Holiday Shopping Hints
Posted by John Draper | Filed under Budgets, Smart Shopper
Now that the kids are back in school, it seems our attention has turned to dealing with the upcoming holiday season. A lot of people have been writing to me to ask about how to plan for the holiday season without blowing their budgets or their minds. Ha! You needed to have had a plan at the beginning of the year to really do the holidays justice without making a mess of your spending plan. If you’re just starting to think about how you make it through with your sanity, you’ll need to get creative.
I often recommend that people set aside 1/12th of their Holiday Spending Plan starting in January. Since planning is the key to everything, knowing how much you’ll need to spend on everything from gifts to wrapping, food to wine, hostess gifts to decorations, postage to travel, cards to photos, makes the whole thing work.
I always start my holiday shopping well in advance of the rush… I started this weekend, as a matter of fact. I went to a store that was having a moving sale and got almost everything I bought at 30% off. I brought it home and stuck it in the bottom of my closet. I know exactly who will get what, how much it’ll be for each gift, and how much under budget I am.
If you don’t want to blow your brains out on gift-giving, pretend you’re Santa: make a list and check it twice. Who doesn’t need to be on there? To whom can you give a token gift to commemorate the season? How can you make your gift list fit within your budget? Secret Santa works at work, why not also amount a brood of siblings?
Once you have a list, jot down your gift ideas for each person on your list.
Routinely I ask my kids (I have four plus two spouses and a grand) for a list and then work to fill the list by comparison-shopping online before heading to the store.
Don’t self-gift while you’re shopping. The One-for-me-one-for-you approach to holiday shopping is just an excuse to be self-indulgent. According to an American Express survey, more than three-quarters of us buy something for ourselves while shopping for others.
If you’re a recent convert to the philosophy of only spending what you can afford to pay for, then you may have to take the drastic step of letting your peeps know that the largess of yesteryear simply isn’t possible anymore. You might find relatives and friends hugely relieved.
The very best gifts don’t have cost a penny, or very little. Offer up your time babysitting, cooking meals, house cleaning, massaging, sewing, knitting, transporting, or whatever else you’re good at. Clip a picture of the service you’ll provide and be clear on how often, as in “I’ll babysit one weekend a month from February to June.” Or better yet, make your own coupon book.
Unless you’re very good about paying your credit-card balances off in full every month, shop with cash this holiday season. Why? Because if you take a card, you’ll think you can spend more and then you’ll get stuck paying the minimum. At 18% interest, for example, $500 in holiday spending would take seven years to pay off and cost $365 in interest. Ouch! According to credit counselors, nearly 1/3 of us are still paying off the bills we racked up last year.
Before tossing anything into your shopping cart ask yourself why you are buying it. Are you just fulfilling your duty to give a gift? Are you showing off? Are you trying to keep up? Or are you giving something you can afford that your friend, sister, son or partner will truly enjoy receiving?
Your mom, dad or BFF aren’t going to be happier that you put yourself in financial stress rather than giving them something that might be slightly less and within your means, if they really love you. If they are judging you on your pressie, then they don’t really love you and you shouldn’t be buying them ANYTHING.
Make sure you get gift receipts for anything that may not fit and include them with the present. Routinely people accept gifts gracefully because they are good people, only to be stuck with something they’d never wear, never use, never regift. What a waste. Loads of people say, “if you need the gift receipt, I have one”, but the gift recipient may feel it is rude to ask for it. Avoid the potential yuck and just include it in the present.
I know a lot of people like to use gift cards to make the holiday season easier to manage. I’m not a fan of gift cards since you’re translating real money into retail dollars you can only spend in one place. (Blog to follow.) But if it works for you, just make sure you choose a reputable retailer.
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September 15, 2008 at 11:15 am
We have tons of kids on my side of the family, so several years ago my siblings and I all agreed that only nieces and nephews would get presents (none for the adults). My inlaws can buy anything they want or need, so several years ago all of my husband’s siblings started pooling their money and ideas – so we all chip in an amount per person (two are still single, so we go by person instead of couple to make it fair) and then we brainstorm a single gift. My inlaws love it – no more getting stuck with a bunch of little presents they’d never use but wouldn’t throw out because the kids gave it to them!
The other thing we do is something I read about several years ago – about a woman who decided that enough was enough with over the top holiday spending and started giving her kids a book, a toy, and a piece of clothing for Christmas (and a stocking). So now this is what we do – it’s so much fun! It makes it fun to shop, plus now we’ve started a game on Christmas morning to try and guess what category something is (is the tiny MP3 player that you clip onto a shirt something you wear, a toy or something you read because it came with a manual?).We really enjoy it and are now buying presents for our son the same way!
September 15, 2008 at 12:11 pm
some food for thought…http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/
over the years my christmas list had grown by leaps and bounds. i couldn’t keep up with everyone on it. slowly i started eliminating people. it sounds awful, but needs to be done.
i’ve stopped exchanging gifts with my friends now. it was getting silly. we were basically all exchanging 20 dollar gift cards. now, we just get together around christmas time and go out for supper or have a little party at home and spend time together.
i’ve stopped exchanging gifts with my grown cousins. we’re all grown up now…now we have to buy for each others kids! it was too much!
i make a real effor to make handmade gifts for presents. i stay away from plasticy consumerist stuff. if i do buy an item, i’ve been known to buy the item used (ie. books & toys)
i also save up my air miles and redeem them for gifts. gift cards for chapters, the keg, gas gift certificates, movie gift certificates. i like doing that too! & my other family members have caught on and are doing it too, so now i get the cool stuff too.
September 15, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I budget 1/12 of Christmas costs each month and transfer it to a separate bank account so it doesn’t come as a shock in December.
On my side of the family the kids under 16 draw names and exchange gifts, the adults no longer do. It just got to crazy even though we had set a $ limit. Husbands side of the family is a different story. For them the more the better and it better be expensive. Crazy! We refuse to play that game but it makes for unneccessary stress and bad feelings. Not what the holidays are suppose to be about!
For our son we get him one main thing he’s asked for (as long as it’s reasonable), a few smaller things, a book or two and clothes if he needs them.
Hubby and I don’t buy gifts for each other but we buy something we both want. One year it was a digital camera, the next year we bought a photo printer. Works great for us, we brainstorm all year about what this years “toy” is going to be.
The three of us exhange stockings – but we set a $ limit and fill it with useful stuff and a few goodies. Hubby is already dropping hints- new chamois, tire pressure gauge, socks, rechargeble batteries etc.
Last year we did real well with the gift giving portion of the budget but the food, drink and incidentals cost more than I had budgeted for so my goal for this year is to do a better job of keeping those costs under control.
September 15, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Another good tip I have picked up over the years is to buy gift cards to use for my Christmas shopping. Every month I take the amount I have set aside for Christmas shopping & pick up a gift card for one of the stores where I know I will shop (book store, Wal-Mart, grocery store, etc.) I don’t give the cards as gifts, I use them to shop for gifts. It stops me from shopping mall impulse buys because I am only shopping at the limited list of stores, and I know exactly how much $$$ I have to spend.
September 15, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I love Christmas as well as the next person. However I don’t want to go into debt to prove it. I set a budget and stick to it. I include postage and baking and extra food expenses.
I also bake homemade cookies for people who I want to remember at Christmas time. They are always appreciated and it shows I am thinking about them which to me is the whole idea behind gift giving. In my mind it is not how much a gift costs or the size of the gift that counts, it is the thought behind it.
September 15, 2008 at 4:24 pm
How do you all deal with those who don’t appreciate that you have your own budget? Last year I dealt with a snippy someone who was put out that I was trying to buy her son a gift that fit MY budget, not hers. I didn’t know how to react…and ended up boosting my expenses to match hers.
September 15, 2008 at 4:36 pm
KellyAnne – We take it one step further and redeem AirMiles and other points programs for gift certificates to stores we will buy people’s presents at… Then you are limited to that store, and not as much cash comes out of your Christmas budget!
September 15, 2008 at 7:14 pm
we have convert all family sides to a draw which is awesome! hubby and i sack some cash for a trip instead of a present and our little one is.. well.. little, so it’s not a big issue for her. although the trouble i noticed is that when you have a kid, all of the sudden people come out of the wood work with gifts for the kids! so anyone got an idea for the person who gives your kid a gift? i think this year i’ll do up a couple baskets (for surprise gifts) of a xmas craft and baking, something little and from my daughter.
but all in all, we’d be happier if no one got us nothing but a nice visit! anyone else find this?
September 15, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Great post. I lived in a poor Southeast Asian country three Christmases ago and promised myself when I returned that I’d do everything I could to simplify and enjoy the true meaning of the holidays, instead of fall prey to the empty consumerism and overconsumption that has made me feel so grumpy and stressed some years.
I’d highly recommend the site buynothingchristmas[dot]org – from our wonderful mennonite friends. Under ‘alternatives’ there are ~60 wonderful buy nothing gift ideas.
Last year I gave all of my coworkers a brown lunchbag half full of blackstrap birdseed with a little written piece about chickadees, how they struggle to survive in the winter, and how they can be fed by hand. A few coworkers told me that over the holidays they went on a family walk and their kids did indeed handfeed some beautiful little whitecaps
This year my mom and I canned 100 bottles of dill pickles and we’ll be handing those out. A small gesture, but one that we put thought and energy into.
Some other gift ideas:
-give experiences rather than stuff (e.g. theatre tickets, museum pass, membership to a club or organization)
-take the top half off of the christmas cards you received last year and re-use as christmas post-cards.. people love receiving these!
-give donations to charity – worldvision and oxfam have awesome christmas catalogues.. many charities will send a card to the person advising them of your generous gift.
@Heather – maybe instead of making it a budget thing, make it a consumer thing. Let that snippy someone know early that you’re doing simple presents because Christmas is about people and joy and not about stuff. If she doesn’t like it, that’s okay. Don’t worry, the first Christmas can be slightly tough but once you do it the first time, you’re set for future years. Good luck!!
September 15, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Heather – that snippy someone has a problem – don’t make it yours. Focus on the kindness to her child. (BTW – I also like Julie’s response above).
Also – here are some gifts that my ‘handmade’ mother-in-law, who’s on a pensioner’s budget, makes: ingredients in a jar with attached recipes (soups, cookies, etc.); homemade truffles; homemade hand creams/facial mud.
BTW – my background is Jewish and I married a Christian. So I ‘got into’ Christmas. I limit my gifts for kids to $25. and my one gift to my hubby to $50. I once decoupage digital faces of my extended family to Russian dolls (the type where there is a doll in a doll) and painted on the body with acrylic paints. Stores like Lewiscraft sell unpainted dolls. Be sure to print the photos of people’s faces on regular paper, then cut radial lines around the face (like the rays of a sun). Use white glue to attach to the doll’s face. Then paint on a body. Family members laughed and loved this.
Another fun idea is to give ‘kits’. e.g. for a friend turning 50 you can make a ‘You’re not old yet’ kit filled with condoms, Grecian formula X, hemorrhoid cream, etc. Or a family that’s expecting a baby you can make them a survival kit, e.g. ear plugs, condoms, a small mickey of scotch (optional), etc.
September 15, 2008 at 11:58 pm
For those out there not wanting to get caught up in the consumer crush at Christmas, I suggest two things that have worked nicely for me:
1) give magazine subscriptions–they are of infinite variety and usually are 25 bucks or so…and the giftee will remember you each month! How many of us would love a subscription to something but would never “indulge” in it ourselves?
2) Look at websites like kiva.org–they have some really interesting microcredit ideas that actually DO something. If we all take our Christmas budget ($250? $500? $1000???) and even donate HALF to a cause like kiva, think of what GOOD we could be doing; someone can start their own business with the amount we spend on one Christmas (doesn’t THAT put things into perspective??). And the bonus: when the person pays back the loan, it goes right back into loans for some other deserving plan. Then, make a pretty homemade card and maybe a gingerbread man with a note explaining what you have done on your giftee’s behalf. Warm fuzzies all around.
Our gang has for years had a “Christmas after Christmas” get together. The date is usually just near New Years, and the rules are simple: commit to going, bring something yummy, give big hugs all around, and NO presents!!!! We are all so busy raising our families, we don’t spend the time we’d like with each other. So, after we’ve had a couple of days to recover from the rush, we put on our stretchy pants and meet up at someone’s house to pig out on great food. Usually, we play a board game like pictionary–which becomes a regular laugh riot after a couple of beers or glasses of wine—and simply enjoy our friendship the way it is meant to be.
Peace this season to all of you.
September 16, 2008 at 8:41 am
I start buying in January! I have a list of the things people like, house themes,hobbies, that kind of thing. I then get an idea of what to get them for Christmas and shop through the year as things go on sale. Last year DH got tools for Christmas and the Fathers day sale was great for that! My mother in law loves her garden but it is difficult to buy any of that stuff in the winter so it gets bought in the summer and put away.
This year my daughter had been asking to renovate her room so I think for Christmas this year she will be getting curtains, comforters, gift cards for paint, all things she can use to decorate.
We have stockings that I fill with “silly” items. Christmas themed pens, pins, notepads from the dollar store, candies, stratch and win tickets.
September 16, 2008 at 11:57 am
Heather:
I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with someone like that. Give yourself the gift of financial stability and give only what is right for you to give. If she doesn’t get it, you get it. It is VERY relieving to free yourself from someone else’s values when they do not match yours. Best of luck!
September 16, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I try to purchase year round. Everyone gets a gift that fits within my buget. My sister (and her husband) and I go in together so we can get something nice without over spending. I went on a trip to Europe this summer and bought about half of my gifts. I often make gifts which makes them more special but not necessarily cheaper. Last year I converted all of my grandmother’s records to CDs. I even scanned the front and back of the record sleave for the CD cover. I gave one set to each household, everybody loved them! They sound just like the records including all of the pops and crackles. I don’t do gift cards unless it is part of a larger gift. For me it has always been about the thought that went into the gift. Many of the gifts my parents got us when we were kids were actually things they would need to buy us anyway (think clothes). We usually got one really nice “big” gift from santa. We do stockings and those are all items that you need anyway (underware, goggles, swim caps, ponytail holders, etc) plus a pair of ear rings. On year when money was tight all family got was baked goods. The holidays have always been about family. There is one charity that I give to every christmas thanks to an alternative giving fair that one of my former churches puts on every year.
September 16, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Another thought. Support local artisans.
I personally make handmade bath and body products and sell these at craft markets. It’s also where I pick up some awesome and unique locally made crafts. So, if you aren’t artsy, its great to pass along something neat.
September 16, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Reading the comments here, I feel like I live on a different planet. My family always has an enormous Christmas; I’m an athiest, and I see Christmas as being Capitalism Day rather than anything religious, so I do my bit for the economy
And shopping before mid-November is a no-no for me – the frustrating wall-to-wall crush of humanity on a December weekend at the mall is part of the experience!
In one respect I’m doing what Gail advises, though – I’m saving part of my earnings every month toward Christmas spending in anticipation. This will be my first Christmas with a budget, albeit a generous one. And for the first time I am not going to send gifts to family members who I either a) haven’t seen in 10+ years and/or b) don’t like anyway.
September 17, 2008 at 8:54 am
Dinah, thanks for posting the buy nothing website. I spent some time on that last night and found some nice ideas. I really like the idea of making suet balls & pine cone bird feeders for gifts. My grandparents & parents are lucky to have lots of beautiful birds to enjoy in their yards. I think the feeders would be a nice addition to their gifts. Plus they are an inexpensive gift my son can help make them. I really want to instill the the idea of giving as something special from the heart, not from the wallet.
Jennifer, I always look forward to the annual craft shows in my area. The artisans create such beautiful items. One can certainly find a beautiful gift of quality that a recipient is sure to adore.
November 8, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Julie: Do you think you could post the bit about the chickadees that you included with the feed? I would really love to do the same. Thanks.
March 5, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Thanks so much everyone for all of the amazing ideas! It helps a lot. I’m, unfortunately, in the same boat as a few where my family expects all Christmas gifts to be expensive. If you spend a small amount then you are looked down upon, but I guess they’re going to get a bit of a surprise this year. I plan on donating to a good cause as most of my gifts to everyone and my children will make something special. We always make up Christmas boxes every year and it’s something that I’m very happy we do. How else can you teach children what the true meaning of Christmas is? Thanks again!!
March 5, 2009 at 11:38 pm
I’m from a family of nine kids and as were almost all adults, and it’s a growing extended family. I have a few siblings that always put a price onto the gift each Christmas too make themselves feel better… Or they will billy ack on what they get that’s not good anuf.. I’ve told my family not to give me any ornaments which we have anuf of [Mom got insulted since she's a ornament collector but when we got married and put the little amount we had together it seem to fill up all the empty spaces we had in the small, good size home we have] or give me any impractical crafts which I got alot of practical hobbies on the go that I enjoy or something I don’t need since. When I really really like it or I need it I’ll buy it.. I was going to be statisfied with what hubby will buy me since his the family that around me the most.. [ [I'm not to close to my family which at times I felt like the black sheep which have cooled since finally my younger sis got married]]
I’ve bought a few siblings a subscription one yr. and now they renew it themselves which they all enjoy… My younger sis is known of a cheap skate since she buy cheaps and impractical gifts that she wouldn’t like herself since half of us didn’t like our gifts from her. While my one of my older brother was known as the cheap skate over the yrs. but his improved over the years on his gift giving… Not in the dollar amount but the type of gift. I myself don’t buy for the six nieces and nephews [and growing numbers] since they get to many gifts to remember who gave them what.. So I give my married bro with kids a family gift which one year was a cookbook I bought for myself and bought for them and explained to the older ones that excepted a gift that from the book Mom and Dad will use and that way they will share family gift.
Last yr. I bought everyone a Catholic book to read for everybody that related to what their doing in their lives and learn something new. Since I actually put a budget for my side of the family and started the jars right before Christmas and stayed under budget..
When ever I see the siblings and if I remember I ask them how they are enjoying the book… I bought my parents a nice calender and gave them a expensive restaurant gift card from which hubby received for a Christmas gift and we usually use it for our Anniversary right after Christmas… [budget budget] I bought my grandparents a bottle of wine that they enjoy for the holiday and in the past I’ve made them a wine n cheese with fruit basket for them to enjoy. They give me the basket back and then next yr. I’ll make a another basket worth upto $50…
One of my sisters makes turtles [ which everyone loves] and peanut brittle[ that no body likes but gives to us any how] So nobody puts a price on it… My other sis made fruit jam in small jars for every body last yr.
My family will not play pick a name out the basket with a dollar amount.. Since some of us still buys everyone a gift that bothers half the siblings and it’s a huge argument.. [most of us hasn't yet grown up yet when we are all together] There is always one that doesn’t want to play for it’s own reasons. My sisters don’t like looking for a guy gift they rather buy a girl gift only.. So we scrap that idea again!
Next Christmas I’m doing the same thing and buying everyone a book since books can be under $15 or $20 each… All siblings have a Godchild so I only buy an article of clothing for our Godchildrens. I call the parents in months in advance and look for an article that the parents have suggested.. So it’s a bit of a surprise for them too…
While we give to my husband one Aunt some money since she’s on a tight income. My husband sis. with her large family gets a cheque to buy the kids gifts since we live to far away to visit with them.. His single bro. is always ready to beat his brother in getting a better gift then we give him but since I’ve been talking, blah,blah about money -budgets, budgets- and that we have cut back on how much ur spending on his gifts He also cut back… Husband wanted to buy another gift for him but no cash no money no credit
for the gift. We bought him a new on sale duvet which he needed for some years.. Wow! it so soft and cozy I wanted to keep it for ourselves but I was Christmas shopping only that store… I consider making the big meal for the day is a gift into itself since it’s the most work.. During the holiday we go and visit everyone to give out the gifts which is a gift also… 
My policy to my family is if u buy me or hubby a gift for Christmas or our birthdays.. We will remember on yours … We’re known to give out really good gifts in the family
May 18, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Thanks for taking the time to write. Im always reading something new. Best regards,http://www.aboutdogtraining.info
June 14, 2010 at 2:56 am
I’m in the same boat as most of you; one side of my family refuses to exchange names and since our family is small, we buy for EVERYONE (great uncles, etc) and it’s getting out of control with births of young children; the other side agreed on exchanging names but only a few people participated, so we only saved from buying for one person :/
I’ve always been very budget concious-here’s how I’ve gotten buy on a small budget throughout the years:
I recycle gift bags and Christmas cards become tags, I buy throughout the year when I find items on sale that I know they can use, after Christmas decor sales become presents for next year for unexpected gift givers, I buy gift cards to eat when they have deals and the free card I use to take my hubby out, I make food and buy cute or durable storage containers which is also a gift, and while I was single it was hard to buy for a family of four when I would receive 1 gift even though I was working part-time and in college and made far less-so I started buying family gifts (movies w/candy and popcorn or board games).
New things I am doing: At the end of Christmas last year I bought Christmas mugs on sale and this year my children will give them as gifts with a box of hot chocolate and marshmellows, also we tell our children that Santa brings one toy and fills the stocking for each child, that way they can appreciate the gifts they receive from their family members and will be able to understand when we have financial problems of why they didn’t receive much or why children who are good don’t receive as much as others (the rest of the presents are from their parents/family).
For Easter, we save our eggs and basket and let them set them out for the Easter Bunny, he comes and fills/hides the eggs and fills the basket (also reusing is good for the environment), I am trying to get my family to quit hiding money in the eggs because they like finding candy and cheap toys just as well and don’t fight over who found more money.