Comments on: Planning Your Funeral

By: The Options Surrounding Death Insurance « Wicked Blogging

The Options Surrounding Death Insurance « Wicked Blogging — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 00:45:11 +0000

[...] Planning Your Funeral « gailvazoxlade.com [...]

By: My New Plan for Retirement - Final Expense Insurance - The Blog Planet

My New Plan for Retirement - Final Expense Insurance - The Blog Planet — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 17:30:15 +0000

[...] Planning Your Funeral « gailvazoxlade.com [...]

By: Susan Mladenovich

Susan Mladenovich — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:45:51 +0000

Does anyone know the rules/laws about spreading ashes? I have heard that you are not allowed to spread ashes in most places.

Susan

By: Kory

Kory — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:25:51 +0000

Great article Gail. You’ve simplified the language of pre-planning and pre-paying. You also hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that many nursing homes make pre-planned funerals mandatory as part of their acceptance of a new client. What you might not know, however, is that in Toronto, there is a service called Remember Network that will actually do all the planning and the actual service at the nursing home at your request – and it costs about half as much because you bybass the funeral home entirely, saving you the costs of fancy vehicles and room rentals to name a few. It also allows the deceased’s elderly friends and care staff to easily attend the service.

By: Donna

Donna — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 22:36:55 +0000

Further to organizing your funeral it would be VERY helpful to those left behind to have your updated information needed for your obituary. I spent many hours trying to get the information for my Dad’s obit.
Family left behind, Predeceased family names (spelling of these names are important as I soon discovered) Clubs and organizations that he was a member of , past employment, War information, I learned so much that was not talked about much.

By: Lise

Lise — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:57:10 +0000

In November 2007 I had to very quickly plan my husbands funeral after his sudden death. We had nothing planned and no money set aside for emergencies. It cost me $10,000.00 just for the funeral, this did not include flowers, headstone, plot, and extras such as food and liquor for all the visitors, stamps for thank you cards, clothes for my children for the church, pet care (we stayed with my parents for a week), food for the reception after the internment,. The extras added up very quickly all in all in cost me somewhere in the number of $15,0000.00. Fortunately I have a huge support system and live in an amazing community. This was a very stressful, and expensive (but well learned) lesson, that I will not repeat. Although I have not done a preplanned funeral I have taken insurance that will pay for my funeral plus added expenses for myself and my children.

By: Funeral Home Services

Funeral Home Services — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:00:19 +0000

Hi,

Interesting post and I agree with Marie.

By: Lisa M

Lisa M — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:53:15 +0000

Thanks for clarifying that the EFA is protected April W; much appreciated! The benefits of ‘locking in the price’ as well as saving your loved ones the organizational grief is certainly something to think about.

By: April W.

April W. — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 14:39:22 +0000

Lisa M.: If you have funds in an EFA, and the funeral home goes out of business, yes your funds are still protected! The funeral home has to put the funds in a trust with a bank, credit union, etc. Should your funeral service provider of choice cease to exist, you would be notified, and given an opportunity to transfer your contract to another funeral provider, or to have the funds returned to you.

Someone quoted prices for services, and although they are good, do not expect that every funeral home will match it. Take the approach of ’shopping around’ and contact several funeral service providers in your area. Ask them to send you a price list (by law they must give you one when asked). Base your decision on how well they treated you, not just by price. Consider the value for your money.

When dealing with funeral service providers, you are usually dealing with different companies…you have to pay the cemetery for the burial lot (either for a casket or cremated remains), you have to pay the cremation service for the actual cremation, and you have to pay the funeral home for the casket, embalming, services, vehicles, and maybe an urn if required.

The best thing about pre-arranged, pre-paid funeral contracts is that you ‘lock’ in the price at the time you sign it, regardless of when you actually use it.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 23:54:22 +0000

Hello, my name is Catherine and I am a wimp when it comes to all things funeral/funeral homes, and death. I’m dead against them – pun intended. I almost have panic attacks going to a funeral home, but am better at an actual funeral service. The playing of Amazing Grace on the bag pipes does me in, and the hymn ‘A Walk In The Garden’ does as well. My parents favourites.
My Mom started telling me she and my Dads wishes when I was in my early 20’s. I couldn’t hear it. Would just burst into tears. It took years before I could handle that conversation. She always wished my hubby good luck after they were gone and laughed.
Well, I have survived. Dad passed away in 96 and Mom in 99. I miss them both so much, every single day.
I’ve written out my own wishes. I’ve told my hubby and kids. Because I’ve always been so in to geneology and have had such a terrible time finding ancestors (I’m only back to the 1700’s), I want to be found if down the road someone is looking.
Hubby wants to be cremated and thrown into his favourite spot – a lake. Not me. I will be cremated and buried in the last plot my grandparents bought eons ago – where Mom and Dad are also cremated and buried (Dad ’sat’ on a shelf for those 3 years because they wanted to be buried at the same time and I arranged it all in 99) and my name and birthdate is already engraved on the back of their headstone – just have to add the ‘end date’.
It’s a difficult topic, but one you have handled very well Gail….

By: an ostrich named sam

an ostrich named sam — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 23:34:16 +0000

My 16 year old and I have had this conversation more than once in the past 2 months ( neither one of us are ill btw). She wants to be cremated and turned into a “gem stone”, while I want to be cremated too and my ashes spread around to my favorite places. I’m having my will done up for the first of May and will ensure that my lawyer knows exactly what I want along with my DD, in case something ever happened to the 2 of us.

MY DD wants to have a celebration of her life if anything happens, and I’d want a memorial service.

By: Pol*

Pol* — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 23:14:23 +0000

I admit, I saw the topic title and wanted to cover my ears – NAH, NAH, NAH I can’t hear you…..

But I pressed on to actually read it and am surprised and delighted with the way you presented such an unpleasant topic. My husband and I have a will and life insurance, but we have never discussed the actual funeral thing. We recently went to a funeral that was nicely done, but I realized as the presentation went on that the chaplain must not have known my uncle… and that was kind of sad, he was hired to be there. It made me think about who might present the final words of encouragement to the surviving members of my family on my passing….

As a matter of fact I am going to look more into this EFA thing. I am only in my 30’s but y’never know, right?

By: Marie

Marie — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:33:11 +0000

Amanda and Diana F:
That is why I told me executor where the info is located. I should have specified that earlier!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:04:18 +0000

To Marie:

I have worked in a law office and have assisted preparing wills and powers of attorney. The lawyer’s suggestion was to always put your funeral wishes in your power attorney as well because usually, no one looks at your will until after the funeral and everything is more settled.

Just a thought for anyone preapring their will and powers of attorney …

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:33:15 +0000

As a claustrophobic person, I have always told my family I do not want to be buried – regardless of “what difference will it make, you’ll be dead!” Pre-planning your own funeral is the only way to guarantee that you get what YOU want. When my dad passed away five years ago, all five of us siblings went with mom to make the arrangements that they never thought of (he died in his sleep unexpectedly). Mom knew he wanted to be cremated, but in small town fashion, a viewing was had. I remember mom feeling sick that he would be displayed in his best western suit jacket, and that it would be burned later. I also remember how embarassed she felt, when she “pretended” to forget his cowboy boots, and how mad one of my brothers was that dad was not “buried with his boots on”. A sad case of practicality vs propriety. Brother #2 built a beautiful oak box for his ashes that was on display at the funeral, and it is still on display in mom’s living room. His ashes will likely never be buried or spread around. The maddening part is that the funeral home charged mom around $500 for the little plot of land where this box could be planted, $500 that she could have kept in her pocket. I agree that a funeral is for the survivors; between the viewing and funeral, almost 1,000 people showed up to see dad off (mom said some of them probably just came to make sure he was really dead!). Dad would have appreciated the humor, and the number of people who adored his musicality. I, on the other hand, cannot think that there would be 100 people showing up at mine, and do not want a big show at all. I agree with Gail – if any of my parts still work, the world is welcome to them. I also have some quirky body functions that medical science should check out. That should equal less time in the crematorium, and a smaller urn box!! I plan on setting out a plan, in writing, so my sons do not have to deal with this burden when the time comes. In the meantime, the sun is shining, and I think spring has sprung!!!