Perception is Everything
Posted by Gail | Filed under Gail Club News, Psychology
There are a hundred billion stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it’s less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers. Richard Feynman
How much debt is too much debt? I get letters from people all the time asking me this question. It is as if they re looking for some sort of rule of thumb in terms of how deep a hole they can dig. Or is it that with a national debt through the stratosphere, owing $30,000 on a bunch of credit cards seems like peanuts?
That’s the problem with perception: it makes everything look skewed depending on where you’re looking from. Is your glass half-empty or half-full? If you’re always looking at a glass that’s half empty, it’s human nature to want to fill it up… buy more stuff whydontcah. If your glass is half full, it may be enough, at least for now. No push to shop. Hmmm.
Look at the diagram below:
How you see things has an impact on how you feel and how you act. If all your friends and family are buried up to their armpits in debt, being only waist-high in credit crap will make you feel okay, even cocky. Hang out with a bunch of folks who would no sooner carry debt than shoot themselves in the head and you’re suddenly a moron. Hmmm.
It’s pretty hard for some people to shift their perception.
Ever seen the picture of The Old Woman/Young Girl?
Who do you see?
And how easy is it for you to move back and forth between Old and Young?
Now imagine that you’ve never lived on a budget, never thought about making more than a minimum payment, never considered saving some money. How hard would it be for that person (is that person you?) to move to a place where “normal” means having money in the bank, writing down every penny you spend, and being debt free. Big shift, eh?
So how do you change your own (or someone else’s) perception?
First, it’s important to accept that we have been taught, over the past few decades, some things that are simply not true. We’ve been taught, for example, to believe we can live on borrowed money. We have been taught that homes are sources of capital appreciation and debt repayment. We have been taught that you don’t have to save anything – after all, who needs an emergency fund when you have a line of credit?
These are all untruths. The truth is we have to live within our means or run the risk of losing everything. Homes are places we live, and if they go up in value, we’re very lucky. And if you don’t save something just in case, you’ll be up the creek with crap happens… and crap happens to everyone.
It’s like looking at the picture of the Old Woman/Young Girl and first accepting that both pictures exist. For as long as you hold on to the illusion that the only one there is the one you can see, you’ll never be able to shift your perception.
Accepting that what you “know” can be wrong lets you open up your mind to other options. When you open your mind to other options, you create the opportunity to shift your perception.
If you only see one or the other of the Old Woman/Young Girl, print a copy of the picrure (you can find it on the web) and find someone who only sees the other person. Then spend some time helping each other to see a different picture. It’s a small exercise, but it’s fun and useful.
It’ll also give you some experience changing perception so when you have to go home and convince your honey that a budget is a good thing, you’ll be better equipped.
Here’s the source of the Ponzo Illusion used above. There are heaps more perception “tests” for those who are interested. Enjoy! http://www.yorku.ca/eye/thejoy.htm
Gail Club News: I received this email this week from Jessie in Calgary and wanted to share it with you.
We did have our first meeting last night and I wanted to let you know about it. There were 5 of us in attendance; we started by introducing ourselves and giving a bit of background and overview of each of our family and financial situations. Everyone seems to have gotten on well with everyone else and things felt very comfortable and relaxed. Questions were asked, answers, suggestions, and support given; knowledge, tips and tricks were also shared!I think it was felt unanimously by the group that it was nice to be with others who understood and supported the decisions and efforts each is making to “cut back”, “pay off”, and “save for” various items in our daily spending. We each seem to be in a situation where our other social networks or family members just don’t understand what it is we are doing, or why we are bothering? It’s really nice to now have this network that is “safe” and supportive.Our next meeting has been scheduled for Wednesday February 25th. We will be rotating who’s house it is held at, and everyone did a fabulous job bringing food, so we will certainly continue doing that so as to “share the cost”!The option of breaking the group up based on geographic location was discussed last night. I think it will take a few more meetings before it will be determined if that is what we want to do.
Rock on Jessie and all the Calgary posse! For those of you who want to join a group, or start a group, you can contact me at getgvo@gmail.com and I’ll hook you up with people in your general vicinity. There are groups starting in:
- Hamilton, or you can email directly to gailclubhamilton@hotmail.com
- Edmonton,
- Fenelon Falls/Bobcaygeon
- Oshawa/Ajax/Pickering,
- Ottawa
- Saskatoon,
- Toronto,
- Wasaga,
- Windsor/Essex,
- and there’s someone interested in London.
Toronto has more than one club, and Jamie wrote to say, “I just wanted to say that I’ve started a Gail Club, and if any women between 20-35 in Toronto that you know are interested in joining a club that we are accepting new members.” If you want to hook up specifically with Jamie’s group, make sure you say so in your email.
One final note. I received this email this week and I’m passing it on directly as an FYI. If anyone else has had this problem, or is heading into this territory, it may bear further discussion. Kate wrote:
This is really neither a question or success post, but rather an FYI. I am new to the site and have been reading some of the articles and questions. I haven’t had a chance to read them all, so you may have already addressed this, but I thought I would point it out anyway…
I read a previous question about student loan repayment and read your answer that students do not have to pay back their loan while they are in school. Unfortunately, this is not true (as my husband and I found out). Full-time students are only exempt for about 7 years. Then, they must start making repayments.
My husband took a couple extra years to complete his undergraduate degree, then went directly into a Masters and finally a PhD program. Our plan was always to wait until he finished school, then spend a couple years after living lean and putting as much money as possible towards the loan. Last year, however, in his second year, we were told by Canada Student Loans that his 7 years were up and we had to start repaying. He told them he was still in school full-time, and their response was that it didn’t matter after 7 years. So, now we are scraping together $560/month from my salary to make the minimum payments. The funny thing is, before he started making a fuss, you had to search through the references to the Student Loan Act (i.e. long legal documents) to even find this 7 year clause. Now, I believe they have updated their website.
Personally, I think it is rediculous that the Government would rather see Graduate students lessen their education or worse still drop out of school in order to work to make the payments, when these students will likely make more income, be in a better position to repay, and provide more value to the country given another 2 years or so to finish.
In any case, I thought you should know so that you can provide the right information to other students. I love your show and your information has been so valuable in helping my husband and I figure out how to repay the student loan and still meet our personal and financial goals! Thanks!
TTFN
February 6, 2009 at 9:25 am
Congrats to the Calgary group on a successful 1st meeting!! Sounds like you are off to an excellent & supportive start!
Anyone interested in Halifax??
February 6, 2009 at 10:50 am
Kate, shouldn’t your husband bear the responsiblity for reading and understanding his loan agreement, as long as the clause was there when he accepted the money? Ignorantia juris non excusat.
February 6, 2009 at 11:21 am
Please help me find a family learning to save. I’m a TV producer with CBC News: Sunday, the current affairs show hosted by Evan Solomon and Carole MacNeil. Gail gave me permission to post here.
I’m working on a story about the practical skills that people need to weather a recession, for example: cooking a healthy and cost-efficient meal, hemming or repairing a pair of pants, fixing a leaky faucet or repairing the car.
This weekend, I’m looking to interview a family (within a 2 hour drive from Toronto) who is tightening their belt and has decided to bring these task back into the home to save money. They shouldn’t already be a jack of all trades.
The family would not have to disclose their financial situation, just one sentence about why they’ve decided to started to eating in vs out and repairing something vs throwing out and buying new.
I can promise that the family will treated with the utmost respect. This family (and the way they save) will help other families.
If you are in this position or you know someone who is, then please contact me! I’m on a very tight deadline.
Work: 416-205-6648
jay.armitag@cbc.ca
Many thanks for your time.
Best,
Jay
February 6, 2009 at 11:58 am
Wow… Gail, I caught your show a few times and decided to visit your website. In November 2008 my husband and I locked up out credit cards, we aren’t maxed out, but we just decided that enough is enough and that living with a balance of any kind on our credit cards is not acceptable.
We didn’t start a budget though…
I looked at our account at the end of January and saw that 1/2 my paycheck was already spent (due to overdraft protection)… and this is after getting a small Christmas bonus on my mid month check.
I read another blog of yours and last weekend went hrough all the money that we spent and was horrified at how overspent we were in the different sections on your budget page.
Well we did it, we have made a budget and have lived on cash for a whole week now and what a mind minder. After swimming last Sunday we stopped for Subway and because we were paying with cash rather than debit I decided that the water in my bottle was good enough, that I didn’t need the pop. With debit I would have got the pop without question. Paying with cash makes you think more.
Another learning is that our dog had to get a booster shot yesterday, I didn’t antipcipate it would cost $92. We were invited to a friends home tonight to have a mystery wine tasting. We are expected to bring 2 bottles of wine. Due to the unaticipated $92 booster shot we have no money left to buy 2 bottles of wine for tonight… so I’m going to have to skip out this time and take my dog for a walk instead.
In just one week we have changed our habits and actually feel empowered by sticking to a budget. Next time I will phone ahead to see how much a “booster” shot will cost so that I don’t have to skip out on an evening of fun. My husband and are are both challenged and excited about the efforts that we are making.
Thank you Gail for coming into my life!
February 6, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Another Kate! Wow!
Anyone want to start a group in Ottawa?
February 6, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I’d be interested in Ottawa!
February 6, 2009 at 12:30 pm
i’d be interested in Ottawa too
February 6, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I’m interested in Ottawa too
February 6, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I’m also interested in a group in Ottawa.
February 6, 2009 at 5:04 pm
We’re taking over!
February 6, 2009 at 6:24 pm
we use to live an hour east of ottawa now we live in Alberta
February 6, 2009 at 6:36 pm
anywho about the pictures, they actually brought me back to my college years, when i was in a psychology class welooked at various pictures like that and They were actually two that i remembered.
to be honest we never really set a budget, we made sure we had enough money in our account to pay our bills and such, food was we go and buy what we want or need or think we need. My husband suggested multiple times that we do a budget and meal plan and wejust never did it. We have abudget now and are staying mostly in line with it. Last week our food budget went about $30 over what we had set aside so digging into the other jars we did.
It really does feel liberating staying within our budget mostly, knowing were not wasting money and not racking up our credit cards like we use to.
I look forward to the day that we are debt free.
I am also thankful for my husband’s job which allows me to pretty much be a stay at home mom, and have my own home based buisness. I can’t imagine leaving my boys yet to go to work full time.
I want to hold on to my boys as long as I can and spend as much time as possible with them until its time for them to go to school.
February 6, 2009 at 9:04 pm
There are two of us in London, Ontario, who want to start up a club now – anyone else out there?
February 7, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Those illusion/perception tests are always educational.
It goes to show that your eyes can missinform you much too easily.
I am a glass-half full person and my husband is the opposite. But both of us avoid debt as a bad burden that we are too cheap to pay for! It’s bizarre how many people shun us for our frugal attitiude, they think we aren’t “living”, but I beg to argue that it’s the free-spenders that are sacrificing their quality of life. All perception.
My dad told me I could not get a drivers license until I had bought my own car. I thought it was terribly cruel and cheap of him as my friends either had their parent’s cars to borrow or grandparent’s pitching in for the purchase… hey, my grades were great, I thought I was pretty responsible and I felt like I was being punished. Dad explained that by working towards the thing that was so important to me, making it a goal, I would respect it and value it’s worth more than if it was handed to me. I argued that having a job to pay for the car would be much easier if I had wheels, but he wouldn’t budge, so I bicycled to work the 2 jobs for two summers to get a reliable car so I could get my learner’s license so I could get my drivers license so I could drive to work so I could pay for upkeep, insurance and fuel for my hard-won freedom!
I guess it was like the old saying, you can give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, but teach him to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
The lesson was a tough one to sink in, all those hours of working had me resentful, especially when friends seemed to have it so easy. But when I moved out, the car got to go with me, and so did the work experience to go on my resume! A foundation for money management, goal setting, work ethic, and a whole host of other good stuff at the age of 18.
February 7, 2009 at 11:57 pm
For fun perception stuff, this is the best. If you have never seen this, the exercise was a college test on perception differences between men and women. There is a white team and a black team each passing basketballs. You have to count the number of times the white team passes the basketball. The results are really amazing. You can access the whole thing here.
http://cow.neondragon.net/index.php/91-Count-The-Number-Of-Basketball-Passes
March 3, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Regarding the student loan repayment…I took out my first student loan in the fall of 1993, took 6 years to complete my undergraduate degree, and worked for 2 years before returning to graduate school. I made payments during the 2 years of working, but when I returned to school I had no trouble with regaining interest-free status (my loan was with the Royal Bank directly by this point, as I had gone into repayment previously). I’ve been in graduate school for 7 years now, first a Masters’, and now a PhD. Were you dealing with a bank, or with the Federal Student Loan Centre? This doesn’t sound right…