Ignore the Saving Mockers
Posted by Gail | Filed under Saving
Y’know all those people who make fun of you because you “can afford it” but choose not to blow your money? They’re just jealous!
Did you hear the story of a couple that is raising four children on one teacher’s pay of $40,000 a year. Dad says they live comfortably and are very happy. They decided when they married that mommy wanted to stay home with the kids, so they set about executing a plan that would have them mortgage free with a big fat emergency fund by the time they had their first child. They did it by living off one income – her lower one – and using all of his income for mortgage pay-down and savings.
While you might thinking living on one income would be the hardest part of their plan, you’d be wrong.
The toughest part: dealing with the mocking he got from people who were spending money. “Pride is sometimes a hard thing to swallow,” he’s quoted as saying. But the couple persisted, doing what was right for them and living below their means.
I’ve had this experience myself. I’ll be in a store browsing around with friends and they’ll say, “Buy it, you can afford it.” I think to myself, “No I can’t.” They assume because I make a good living I can buy myself whatever I pick up and look at. Perhaps I could. But then I wouldn’t have a big fat FU Account that lets me sleep so peacefully at night.
It’s not just if I can afford it, you see. It’s also if I can “thoil” it. Thoil is a Yorkshire word that I discovered a while back that fills a hole in our language of Needs and Wants. It means “to be able to afford something, but to be unable to justify the expense.”
While I may have taken care of all my needs, and have the money sitting in the bank to buy whatever has caught my fancy, if you can’t justify the expense, I say, “I just can’t thoil it.” Sure, I can afford it, but I just can’t justify spending the money. And yes, I might love to have it, but what I would have to give up isn’t worth it.
Having money tomorrow means making choices today. Sometimes other people won’t understand those choices. Sometimes they’ll roll their eyes at your, “Sorry, don’t have the money for that this week.”
I’m not sure why our peer-pressure is geared to doing us more harm than good. I do know that if you’re determined to have what you really, really want, you’ll have to turn a deaf ear to the taunts and temptations.
October 22, 2012 at 5:45 am
I LOVE this posting Gail! I get the eye rolling thing quite frequently and I know people talk about me about being ‘cheap’…..but I ask myself…. “will they be rolling their eyes at me when I am able to retire early and live in my mortgage free house and/or cottage?” No, they will too busy working, still trying to pay their bills to have time to roll their eyes then. But, I will be nice and invite them over for a hot cup of coffee on my front porch swing then!
October 22, 2012 at 6:33 am
I’m well on my way to debt free, have no problem telling people I’m getting out of debt and paying off my mortgage in another 5.5 years, and that I’m willing to wait for something I want. I do have a few expensive hobbies but I budget for those too. When I get those debts and mortgage paid, then I’ll make the decision whether to keep working or start working at something I really want to do.
Till then, I always think twice, live within my means and by no means consider myself cheap…. just (finally) smart and frugal
October 22, 2012 at 6:50 am
Gail – THANK YOU for the new word “thoil” – I love it!!!!
Great post today! I am guilty of giving into today but am working hard on it! That’s part of what keeps us in our home – looking at the fact that our mortgage would be paid off in 10 years or less!
And wow! Kudos to that family! That is awesome!!! If that is his gross salary, people need to realize that he is bringing home significantly less if he’s a teacher! Minus 12% for pension plan alone – taxes – benefits – union dues (and probably something else I am forgetting!) – people don’t realize that it’s a significant chunk of change less than the gross salary on paper.
Very inspiring!
October 22, 2012 at 6:54 am
depends on who your friends/social circle are…
October 22, 2012 at 7:26 am
Since your original posting of ‘thoil’ it has become a very popular word in my families’ vocabulary. My wife’s favourite saying is I’d rather have $1000 in my purse than a $1000 purse.
October 22, 2012 at 8:23 am
@Murray, I’m going to use that quote too.
I always wondered what thoil meant, I just assumed it was a Gail made up word.
My mom gave me the worst peer pressure line “You’ve got more money than brains” because (at the time, things are different now that Hubby has a different job) I had a cleaning lady. I also didn’t have a television. I had money for one or the other and I prefered the clean bathroom that I didn’t scrub.
October 22, 2012 at 8:33 am
Love today’s post! I know exactly how this feels since this is what we do. Since my husband and I have been together we’ve lived off my pay checks and used his to make additional mortgage payments (reg mortgage payments are accounted for as part of our budget on my salary). We are on pace to be mortgage free in the next 3 years. I’ll be 33 when that happens and can’t even explain how exciting a propspect that is! Since this “strategy” is not the norm we get comments a lot about it. Some think its great although they say “they could never do that!”, others just don’t get it all. Even with those who know me well and know how good I am with money, sometimes exclude me (although I don’t think it’s deliberate) – I just can’t exactly share their laments on having wracked up the credit cards or LOC, etc. Sometimes it’s frustrating, and I sure don’t have much to contribute to conversations about a weekend full of shopping, but I know this is the right plan for us. Moreover, I know that once the mortgage is paid off we can relax the reins a bit, have a bit more fun money, plus the cash to pad the retirement account. Sure sounds like a great plan to me!
October 22, 2012 at 8:33 am
A great word which I shall most definitely use.
October 22, 2012 at 8:58 am
I hang out with educators and we’re a cheap bunch so no eye-rolls there. I’ve seen the family that Gail speaks about and the man’s wife is a whiz with money. I say good for them! They seem content and modest and their children, happy.
But I get eye-rolls from a sibling who’s always been spendy. And she’s frequently used that as a wedge against me to prove her superiority. Sad, because it’s tempered our relationship in the past. Her spendthrift ways have caught up to her now and she’s forced to budget. I’m trying to take the high-road and encourage her to live within her means by sharing things that worked for me. But honestly, part of me wants to shout HA! Gotta work on letting go.
October 22, 2012 at 9:01 am
Um, this guy’s a teacher who’s been working since before his first child was born and he now has 4 kids and only makes $40,000/year? He can’t be in the public school system!
October 22, 2012 at 9:08 am
We always lived off of one pay cheque, although we weren’t always great savers. I wanted to be home with our children. It is a good idea, because what if one person lost their job or became sick etc. We are in 58 and 60 now, but I believe wages and costs are still relative.
October 22, 2012 at 9:08 am
@Tracy,
The guy works in the US. Teachers are paid quite poorly there.
October 22, 2012 at 9:15 am
What is an FU account Gail. New here. Learning the lingo
October 22, 2012 at 10:23 am
I have often used the word “thoil” since Gail first introduced it-it’s so perfect! There are lots of things I “could” buy, but can’t justify… I’d rather have some money set aside and not be worried about every bill coming in (oh I remember the stress of those bygone days too well!) I guess I’m lucky that my family and most of my friends are similarly frugal, as I haven’t been (openly) mocked for my frugality (perhaps behind my back, but I doubt it).
@Murray-I’m going to borrow that phrase too!
October 22, 2012 at 11:02 am
Sally – the FU account (F _ _ _ You) account, is the one you build up so that if your job becomes unbearable you have the funds to walk away, (and tell them to FU as you go out the door!). Being financially tied to a job that is unhealthy, or unsafe because you can’t afford to leave is never a great situation.
On the thoil subject, I can’t agree more. After spending our 20s and 30s living within our means (which is better than lots of folks do), we wised up and in our 40s started living massively below our means. We make good enough salaries that we can comfortably live on one and the other now goes to whacking down the mortgage and building up our retirement accounts. I know it does no good to gripe about the past and you can’t change it, but boy I wish we’d wised up a decade or two sooner. I could have been retired in my 40s, but 57/60 is the current target. The mortgage will be paid off in another 3-ish years and then we think it will take another 5yrs to bank enough retirement savings, finish helping kids with school/weddings etc. and then we can safely retire with no large expenses looming.
My friends have accepted our weird spending habbits and never comment. We make more than many of our family and friends but have never bought a new car and likely never will. Certainly we could, but it’s not nearly as important as retiring early and travelling extensively. There are no right or wrong ways to spend your money, but when ever I see a young person driving around in a noticeably expensive car I silently wonder, or even worry that they haven’t truly calculated what that’s costing them in lost future opportunities.
October 22, 2012 at 11:05 am
I like this post too – I think if everyone lived like this there wouldn’t be the competition in spending to keep up with others and people might, perhaps, live simpler calmer lives. For myself, I know I had to end one friendship partly because of that friend’s approach to spending – and I did not realise how much the whole thing was affecting me until I stopped seeing her … I realised I was getting really stressed out having to constantly say I couldn’t afford things she wanted to do with me. I was also spending far more when I was with her – and even though they were small things, like Starbucks, I am on such a limited budget it was really impacting my budget. I still miss elements of our friendship but not having to deal with our different approaches to spending is such a relief to leave behind – it was creating much more stress for me than I realised.
October 22, 2012 at 11:17 am
What irks me is when others, especially financial professionals and those who give advice, advocate that cash in an emergency fund is foolish and we should rely on a line of credit instead (eg, a recent post by Garth Turner).
We have savings that is part of planned spending; savings for retirement; and savings for emergency funds. It’s not where we want it to be and we rely on different financial advice fora (including our own financial adviser) to keep us informed and motivated. So poor advice makes me angry!
I’m impressed by the posters here who manage to live below their means. That is our next goal. We have two great, secure incomes and we can be way more frugal in the future.
I look forward to more posts like this one.
October 22, 2012 at 11:39 am
There is a financial guru out of the US who I usually find a little less relatable than Gail but I did see her on a program once and she said something that struck a chord with me. “The courage to be rich”. At the time, I kind of did an eyeroll but after some thought I took it to mean, being willing to stand up to the pressure and say “No” if you need to. I.e. no thanks, I am not buying a playdoh like tub of cookie dough from you to send you kid to soccer camp. No, I am not spending more money on things I don’t need to get a discount, etc.
I think we have as a society become delusional about needs vs wants.
October 22, 2012 at 11:51 am
Thanks for the new word!! It’s nice to learn something today as it is my 40th birthday. Last week, I looked into booking myself into a birthday treat at the spa. Though I would have really LOVED 3 hours for a massage, mani, pedi, I couldn’t THOIL the 350$$ I booked a regular RMT massage. I will be able to submit that receipt to my benefits company, and later tonight, my daughter and I will give each other manicures and pedicures. The other recent post I loved had the statement…”Do you want to look rich or be rich?”….and I recently saw another statement that said “A man that buys what he doesn’t need, steals from himself.”
I totally agree with JMK…”not as important as retiring early and traveling extensively” That extra $20 000 – 50 000 people spend on ONE luxury vehicle instead of a basic model vehicle is so not worth it for me. I’d rather keep that money in my saving account…it would fund alot of nice trips!!!
October 22, 2012 at 11:54 am
This has actually become a big issue within our family in regards to the reactions when we choose to save rather than spend!
Thanks for the reminder that we’re doing whats right for us, and just because others don’t understand it fully, doesn’t mean were wrong!
October 22, 2012 at 12:22 pm
I remember reading about that family. We currently live on one income, but i must admit it is larger than what most people our age are making. We have 2 children at home with me and the ace in our pocket is me going back to work. we already have a healthy pension deduction and save agressivly (20% of take home to various things). so are used to living on less, but when the kids are in school and i go start working (even PT) all my money will be going to paying down the mortgage, if i even go back. thinking of doing an afterschool care thing. With hubby away for long periods of time, its nice not to be tied down and there when the kids need me. any raises from his job are also saved.
i get teased that i never have a real vacation and that we drive a 6 year old and 15 year old car,. don t have cable and cant go home very often. but we are secure that our retierment is ready when we are, is amazing. not many people in thier mid 20s, with 2 kids and only one income have a networth that we do (or even positive networth). We are proud of ourselves and gail has helped us so much on getting us to really look at what we are spending and how we can live on alot less!
October 22, 2012 at 12:59 pm
This is a very good post for me today.
I am debating buying a very very good waterproof winter/ski jacket.
I have the money in the bank.
I have a jacket several years old that is no longer waterproof. Good for snow not rain. Bought it for snow and now live in an area with much more rain.
Instead of buying the $500 plus jacket that I love, I am going to buy the $20 dollar bottle of waterproofer and hopefully that will get me through the season.
I may be able to justify the purchase next year or find one on sale.
sigh, I really wanted that jacket.
October 22, 2012 at 1:31 pm
“Misery loves company” could be translated as “broke people want others to be broke too”
It takes guts to strike out and go against the flow!
Thanks Gail for the encouraging words!!!
October 22, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I was once ridiculed by my cousin for not replacing my aging car with a new model, because I chose to max out my RRSP contributions & TFSA account instead.
He works in construction & makes more money in 5 months than I make in a year. His savings? None. His retirement plan? To die young. Seriously.
Needless to say, I don’t take advice from him.
October 22, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Great post. I printed to save it when persons make fun of me for making my own Chinese food and pizza; not eating at a restaurant, paying 10 times the cost (even with a coupon; yes you heard me the big coupon user saying this). Also those that laugh at me for using Walmart purses and buying clothes there and at consignment shops. I retired early for health however I didn’t do it stupid; I’m smarter than the average bear. Hubby and I applied for an affordable cause we found out we qualify; so hopefully the 55% I save on rent when the apt goes through is going into the savings and we now have a broot of grands to spoil; yes we’ll go easy there cause we have to. I like the fact Gail told her friends just cause she makes a great living everything she wants isn’t a need. Financial lessons are like the credit card expression “PRICELESS.”
October 22, 2012 at 2:57 pm
Thank you for this post today, Gail. Just this weekend I was confronted by my cousin. My husband and I no kids yet and live in a one-bedroom condo and drive a 10-year old car. I was questioned on why we are “hoarding” all of our money and don’t have nicer stuff. It’s not like we don’t spend our money (DH buys high-end camera gear and I am a sucker for designer handbags, and we take 2-3 vacations a year). We spend less than half of our income every month and I am just waiting for the day we become mortgage-free, retire early, etc just to show him WHY, when he is still left paying off his debts and working longer than us.
October 22, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Wow, I’m actually going for a 4 day walk in teh Yorkshire Dales next month. It’s going to be wet and muddy, but the pubs will be all warm with fireplaces. Good to know a local term.
My friend seemed a little put out that I wasn’t happy lending him $140 for concert tickets this past summer. He’s always good for returning the money, but seemed shocked when I said it “wouldn’t work with my budget and I’d have to sacrifice to lend it to him”. Eventually I did, but this is a guy that never budgets, never has any cash, knows that I do and seems surprised when I say I “can’t afford something”. …Yeah, dude–that’s why I have savings, ’cause I have budget that puts them there.
October 22, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Thanks for the word Thoil! I love it. I feel this way from time to time. Sometimes you just pick up a nice thing to look at it…not meaning to purchase it at all.
October 22, 2012 at 4:07 pm
I can relate to ditching a friend because of money differences..she’s not in the poor house but she has not worked a minute to get what she has, everything has been handed to her by mommy and daddy (she’s married with two children). The last straw was about a year ago when she made me feel like a… well I can’t even describe what I felt like. When discussing x-mas gifts she asked what we had gotten our son, I told her not much (he was one, he had no clue!?!?) We had bought him a toy box and some bath and learning toys but that was about it. She replied with “Same here we just got the oldest a playstation Move and the youngest a ride along Escalade” I knew she had been looking for work so I asked her if she planned on finding something after x-mas and her response was “Only people who have to work that have children actualy do so no, I won’t be looking for work” This was all said to me, a full time working mom..that was it. I sometimes think I need to keep up with the “Jones’” then I sit back while I am having dinner with my husband and son and remember that thanks to “mrs.Jones” and her new boat and car and house Mr.Jones has not eaten dinner at home for two weeks. If only she were to ever ask me to compare bank accounts that would be a conversation I would entertain… I know I would come out on top with that one.
October 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Very timely post today. I’m in the process of figuring out what I’d like the next 5 years of my life to look like. I’m 51 and would like to retire by 55. Nine years ago I had a negative net worth of $16K. Today, I’m on track for an early retirement.
Thoil – what a wonderful word. It’s been my mantra since Gail introduced it to us a few years ago. Do I really need that? Will I even still want it a week from now? Is this purchase taking me closer or farther away from an early retirement?
I find it interesting to see which people in my life are the ones nagging me to spend and which friends say nothing. By only buying what I need with a few planned luxuries and trips I’m making my dream a reality. I now have 5 properties with 5 mortgages (shrinking beautifully every day), an RRSP and TFSA account (I don’t put all my eggs in 1 basket).
I have two close friends. One friend has 3 mortgages on 1 property. Credit card balances have been racked up to the limit. Yet she still takes shopping vacations. Another friend (55 yrs. old) has a mortgage free home in Vancouver. She and her husband purchased a weekend home. They didn’t go looking for it until they could afford to pay for it in full on the day of closing. Saving for retirement is not an issue because they retired a few years ago.
It’s easy to see which friend is the one who’s always trying to get me to spend my money so that she feels better about her own spending. It’s also not hard to guess who my sounding board is when I’m about to make a big financial decision.
It’s hard to stay on our own path but the trip is well worth it!
October 22, 2012 at 4:35 pm
I get judged by my family members all the time, especially my parents. We are often compared to my siblings who have renovated their homes, purchased land and many toys such as boats, 3 wheelers for themselves and family members however all 3 of my brothers are in debt over their heads. My ex sil left my older brother once she found out all the calls they were getting from the creditors, my 2nd brother was divorced due to financial woes and my younger brother is ok due to his wife being a saver like myself and dh.
They think we have a ton of money since we do not have the toys. I tell them that once we retire, we will have a confortable retirement and whenever an unexpected emergency occurs, we are able to handle it without getting a new credit card or refinancing our home..
I will admit it bothers me sometimes and I really would like to tell my parents to talk to my siblings and ask how they are doing financially just to get them off my back.
October 22, 2012 at 5:49 pm
Thank you so much for this post. My husband tells me that the struggles are more inside myself than the reality of the world around me. I have been trapped by thinking “… but I owe it to the restaurants to go have dinner out every weekend… or else they’d be mad at me because we can totally afford it but I must be being mean by choosing not to spend my money there and putting it towards a mortgage prepayment instead.”
We have put 55% of our disposable “extra income” this year so far into mortgage prepayments and have still managed to have some nice vacations and do home improvement projects. I struggle with thinking “do I really need to go on vacation or fix my house” when I could put all the remaining 45% of our disposable extra income onto the mortgage prepayments. My husband says we need a balanced life and yes it is ok to also go on trips, fix the house, and not be a slave only to the mortgage. Better to have a balanced spending and saving life for the sake of family harmony.
Thanks for the “thoil” defination. Spending hard earned month on things I see
“actual value” in is important to me so I do find it hard to spend money on passing fancies like a Coach purse. For example, why would someone pay $1.9 Million for a 1600 square foot condo on a high floor in Vancouver just to see a view of Stanley Park… when you can get am amazing $1 million newer house with lots of land further out in the Lower Mainland. These are crazy $ examples of the high cost of living we see in the Vancouver area these days.
October 22, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Good subject, my husband and I feel the pressure from our friends to go out and it isn’t easy saying no all the time. We gave in and went out this weekend we spent $60. We are not doing that again, lesson learned. Most of our friends choose to eat at expensive restaurants, have fancy clothes and cars but are just making it. We have more than 10 year old cars and a plan to be debt free. We are not perfect and continue to learn from Gail and yes Gail, I would rather be rich than look rich.
October 22, 2012 at 8:00 pm
I must be lucky, whenever I read this posts I think to myself that I have not knowingly had anyone pressure me to spend money. Maybe that is because I have always been a saver and everyone in my life must know that!
The woman who sits next to me at work is a spender and she spends $200, $300 $400 on shoes, she had a birthday party for her six year old on the weekend and it cost $1000- and she bought the six year old an iPad! Yes, a six year old with an iPad. Apparently she got it because all of her friends have one.
The mind boggles. She spends over $1000- a month on clothes. I worked it out that I spend about $300 a year on clothes…we laugh about it. I wear my $8- shoes into work and she puts on her $300 shoes…she’s not laughing at me, although I’m laughing at her!!!!!
I have many examples of her spending. I just sit and listen and smile. That is not how I choose to spend my money.
Oh, in case you were wondering, she is not in debt, they earn good money. But her thoils are definitely different to mine!
Sarah
October 22, 2012 at 11:28 pm
Gail, one of your best blogs to date. Before i buy anything i always ask myself, “do i really need it?” or “will it make me more happy?”. Almost every time my answer is no. No i don’t need an Ipad, no i don’t need a new cell phone every year. That is why at only 28 my wife and i are worth about 300k will be mortgage free by the time we are 35.
October 23, 2012 at 1:51 pm
I got chastised by my mother last weekend for saying more than once that I couldn’t afford something… she said I was not going to attract positive energy from the universe by approaching life from a sense of lack/poverty. (insert eye roll) To me saying I can’t afford something is not a negative statement, but I guess I could be more accurate and say I can’t justify a purchase. I do have the money but it is earmarked for other things, like early retirement!
October 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm
@Tara – I totally hear what you’re saying – and meaning. Next time, tell your mother that “you choose not to spend your money on most of those short-term desires” It’s a fine line with symantics, but I hear what she’s trying to teach you too. Good luck
October 23, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Gail!
I love this post! This is exactly how I feel when people say things like ’sure you could afford it, it’s only $xx.xx! It doesn’t matter how much it costs, it is the principle of why we’re saving. We are newlyweds, and just purchased our first home. So now we’re budgeting, and budgeting means not making excuses for frivolous spendings. I’ve recently starting blogging myself about our new budgeting and saving endeavours. My Wife Savings is about all those little things that we can be doing to save our hard earned money for bigger things than a cute pair of shoes right now. We’ve started to doing budget jars, and we love them! We look forward to canning up our savings and resisting what we cannot toil! Cheers!
October 23, 2012 at 11:36 pm
I love this post and that is going to be my new favorite word and will make me think twice about whether the item is a want or a need and whether I can justify it. I have been working on a generalized budget for current incomes and expenses as well as projective analysis of what our future budgets will look like and what we will need to do to be debt free in less than 3 years.
I know that I don’t have all the formulas down pat, however, on my excel spread sheet I entered in 3 years worth of our budget and am proud to say that if we stick to it like a “T” then we will be consumer debt and student loan debt free in 2.5 years, plus have $65,384.24 in the bank (I know that we want to finish the basement in the next year or so and intend to sit down int he next week to two weeks to figure out a budget for all renovations to be done in the next 3 years or othe major expected expenses in order to accurately account for every penny and assign it a purpose).
Until then I have done a projectory analysis of what our future savings would look like based on 2% interest and we are looking at having $538,300.56 saved by December 31, 2015 (I will be 45 at this point). If we made no further contributions then our nest egg would sit at $802,782.73 when we hit 65. My husband is not due to retire until 58 years old and will get a pension of roughly 55,000 according to the current pension outlook, however, that could always change I am sure.
What I am having difficulty with is coming up with an accurate average investment rate for retirement savings. I have read alot of website pages and they say between 2 and 20% is average. Really? That’s quite a bit of a gap! So I used the lowest possible figure so that I know it would be more than what I figured out. However, I also don’t want to penny pinch for the rest of our lives either. I would like to enjoy family or couple time here or there (the last vacation involving a flight we took our children on was in 2009 and between that year and 2011 we only camped locally. This year we took our vacation as camping in the northern states between 5.5 and 13 hours from us; we drove of course). We are not extravagant shoppers, but would like to take a family vacation once every two to three years before the kids are all grown up with families of their own (our oldest is 12 and youngest 7). However, I feel like I want to clench onto the dollars and not spend such a large amount on a single vacation worried that it will drastically effect our retirement savings. Knowing the national average for interest rates for savings would be a huge help.
Thanks.
October 23, 2012 at 11:37 pm
sorry that was December 2025 (not 2015).
October 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm
If you start buying everything in sight, Gail, we’re all in trouble! Thanks so much for this post. It’s so relevant, and often an overlooked issue. So many times I get called “cheap” when really, I’m just living with what I know I can actually afford. Thanks again!
October 24, 2012 at 5:06 pm
@Angel – I don’t understand your question. Are you asking what average interest rates on savings accounts are right now (2%) or are you asking what average savings rates are?
Also, you may want to rejig your investment account numbers. I doubt you will keep $500,000 in a savings account earning 2%. If you will be investing in equities and bonds, you can be conservative and use 5% for your projection.
October 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm
I first heard the term “FU” fund a few years ago in interviews with Tyra Banks when she had her own show who said when she was younger and starting to make money modelling her mother told her make her own money and to never have to rely on a man to provide for her. Tyra’s mom told her toalways have an FU fund so that she if needed or wanted to, she could walk away from a relationship…hence the FU. Using a crude phrase allowed Tyra’s mom to teach her daughter respect for herself, her money and her independence. I loved this interview when I heard it!
October 26, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Great post
People always assume we are “poor” because we don’t spend. We are not super-well off either, but we live without consumer debt and carry a small (by today’s standards) mortgage. We don’t have a car loan, and as long as our car is safe and looks whole I don’t care to replace it. We don’t go away for our vacations because we like home so much.
I don’t buy stuff often because I simply hate the mall (sorry mall, it’s true). One simple cell phone that the whole family shares in case of emergency ($15/month), no cable because 100% of our TV viewing happens via the internet (our one expensive indulgence). We eat at home because I love to cook and my family likes my food (hooray).
Because our preferences are frugal ones, my husband is the primary breadwinner, and I work part time from home. It’s not for everyone but it works very well for us, and we can still sock a bit of $ away for the future.
Thank You Gail for reminding us that “thoil” is not a bad word!
October 26, 2012 at 4:18 pm
I should add that we aren’t cheap were it counts! We saved up enough for a major renovation this year. We dropped over 10G on a kitchen (did a lot of work ourselves) and it was well worth the time, pain and expense for us because we cook/eat/socialize in the kitchen (aka the heart of the home).
October 27, 2012 at 11:51 am
[...] Ignore the Savings Mockers [...]
October 27, 2012 at 12:32 pm
Thank you for this post, Gail! I wish everyone knew about your blog. For myself, reading this post saved me $80 – $100 in buying new winter boots…didn’t actually need them, although I have the money for them..I just wanted to replace my 2-year old boots for new stylish ones. Although it wasn’t a huge $$ amount that was going to make or break my family, this post made me realize I can’t thoil that purchase! In fact, I’m going to have that phrase duct taped to my purse so whenever I reach into it to buy something, I will have to read it first..the gatekeeper to my wallet, so to speak!
Thank you, Gail, you really do change lives
October 29, 2012 at 8:28 am
I think you may have it backward: “thoil” means to be *able* to justify an expense. Your definition says it means to be *unable*.