Saving State of Mind
Posted by Gail | Filed under Saving
Sometimes finding the money to save means changing how you think about spending. People have been keeping up with the Joneses for so long that the idea of not keeping up is impossible to even imagine. But if you switch your thinking to “Frugal is the new Black”, you might be surprised at how many people are quite happy to tag along. More people may be in your broke-shoes than you think.
Whining about being broke is pathetic. Reframe the “I don’t have any money” moan and you’ll go from “poor” to “smart”. Challenge your friends to find a place to eat out that’ll cost you $10 or less a person. See who can come up with the most interesting option, and that person gets a meal out on everyone else.
Swap shopping for sightseeing, bike riding or people-watching. Entertainment doesn’t have to cost money; you simply have to be with people who love you and who make you laugh. And you can do that just as easily at a free concert in the park as at one for which you had to pay big bucks for a ticket.
Make second-hand shopping a game. You can build a fabulous wardrobe in second hand stores. My daughter’s friends refer to it as “pillaging the Village”… Value Village that is. They have a good sense of style so they can spot the pieces that add interest or build on their wardrobes for very little money. They shop as a gang and turn it into entertainment without spending a fortune.
If you have friends who are always pressuring you to spend money you don’t have, you’ll have to come up with some tactics to deal with their rabid consumerism while holding true to your new frugality. Suggest that you’ll join them for the dessert part of the meal. Or eat before you go and then make do with an appie or a salad. Suggest they come to your house for dins, and ask them each to bring their favorite contribution to whatever theme you come up with: Mexican, Chinese, Veggie.
There are loads of ways to embrace a new reality that leaves you enough money to save. Show some imagination. Then have the gumption to stick to your plan.
May 22, 2012 at 10:18 am
This message has perfect timing! We saved $8K last year – planned spending – to update and repair our yard – we’re doing everything from widening our driveway to excavating for better drainage, putting in a patio and building 6 raised garden beds. The work is underway right now.
The saving part at the start was easy because we were really motivated by the goal. But fatigue sets in sometimes and during the last 4 months, it was really hard to not go shopping, travelling, eating out. We saved our money by tackling area in the budget we could live without.
Then we had a hard time forking over that cash to various contractors and purchasing the supplies / equipment for the work we are doing! But we’ve seen great progress in our yard the last 4 days and now we’re excited to save again for next year’s project – a new deck!
But, it always comes back to finding that motivation to trim back the budget and get creative with saving. We enjoy travelling and we love weekend getaways. It’s been hard living without those so we’ve planned one 48-hour super cheap jaunt this summer and it’s back to thrifty living for us!
Things that helped us trim back costs this year were dinner parties / pot lucks and picnics; buying our clothes at consignment stores (we all enjoy this in our family!); and getting wise about costs like gas for driving and gas / electric for utilities.
I’m looking forward to inspiration from other posters here. I fear it will be hard to keep being frugal with summer upon us and the beckon of barbecuing (meat is pricy!!) and trips to the beach.
May 22, 2012 at 10:44 am
I’ve been reading “Early Retirement Extreme” lately. It was written by a young man who saved 75% of his salary for five years and then off the interest generated by that capital. He’s mastered frugally. Yes it is extreme and most won’t go to the lengths he did to change his life, but I’ve gleaned some important insights from his writing.
1. You have to transform your concept of money, work and stuff (sort of like “Your Money or Your Life” because half-measures won’t work. You’ll end up feeling deprived instead of liberated.
2. Our current service-based economy makes it super easy to spend our hard-earned cash. Learn to do things for yourself instead of trading money for skills.
3. Ha! Value Village is where the upper-middle class dumps their barely-used stuff. Reap the benefits of depreciation and buy their stuff at basement prices. Game the system.
If you follow the 80/20 rule, then even small changes are additive. And the value that’s generated by reconnecting to yourself and others is priceless.
May 22, 2012 at 11:40 am
to Andrea M:
I repayed my student loans and now I am in my final year of building my 6-mo EF (overall, this took many years). I will admit that I am tired of my budget. Awareness of the limits of $ is getting to be a bit much. You might want to give yourself a quick break between big project (2-3 months) and select which parts of your ‘previous’ self is important. I see it as part of celebrating a milestone. I am looking forward to a break soon myself!
May 22, 2012 at 11:52 am
Excellent points Gail.
Not to be a wet blanket but I felt it was important to mention: sometimes, you’ll encounter spendthrift friends who just aren’t compatible with a frugal lifestyle.
They either have to be taken in small doses that don’t impact your own finances or “fired” as friends.
The good friends may laugh at first but they’ll soon adapt and thank you for opening their eyes.
May 22, 2012 at 12:04 pm
I feel lucky that I have friends with similar incomes and values as I do, so there’s not a big feeling to compete or keep up with each other when it comes to buying things.
We always hold girl’s night on Wednesdays at a local pub so we can get cheap wings & beer =) it comes to less than $20/person and we all have a great time!
May 22, 2012 at 12:11 pm
One of our favorite summer activities is hosting bbq’s in our yard. We discovered we could save a lot more if we hosted lunch time bbq’s rather then dinner. It is easier to entertain (horse shoes, stereo and a deck of cards and the weather does the rest). No decorations are required (the sunshine suffices) The expectations are a lot less on the noon meal (hotdogs, buns, chips salads some home made lemonade and some ice cream and we are done). All these items are easily brought by guest so we can reduce the cost and still enjoy the day. Not to mention the neighbours appreciate us making our noise in the afternoon rather then the evening.
May 22, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Great message again! It leads so well to my next point;
Thank you again Gail!!! We celebrated the payment of our Mtg this weekend. We were in a whole other world 2 yrs ago where we had a failed business with tremendous debt and no clue how to get out. Our goal this year was lofty and thought to almost be impossible was to pay off this Mtg and we accomplished it in 5M!!! Hard work pays off.
I do have one question. In most shows you talk about save and emerg funds. At the end of the show you deescribe how if they are both invested after x many years you will have x to retire on.
How do you count this money as emerg if it’s invested? Am I missing something obvious… I feel like it’s simple and I can’t see it.
p.s. our family moto has now become “The man ontop of the mountain, didn’t just fall there.” What a great lesson for our kids!
May 22, 2012 at 2:24 pm
loulou2 – Congrats one becoming mortgage free!!
The rest of you shared awesome ideas.
AndreaM – It sounds like you will have a fabulous yard when the work is done. I hope you get at least a few weeks of the summer to just sit back and enjoy your surroundings.
We have also spent a fair bit of money on our yard & home this year. To compensate, we will plan local day trips and pack lunches to bring.
As for 2nd hand shopping – we frequently plan our purchases and see if it can be bought 2nd hand. We scored an awesome deal on a high-end 2nd hand lawn mover last week. We always let family & friends know what we are looking for as well. We wanted to purchase an aquarium this year, a friend called to say he was selling his and gave me 1st dibs. It worked out perfect and I have the peace of mind to know that it doesn’t leak as I am familiar with the tank & accessories.
A very dear friend has decided to get married in Jamaica next spring. I’d love to be there, but I don’t think I can come up with that much money by then as we have a trip planned for Sept. I think the biggest hurdle is learning to say ‘no’.
May 22, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I love shopping at Value Village! And for all those who grumble and moan that they could not possibly wear used clothing, I bought two dresses there, neither of which had ever been worn (still had tags!) for a fraction of the original price. One retailed for $150 and I got it for something absurd like $40. Love love love making those kinds of finds. Beautiful, often brand new, clothes for cheap! I also got an Esprit coat that retails for over $200 for $35. The only flaw? A tiny little tear in the inside of one of the side pockets, which I don’t use anyway. I make an evening of it–it’s fun to wander in there and the reward is the great stuff I can find there!
May 22, 2012 at 9:02 pm
We call Value Village “V.V. Boutique”. Its a great place but I mostly shop there in winter.
Now with Garage Sale season here in town, you can get the cheapest
clothes of all, like $1 or $2 for tops, or shoes if you can find someone with your size.
I have bought most of my kids’ tops at garage sales over the years and still make an occasional score with my 15 year old daughter. I bought a few things for her at a garage sale a week ago, and only one she didn’t like. Yes, I am out $2 on that item, but I did find about 4 things she did like–all for under $15!
Compared to garage sales, clothes are over-priced at VV Boutique!
May 23, 2012 at 8:59 am
Some of my favorite childhood memories are of Mom and Dad packing the big picnic basket and taking us kids for afternoon picnics at area campgrounds, probably only once or twice each summer so the memories really stand out. On the drive home, we’d stop at a store and get an ice cream treat. Fun times!
May 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Jutebug, those memories are the best!
One of my best memories was going for a winter walk on a frozen lake with my family & a close friends of ours. We had a great time exploring and had hot chocolate on the side of the lake.
Cheers!
May 23, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I went to Value Village with my sister the other day and the next day I was telling a coworker about all the great stuff I got there and she said, “Why did you go there? I always thought of Value Village as being a place for ‘other’ people, not people like you.” Meaning that Value Village is for poor people. In my mind, if I can spend $4 for a pair of work pants that would be $60 at Ricki’s, then I’ll do it. I should spend the $60 just because I have the money for it?
May 23, 2012 at 5:14 pm
I used to thrift shop for clothing a lot but since being made more aware of the bedbug issue in the city I live in I’m wary – and so I haven’t been into Value Village or Talize for a long time. For those of you who thrift shop clothing, have you encountered any issues with bedbugs? I was told that putting clothing straight into a dryer will kill them but I usually like to wash clothing first and some of the thrift clothing items I’ve bought in the past have not been made from the type of material that you would want to throw into a dryer – it would ruin the material. Plus throwing clothing I haven’t washed into a dryer doesn’t seem a good idea either – it would lock the dirt in. Any information appreciated – I’ve searched online for information with no luck – I don’t know whether VV or Talize or Goodwill check things for bugs? I would love to go back to buying thrift clothes but I’m terrified of bringing bedbugs home with me – I just couldn’t afford to replace my belongings.
May 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm
it seems to me that there is also a risk of bedbugs from buying new clothes, depending where they’ve been and who has tried them on and what they had on them…ugh….I heard the dryer is the best way…..maybe wash them once, hang dry them, then when they are completely dry, toss them in the dryer for an hour? I think shrinkage only occurs when clothes are dried from a wet state….
May 27, 2012 at 1:08 pm
As someone who just went through the agony of having to de-bedbug my house (including finally giving up and replacing a six month old sofa) when it became infected from an absolutely beautiful afghan that I picked up for a song at the local thrift shop–please be aware that this can, all too easily, happen to anyone.