Change for the Better
Posted by Gail | Filed under Life Lessons
Is there something you’re doing that’s working against you? You know what I mean… yelling at the kids, leaving work early every chance you get because you hate what you do, letting your personal space fall to rack and ruin because you can’t find the energy?
We all have things we know we should do differently, little things we’d like to change, or monster-huge bad habits that are eating our lives. But change is hard. Here are five things you can do to make the whole thing just a little easier so you can make a change and make a difference.
1. Treat the change as a game. Hate making your bed in the morning? Focus on how lovely it feels to walk into a beautiful room at bedtime. It’ll take less than three minutes to make the bed, but you can enjoy the beautiful room every time you walk into it. Can’t imagine cooking every meal at home when you have a wicked take-out or eat-out habit? Decide you’ll cook at home on Tuesday and Thursday nights this month. Next month, add Monday and Wednesday.
2. Use positive speak to drown out the negative chatter. If your head is full of reasons why you can’t, come up with three good reasons why you will. Write ‘em down. Next time your brain tries to convince you to not change, quote yourself – out loud – one of your reasons why you will change. Research shows that you can change your thinking on purpose, so get busy drowning out the “I can’ts” and “it work works.”
3. Surround yourself with the right folks. If you’re trying to break a shopping habit, hanging out with the chicks or dude who love to shop isn’t going to help your cause. Find something to do instead of shopping – curling, knitting, cooking, running, reading – and then find people who love to do the new thing. If you’re trying to quit smoking, dump your smoking friends for a while. Trying to quit drinking? Hang out with those who prefer to sip tea.
4. Learn something new. Many people don’t know enough about the very thing they want to change. Hate your job? Do you know what else you’d be good at? Hate your weight? Do you know how to eat right? Want to be a better money manager? Do you know what’s involved in building a solid financial foundation? Time to take some classes, read some books and do some practicing.
5. Reward your good behaviour. Just about every expert agrees that when you’re trying to make change stick you have to reward your good behaviour. Set milestones for what you’re trying to achieve, and then link a feel-good activity to your accomplishment. And as you change, don’t focus on the big picture… that’s setting the bar too high. Look instead to the small things you’re doing differently, and give yourself a pat on the back for those.
October 1, 2012 at 7:23 am
Thanks for the message, Gail! I’m currently in a slump – and all these tips are going to help for sure!
October 1, 2012 at 7:38 am
Great message Gail.
I would add one more thing. Volunteer in a cause you believe in. Not only will it benefit the cause, it will renew your spirit and help you realize your life is not as bad as you think it is.
October 1, 2012 at 7:55 am
Tips #1&2 really work for me. I’m great at coming up with plans…and then finding them too restrictive and boring. Focusing on the positive outcome is a great motivator for me!
October 1, 2012 at 8:28 am
Great thread this morning, love the tips. Intend to see how some of these tips can get implemented into my daily routine. Especially #2.
October 1, 2012 at 9:37 am
My position has been abolished by the gvt agency I’ve worked at for more than 15 years. I was in shock of having to leave a job I adore and worrying about what I’ll do next to pay the bills. Our house became an even bigger mess than what it was before. I didn’t feel I had the energy to do anything. Four weeks ago, with my husband, we decide it was about time to start moving!
We made a not-to-elaborate plan to clean up our own bedroom. We started on Saturday morning. By Sunday afternoon, the best part of it was done. We finished up the details on the following weeknights. Our room is still very nice. The trick for us was to plan a place for everything. Also, we focused on positive thinking: it will be nice to look at, we’ll find things much more easily, I won’t suffer so much from my allergy to dust, etc. Advice # 2 from Gail!
Now, I have a wonderful reward. The rocking chair is free of clutter. Because of that, in just the past 2 weeks, sitting in that chair, I’ve conforted my son after a fall and rocked him to sleep once, received a secret from my daughter and prepared the clean-up of her room with her. I sit in the chair regularly and just relax for a few minutes, what a difference that makes!
We concentrated on positive talk and on the reward. Now with the help of advice #4, I’ll tackle finding a new career for myself.
October 1, 2012 at 11:57 am
I went back to school for a 9-month certificate program to upgrade and enhance my skills, so that I can move out of a job I’m no longer happy in, and into something that works better for me. One month in and I can honestly say I’m enjoying every minute of learning something new (and not being somewhere that makes me unhappy)!
October 1, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Funny, but my first thought when I read the title of today’s posting was change, like spare change. Or how I could make my life better by saving change. Gail has gotten into my head..
October 1, 2012 at 4:34 pm
This is totally unrelated to today’s post, but I had to share this here today… Today, I made my final payment towards my student loan. I graduated University in 2004, so you can see it has been lingering for a very long time. We aren’t totally out of debt right now, but we have under $5000 left to pay (It was over $36,000 at it’s worst). In the past year we have paid off over $15,000. I will post again when we make the final payment on our consumer debt. After that, it will be our mortgage that we tackle next. Thank you Gail. You made this possible!!
October 1, 2012 at 7:29 pm
@Anne: That’s one of the nicest stories I’ve read in the comments here!
October 1, 2012 at 7:52 pm
@ Jodie – great job!
October 2, 2012 at 11:03 am
Way to go Jodie!!
October 2, 2012 at 4:58 pm
I was so busy with my life – getting married, having a baby, ect. that by the time my life stopped spinning, I hadn’t noticed how unhappy I was with my job. I dusted off my resume and got to work applying for new jobs! A shake up should hit the spot!
Recognizing the reason you are unhappy is the hardest thing to do.
October 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Thanks for the message Gail!
We have just started paying off our debt. We are blogging about it at passingthroughdebt.blogspot.com. We would love for you to check it out.
Setting milestones for reach a goal is a great idea. That is something I am going to think about because paying off debt is a grueling process thus far. It is hard to keep the motivation and give up some everyday things like eating out. However, it is important to focus on the future more than the now. Paying off debt will allow us to do that!
October 5, 2012 at 2:10 am
Great job Jodie!
And thx Gail- great post. Perfect timing for me.
October 9, 2012 at 6:49 am
Hi Gail! Delighted to hear that you’re working on a new show!
I have a share for ya: I loved this talk about willpower by Kelly McGonigal – she discusses the latest research and gives really practical tips on how to build more willpower. Thought you might enjoy.
Cheers!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BXuZL1HAg