Someday Syndrome
Posted by John Draper | Filed under Life Lessons
Have you promised to start saving just as soon as you’re making more money? Are you determined to get your debt paid off, right after your next vacation? Are you planning on making a Will sometime soon? Sounds to me like you’re suffering from Someday Syndrome.
No doubt the reason you keep making commitments is because you know these are things you should be doing. You’re smart enough to realize that what you’re doing now isn’t really working for ya. You’re not disciplined enough to actually do what you should, so you use any excuse you can come up with as a reason to defer.
You should be more organized. You should make a list of your bills and keep track of them, so you don’t make your payments late. You should save for what you want to buy instead of plunking more on your credit cards. You should, you should, you should.
Y’know, if anyone else disappointed you as much as you disappoint yourself, they’d probably be dust on your shoes. So why do you settle for second best from yourself?
How can you live with all that disappointment? Do you look yourself in the mirror and say, “You should…” And then, when you don’t, do you beat yourself up, call yourself names, feel defeated.
Stop. Right now. Stop being mean to yourself. Exchange retribution, guilt and disappointment for the simple act of doing something differently to make a change. Take action. Move forward. Not because you “should”, but because when you do, you will feel happier.
When I started in sales many, many years ago, I had to make cold calls. That’s when you’d call up some stranger and try and get their agreement to meet with you so you could sell them something. I hated making cold calls. I hated making cold calls so much that every morning for a year I would toss my cookies before I went to work.
I set myself the goal of making 25 cold calls a day. And I did it. Over time, it got easier to make the calls. Having been rejected 2,878 times, the next rejection rolled off me like water off a duck’s back. And when a body said “yes” to a meeting, I was elated.
I became pretty successful at selling. I learned to handle the objections shot my way deftly and with grace. I learned to take rejection in stride. But mostly, I learned to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. I didn’t stop until I’d make those 25 calls each day. And I became happier and happier in sales as I realized just what I could accomplish.
Right now, write down the one thing you are going to do TODAY to take action. Exchange Someday Syndrome for Get It Done.
Remember that soppy saying from the Sixties: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”… IT IS! Today is the day you exchange Someday Syndrome for something you can be proud of, something that will make you happy.
So, what’s it gonna be?
December 15, 2008 at 9:30 am
I will call a lawyer to book an appointment to make our wills today. It is something that I have brought up with my husband on many an occasion, but we both cannot agree on who would have the children if something happened to us. Money is tight, does anyone the approximate cost if we need to change the guardians if we need to?
December 15, 2008 at 10:17 am
To the previous poster….my husband and I had wills drawn up when our first child was born. It cost us around $ 450.00 for both wills. Our wills were a little more complicated as I have stipulations in there about contact with my kids from various family members. As well, we have two trustees (one from each side of our families) to ensure that the kids get access to both families.
As for the rest of the post. For a LONG time I made excuses about the savings account. Finally, I got on the ball with an ING direct account and have transferred $75.00 automatically every week. I started with 10 dollars a week, and just kept adjusting the budget. Things are tight, between that and debt pay down, but it is a necessity. Period.
I feel really good having that money in the bank. I also have to resist the temptation to take that money to re-pay debt. I figure, we got into this one charge at a time, then we’ll get out the slow way too.
December 15, 2008 at 10:44 am
Great post! And it’s so true. Changing your habits, or your way of life is never easy. Setting small obtainable goals, and actually accomplishing them will give you such a rewarding feeling!
December 15, 2008 at 10:51 am
Procrastinator – when you meet with the lawyer, let him/her know that there is a chance that you may be changing the guardians again soon. Ask him/her how much it will cost to make that change. I’d bet that they may do it for very little since it will be a simple word change and re-signing from their end. Of course, if you and your husband have a very concentrated discussion about it tonight perhaps you can come to a decision once and for all
Good luck!
December 15, 2008 at 11:44 am
Gail:
I was so glad to see your “Someday Syndrome” post today. Well my someday syndrome just happened last night. We received your 09 Planner on Friday. By they way, great work. I’ve wanted always to have a budget, and we finally got it done with my wife, together (with no screaming or fighting, I might add). We both are in agreement of what the budget includes. I tell you Gail… we had such a blast deciding on how much to spend on each category, and we set up specific goals for 2009. For the first time in my life, we will have savings and our debt will decrease significantly. I’ve calculated that for 2009 we will have about $1200 EF saved plus $3000 in Savings, and our debt would have been reduced by about $ 12,000. We definetly want to have it paid off ASAP. Our credit cards are at CERO, so 2009 starts very clean for us. The majority of our debt is on a HELOC at 3.75%, so we are going to pay it off agressibly. My wife will be handling the Jar’s…. We will be doing groceries on Sunday’s after church (this way we use the car less often)… More outtings at the park once spring time comes, instead of going to the mall… more time spent with family and friends by doing the bring a drink and a platter and let’s share….
Quick question:
If our debt repayment % is more than 15%, but it balances with less % for transportation and less % for life expenditures…. is still OK with you? We balanced the budget right to the penny and our big priority is to have our HELOC paid down agressibly.
December 15, 2008 at 11:49 am
Emiliano, you can see what Gail says but my guess is she will tell you it’s a guideline. If your expenses are less, then you can increase your % of debt repayment – as long as the % you have allocated is still livable. That is, are the numbers you’ve allocated for transportation and life expenditures reasonable and practical for the long term – if it is not practical than you will probably fail and feel disheartened about it. but if it is a budget that works for you and you know you can live on it, than by all means do, and pay down the debt faster! sounds like you are the right track! good luck for 2009!
December 15, 2008 at 12:41 pm
This post is so much speaking to me! LOL
Right now our plan is to seriously start paying down our debt. When we come back from our February vacation to Florida.
The last 2 years have been a blur of mat leave and than big daycare costs. Now that the infant daycare years are ending there is no more excuses.
December 15, 2008 at 12:59 pm
It’s like you just held a very cold, cruel mirror up to my face! (in a good way)….
Someday Syndrome is a mean one, but I do go through moments of courage where I tackle the unpleasant things head-on. The will is done, the RRSPs are regularly contributed to, the emergency fund is growing and the debt is under firm control… it’s my PERSONAL procrastination that is the kicker for me. Taking time to excercise, cleaning the dust bunnies from the corners of the house, streamlining my memorabilia crap, those are the things I put off indefinitely.
TODAY I will take a spin on the treadmill!
December 15, 2008 at 1:12 pm
RRSP Automatic Contributions – check!
Balanced budget – check!
Debt repayment schedule – check!
Wills – check!
Spending quality time with my family… not so much… I pledge to spend at least one hour with each member of my family doing something they enjoy.
December 15, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Thanks for another excellent post. It seems most of us are guilty of procrastinating including me. It easier to put things off to tomorrow, next week, next month and indefinately anything that might lead to a confrontation or argument. But I promise to start TODAY!
I received your TDDUP 2009 planner a couple of days ago(which I won thru’ a contest coz there was no room in the budget) and I hope(fingers crossed) that all my plans for debt repayment, EF etc. etc. will translate into reality.
Thanks for all the kicks in the butt thru the year and keep it coming.
Merry Christmas and all the best for 2009!
December 15, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Emiliano: As long as your bottom line balances, I’m okay with ramping up your debt repayment. In fact, I encourage it. I often push people to pay more off their debt to get rid of it as fast as possible. Once it’s repaid, you can reincorporate that money you’ve been putting to debt repayment into your cash flow for planned spending and for savings.
December 15, 2008 at 2:37 pm
That’s exactly what my wife and I did last Saturday. I’ve created a spreadsheet in January 2008 but it was updated until April. After that, I was not interested in any updates anymore. I know, this is wrong, but I procrastinated.
Now, that’s two of us taking care of our finances and with her help I’m sure we will succeed next year, as we’re entering the year without any debts at all.
Gail, as you said, the only way that you can pay off your debt is sometimes find a second job – that’s what I did. I am waking up 5.15am and coming back around 7pm. However, it is worth it! It really is.
December 15, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I am a terrible procrastinator, then once I get behind, I am scared to face what I put off…then I’m even worse off. Well, now I’m facing stuff as hard and stressful as it is, I was just wondering if you had any advice about budgeting with a small business…ugh. We have a budget at home that I implemented after watching your show, but I am finding it difficult to apply it to all aspects of my business. I am almost desparate!…
December 15, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Good wake up call today. For some of us, finances aren’t the only thing that get put off – I found another website the same time as this one. It’s called FlyLady.com, and she will help us procrastinators to get other aspects of our lives in order. Check it out. Still trying to find out if the TTDUP 2009 book is available somewhere in my town, as I don’t have a credit card to order online. Anyone know how else to get it??? Thanks.
December 15, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Suzanne, I think you can use PayPal as well, which doesn’t necessarily mean needing an account set up beforehand, but you do have the option to pay with a bank card. Don’t quote me though!
I agree with today’s message being especially enlightening. This weekend I set up all my savings accounts, as well as the TFSA. January 3rd will see automatic deposits into these accounts. I’ll still have debt, but at least with savings I’ll feel like I’m progressing towards something instead of feeling like I’m constantly just digging out to finally get above ground. Paying down debt hasn’t made me feel more secure, just more like a failure because I never seemed to have anything in savings that is a ‘feel good’ kinda thing. The bonus will be that if I save chunks that grow enough to strike out one of my debts, I’ll pay it off in full and move on to saving all over again in that account all the while still paying down debt in little chunks again.
I have the debt and have to pay it back regardless, so whether I pour all my money towards it with nothing in emergency savings or if I split up some for savings and some for debt, the effect will appear different to me. So that’s the end to my financial procrastination. Seeing such large debt numbers is depressing, when there’s $0 in the savings pot. Time to change my perspective and feel like I’m doing something good for my well-being as well.
That’s my 2009 gift to myself…
December 15, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Sometimes the Someday Syndrome is good… it can keep people from quitting their jobs
Debt almost payed off, bad days at work, cold and dark in the morning, ooooh so tempting! 
December 15, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Michelle:
Time for a visual reminder of your accomplishments. Calculate your net worth (haves minus debts) every six months and you can see the big effect on your financial situation. A ‘debt thermometer’ is a positive reminder that your are better this months than your were last month!
December 15, 2008 at 6:18 pm
OK, so this isn’t today, but it is soon. We are going to start living on a budget in the New Year, and using the money we save to pay down our mortgage faster. We’re savers by nature and able to live within our means, but we know that with a little extra discipline we could do better.
I use the Someday Syndrome a lot. It’s really easy when you have two little kids, because there are a lot of things that I can’t really do right now. Like sleep in, or even just sleep. I keep telling myself that it will get better as they get older. That’s entirely true on the one hand, but I also know that I have to distinguish between recognizing a season in my life and making excuses.
December 15, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Great post today. I have many stesses that I avoid and need to tackle! This is a good kick in the bum and inspiring!
BTW, there is a book called ‘Feel the Fear and Do IT Anyway’ — I recommend it to anyone who feels held back by fears/avoidance. It would be in any local library since it’s quite well-known!
December 15, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Someday… as a champion procrastinator I have had years of some days. Although I still have my somedays, now I have two “this days”.
This day I will be financially solvent, technically anyway – 30 December 2008 (my credits will be more than my debts)
This day I will be debt free – 30 August 2009 (final loan payment day)
In the meantime I’m waiting for that someday when my prince will come… but I’m not holding my breath on that one!
December 15, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Thanks for this timely post. Just this weekend I finally decided I was going to scrapbook all the saved pictures from a few years ago that I’ve been putting off and I’m actually doing it!; going through all the kids crafts & stuff saved up..paring down pretty much everything in our house from books the kids really aren’t interested in, toys..everything in the house before Christmas hits. I’m doing it now, not just waiting for Christmas break.
It’s surprising how if you put off a few tasks here and there you eventually see you’ve got too much stuff taking up space. Someday Syndrome no more. 2009 I’m seriously focusing on the money-savings increasing and debt decreasing–and this will be much clearer if it’s minus clutter. Clutter in the house makes clutter in the mind.
Thanks again Gail! You inspire!
~One tip for people too attached to the crafts & pictures the kids have made is to group them together and take a picture. Of course, you frame and keep some..but the rest is easier to let go of. You can still see their artwork but you don’t have the clutter-just a few pictures : ).
December 16, 2008 at 9:17 am
We have the basics, RRSPs, wills, power of attorneys… planned saving/budget has been harder with the new house and now the holidays (although we kept to our budget for gifts!)…
From my pay and my spouses pay we need to set up a deduction for planned saving to build up that 3-6 month salary cushion (the down payment on the house eroded that quite a bit!) and the planned spending for the home repairs. We also need to sit down and plan out what exactly we will be doing in the next year since we can’t afford to do landscaping, deck, hardwood floors, furniture and trip south in one year – we need to prioritize.
So my somedays are two-fold. We will set up accounts and start automatic deductions for emergency fund and automatic deductions for planned spending on the house and the trip (plus deciding once and for all which items are the goals for this year).
On personal levels, my other someday is taking care of myself by working out and eating well – I have made great progress this year but I want 2009 to be the year that it becomes an ingrained habit versus a struggle.
December 16, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Kathy Says:
“Right now our plan is to seriously start paying down our debt. When we come back from our February vacation to Florida.”
—–
Why in the world would you take a vacation to Florida when you are in debt?
December 26, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The jars!
I received the TTDUP 09 book this week for Christmas, and I have read the entire thing. I have been trying to get my husband on board to do the jars for months now but it was a no go, always some excuse! Well now there can’t and won’t be an excuse.
Today we got paid, so today the money will be withdrawn to fill our jars for the next two weeks.
We live on very very limited income- so its difficult sometimes to prioritize, especially when it seems as though everyone in the world is better off, and everyone owns that newest coolest thing/game/clothes etc. When you live in low income, money is down right depressing. But! We are going to take CONTROL back and live with what we have and damn well like it!