Get Rid of Your Stressors!
Posted by Gail | Filed under Life Lessons, Take Control
Very often when I work with my fams, I can see a physical change in them over the weeks that I’m with them. Sometimes, I can see it right after I’ve had my first big chat with them. It is as if the weight of the world has been lifted from their shoulders. They are lighter. Their eyes shine. They look excited. They have hope.
It’s amazing the stress we put on ourselves by the stupid, thoughtless, and consistently destructive actions we take. I mean to say people, if your debt is keeping you up at night, you need to do something about it. If you’re always wondering whether the cheque will clear or bounce half way to Jupiter, you need to do something about it. If you and your partner are getting to the point where you’re ready to scratch each other’s eyes out, you have to do something about it.
So right now, while I have your attention, grab a pencil and a piece of paper and write down your top 5 stressors.
No, don’t keep reading.
Do this. Sit and think until you’ve written down the five things that wake you at night, have you picking at your fingers or jiggling your foot, make you cringe just thinking about what needs to be done.
Identifying your stressors is a very important step in chasing that stress out in your life. Very often we choose not to face the things that are wearing us down because the idea of having to deal with them is so overwhelming we’d rather just fake it. But since, ultimately, you’re going to have to deal with the problem, ignoring it is just prolonging the pain. And it’s making you sick too, reducing your immunity, giving you headaches, backaches, and a wicked case of the runs.
So, right now, take 10 minutes to think about what stresses you out. Who in your life is making you crazy? What activities are you doing that you’re resenting every moment you’re doing them? What are you denying because the idea of facing up is just too much to even consider? And if you have anything that finishes the sentence, “I wish I didn’t…” add those to the bottom of your list.
If you procrastinate and hate where it gets you, which is always behind the eight ball, write it on your list. If you’re disorganized and hate the fact that you’re always wasting time looking for your crap, add that to your list. If you’re a Cronic Late Arriver and you hate being late, add that to the list. If you have a Master of the Universe complex and think you can control everyone and everything around you, and end up pissing people off and feeling totally underappreciated, add that to your list.
You’re half way home. Now you have to write down what you’re going to do differently so that you will eliminate this stressor from your life.
But Gail, if I knew what to do, I’d have done it already.
Not necessarily. After all, how much of what I tell people is really new information? Com’mon, be honest. I tell people not to spend more money than they make. You didn’t know that? I tell people if they don’t make enough money they have to find a way to make more. You couldn’t figure that out for yourself? I tell people who are spending too much money on crap to stop. And they do. It doesn’t take a wizard to come up with the solution to the problem. Just a person willing to look at the truth.
So this is the part where you look at your list, tell the truth, and figure out what you’re going to do to change so you can be happy.
Is there something on your list that’s an energy drain? How can you eliminate it?
Are there people in your life who are toxic? What can you do to reduce or eliminate your exposure to these people?
Does your life feel so complicated you just can’t cope? How will you simplify?
Does it feel like you’re always rushing from one errand or commitment to the next? How will you create more open periods of time in your life, where you can just relax and think? (Hey, this is a big one, so don’t just rush past it. Having time to think also gives you time to calm, and that’s good for you.)
Are you doing anything to help others? It may sound contradictory to add more tasks to your life by trying to help other people, but whether volunteering or simply making an effort to be compassionate towards people you meet, an outward focus gives you a very good feeling and lowers stress.
Are you trying to do too much? If so, simplify your To Do list, lower your expectations of what you HAVE to do, and chillax about the small stuff.
Are you taking the time to say, “thank you.” Sometimes we get so busy trying to meet demands, fix problems, deal with issues, that we forget to look at what is good in our lives. We fail to see the gifts we have been given. And it isn’t until they are lost to us that we realize what we had. How sad. So take the time to say thank you for what’s good in your life, and for the lessons your challenges are teaching you, and your stress will go waaaay down.
February 27, 2009 at 6:40 am
I was thinking about this yesterday, and I would love to know if I’m completely loopy.
One of my major stressors is our aggressive debt repayment. We’re paying back about 30% of our monthly salaries so we can have the debt cleared in a year.
But for some insane reason, the money isn’t what stresses me out. We’re doing surprisingly fine without that cash, and actually, if you asked me what I’d do with it instead of debt repayment, I wouldn’t have any good answer. RRSP maybe? Some more savings? Certainly not mad money. In fact, now that we’re used to living on 30% less, we’re hoping to keep living on maybe 20% less even when the debt is repaid. That way we’ll have a wicked savings pile!
No, what stresses me out is the actual PAYING of the debt. A big part of me just wishes my future paycheques could be garnisheed to cover the cost, and then it would be “out of sight, out of mind”.
How loopy am I? Does this stress out anyone else? Any suggestions for a decent night’s sleep?
February 27, 2009 at 7:05 am
This post couldn’t have come at a better time in my life Gail, thank YOU so much. I’ve been having sleepless nights because of the whole job/work/consultant/recession/what the heck am I going to do thing, but when I think I’ve taken a step back, gained clarity so to speak, I go to bed, and that’s when the mind is free to come up with all the wild and wooly thoughts I’ve kept at bay.
This will be my weekend project: Writing down my stressors, my “I shoulda/coulda/woulda/didn’t” list, and decide where to go from there. I did take a good step in some consolidation and reduction of debt yesterday that I’m very proud of though, so I’m slowly peeling off some of the stress-layers. I hope to wake up Monday morning with peace and clarity over my final (for now) work decision…unless I subconsciously decide to carry it around in my gunnysack until I’m forced to make a decision, right or wrong.
February 27, 2009 at 9:06 am
Kate, what in particular stresses you out about it? Do you worry about making payments on time or are distressed seeing all that money go to the credit card company, or do you have anxiety generally around actually paying bills because it forces you to look at your money and debts?
February 27, 2009 at 9:30 am
hi everyone,
gail was kind enough to set up an online Gail Club for me, it’s under Lori’s Online Club in the Gail Club message board. if you are interested in joining, please drop me a message on the board and on monday i’ll see how many people have signed up and we’ll go from there
thanks!
February 27, 2009 at 10:13 am
Dear M, I work in the investment industry so you can imagine how my job’s been going the last six months. When I read the blog I couldn’t think of too many personal things that are stressing me except house work (I can’t stand it). One thing I try to constantly tell myself about what’s going on outside of my house (and job for that matter) is that I cannot control the markets, global economy, recession, etc. so there is no sense losing sleep over that. I can only control what happens in my house so doing what I can do to get my ducks lined up at home is what helps be get a good night sleep and if that means the dusting waits one more weekend so my husband and I can sit down and ensure we’re as on track financially as we can be, then so beit.
February 27, 2009 at 10:46 am
SQ, none of it is credit card debt, thankfully. As incensed as I get seeing it go to OSAP, I think I’d more incensed at the notion of paying 18.5 interest on it, and had nothing to show for it.
I suspect I’m stressed about it because I just want it GONE. I’m sick of having this weight on my shoulders.
February 27, 2009 at 11:41 am
Kate — look on the bright side — at least it’s not debt in the size of mortgage debt. That’s depressing.
February 27, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Kate, if you are loopy, then we are loopy together. I feel exactly the same way. Regular reminders of your past mistakes are not fun.
February 27, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Kate, I just read your second post. I guess I wouldn’t consider OSAP (Ontario student loan, right?) as a “mistake”. Maybe it would help to think of it as the price you paid for a job that is not a fast food joint?
February 27, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I hate posts like this, they get me thinking and feeling trapped because there are so many of my stressors that I feel powerless to change, (like a child with a learning disability approaching puberty) but at the same time I LOVE posts like this because they make me stop and think about what’s important and influential in my life.
Stressors:
PROCRASTINATION – point in fact I am writing this instead of doing my work
HOUSEKEEPING – dog, cat, 2 boys and a husband create a stressful amount of grime and laundry, I feel like it is always disgusting in here and the laundry is NEVER DONE!!!!
SAVINGS – I know we aren’t contributing enough, it’s something I could change if I could take care of the procrastination better to get more billable hours in.
CLUTTER – It seems every nook and cranny of this place has things with no home. Unfortunately much of it isn’t mine to chuck, or we actually use it! I keep wanting to put my foot down, and that lasts for a few days at most – then I am overwhelmed again.
February 27, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I am posting something that I already posted last May but I have no idea where I posted it. I am repeating because Gail’s blog today really hit home. Stress is a killer.
For us the greatest stress came from all the running around we did.
Sprinting to the office to pick up his pay cheque. Chasing after my clients to get them to pay their invoices. Tracking down those in hiding who claimed I never mailed them an invoice. Driving back to the house to get a copy of the invoice. Racing back to the clients before they had time to skip town. Weeping and begging hysterically, then beating them up, hugging and laughing and leaving empty handed. Galloping to the bank to deposit the cheque and the coins we found stuffed down the back of the couch and praying all the while that we would out run the person to whom we had just written an NSF cheque. No time to catch our breath or think – one of us racing to the Fuel Oil Company to pay the bill in cash since they were a little testy about accepting any more of our rubber cheques and wouldn’t deliver a drop more oil until the bill was paid in full. Meanwhile the other one was waiting in ambush for the mailman just in case our medical refund had arrived so that we could circle back to the bank in time to pay the Visa so that we would not be late again and be hit with an even higher interest rate. I am telling you we were circling around in circles so fast that we were catching up to ourselves and practically disappearing up our own back sides. Exhausting. But our own fault.
This is what I posted last May.
All of our financial lives we lived from pay check to pay check, spent up to and way beyond our means and for some strange reason (da!) were stressed and unhappy and felt that no matter how hard we worked we were always running behind and could never get ahead.
That is until I discovered “Til Debt” and he had his mid-life crisis – left a great job and went back to school. Believe me it would have been a lot cheaper if he had just gotten the red sports car and the blonde but also believe me that although this was really stupidly unplanned it turned out to be the best budgeting education that no money could buy. Living on my self employed earnings and his student loans taught us the value of tracking every penny and planning ahead and the show showed us how. It was hard work, we were dirt poor, but have never been happier or more relaxed about money.
Getting a budget sorted and the jars (we actually used envelopes because we have a cat whose greatest joy is to smash things by pushing them off the counter) started takes work and lots of tweaking but is sooooooooooooooo worth it that once you get it done you will never look back.
By actually being present in our financial lives we did better (and are doing better) than we could ever have imagined. In fact – like the old Doublemint gum commercial said “Double the gum, double the fun” – we were able to “double the jars and double the funds.”
The “spare jar” (made up from what was left over in the other jars) filled up after 6 months and we were going to put it into savings when we had our first idea. Create another set of jars so that we were always running a month ahead and would never have to play catch up again. You see even with careful budgeting we had a few close calls because of time issues – pay checks not coming in until the very last day before bills were due and a power outage that took the phones, computers and ATMs down – so the fear of bouncing checks was still always present.
This save ahead system worked so well that over the next year we deposited every dollar we could get (scrimped, sold stuff and rerouted tax refunds and overtime) into our checking account until we had a whole extra months worth of expenses just sitting there. Now at the beginning of each month all the money we need for that month is already sitting in the bank (and jars) so what we earn during the month is for next month. Makes budgeting even easier.
Both my best friend and our banker made the comment that having so much “extra” money in a checking account was silly because we were losing out on the interest it could be earning. My reply to my friend was that the peace of mind this afforded us was worth every penny in lost interest and my husband’s reply to our banker was that no amount of interest paid to us by his bank would equal the cost of a single NSF check or the monthly interest rate charged on our credit cards.
We think of it as budget insurance that buys us extra security and at the same time is just another form of savings.
And NO MORE STRESS. Those fuzzy little wrinkles (okay maybe they were more like Grand Canyon craters) on my forehead have all but disappeared and the Hubster no longer twitches and ticks while opening the mail.
February 27, 2009 at 1:25 pm
One of my major stressors in the past was the inability to say no. I was constantly trying to work as many jobs to bring in more money, volunteering for different children’s programs, cleaning my house so that it looked like a house on the market ready to sell, signing my child and me up for as many activities that could fit in our schedule….it was crazy. I was crazy…I think I still am a bit but now I can at least say no, and that we need to slow down. Staying at home and relaxing is very important and is such a stress reducer.
It was really easy to come up with the 5 first stressors: Having to go back to work after a horrible car accident; keeping on budget even if we have a few extra dollars; looking for a car to replace the totalled one: and not splurging on some items that we have been wanting for some time and doing my taxes (yuck)
Thank you gail for this post…and remember please don’t ever feel stressed about writing this blog, we appreciate it but it’s ok to take days off too:)
February 27, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Copying my post from the new forum page, because this was definitely my most stressful moment so far this year:
*This is likely as good as anyplace to post this story. I am fairly new to this site, and the process, and had only just started my jars, etc. when I had a major emergency that was unplanned for! I don’t know when I will ever get sorted out at this rate. With my last paycheque not quite two weeks ago, I purchased my new glasses ($268) and a prescription ($45), using my budgeted allotment for rent since I get $200 back for the glasses and full coverage for the prescription, and would have had that in time for the end of the month. Lo and behold, son #2 calls me February 18th as I am on my way out the door to go to work – girlfriend is in labour (10 days early) and he needs a ride to the hospital – 5 hours away!!! (He was in another province, as a new truck driver/new job) Now, there is a saying along the lines of “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!”, but being the mom, and this being my first grandchild, of course I am going to make arrangements to get out of my ten hour shift, find someone to take my next three days since I am not driving that far and coming home the next day, and staying up for 34 hours so my son can get home ASAP for his first child’s arrival. Wait, I only have 3/4 tank of gas, no money cuz I spent it on my health, and it won’t be reimbursed for at least a week, and have just switched banks to a system where all money goes into savings and takes 24 hours to transfer to the usable chequing account!!! Oops, now what? Long story short, we made it (but not in time for the actual birth), through the generosity of various family members (think someplace to sleep, food to eat, etc., thank God ex-inlaws still love me!!) the weather and roads were good both directions, and this is just another lesson on being prepared. Had I not had additional funds sitting in my savings account for some of my jar categories, I don’t know what would have happened (which of course was not accessible for 24 hours). This is a big case of ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul” and will basically have me starting over with a new budget, but as this is a learning process, lots of good came out of the experience. I now know that leaving ALL my money where I can’t get at it for 24 hours is not smart. I was planning on going to see the new baby when she was supposed to come, after today’s payday (90 hours, plus stat overtime!) with four days off actually scheduled. Life does not let us get complacent, something will always pop up to rattle the cage walls!! The necessity of an emergency fund was very apparent to me through this episode, but I now have a beautiful granddaughter, and an even bigger reason to save some money. Trips to visit are not going to be cheap, but will be absolutely necessary!!!*
Like Maureen, I was anxiously waiting for my medical reimbursement to arrive, as I had used my vehicle insurance payment for gas, which is automatically deducted (but never on the original planned date), and ex husband would not come up with his self-reduced child support one week early to accommodate our gas needs to get home. Of course, he came through one day after the insurance was returned NSF, and the medical $$$’s came at the same time. Now, my bank has taken $40 for the NSF charge, and the insurance will charge me $25, making the total charges more than the original insurance payment. All because I needed $40 for half a tank of gas!!! The fact that I had to be anywhere near my ex-husband, let alone lower myself to grovel for gas money, has caused me a wheelbarrow load of stress this week. Now I have to re-juggle to cover the Insurance, and kiss the $65 goodbye, making the actual jars system another tweaking project. I could/should have said no, forcing son #2 to come up with the money for the trip, or his father to make the journey to collect him, (they live in the same town!) Now, I feel like I just entrenched in my son’s mind that mom will always come through for him, at high personal expense to myself, and have not helped teach him responsibility for his own actions/family. Truthfully, I have told him that there will not be any further bail outs, considering he left me high and dry 6 hours from home (after promising to find the $$$ to get me home if I got HIM home). This in itself is stressing me out, because I don’t want to burn any bridges, but need to instill some sense of values/responsibility, while maintaining a relationship with my son. ARGGGHHHH, the high cost of family/responsibilities……
February 27, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Oh Suzanne, been there, done it all. The juggling thing, the absolutely no money thing. the robbing Peter to pay Paul thing, the beg and borrow thing and once to my shame the actual stealing candy from a baby thing. Not the birth of a grand baby thing though so – Congratulations! Just think of the ammunition you will be able to provide her with when she is a teenager and her dad is mad at her for spending all her babysitting money on clothes. Revenge is sweet. Despite all the stress of the journey it still comes out that you kept your sense of humour and had a good time.
I now have a lot of little bits of cash hidden around my house. For emergencies. Took quite a while to gather the bits together but a loony here, a twoony there and presto! You have $50.
The only problem with hiding bits of cash around the house is that you have to remember where you put it. A real problem since I am menopausal and can’t remember nothin’.
My husband wrote the hiding places down on a piece of paper – in code to fool the burglars. Since he cannot decipher the grocery list (come on. “Cucs” is clearly cucumbers and “Toms” is tomatoes. Why would it be male cats? Since when do they sell them at the grocery store? What aisle? Are they sold by the pound or perhaps they come in a tin?) I don’t have a lot of faith in his system. I on the other hand am cleverer than I look (thank God) and mailed a sealed envelope containing the treasure map to my sister. So far I haven’t had to phone her and ask her to open it since I have always found my stashes in the end. And I have never had a cleaner and more organized house. After all if you have to empty cupboards and move the fridge you might as well sort and vacuum.
By the way for future reference – it is not safe to hide your money in your sock drawer. Socks are not to be trusted – anywhere or at anytime. I am sure that when they find all the ships and planes that disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle they will find them loaded down with all those billions of single socks (sock?) that have disappeared from dryers, drawers, suitcases, gym bags and right off the feet of unsuspecting little children.
I actually love living on cash. HA! Never thought I would live to see the day. When you can actually see the money you have to spend it takes on a personality of its own. Very shy. Doesn’t want to come out and play until forced.
When we first started the living on cash system we had to do a lot of tweaking. Every month we planned for our monthly needs and every 2 weeks we would draw out the cash and stuff the jars. But surprisingly enough after a while at the end of 2 weeks we always had something left over. This NEVER happened when we were using debit and credit cards. We always ran over and could never explain where it all went. That darned Bermuda Triangle thing again I betchya. Lost at sea along with all those chocolate chip cookies that escape from the bag just as soon as you open it.
Finding a way to start an emergency fund is really hard when you are trying to dig your way out of a mess but it is really, really important. Emergencies keep happening for some messed up Karmic reason. Even when you have made a deal with the gods and have sworn to be good. Actually, we have had more emergencies since we have been behaving ourselves than before when we were acting like jackasses. Hmmm. Maybe because the gods know how much cash we have in the emergency fund and are testing us. Or maybe we just have selective memories and were so used to living in a hole that when it got even deeper we never noticed.
We were the type of idiots that Gail has talked about. Considered that our credit cards and the Bank of Mom and Pop were our emergency fund. Playing catch up and grown up is tough. We were very lucky in that our luck held for the first year of our rehabilitation and we actually had some emergency cash when the first emergency hit. Keeping my fingers and all other body parts crossed that this was your last emergency for a long time.
February 27, 2009 at 3:41 pm
P.S. About that stealing candy from a baby thing. What can I say? When I am stressed about money I eat and lose all sense of decency. And who knows? Maybe I did a good thing – saved that poor child from dental decay and a terrible sugar addiction that she would be fighting to control for the rest of her life through diet and exercise. Better I should suffer than some poor innocent child.
February 27, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Thanks Maureen, I know that I couldn’t possibly be the only one that S*@t happens to, and I will keep tabs on ammunition for when Hadley Taylor Paige is of the right age to cause her papa major stress. I do take pride in that I was able to help my son, even at my own expense, because if we can’t depend on our parents in a crisis, who can we depend on?? I am taking drastic steps to reduce my expenses – just wrote my landlord a letter outlining the unfinished “promised” repairs from my move in date of six months ago, and asking for a rental reduction (he raised the rent $200 in the past two years, with no improvements to the place). I also suggested a rent reduction in exchange for me cleaning the common areas of this building. If I have to bite the bullet and move, again, I just might do it! This ‘grown up” stuff is hard, but maybe taking the bull by the horns, and posing a challenge to ‘authority’ is the way to go. It can’t hurt to ask, right?
February 27, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Ahhh, was also going to ask about that issue… Good thing you saved her teeth and figure…
February 27, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Kate – that’s understandable. It sounds like you’re doing a great job though, so just try to stay focused on what it will feel like when the debt is gone and you can start accumulating wealth!
February 27, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Maureen, you’re hilarious. I laughed so hard while reading your post, especially about the toms/male cats issue. hahaha! omg i have tears in my eyes i’m laughing so hard…
February 27, 2009 at 5:21 pm
In fact there are so many clever/interesting/funny/kind people on this blog that I wish someday there would be a big Gail convention so we could all get together and meet each other in person!
February 27, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I don’t have anything to add to the topic at hand but I wanted to mention that I saw my favourite financial guru on a Campbell’s commerical last night. Way to go, Gail!
February 27, 2009 at 6:04 pm
I saw her on it too!
Although I immediately commented that the Campbells soups are $1 more than the no-name brand, and that I’d only buy them on sale.
February 27, 2009 at 6:12 pm
SQ: someone else has said they want to do a big get together. Let’s see if someone is willing to arrange a great big pot-luck in a park and we can issue on web invitation of all to join in meeting and laughing together. If there are any volunteers who want to find and get approval for a park in a reasonably central location (I’m only willing to drive so far) for a Sat or Sun in late July, I’m in! I’ll bring something yummy!
February 27, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Hi Kate and Lexi
If you are loopy-ish in one direction then I am loopy-ish in the other. We absolutely LOVED the actual paying of the debts. In fact we used to flip a coin to see who got to do it.
To be able to go into the bank every month and slap that cheque on to the counter gave me an incredible feeling of accomplishment and power. In my head I was jumping up and down and yelling – “Take that you swines!” – but since they have cameras and panic buttons that connect directly to the RCMP I had to swallow my glee, behave with haughty dignity and be satisfied with a sneer on my lips.
Once you stop spending a “balance owing” figure holds no fear because every month it gets smaller and smaller. And with each payment I received immense satisfaction knowing that I was cheating THEM out of more interest.
And as Gail said – “when you owe nothing you can tell anyone to go to hell”. Today we regularly get pre-approved credit card applications and I love telling those loan sharks to go to hell by shredding them. We will never again get trapped. I used to set them on fire in the kitchen sink – much more dramatic and satisfying than a mechanical whiiiirrrrr – but FYI – if you stomp on a burning piece of paper that floated out of the sink whilst wearing rubber soled slippers the flames will not only melt your sole (and the linoleum) but you will not be able to cover up the scorch marks by placing a potted plant in the middle of the kitchen. Even the most unobservant husband will notice. Eventually.
It is hard to see so much money going out every month to debt but I think it helps to just keep looking to the future. The past is gone even if it is still being paid for.
We had 3 kinds of debt – fun debts, painful debts and justifiable debts. The student loans were the justifiable debts. We never regretted acquiring them or minded paying them for a second because they bought us our future. Would have preferred to have a rich, handsome Sugar Daddy Professor to pay them for me and fix my grades but things don’t always turn out the way you daydream. We have friends who still resent their student loans and have dragged their feet paying them for 15 years! And yet thought nothing of charging up a $36,000 car, a $40,000 wedding and a $24,000 divorce. Today the car is flattened in a junk yard somewhere and the divorce squashed the wedding but they both still have their degrees – and the student loan debts.
I didn’t even mind paying the fun debts – after all we had fun charging them up while living way beyond our means. Wouldn’t do it again but can honestly say that I can accept having to pay for the good time. Again, would prefer to have a rich handsome Sugar Daddy pay them for me but what would I do with the Hubster? Hide him in the closet? Pretend he was the pool boy? Actually, not a bad idea since he is a water quality specialist.
Paying for the painful debt was painful. The worst. We didn’t deserve it (who does?) and got nothing from it. The saddest was the debt accumulated due to illness but the best of the worst was the debt incurred for the humongous repairs to our car when it was stolen and used in a bank robbery and subsequent car chase. Not only were we the innocent victims of crime but of our own stupidity. Wouldn’t and couldn’t pay for a protected parking space because shoes were always going on sale. By stealing our car The Bank Robbers proved themselves to also be just too stupid to live. Waiting outside the bank for it to open in the middle of July while wearing balaclavas and sitting in a car that belched smoke from the muffler and under the hood made them a little bit conspicuous. Serves them right. And they didn’t even have the decency to target the bank that held our mortgage. And they stole the Hubster’s favourite sunglasses.
February 27, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Dang..I don’t live in the same province as Gail!! I’d love to go to the potluck get together! : )
February 27, 2009 at 10:36 pm
“Actually, we have had more emergencies since we have been behaving ourselves than before when we were acting like jackasses.”
I think that this statement has a lot of ‘discoveries’ hidden. Like you said, there was always somewhere to go to if needed (regardless of the interest rate). I think it shows more! It shows an understanding of financial responsibility AND an understanding of a need! Emergencies can be given a priority assignment or can be put aside as a want. I learned to expect emergencies just because they seem to keep on happening. I assign money to them even with an emergency fund. That fund has a high turn around ratio!
Biggest stress: Will the long-term carrer path justify all the years and pain of schooling (and the student loan that came with that)?
February 28, 2009 at 1:20 am
Gail, I am so excited to hear this! I am going to take responsibility for organizing this. I’m assuming that Toronto is the most central location for people in the area. I will look into the details and get back to you and everyone else as soon as possible. You are so good to your fans, Gail.
February 28, 2009 at 11:24 am
Hello All~
)
Interesting reading. Lots of insight and laughter provided on this site
Gail has turned us around here. Have used the jars since the first of November, and, (don’t frown Gail…) the last month I haven’t written down in my book what was spent where, subtracting what is left available (still have all the receipts though). Every week the money goes in the jars, but, we have yet to have to withdraw more from the bank. In fact, I am slowly lowering the amounts put into the jars. It’s become a way of life – using only cash, deciding whether it is a want or a need, being savvy in money management, bills paid in full each month.
We’re doing well on our TFSA’s – $400.00 each per month since opening them Jan. 2nd. If I can continue this, we should near the $5000. mark by December 31st. Doing this instead of RRSP’s this year.
We’re also paying down our LOC aggressively. That is one of my stresses – I hate having it over my head.
Since reading about the potluck in July I’m stressed because I’d really love to attend and meet you. Hopefully my health will have improved leaps and bounds by then. I have interstitial cystitis and can’t travel more than about 1/2 an hour and am always looking for a washroom – sometimes every 5 minutes! So, that is my biggest stress in my life – always being a spectator listening to the fun everyone else is having.
So, make sure there are lots of washrooms available in the park you pick SQ, just in case a miracle occurs!
February 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm
My stressors have changed over the years – but the main one right now is getting rid of the Line of Credit – $5,000, but it bugs me! It will be gone very soon thankfully. I have learned over that years that people who stress me, are not worth the stress, and they have gone by the wayside. I have “trained” my husband to realize that being in debt is not the way to live, and he is doing great – and re-thinks those things that he “thinks we have to have”. Now, we discuss why we need things, or want them, and come to agreements about them. Feels great.
SQ – good luck on getting that get-together planned. If you need any help, let me know – I’m a couple hours north of Toronto, but would love to help out in any way.
February 28, 2009 at 12:17 pm
This sounds fantastic….for us all to meet. How great would that be?
Im sooo excited 
. Im in Kitchener, and have met a couple other Gail fans on this site (who live in/near Kitchener)…hmmm…maybe we could all come to T.O together….just a thought! 
March 1, 2009 at 11:52 am
Maureen: Potted plant in the middle of the kitchen – You are too funny!
I wish I was a lot closer to Ontario. Nova Scotia is just a little too far away for a potluck I’m afraid. I am going to Toronto in September to run in the Waterfront Marathon. Can we do a 2nd one then?? : )
Saver Queen: I’m a fan of yours too! You are so sweet!
March 2, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Well it’s late and this thread is mostly dead by now, but for myself I hereby record to digital record my top stressors (I have 4, so that’s a blessing)
1. 60K LOC. There I said it. It’s real. I can’t really pretend it’s ‘just part of the mortgage’ anymore.
2. Sticking to healthy eating and exercise.
3. Irrational fear of not performing well at work and being responsible for the failure of my business in these tough times.
4. The introduction of sibling rivalry. The ankle-biters are driving me crazy! When did they discover this horrible new pattern?
March 9, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Sorry for the long delay in my response to this as I was away on vacation. Hopefully people are still checking this thread.
Fiona – travelling together sounds great. Actually I didn’t know that there were others in the Kitchener area – maybe we should all get together sometime.
Melaniesd – thanks!
Are you running the marathon in september? i did the 5k at the Waterfront and it was fun – might even do it again in the fall!