Comments on: A Mind of My Own

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 23:18:55 +0000

I have a 22 year old son with autism. It’s been a long road, but he’s doing great, and I couldn’t be a prouder mother of my wonderful boy who has such a big heart and an even bigger smile, delighting in the simple things in life that we overlook, while he struggles to understand the social complexities of this world we live in. The people at his school growing up -teachers and assistants, as well as his peers and their parents – made my son’s experience outstanding in many ways. It was like he was in a warm, fuzzy bubble for all his school years. I will always be grateful for those who reached out and showed how much they cared for my son and supported him. We need more people in this world who aren’t afraid to show affection and help our children know that the world can be a kind place. Bravo, Gail! I always knew we were like-minded in money… but now to find out what an understanding compassionate heart you have for people who have exceptional challenges, makes me want to be your friend!

By: Anne

Anne — Fri, 29 Jun 2012 14:07:01 +0000

My daughter’s little son is just 2, with Autism. She is discovering all the time the different ways he needs to be treated compared to other children and is struggling with his sleep habits, screaming tantrums and everyday stuff. She is also 5 months pregnant and completely worn out most of the time from lack of sleep. We live 1000s of miles apart, so I’m no help but over the phone, so I think your Friday blogs will be a great help to her and me as well. She doesn’t really have the time to sit and read (usually 5 mins here and there) so I plan to do the reading and relaying whenever I can. Thank you Gail for your informative and learning side of things based on actual experience. I first heard of you many years ago with your simplified ways of managing finance, so this is a HUGE plus for her, her husband and me right now.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 02:08:24 +0000

Wow, I am a teacher also and I am shocked at some of things posted here, especially at Siobhan’s comments. I give hugs all the time, or tap a child on the shoulder if need be to gain their attention…you do for the children what they need. I also taught a boy with PDD-NOS a few years ago and found I needed to put my finger under his chin to look at me and focus on what I was saying to him. If we eliminate all human contact, then how can I properly be doing my job? A teacher, or a volunteer, or any other person working with children is not simply a robot; that would be extremely detrimental to children and society in general.

By: Amie

Amie — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 17:26:22 +0000

I do believe that a hug is innocent. If the adult was constantly hugging and doing it in such a way that is questionable that is where they should be in trouble. But to hug a child that has hurt themselves, or in the above case. What about at the end of the year and they are saying goodbye? When I took a college class one of my instructors said something about not even being able to give someone a pat on the back for a job well done because that could be mistaken. Come on people!!! We as humans need that physical contact and it’s not always sexual!
Gail, what a great job! It’s amazing how things happen in our lives to prepare us for the next step!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 12:08:52 +0000

I was a teacher for 5 years and, when I taught elementary, the kids would practically BEG for a hug. Kids need that kind of love and reassurance from someone who is important to them…and often teachers are extremely important to kids. It is so sad to me that our schools have turned hugging into something inappropriate and wrong. I’m so glad Daniel had you there to be there for him when he needed it most.

By: Mara

Mara — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 15:30:47 +0000

I love reading about Malcolm

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 18:17:31 +0000

Gail,
I have a son with PDD-NOS, and he too has sensory issues like the ones you and others have described. I have also worked in a school where the little ones needed that deep pressure (hug) you described, as it helped center them, and to cope.

Many kids with sensory issues will be evaluated by an OT, who will determine what sorts of things will help (chewing, heavy lifting, deep pressure using vests/lap snakes, etc.). Way to go for helping out that little guy using your Momsense and good luck with Malcom!

By: mickmack

mickmack — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:34:09 +0000

Wow Siobhan, that is sobering. I hug lots of kids when I go into the school to visit my kids or help the teacher. They know me from other walks of life as the Mom of their friend, the girl guide leader, the bus driver, the lady that helps them with their reading etc. Maybe it is because we are a small town and all the parents recognize/know each other too? Kids need to learn safe touch, not no touch … but yes, it is hard to know which adult might be an abuser. And I as I write that, the thought bounces into my head that it isn’t hard. You get that feeling, that voice of who it is … but you aren’t allowed to profile or act on that, so we all get treated as potentials. Very sad.

Good tips on the Aspergers Gail, and wonderful training you had prior to Malcolm.

By: rachael

rachael — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:25:26 +0000

Heather that is just not true – lots of teachers hug children.

By: Nancy!

Nancy! — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:56:27 +0000

I am so happy that I work (as a secretary) in a school where hugging is allowed and not frowned upon. I have several children who come each morning for a hug and others that come when they feel they need one. How sad that our world is such a place where a child who needs or wants a hug is basically turned away.

By: Siobhan

Siobhan — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 15:03:39 +0000

I too am shocked to read that you were allowed to touch the children when you were in the class. If a volunteer ever put a child on their lap and hugged them I would need to inform the principal and possibly F&CS. There would also be the need to call the parents and to ask the parent volunteer to not return. My head just reels with the fall out – and longs for a day where we do not assume that everyone wants to hurt children. Of course that would mean parents would also have to start trusting schools to actually is act in the best interest of their child. The only people that can touch a child are those with special training and then they must fill in paperwork every time they make contact with a child. Making contact with a child is not unlike a police officer taking out their service weapon. To this day if a child hugs me I have to stand stiffly, turn sideways and ask them to stop if I do not want to be investigated for grooming the children.

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 13:23:48 +0000

I’m amazed at your patience, but also that you were allowed to gently hug Daniel. Today’s teachers aren’t allowed to hug students, because of the possible repercussions associated with them. So kudos to you for actually being able to do what he needed.

By: Sylvia

Sylvia — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 13:06:58 +0000

That was meant to read Excerpt !!

By: Sylvia

Sylvia — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 13:05:55 +0000

Wonderful except Gail. Please keep sharing.

By: Darlene

Darlene — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 12:57:54 +0000

Wow! I think this is my favorite one yet! Meeting Daniel was truly a blessing. Sometimes I think the universe has an ironic but perfect way of giving us the tools/experiences we need to tackle lifes challenges. Glad you were ale to apply what you learned – Malcolm is very lucky to have you as a mom! Out of curiosity, did you reach out to Daniel’s mom after his diagnosis.