Thinking Out Loud
Posted by Gail | Filed under Gail Club News, Thinking Out Loud
Spring is almost here. I can feel it in my bones. Whatever hit Winter blows my way, I know it’s a last blast and that the crocuses are around the corner. If I have crocuses. Having moved into my new home in the middle of winter, I’m not quite sure what’s in the garden. I know I lost a small tree to the wicked winter winds, and I still have to decide if I’ll save what’s left or fid something new (fruity?) for the spot. I don’t want apple or pear (not MY favorite fruits). And I think most others require that you plant two to pollinate, which I don’t have the space for. Anyone have any ideas for a satisfying, self-pollinating fruit tree?
I have a tiny vegi garden area, so I know I’ll be doing beans, tomatoes, basil (yum), chives, and whatever else strikes my fancy as I flip through the seed catalogues. And I know I have a clematis (one of my fav plants) at the front of the house. Which one will be the surprise.
My house plants made the move successfully to their new home. My banana is positively ecstatic about his new location. My rubber plant needs a blast of summer to get herself together. My new home has a three-season sunroom so s soon as it is warm enough, out she goes to revel in the rays.
I’m a little wistful at having left my forest behind. My previous home was on 25 acres, 23 of which were mixed wood. In the spring it brims with Trilliums, white and red. And ferns. And myriad other gems. Sometimes it’s sad the things you must say goodbye to as you move from one chapter of your life to another. But I don’t regret the change. (Regret is a waste of emotion as far as I’m concerned.) I excited to see what comes next. My good friend, Catherine, took me on a tour of Presquille Park when I was moving to Brighton. Her husband spends gobs of time walking the place, bird watching and communing. So I still have a place to go and walk and think. I’ll just have to make myself do it the first couple of times until it feels like it’s home.
I had an interesting experience in a bank this week. I was done my company business and on my way out when a young lass behind the counter stopped me and asked me if I could recommend someone to help her with her budget. Anyone else see the irony?
I’m not sure why we don’t demand more of our banks in terms of helping us manage our money. After all, they say they want to help, but only in ways that may be of benefit to them. The things we need aren’t so quickly forth-coming. And if the people who work there don’t know how to help themselves, what hope do we have of getting the help we need.
So we must take up the reins of money management ourselves an learn to make our money work for us. But there are many who still feel helpless and lost, which is why I initiated the idea of the Gail Clubs: people helping people within their communities. Wouldn’t it be great if you guys became such a voice that you could actually make your local institutions sit up and pay attention? Imagine bringing enough pressure to bear on a local FI to make them come up with a product that suited your needs.
Imagine, for a moment, a consolidation loan, offered at 2.5 points above prime for those who commit to living on a budget and becoming debt free within three years. Imagine the interest rate coming down 0.5 points each year that the consolidation loan remains in good standing. Imagine the loyalty you would feel towards a company that helped you dig out and get financially healthy. Hmmm.
Of course, not everyone would take control, despite the talk. Lots of people can’t walk the walk, like this woman:
I absolutely Love your show & watch it every chance I get. Every time I watch it, I convince myself to take the next step to become debt free and use the jars & the brilliant methods used to “Tackle our Debts”…but I have yet to do that. My husband and I bought our place just over a year ago, with a huge $300,000 Mortgage and 2 loans and 2 Credit Cards going on 3 to pay off…I feel the pressure & I feel like every time I take a step forward…it lands me 10 steps back…We have approximately $18,000.00 in CC Debt & Loans…together we make approximately $4,400/month…is there any method or easy way you think we should tackle this?? It feels like we are getting absolutely No Where with Paying off 4 Seperate Debts that we only end up paying the interest and then a small portion on each month. Please Help…I am beyond Lost…
See the problem? This poor woman is looking for “an easy way” and no such thing exists. Getting out of debt is hard fricken work. And if you can’t even make yourself get on board with “brilliant methods,” then what could I possibly say to help.
People will do what people will do. And while they’re ignorantly spending their way into Debt Hell, they won’t entertain a word of advice. Would anything I’d have said to this next woman have stopped her from putting her wedding on credit?
I don’t know where else to turn. I recently got married and now I feel like me and my husband have this huge burden of debt on our shoulders that we can’t seem to get out of. This debt doesn’t just come from the wedding it goes deeper then that and to top things off with this recession I got laid off and finding work right now is really hard. We don’t know where to start and we are struggling just to pay the bills and to buy groceries. The stress is really starting to affect us, we can’t sleep and at times we get really depressed and emotional. I really want to start a family and that doesn’t seem to be happening. Let’s face it how can it with this burden of dept on our shoulders. We are newlyweds and we shouldn’t be feeling this way but sometimes it’s really hard to be hopeful when you have creditors calling all of the time. Right now we are currently living with my parents, they have been great and thankfully don’t charge us any rent but we would like to own our own home someday and to be honest we are adults and I don’t want to depend on my parents for help. My question to you is where should we start? Is there really a light at the end of that long dark tunnel? Thanks in advance for your help and we love your show!
And so she finds her whole life a nightmare because spending money she didn’t have was perfectly fine. And now she’s desperate. Was this not a foreseeable end to the path she was on?
I get between 250 and 300 questions every week. I can’t possibly answer them all. These two questions are examples of the questions I don’t answer because I just don’t have an answer. Clearly, without direction, motivation, or commitment, nothing I say is going to make a difference, so I’d be wasting my breath. There’s one of me and tens of thousands of desperate souls, and if people aren’t willing to help themselves, or get help from friends and family, the chick above is right: there is no light at the end of that long dark tunnel.
Finding people who can help you may be as simple as asking a friend, a co-worker or a family member for some guidance. I’ve had a lot of response to the Gail Clubs, and there are now people meeting (or wanting to meet) in:
- Calgary
- Edmonton
- Fenlen Falls
- Hamilton
- London
- Moosejaw
- Oshawa/Ajax/Pickering
- Ottawa
- Saskatoon
- Toronto East
- Toronto West
- Wasaga
- Windsor/Essex
I’ve decided to set up a forum for the Gail Clubs so that you can connect with each other directly. Yup, I’m stepping out of the mix, mostly because I’m about to start shooting again, and my e-mail box is flooded when I get back to my desk. JD will get to work on it over the next couple of weeks, and I’ll post again as soon as the forum is ready. With a Gail Club Forum in place, you’ll be able to speak directly with each other, set up your meetings, post updates and ideas you want to share. (I recommend you set up a hot mail or gmail address for the purposes of this forum.) These forums will only be for Gail Clubs, and so if other postings appear, they will be deleted. I simply don’t have the time to moderate a forum for the general public. Sorry, I have vegis to grow, children to raise and books to read.
TTFN
BTW: I love what y’all are doing with the Money Saving Tips and Share Your Recipes. I got the message about the soup recipe, but have to wait until I make it again before I can post the recipe, since I’ll have to note what I’m doing as I do it. I’m contemplating a Persian Chicken for this weekend with pomegranates and walnuts. If I get to it and it works, I’ll put up the recipe.
February 14, 2009 at 8:59 am
Agree with Gail’s comment on the first letter that there is no ‘easy’ way out of managing your money and debt. I have been watching the show for quite some time, love the show and love the concept the jars, but do you think I had been able to implement a similar plan myself? No. Tried a number of times to set up the cash jars, with little success. Wasn’t until recently, learning that I could be losing my job this year, that put me in a place of desperation and needing to know where my money goes and how long can I make it last if I’m not being employed for a period of time. Spent some serious time figuring out my finances and finally used the budget planner on line. Developed my cash jars, and have just recently begun using them. Surprised at how much more relieved I am at having a plan and being able to follow it. I have only been doing the jars for 2 weeks, but but still have money left over at the end of the weeks. Yah!! It wasn’t easy doing the work that led up to the planning, as it means confronting truths that you may be denying along the way. So Gail, as usual, is correct. There is no easy way or shortcut to managing your debt & finances. Keep thinking of the Nike saying…JUST DO IT!
February 14, 2009 at 9:16 am
Your comment about the girl at the bank resonated with me. Yes there are a ton of websites about setting up a budget, and yes there are books up the wazoo as well. Some people just need that one on one help me through it for that first time as budgets can be a scary thing, especially for those who struggle with understanding the basic nuances of money and math. Yes there are debt counsellors to help folk through but that would cost $.
I have long thought it is a pity that classes on budgeting aren’t held in high school; that students aren’t taught to look at what they want to pursue in university and how much $ they can hope to make when they get out the other side.
You have to wonder if banks would get more customers switching to their institution if they held some free budgeting 101 courses.
Gail: What kind of shooting???? IPSC?
February 14, 2009 at 9:25 am
…Well, I started with envelopes (several), and then read another blog about not keeping your money in the bank where it can earn interest, so now I have savings accounts to put the stuff in and just envelopes for gas, groceries and husband’s ex. I haven’t seen any interest yet, but it is still very new. Oh, and hubby doesn’t have access to these accounts! Hopefully this will work even better, and the money won’t get lost or spent carelessly. I have also increased weekly payments to hubby’s collections student loan and should be paid in less than 2 yrs. These people who don’t take solid advice and don’t use the info on this website are being lazy, and I don’t think they actually want to change their spending habits, they just want the debt to “disappear” and we all know that doesn’t happen without extra – on-time payments or consolidation or whatever it takes! I thought I needed Gail to come and spell it out for me, but when I found the website and all the aids that are there, it was like winning the lottery! Those people who (obviously) found the site and don’t use the tools need to do some soul searching and like Cindy G said – just do it…and stick to it even if there may be some setbacks. Life’s not meant to be easy…
February 14, 2009 at 9:27 am
…to Jolie the idea of banks holding free budgeting seminars with new accounts or whatever would be an awesome idea – instead they offer credit cards to get you more in the hole!!!???
February 14, 2009 at 9:30 am
Glad to hear that you have enjoyed your move. If you haven’t been yet you definitely need to see the new marsh viewing platform that they have built at Presqu’ile. It gives a great view of the park.
As for a fruit tree – my parents had a cherry tree and a plum tree but they were further south. Here in Brighton I have apple and pear trees so I guess I am not much help!
February 14, 2009 at 10:45 am
I’d like more info on the Saskatoon group, Gail. Cheers!
February 14, 2009 at 10:48 am
Hey, there’s 2 Christy’s…hello, other Christy. Great name.
Your remark about the banks really gave me pause. What an amazing thing if banks sided with people instead of working to cripple them. I wonder where their bottom line become $ instead of helping people reach financial health?
February 14, 2009 at 11:11 am
Hi Gail,
You can purchase fruit trees that have two or more varieties of a fruit grafted onto the truck so that the tree can self-pollinate (or more accurately the different branches can cross-pollinate each other). Try a local nursey or major catalog company (that has plants suitable for your zone) and do make sure that the varieties that are grafted onto your tree have their blossoming season at the same time.
February 14, 2009 at 11:46 am
I’m from the US so I’ve never seen your show, but I’ve been reading your blog for awhile. I JUST got rid of my credit card debt (today!!) and it was HARD work. I took a full-time job even though I’m a full-time college student because I wanted to graduate without any credit card debt. I make little more than a fourth of what the person in your first letter makes and I had over $10,000 in depreciating assets.
You are right that there are no easy answers, but reading blogs like yours keeps my budgeting efforts in line. Thanks for the long-distance help!
February 14, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Holly: Technology can be great, and we live in some convenient times. Click here to view Gail’s shows (and they’re free!!!). If you like her blog “personality”, wait until you see her.
http://www.slice.ca/Slice/Watch/Default.aspx?ID=v (look for the full episodes tab, and scroll until you find “Until Debt Do Us Part”)
Great thinking out loud Gail. Enjoyable as always.
I’m surprised that Winnipeg folks haven’t set up a club…
February 14, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Fruit trees
I use to work in a garden center in northern ontario so I know a bit about trees. As far as i remember pear trees and apple trees except for the crab apples were the ones that needed a different variety of apple or pear to cross pollinate. I don’t remember if plum trees needed a second variety or not. Cherry bushes are also another option. I for one love choke cherries very tasty best when the berries are black in colour though.
If you do want a fruit tree that does require a second variety to pollinate, you may not need to buy a second tree. Just see what your neighbours have, as long as there is another tree within a bees flying distance then your good.
Other options for fruit would be various shrubs, but first off you want to make sure its good for your zone.
some of my favorites are sugar plums also known as service barries, various current bushes, gooseberries oh yes and grapes, they are more of a vine but, what my mom has is an arch and has planters beside the arch and the vines climb up and over, and whats great is they only need one variety. my mom still has two. One planted on each side.
My advice basically would be either to see what your neighbours have or check with a local garden center. MY experience with garden centers and what grows in various areas is limited to Two hours north of North Bay.
Southern ontario has a bit more options in regards to fruit trees thats for sure.
February 14, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Gail, I had emailed you a week or so ago about your thoughts on my dilemma about stepping outside our jars because I had a particularly challenging two weeks. You didn’t answer directly, instead the next blog you wrote was poignant – if your budget feels like cement shoes, do something about it. We’ve rejigged, and I feel less shackled. Thanks for being you.
And a reminder to everyone that spa days can be done at home. Turn off the TV for a day, put some nice music on, and have bubble baths, facials and give each other massasges. It’s a lot cheaper than going to a spa! Happy Valentine’s Day.
P.S. Anyone in Vancouver want to have a Gail Club? I’m in for that!
February 14, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Gail, it’s not that odd that the girl at the bank asked you that question. I had a hard time finding all the pieces in one place as your website does. I work in the investment industry and, of course, our tools for helping people are modeled around your savings and the old addage of pay yourself first and save 10%, etc. Bank sites offer tools for mortgages, loans, etc. and ours also deal with retirement. But truly I could not find the rest of the puzzle until I found this site. I must offer a great big kuddos to your site as I have looked at other sites from other TV shows that are similar to TDDUP (both from US and Canada) and they can’t hold a candle to yours.
February 14, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I remember when I was opening a savings account for our son Lucas. I started talking to the girl at the bank about TDDUP and mentioned the budget worksheet and other helpful areas and the girl seemed interested in checking the site out. She also said, this stuff is my job and its easier giving other people advice. I jotted down the website and gave it to her.
February 14, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Good luck with the garden! Our place was a “new build” so absolutely no surprises in the spring, a real disapointment actually. We even had to bring in SOIL to plant things (whoever coined the phrase “dirt cheap” never had to buy dirt to grow a lawn)!
My tiny garden supports a small fig tree, I LOVE fresh figs, and since they aren’t technically a fruit (no flower) I knew I could get away with just one. This harsh winter may have been too much for it, I will see in a couple months.
Thos questions you posted are so depressing. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure — those words are no more true than when you apply them to money! I was broke enough as a child to never want to be in over my head… there were times when it was very close and I was very broke, but aside from the mortgage, debt has never been an appealling option to me. I have said it many many times, but I am TOO CHEAP to spend my money on interest!
February 14, 2009 at 5:11 pm
I can feel spring, too, and I’m also thinking about my garden. We don’t have fruit trees but we have blueberry and raspberry bushes, and they’re great. They produce very faithfully and require very little maintenance, and the little ones love to pick berries.
And you’re absolutely right about taking responsibility for our own money. It took me a while to realize that someone who is trying to sell me something is not necessarily my friend. They may be helpful to me, but they’re mostly trying to help themselves. Which is fine, as long as you’re aware of that.
February 14, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Glad to hear you have predicted Spring Gail! I’ll be glad when the flooding is over (we live beside a river). Not sure what to suggest about a tree, but, I love Amber’s idea with the blueberry and raspberry bushes (I could see beautiful pies in your future!)
The two questions posted were pretty scarey. My heart goes out to these people and I understand your dilema in suggesting assistance. They really do need to ‘just do it!’ as Cindy G. says.
Jean L. I’m giving my DIL a pedicure after she has a lovely soak in my 6 ft. clawfoot tub tonight. I’ve made some of her favourite foods for supper and I can’t wait for them to land in our door in about an hour! I told her she had to come home so I could pamper her while she’s pregnant ;o)
We’re still using the jars successfully. CC’s are paid at the end of every month, TFSA’s are slowly creeping up, and LOC is steadily being paid down. All any of us can do is do what we can every single day.
Jolie, Gail means she is starting to ’shoot’ more episodes of her TV show TDDUP and I can’t wait to see them!
February 14, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Catherine…I can’t believe I missed that. Lordy I’m not thinking today. LOL thanks.
February 14, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Gail … just a quick tree suggestion. What about mulberries? They are one of my favourite fruits and I think are highly neglected. I remember the towering trees at summer camp heavy with the delicious fruit. If you don’t pick the berries you will get a bit of a mess but the birds will love them too! Good luck.
February 15, 2009 at 12:39 am
AHHH, Gail, your post brings back memories for me too. When my Ex abandoned us, we were living on an acreage outside Edmonton, on 57 acres of wonder. I had chokecherries, saskatoon bushes, high bush cranberries, a hazelnut, crabapple, and plum tree. We had a small hay field, nice barn for the critters, a chicken coop, and a garden plot. We had goats, geese, chickens, pigs, and a sheep for my boys to learn about life the old fashioned way. We ate what we grew, and loved it. Except the winters!! Then we would need a snow plow to get out of our own yard. Unfortunately, we were also 800 miles from my own family, and I wasn’t as tough as I am now!! When I look back, I realize that I grew tremendously from moving home and returning to school in my ‘middle age’. While I would have also survived where we were, I like to think that all roads lead us where we are meant to be. My mother-in-law, who is still quite close, told me that I am the type of person who “blooms where I am planted”, which is a good thing I guess!! You will use your nesting talents to make your new place ‘home’, and discover reasons why it is as good, or better, than what you left behind.
Good luck in your endeavors!
February 15, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Well, I may not be Miss Popularity here, but I work at a bank. I can’t speak for all banks, but the branch I work at DOES care about it’s customers. It is a business and it has to make a profit or I don’t have a job, but I have seen Loan Managers turn people down because they know the client can’t afford the payments. True, the bank doesn’t want to lose money if you can’t pay, but the staff member is human and knows it is not a good solution to put the customer further into debt. Like Cindy G wrote, it takes determination and there is no easy fix. Banks get blamed for lending too much and blamed for not lending to people who think they need it when what they really need is to stop spending so much. There are tonnes of self-help books and sites like Gail’s, and banks do offer great products that I know have helped people get out of debt, but they were disciplined. Michelle wrote that banks offer credit cards to get you more in the hole….we don’t twist your arm to make you use them and they CAN be beneficial if you don’t use them as another source of income. I agree that it would be a great idea to teach budgeting in school because by the time you are old enough to qualify for a credit card, it could be too late.
I guess getting out of debt is kind of like trying to lose weight. Everyone wants to lose a few pounds but many try the so called easy fixes that never really work. Budgeting is like a diet – it takes hard work over a lifetime to reach your goal.
February 15, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I just thought I’d throw out one more suggestion for a fruit tree… peaches! Like earlier posters suggested, check with your local garden centres, they’ll have the latest information on which cultivars are self fruitful and which ones are hardy in your area. Best of luck!
February 15, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I think after this recession, people will have much less trust in banks. I foresee a great deal of sharing going on the personal finance blogging arena as replacing banks somewhat as a source of information to help with financial planning. As people begin to look for sources of information they can trust, they echew the so called “experts” who are profiting at their expense, and rely on the first hand experience of “friends” made via social media – this may actually relieve banks from being the primary source of financial information for a lot of people. For better or for worse, I think the way that we evaluate and accept financial information is changing.
February 15, 2009 at 6:41 pm
I am a Financial Services Rep for one of the 5 major banks in Canada…and we have rolled a new program where we are pro active in getting our clients into the bank to see how we can better help them get out of debt. We have several new options in place from reducing payments and or interest rate to changing credit products completly, to changing account service plans etc…everyday I go to work I am meeting with at least one client that I am able to drop their monthly debt costs with the bank. I watch TDDUP every night and I have used many of Gail’s suggestions with my clients. If a client is declined for credit I will explain in detail why that happened and will work with them to get their credit back in order and back on track. My job is not to profit from someone swimming in debt but to play an active role in helping them to stay afloat and and swim all the way to shore. There are big changes coming in the banking world and they are for the better…and I am committed to being part of that change….
February 16, 2009 at 9:34 am
My suggestion for a fruit tree – a sour cherry tree. They don’t grow quite as big as a regular cherry tree (though they aren’t dwarf); Montmorency is my favourite. The flowers are beautiful in the spring, the red berries are gorgeous on the tree, yummy to pop in your mouth, very useful for deserts, freeze well, and anything you can’t eat gets gobbled by birds.
February 16, 2009 at 11:01 am
This post is so timely for me. I was reading through consumer survey responses at work and was just crushed by the amount of entitlement people seem to have. It’s awful. Everyone seems to want something for nothing and to have free stuff just handed to them.
I think the worst part is that all of that garbage overshadows the fact that there are people who are really hurting and actively doing everything they possibly can to get by in a tough situation.
February 16, 2009 at 11:40 am
@ Kelly & Yvonne… we need more people like you both working at banks.. it’s nice to see that some banks are trying to change. I bank at a major financial institution but since I prefer to go in to pay bills I have met many who work there and know that they care and are human beings too just trying to do the best they can. It’s up to each individual person to be responsible for their own financial health… blaming a bank isn’t going to help and everyone should just be aware that while yes they are there to make a profit the real problem starts when people start living beyond their means… Thanks Gail for your wonderful website… I’ll now be debt free 4 months from now!! That definitely took hard work, dedication and a complete change in mindset… there’s no such thing as a quick fix.
February 16, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@Holly, I live in the US, outside of Washington, DC. I watch GVO and ‘Til Debt… on the American Life Network. http://www.americanlifetv.com/
February 17, 2009 at 7:15 pm
@Jolie, I wish they would offer banking for dummies! I’d go to that bank in a second. I have balanced out my budget (using Gail’s sheet, thanks Gail) but I am terrible at understanding things like RRSPs, GICs, stocks, bonds, anything money related. I guess when you hate math and business, you end up learning zilch about this stuff!
Who is wanting to start a club in London? I am terrible with money stuff and am super busy (I go to UWO and work AND volunteer) but maybe I could squeeze it in. . .somewhere. . .
May 11, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Hi Gail,
Thank you for this blog, it got me moving. I received your book today, and I figured out my Magic Jars money. I have $269.31 a week to spend. The online worksheets are fabulous, I always wondered how you worked out the weekly and monthly amounts on your shows. It is going to be hard! I am very weak in stores, so I also created a time management schedule to keep my time fairly structured and away from emotional shopping. My family either live out of town or come home on weekends, so shopping became an easy time filler. Yikes! My best good habit is that I like the library … $5 annual membership.
I’ve tried to budget and follow a plan in my head (I’m really poor at journalling) and here I am in the same amount of debt for the past few years with no step forward … pay off … charge some more. I’m sick of it.
I can’t wait to be out of debt and have a savings! It will take me a full year, so here goes!!