Don’t Confuse “Simple” with “Easy”
Posted by John Draper | Filed under Life Lessons, Money Management
We’re so used to combing the words “Simple” and “Easy” that sometimes we think they mean the same thing. A Mac is simple and easy to use. Opening a new ING account is simple and easy. Shopping at Staples is simple and easy. See what I mean?
When it comes to getting your money management cleaned up, the rules are Simple. What you have to do is straightforward. But let me tell you boys and girls, there’s nothing Easy about it.
While experts want you to believe that you can clean up your money mess in Seven Simple and Easy Steps, executing those Seven Steps is The Big Test. When push comes to shove, it isn’t about knowing the steps, it’s about taking the steps. And that’s where the whole ball of wax can melt into an unmitigated mess.
“Living below our means” is not a difficult concept to understand. So why are there so many people who aren’t doing it? Why are there people who buy whatever they want whenever they want, without a thought for how they’ll pay for it?
It’s simple. (Drumroll please.) It is TOO easy to spend money we don’t have when we have access to credit, and so it is so HARD to control our spending when we have no limits. We know we shouldn’t, but we do. And that makes “living below our means” seem like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro with a yak on our backs.
We have become so used to satisfying our every whim, that we have regressed in our development (or not grown up at all), acting like little kids in a candy store every time we see something we desire. New TV? Yeah, I’ll take it. Never mind that I already have two perfectly good TVs at home. New car? Yeah, I’ll take it. Never mind that I’m being asked to pay a whopping amount of interest. New shoes? Sure, I’ll take ‘em. After all, they’re just $30, and who can pass up a deal like that?
The idea of spending less than you make isn’t rocket science, but it’s also not easy. It requires a commitment to living within your means. It demands that you prioritize saving. And it involves living on a budget and having the discipline to stay the course long term. Living within your means most of the time isn’t good enough. It’s an All Or Nothing Affair. And that can be a hard nut to swallow.
I recently gave a couple of chicks I was working with a nifty wallet that had an insert (like in the talking birthday cards) with my voice. Every time they opened the wallets they heard, “Nope, no way, you can’t afford it” or “Do you have the money to pay for that?” They got a good laugh out of it, and so did the people to whom they had to explain why they had talking wallets. One woman’s wallet went off during a course she was taking, and her instructor said she wanted a wallet just like it.
Of those of us who want to be better at managing our money, some of us have the internal fortitude to “Just Say NO”, while others need more help. And that’s why doing it with a Money Mate can make the difference between succeeding and slipping back into bad habits.
I’m one of your Money Mates. People write me all the time to say how much strength they draw from my blog. But you may need more than just lil’ ol’ me to keep you on track. Your “talking wallet” might be your best friend, your sister, or your mom. For just as people can talk us into doing dumb things, so too can they help us stay true to what we want to achieve.
Once you acknowledge that taking control of your money is Simple, but NOT Easy, you can arm yourself with the people you need to help keep you true to your new course. Find a Money Mate who loves you enough to help you. You have to love this person equally as much to be willing to let him/her guide you out of harm’s way. You should be able to laugh together at your moments of weakness – because there will be plenty. And you should remember to say, “thank you” regularly to your Money Mate, because they’ve taken on a really, really, really HARD job.
Many people say they wish things were different in their lives. Many people want to make a change. But wishin’ and wantin’ won’t cut the mustard. If you are truly committed to making your money work for you, then you’ll find the strength to do the Simple but Hard stuff that’ll make you successful.
November 27, 2008 at 6:59 am
I find the following 3 questions help me to filter out what to buy and what not to buy:
1. Do I want it?
2. Do I need it?
3. Will I actually use it?
The answer has to be ‘yes’ to all 3 questions. Then I usually ask myself – is this the best price I can get for it? This sort of questioning also helps me to choose whether or not to get rid of stuff that has been sitting around for years.
November 27, 2008 at 8:51 am
I think you need to market those magic talking Gail wallets. I think there could be a big market for that idea
November 27, 2008 at 9:03 am
Yes, Gail…where can one get one of the magic wallets?? This is my first post to you, although I’ve “lurked” for months. Yours is one of the first sites I visit every day because I know that there will always be sane, sensible information.
November 27, 2008 at 9:52 am
Great post Gail! Yes, you should market those wallets. I know a few people who I would buy it for!
I’m a Money Mate to my husband. I have always been the saver, and my husband, the spender. He came into our relationship with store cards with balances, high student loans, and no concept of how to save. He has learned a lot in our 10 years together, and is now good at stopping and thinking about purchases beforehand now. Although, I’m still there when he has a great idea of something to buy, to talk to him and ask, “Do we really need it?, Where will we put it?, Is is a need or a want?” It’s a slow process to deal with someone who has always just bought it and worried about it later. But we are doing well working as a team – through the good times and bad. Thanks, Gail for being one of my Money Mates!
November 27, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I love the distinction between simple and easy. I make this distinction with my patients all the time. It’s the same idea with changing almost any behaviour, espcecially the “impulse control” behaviours-losing weight, managing anger, etc. In very basic terms, it is similarly simple to lose weight, but as many of us know, it sure ain’t easy. Thanks for drawing that line for money management.
I also love the idea of a money mate-in my practice I call this an “accountability partner” but its the same idea. Find some back up! It’s a hard position, but a worthwhile one to fill. As always, an inspiring blog! (If I could only get my husband to read it… sigh… I think I’ll be his Money Mate forever, even if he doesn’t realize it!)
November 27, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I need some hardcore training in being a good Money Mate I think. My husband doesn’t like to wait to purchase anything, and I’m finding with the doom and gloom of the economy, it hasn’t seemed to slow him down a bit. I panic because I know what my bills are, but can’t seem to get them down because I end up conceding to expenses that invariably I ’should’ help pay for. Lately I’ve resorted to just acting disinterested or generally saying “Hmm, oh really, and where would be put that new-fangled gadget, never mind how YOU plan to pay for it, cause you’ve got me tapped out” or something to that effect. I’m a slight deterent, but not a strong enough one to get him to see the light of his consumerism.
I’m feeling frustrated, but haven’t yet sat down with the actual budget numbers we (or rather I) have to crunch out every month. Time for a sit-down in January, once the house is back in order I think. For now I’m keeping up with bill payments, but have yet to start living on cash as I’m a month behind with groceries, gas, etc. Put it on the card, pay it of the first of the following month, never get enough set aside to start from cash the next day. It’s a vicious cycle that I’d love to know how people get around!
November 27, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I get that it’s not “simple and easy” for some people, but I honestly don’t find it tough at all. My main hobby is writing, which is pretty much the cheapest entertainment ever. Pen + paper = good to go. If you want to get all fancy, you need a computer and an internet connection to mail your crap to friends for feedback. That takes up most of my downtime from work. The only tough time is Christmas, but I’ve saved up for it this year.
November 27, 2008 at 3:05 pm
M> Perhaps at the end of the month you just call the stuff you charged debt and start fresh with the new month. Then you set the budget, use your cash, track your cash and pay off your debts (including this “new” debt from the previous month’s groveries, gas, etc).
November 27, 2008 at 4:21 pm
It amazes me how you come up with new and interesting posts every day on the same topic. I hope you never run out of ideas because I love getting the reinforcement every single day. This blog has been a great way of keeping on track as I now read several personal finance blogs per day to keep my new good habits fresh and fun.
As for the talking wallets… brilliant! But I already hear your voice whenever I open mine so I don’t need one personally.
November 27, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Quick, patent the talking wallet and start selling them. I bet you’d do very very well.
November 27, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Like Brenda and Psychsarah I am my partner’s Money Mate! He so loves to spend. Slowly I am getting him to “see my way” actually it’s Gail’s way!
We’ve always had my paycheque in my acct and his in his. He’s been a slow reformer in letting me “take care” of his payments, his vehicle insurance, etc. But only after he was driving without insurance for 6 weeks. Thank goodness nothing happened. He missed his renewal, how does that happen? It won’t again, because I have taken over that dept.
I’ve been trying to get him to sit and watch Gail’s show with me, but no luck there yet. BUT, I have been able to get him to read a few of Gail’s blogs and I think I actually am starting to see a light flickering in there!
So…our plan is finally to combine our income and have one budget, instead of mine and his, but not till January. At least I’ve got him to commit to a date, I can’t wait!
I have all my credit cards paid off, working on my small LOC and that’s it, well except for mortgage and that’s only at $60,000. Now we’re working on paying off HIS consumer debt which is approx $18,000.
He says that I have “wrecked it” for him, that he can’t spend money like he use to! YAHOO! It certainly has not been SIMPLE or EASY. I have been persistant and finally seeing the pay off.
I’ve managed to save for all our annual big expenses, taxes, insurance etc…it’s all there in savings, working on building our emerg fund, gifts etc. I’m so excited that I’ll be able to work off one budget rather than trying to juggle and make sense of two.
Thank goodness my daughter listened to me (after telling her the errors of my youth and the evil of credit) She has always “paid herself first”, has maxed out her RRSP’s (she’s only 21) and has never paid interest on a credit card balance. We’re so proud of her. And when she was living at home, she would sit and watch Gail’s show.
Gail….you do an incredible job. Please don’t ever stop, keep doing what you are doing. I like so many others, read your blog everyday.
November 27, 2008 at 6:48 pm
I have a form of the “talking wallet” and it is a very SIMPLE device!
There is a quality, little slip of paper wrapped around my cards… it says “ENOUGH” in a pretty script.
“Enough” is the trigger that works from me on so many levels; enough stuff in my house, enough purchases for the day, do I have enough extra money to spare, is there enough for retirement, simpy put enough is enough when it comes to consuming! It’s a strong word to me, and that’s enough to stop me from impulse buying.
November 28, 2008 at 11:15 am
Dorreen, I love your strategy, I think it’s great.
This post is so true. A lot of things in life are simple but not easy! Like dieting! Whether you’re on a diet to avoid food or debt, it’s not easy because it requires us to go against our basic insticts: avoid pain and persue pleasure. It takes not just willpower, but a change of lifestyle and overtime a change of habits to be able to resist these powerful human urges to give in to our momentary cravings, whether that craving is for chocolate or shoes.
November 29, 2008 at 11:28 am
My wallet is almost always empty. I use the envelope system (okay actually the envelopes are cans). On payday I take out my ‘allowance’ in cash and put the appropriate amount in each can. Then I buy 2 weeks of groceries, fill the car with two weeks worth of gas and buy any other things I may need in the two week period (ie prescription needs to be filled, haircut etc). Then I go around with an empty wallet. You can’t spend it if you don’t have it. People are shocked. Apparently they worry that some emergency is going to happen. Well I have a credit card with a $7K limit, the balance is zero, a line of credit with $18K worth of credit. So unless I need to rent a jet, I think I can handle any emergency. Trust me this is not hard.
November 30, 2008 at 9:54 am
Thank you for this post.
I am becoming more confident each day that I read this info. The power of reinforcement, I suppose. I did crunch the numbers. I did a form of budget–what threw me off I think is that so many of our accounts and bills are combined and your worksheet has those numbers separated or combined with other things.
A talking wallet would be cool! I think you could really sell those. I think I will take the person here’s advice and wrap a paper around my cards that says “Enough” or “Just Say No.” LOL. Course, I haven’t used my credit cards in nearly six months now, just my debit. But I keep them with me for an emergency.
Thank you again for the wonderful advice. I love your straightforward tone of voice and manner.
November 30, 2008 at 10:46 am
LOL re: renting a jet
November 30, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I realised on the weekend when I started packing my house up to move in a few weeks just how much “stuff” I have, and ask any of my friends and they will tell you how much I loathe shopping and buying things. I can only imagine how much superflous junk people that love to shop have around their houses!! No wonder everyone hates moving so much.
I have already gone through all my things and anything I haven’t used or worn for 12 months is either being sold or given away so all I will have to move is my furniture and clothes.
It is so freeing to start to have empty spaces in the cupboards and more money in the coffers. Lol.
Sassy.