jealous…I wish I lived in Ontario! I’ll be at the picnic in spirit! I’ll just have to settle for reading the blogs.
I totally agree with today’s post! I have a plan, but try hard not to be too anal about it..although sometimes I get upset with hubby when he spends stupidly! I just try to take everything one day at a time – which is hard for me because I like to see instant results…ugh…but I am noticing a huge difference in the last several months. It’s amazing what just $20/week can do to a loan! Love Gail!!!
March 25, 2009 at 11:42 am
This too hits home for me. I am so focused on getting rid of our debt that my husband constantly have to remind me that we have to enjoy life as well. We’ve made great progress but of course, I want it gone and I want it gone NOW.
March 25, 2009 at 11:58 am
Gail, what are the goals you’ve set for yourself going forward? How do you plan to achieve them? How much wiggle room have you left yourself? Who do you turn to for help in reaching those goals? Thanks for sharing.
March 25, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I have met all the big goals by looking at the goal and just finding a way to get there.
Kind of like starting a hike with a mountain peak in sight, determined to get as far up that mountain as possible. If there is a stream in the way, the short term goal develops to get across the stream safely, once across, I re-adjust my heading towards the main objective again…. I never fixate on the big goal, the best path is not always a straight line! But I don’t let the short term crisis’s and derailments deter me for too long if the big goal is still important. To use the same analogy, I have faced a rather dificult obsticle only to notice a different mountain that is actually more suited to my life than the first, and changed my life….. having a child with a learning disability did that for me (suddenly university for him seems so much less important than trying to help him develop into a happy, productive, meaningfully-employed adult!)
My big goals have always been less about the stuff and more about the quality of life. (The stuff is easy, and too easy to change or fall out of love with.) My house is not about the square footage, it’s about the homeyness, the furniture is not about the style or newness, it’s about comfort and durability… my relationships are not about popularity or appearances, they are about love and mutual support… by having those things as my goals I have taken some very surprising turns over the years, even I was surprised at some of the outcomes! But 90% of the time it is good.
March 25, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Great post, Gail. Being flexible and re-evaluating is so important. Life changes in ways we don’t expect; unexpected things arise, and sometimes your own needs, goals and dreams change. I had intended on starting my own business this year and I realized it’s just not the right time, so now I’m looking for a job. I think it’s important to be honest with yourself, be aware when things aren’t right, acknowledge when you make mistakes, and know that it’s okay to change your mind.
Didi, great to hear that you’re coming! If you haven’t already, please post this info on the forum so that I can do a count closer to the date! Thanks!
March 25, 2009 at 10:03 pm
I’m currently in the middle of “goal-changing”. Well, sort of.
I’m in graduate school, completing my PhD. My original goal was to finish my undergrad, then attend teacher’s college. But something just didn’t seem right, so when I finished I decided to pursue a graduate degree instead. Five years later, I’m still working on it, and thankfully, enjoy what I do.
Unfortunately, I’ve had lots of bumps along the way. For starters, I do not have supportive parents. I have two very old fashioned and controlling parents that would rather see me get married, raise babies, and live close to home. Apart from having to contend with their disappointments, I’m terrified at the current economic situation.
When I began my degree, there were many job opportunities. Now that the economy has taken a nose-dive, universities are closing their doors to new hires. So, I’ve decided to change course. My ultimate goal is to work in a university, but I realize that I may need to gain other employment first. So, I applied for a job with the federal government — and got it! (Pat on the back). It’s just part-time, and on a contractual basis, but it’ll give me experience I otherwise wouldn’t have had, and, most importantly, provide me with income that will ensure that I won’t have to move back home with my unforgiving parents.
I hope to finish my degree in the next year. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if I’ll get that university job. I don’t know if I’ll be working in government. I don’t know, I can’t know. All I can do is keep my doors open. If an opportunity arises, I’ll take it. If an opportunity doesn’t arise, I’ll have to create one. Ultimately, my destiny is in my own hands and at the end of the day I only have myself to answer to. As long as I’m honest with myself, and never give up trying to attain my goals, I can never be disappointed with the outcome.
March 26, 2009 at 1:47 am
My latest goal is to try to get rid of the debt in my life. I learned, after reading Blair Singer’s latest book “Little Voice Mastery” that it all starts and ends with me- I have been the one holding myself back from succeeding. I know I knew this all ready, I just didn’t know how to utilize this knowledge till after reading Blair’s amazing book. If you are interested, the author is offering a download of a free chapter in pdf or mp3 on his home page. It is a very beneficial book.
March 29, 2009 at 5:04 am
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May 10, 2010 at 8:47 am
Thanks Gail sooo Much. I never miss a show on cnbc. Your Wesite is wonderfully helpful. Keep up the wonderful work. Yes , I would very much like to see follow up on some of the couples you helped on T.V. It would be most interesting to see how they handled whatever curve ball life threw their way . Much Blessings to you and yours