Clothes Horse? NOT!
Posted by John Draper | Filed under Life Lessons, Take Control
Despite the way I dress on TV, I’m not a clothes horse, and some people’s obsession with handbags, shoes, shirts, skirts, blouses, jackets, watches… well, I could go on forever… seems weird to me. I’ve been in homes where there are hundreds of pairs of shoes, dozens and dozens of pairs of jeans, and cupboards and drawers full of clothes, along with loads of debt. I scratch my head. What drives us to collect all this STUFF when a) we’re in debt and b) we just can’t afford it?
According to the Stats Man, in 2002 Canadians spent $21.5 billion dollars on clothing and accessories. Women’s clothing made up about half of that spending, men’s made up about 29% and the rest was on kids’ clothing.
So, just how many pairs of shoes can we wear? Do you really need 40 T-shirts? And how can a handbag priced at $600 ever be a good idea, particularly if you’ve got ANY debt?
Clothing, it seems, has a lot to do with how we see ourselves and others. Many people use clothing as an opportunity to express themselves, and just as many use it as a means of judging others. If you’ve caught yourself looking at some fatty walking along in a too-tight t-shirt and cringing, or wondering why that woman would pair that lovely plaid skirt with that horrible polka-dotted ruffled blouse, you’re guilty.
Men and women are so weird about their clothing obsessions that they actually lie to each other about what they’ve paid. Sometimes they lie UP to impress. Sometimes they lie DOWN to appease. But the very fact that you feel you have to lie about what you spent on an item should indicate how twisted this all is.
I’ve listened and watched people almost get into battles over the question of whether to by cheap-and-often or quality-that-lasts. People get all uppity about their brands. And there are dopes who believe that dropping $400 on a pair of shoes, handbag, new jacket, is something they HAVE to do. There are people who’ve told me they HAD to buy it because they were “saving so much.” And there are people who, despite having several versions of an item already, have to acquire the next one anyway.
Now that the prices of food and gas are going through the stratosphere, it’ll be interesting to see if people are willing to cut back on their STUFF so they can keep eating. I’m not willing to take a bet on it since this aberrant shopping behaviour is totally unpredictable.
If you find that you’re guilty of having too much stuff, but you just don’t know where to start, it may be time to take inventory and make some choices. After all, you can’t possibly wear it all, and there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing.”
Empty your drawers, putting everything on your bed in a pile. If you have seasonal clothes, separate the seasons, and put the clothes you’re not wearing this season aside.
Of this season’s clothes, choose those you really love and actually wear on a regular basis.
If you have special occasion clothes, pick out the ones that are your favs.
Put the clothes you love back in your drawers leaving space around the clothes so you can get them out easily. If you’re stuffing your drawers, you still have too much stuff.
Now, do the same thing with your off-season clothes, putting the ones you’re planning to keep in a bin for the swap-over, and setting aside the stuff that’s just accumulated that you NEVER wear.
Ditto handbags, shoes, jewelry, hats, scarves, undies, PJs, and whatever else you’re hoarding. And, of course, there are all the clothes hanging in your closet. Yup. Them too.
You can do this exercise for your linen closet, your towels, your dishes, glasses, cups and mugs, DVDs, CDs, books.
Now, make yourself a promise that you’ll never impulse buy anything again. If there’s something you need, you’ll put it on a list. You’ll price it out, and write a target price beside it. Then you’ll buy it when you have the money to pay for it, and it has hit your target price. If you want to keep simplicity front and centre, add that you’ll get rid of something you no longer use every time your bring something new into your space.
As for what to do with the stuff you’re divesting: charities abound. If you have women’s and children’s clothes, consider your friends and family, then a women’s shelter. If it has value, sell it on Craig’s List. Put whatever you earn toward your debt. If you don’t have any – YEAH! – put it towards your next experiences.
It’s experiences that make us happy, not STUFF. Commit to having a great experience with a friend, your partner, your kids, and then give yourself something to look forward to that you can use to battle off the STUFF MONSTER the next time it rears its ugly mugg.
August 26, 2008 at 8:46 am
Great Post Gail! I do have alot of clothes in my closet however I have been lucky enough to recieve most of them as hand-me-downs or I have purchased them at Amity. My friends and I routinely go thru our closets and trade off between ourselves.
The other thing I do is if I have a wedding to go to I ask my friends to borrow a dress for the event…what is the sense of buying a new dress for one occasion. And I return the favour. I recently lent me friend clothes for a trip to Scotland….as I said my clothes have been on more vacations that I have!
Fashion doesn’t have to break the bank but I do have freinds who would rather go into debt than look around an Amity store.
August 26, 2008 at 8:49 am
Excellent!!! I’ve never been one to spend money on clothing. Wal-mart is where it’s at! A lot of my friends are the same way, but there is one of our friends who would never be caught dead in Wal-mart clothing. Her & her husband fork out hundreds of dollars each month buying named brand clothing off E-bay! So, they strut around in Versace t-shirts, Louis Vuitton hand bags etc.. I get a kick out of it.
Wearing those name brands make them feel important and good. Sounds so very strange to me!
“It’s experiences that make us happy, not STUFF.” — For some people, it’s the experience of buying stuff that makes them happy!! hehe.
August 26, 2008 at 9:36 am
As a mom of two fast growing daughters, I “shop” at second hand clothing stores, and Value Village. I hardly ever buy new clothes, and if I do, they have to be on sale – end of season clearances are great! I picked up a pair of jeans for my 7 year old at a second hand store with the original price tag on them (they were never worn). They were size 8 girls jeans, from The Gap, and the original price was $36. For kids jeans!!!! I paid $5 for them. For myself, I buy $6 jeans second hand, and some brands have been Lands End and Levi’s. So I could never buy a $400 purse – my current purse was $4 – again, second hand. Who is going to know where it came from? And who cares!!!
August 26, 2008 at 9:56 am
When my oldest son was in grade 10, he rejected wearing any name brand clothes – not that I paid out for them – but he was so vocal about it. I thought this strange but he told me that since he went to a yuppy school – everyone had brand clothes and he hated it!! He even pointed out the socks were name brand – Tommy Hillfiger as I remember. He couldn’t easily look at a girl who was so decorated!!
Now that he is 24 and almost out of the house, having just finished school, he still doesn’t wear any labels on his clothing – just plain and simple clothes which are reasonably priced. He hated my forcing him into having a suit for job interviews but he took it after much prodding. I think he’d go to an interview in only a shirt and jeans if I hadn’t insisted when he was 16 to wear a dress shirt and dress pants to all part time job interviews.
Some people are just clothes horses while others can’t be bothered to follow the trend.
August 26, 2008 at 10:39 am
Gail – interesting post. But I wonder why some items are a waste and others are not (ie in a previous posting, you said that you have a weakness for buying books). I am not a clothes person, but recognize that what is a waste to some is not to others and who am I to judge. For instance, I know of people who routinely go to the casinos and ‘waste’ money there. But they can afford it, they like it and it makes them happy and doesn’t jeopardize their lives. Though I don’t get it, I understand “to each their own”. Now, don’t get me wrong, buying expensive clothing that you don’t need when you’re in debt already is dumb, but no dumber than buying expansive item X that you don’t need if you’re already in debt. And some people do get happiness from stuff – ask me about my comic book collection sometime….
g
August 26, 2008 at 11:34 am
Brenda, you are playing my song! All (but intimates) are second hand and I get a kick out of knowing how little I pay and look fabulous!! So many pieces of clothing are brand new with tags and name brand that its not necessary to go to the malls and pay retail (even on sale retail). Isn’t second hand shopping the ultimate in recycling????
August 26, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I am so not a clothes horse. I absolutely hate shopping. I will go anywhere from 3-6 months without buying a piece of clothing. Basically I go shopping when enough of my clothing is no longer servicable for work. Personally I am a quality person versus quantity. Two or three times a year I take clothing to good will. When I buy jackets and sweaters to layer I try to purchase ones in black, white or brown so it can go with the largest number of clothing. Same goes for my bottoms. All of my color occurs in my tops and ideally work in several combinations to provide variety. My biggest weekness in terms of purchases would be books. It is for this reason that I rarely go to a bookstore. I could spend hours browsing the shelves. I like purchasing online partially because with the wish lists I don’t have to worry about forgetting about a book I thought looked interesting.
August 26, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Excellent point, Geoff. I buy “expensive” clothes (by the standards of some people in this thread) – the last shirt I bought cost about $50. Frankly I find the idea of wearing the discarded items of people I don’t know pretty gross. I’d be as likely to shop at a thrift store as I would be to eat people’s leftovers I found in a garbage can.
But Gail is right that it shouldn’t be about collecting “stuff”. People should buy the clothes they need. I have a small wardrobe. I currently own three pairs of slacks suitable for winter weather and I’d like to buy at least one more pair, so I’m saving up to do so. As long as I’m not going in to debt to afford my clothes and accessories, what I spend is irrelevant.
August 26, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Interesting point Geoff. And i have to say that I agree with you. If someone isn’t spending past their means, then it isn’t for us to decide if it’s right or wrong.
August 26, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Guess we all have our foibles and probably all have stuff we could get rid of but just can’t seem to bring ourselves to do so. Can’t resist quoting Mark Twain – “Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice.”
August 26, 2008 at 5:25 pm
My sister loves to buy clothes. Thanks to the limited size of her closet, I get some very nice hand-me downs great for almost any situation! She has fun taste in clothes.
I have a “one in = one out” rule for my closet, so I have to really think about what I am ready to get rid of before I accept anything new. That simple rule has saved me a whole lot of hassle (and squashed any guilt I may try to feel by removing “perfectly good” things from my life). I take all the things I no longer love or wear to charity, I know the money that they raise by selling them goes to helping people that need the extra clothes more than I do.
Last Boxing week I splurged and got a very nice, fitted wool jacket suitable for business meetings. It was drastically on sale and worth it to me to have a presentable appearance to my clients (I used to remove my shabby jacket in the car and shiver into my meetings). It only took about 2 years to find a jacket I liked at a price I was willing to spend! Ugh, I hated LOOKING for the coat, doing the store to store thing in the mall. I find it emotional draining and clothes shopping always leaves me feeling inadequate somehow.
(Grocery shopping is my passion!)
August 26, 2008 at 5:42 pm
After re-reading your blog, Gail, I thought about what you started to say about judging others by what people are wearing. Of course, we all do it. You really can’t get around it unless you’re blind. It’s a reality in the work world too. How can you impress someone? There is the old saying that the ‘clothes make the man’.
Did anyone, when young, envy someone for having something that they didn’t have? Is this where the need to have things – despite the costs – started? Are we nothing more than how we can keep up with the Jones? Our pain makes us spend so that we feel better?
I’ve watched a TV interview (many years ago now) about a gentleman who, during the depression, went hungry so often that he had to have more than enough food in his home at all times. He couldn’t just have enough food in the house – he needed to have more than enough – because of that psychological hurt from doing without. Do we act in the same way with clothing? When young, did our parents supply us with not enough, enough or too much clothing? As a result, has this affected us in how we deal with clothes for ourselves and our children too?
Just a few thoughts, Gail.
August 26, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I need to bring up the positive aspects of second hand clothes:
#1: Price, WAY less than retail! Especially for the high-end items.
#2: You are supporting a charity or local small business by shopping 2nd hand
#3: The environment. reduce/RE-USE/recycle! By finding new homes for clothes that don’t fit or never felt right on the original owner (we have all had clothes like that come into our lives) the new owner is helping the planet out by using less natural resources that are required to make new clothing and diverting waste!
#4: Practicality. A couple scuffs on the handbag takes the stress out of using it somehow. AND you already know what it will look-like/fit-like after it’s been washed! (I personally hate getting a new garment only to have it fit terrible after only one wash. By buying second hand I know exactly how it will wear!)
*** I have a pair of PRADA boots. They are of superior quality and feel luxurious on my feet (and they look great too). My old dress boots were worn right through so I went to the thrift shop. I don’t know HOW they ended up at there – wrong size on eBay? One too many pairs of little black boots? Who knows! – but I was VERY happy to pay $6 for them. That’s right, under ten dollars for DESIGNER Italian footwear and I was supporting a terrific charity too! ***
August 26, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Hey Geoff, I’m a firm believer in buying anything you want IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT. It is the people who prioritize stuff over a plan for the future that have me baffled. I don’t care what people spend the money they have on. I object to people spending the money they haven’t yet earned to build or maintain an image. Once upon a time, how much you had saved was a benchmark. Now, it’s how much credit you have access to. Too bad.
August 26, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Just wondering if those who are squeamish about wearing second hand clothes are also squeamish about sleeping in hotel sheets and using hotel towels. Quite likely these items have been used by hundreds of people. Is it any different than wearing a tee shirt that was purchased at a thrift shop? How about purchasing clothes in a department store that have been tried on by dozens of people? Or sitting on cloth upholstery that has never been cleaned and has been sat upon by thousands of other people? Just wondering.
August 26, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Good points Susan. It’s funny how we’re selectively squeamish..
August 26, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Funny that this should come up today as I was figuring out what to pack for my holidays. As usual everything I love to wear is what I regularly wear and discovered that it all will fit in my suitcase (despite the fact that I am a notorious overpacker). I plan to take what I don’t use regularly and put it into a spare closet, and whatever doesn’t get used, looked at (with the exception of special occasion clothes) in the next 3 months will be off to charity or in my case usually my mom wants first crack at what I am giving away. I had a garage sale recently and made a few dollars, fortunately other than a mortgage and car loan I have no other debt, so the extra funds went to my vacation fund, the best part was not having the extras to trip over or stuff to the back of a closet. Nothing came back into the house everything was sent to charity when it was done. Admittedly however, my purses are non-negotiable
August 27, 2008 at 12:11 pm
If I could avoid staying in hotels I would, Susan, but alas, I must put up with used sheets etc. I don’t have to put up with used clothes because I can buy new ones instead.
August 27, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I love to shop secondhand (my husband thinks I’m crazy for spending so much time there, but oddly enough loves it when I come home with a great find for him!).
Recently, however, most thrift stores have increased their prices and I have now found that I can get clothes cheaper on sale in good quality stores in the mall. Same goes for Walmart – case in point, last Christmas my inlaws gave me a sweater from Walmart that I wanted to return. I took the cash Walmart gave me and got two sweaters at my favorite store (RW&Co, which is expensive to me) for the same price on sale!
I’ve found that it’s so important to comparison shop – it’s shocking to me that I can get clothes cheaper at more expensive stores than Walmart or the thrift store!
August 27, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I can’t shop at second hand stores as I really detest having to look through everything in hopes of finding a gem. This is the same reason I do not shop for clothes at Winners.
September 3, 2008 at 11:41 am
At least once a year I get together with my sisters and a couple of friends. Each person goes through their closets (coats, shoes & purses included), and brings a box of clothes to a “Closet Party”. We make martini’s and spend the entire evening going through the collection of things that we may want. What ever is left over goes to the local Women’s Shelter. Each person always ends up bringing more than they take home, and for those that are a little weary of second hand stores, it’s a little more comforting knowing exactly who had the clothing before.
October 28, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Keep up the good work.