7 Bad Habits That’ll Get You in Trouble
Posted by Gail | Filed under Bad Habits!
We all have ‘em: habits. Some are the kinds you acquired a long time ago that keep you on track without even having to think about it. You brush your teeth, wipe the counters when you spill something, separate your delicates from your tough clothes all because you’ve formed the habit and it’s automatic. But what happens when you’ve created a habit that’s bad for you? Do you even realize your habit is working against you? And is it the anchor that’s stopping you from moving towards the life you want?
1. Playing the Keeping-Up Game I saw a funny cartoon the other day. A man and a woman were gardening. She looked over her shoulder to the neighbour pulling into the driveway and said, “Damn, we were almost out of debt and The Wilson’s had to go buy a new car!” Comparing yourself to your friends, family, co-workers, or neighbours is a bad habit that can get you in trouble financially. If you’re always trying to keep up – damn the costs – then you’ll be willing to use credit to acquire what you need to stay ahead of the pack. And trying to keep up with other people’s lifestyles is a game that will suck you dry financially.
Ever seen too boys bragging about their latest electronic acquisition? Have you watched girls ooh and ahh over a spiffy new pair of shoes? It’s nice to enjoy a new purchase. But if you’re always buying to impress, or running into debt to keep up, then it’s time to take stock of why.
2. Not Saving With I’ve-got-to-have-it-now the prevelant attitude, it’s no wonder people can’t find the money to save. But if you’re not saving, you’re just begging for trouble. Savings come in two basic flavours:
- there’s long term savings which will mean you won’t have to eat Alpo when you finally hang up your chainsaw (this is what I’m talking about when I talk about “saving”), and
- there’s saving for emergencies, the things you want to buy, and medium term goals like sending your kids to college, which I call “planned spending.”
While it may be hard for you to imagine that you’ll ever retire… and maybe you won’t… having some money accumulating so that you don’t have to haul your sorry butt to Timmy’s to do the evening shift when you’re 76 years old might be a good idea. Just imagine your grandmother or your great-grandfather wobbling off to work in the morning and you’ll see why having some money at hand for when you may no longer want to work is a good idea. How much will you need? Hey, if you aren’t saving anything now, that question is just a distraction. Get busy saving $50, $100, $200 a month and when you’re up to the RRSP limit, lemme know.
3. Following the Crowd Whether we’re talking about investing in the stock market, buying real estate to flip, or jumping on the latest big idea to make money, people tend to get caught up in whatever is being hyped. Take the investment world as an example. When news is good, they jump into the market. When market news is bad, they bail. Hey, that sounds a lot like buying high and selling low, the antithesis of a good investment plan.
If you don’t understand an investment, you shouldn’t be buying it. If you don’t know your investment time horizon, you need to figure it out. If you don’t understand your own investment risk tolerance, you’re going to end up a sad investor. Doing what everyone else is doing isn’t the way to financial nirvana. And if you’ve gotten into the habit of following the crowd, it’s time to think for yourself. Need help. Get an advisor who is knowledgeable and understands what you want to achieve. Then, as that advisor helps you make your decisions, learn, learn, learn.
4. Carrying a Balance on Your Credit Card Some people find it very convenient to use a credit card for all their purchases. I’m one of ‘em. But if you don’t pay your balance off in full every month, interest and fees mean you’ll wind up paying substantially more by using plastic over cash. And since research has shown that it is psychologically easier to whip out a card to buy stuff than it is to use hard-earned cash, if you have any problem with the Impulse Monkey credit cards aren’t for you. If you already have a balance on a card, freeze the card so you can’t keep using it, and work your buns off to pay down the balance as fast as possible.
5. Over-compensating with Gifts Do you go overboard at Christmas? Do you see every birthday as a great excuse to go shopping for the biggest and the best? Do you have to throw the most lavish parties? Hey, if you’ve got the money to spare and you love sharing, you go for it. But if you’re digging yourself into debt, what are you trying to prove and to whom are you trying to prove it? Money can’t buy love, so if you’re trying to compensate for being a dick, it won’t work. And money is no substitute for time, so if you’re trying to compensate for never being around, that won’t work either. The gifts you give should be a thoughtful reflection of what you know about the person to whom you are giving. I know there are people who like to gift things they themselves would like to receive, but that’s about YOU not about the person you’re giving to. And the gift doesn’t have to cost a lot of money – or any money in fact – to be seen as “valuable” by the recipient. It just has to be something that person would love to receive.
6. Letting Yourself Be Talked into Stuff Does your girlfriend, brother, granddaughter, husband, mother have you wrapped around their little fingers? If you allow yourself to be talked into doing things (or spending money) you inevitably regret, it’s time to grow some stones and take a stand. Ditto being sold something by a pushy salesman, being pressured to do something by your boss, or being cajoled by your children. Any kind of pressure should be a red flag to you that something isn’t right. Walk away when you feel pressure so you have some time to think about it. Legitimate requests can almost always stand the test of “time to think.” Sadly, people get into the habit of acquiescing to requests. “We need you to coach this year.” “I’m counting on you to take me to my appointments.” “I know you’ll see that working overtime is the only way we’re going to get done on time.” Hey, if it’s in your best interest to do a thing, then do it. And if you really want to do a thing, then do it. But if you’re just rolling over because you’re an easy touch, this is a habit you need to break. This is doubly true if what you’re being talked into is putting you or your family at financial risk.
7. Refusing to Live on a Budget If you’ve always just spent your money in response to whatever bills have come in, or whatever shopping you feel like doing, then you’ve formed the habit of NOT managing your money. It’s just slipping through your fingers and you’re never going to know where it’s going. While lotsnlotsa people say they hate the whole idea of budgeting because they feel like budgets are restrictive, they’re just determined never to be accountable for what they are spending. A budget is a plan. It is your thought-out and carefully considered desire to spend your money in a particular way. It is a written indication of your priorities. Refusing to budget is tantamount to refusing to have a plan. Hey, that’s a pretty bad habit – the “no plan” habit. And it likely means you’ll never get a handle on your finances because you have no foundation from which to build. Sure, there are times when you may make enough money that you can survive without a plan. But you will never thrive without a plan.
Holding tight to these seven bad habits virtually guarantees that where you are today is better than where you’ll be down the road. Time will tell.
With all the writing I’ve been doing for Never Too Late, I fell behind on the Polls. But I love getting your feedback so I’m pulling up my socks! A new poll is up on the Blog Home Page. Go vote!
May 10, 2010 at 8:04 am
I think I’m guilty of number 3. Now that there is a crisis in Europe where I have some money in a mutual fund I want to bail. not the best move in the world.
regards,
Jason
May 10, 2010 at 8:19 am
I’m guilty of being talked into stuff, but thankfully not with money (I don’t like to spend if I haven’t planned for it). I mean doing things for people. I am on a volunteer committee, and I took on a few jobs that I enjoyed, but I was asked to “help” someone with a project I wasn’t really comfortable with, and I said yes. Well, I got stuck with the WHOLE project, and kept spinning my wheels doing it, while not enjoying it and feeling bad when things weren’t getting done (all as a volunteer). So, this week I said “NO”, and I feel wonderful! The world didn’t stop, and I have that monkey off my back. Definitely won’t get caught in that trap again!
May 10, 2010 at 8:20 am
I still struggle with the budget. I make sure we save. The bills are all paid and the credit card statement balance is paid in full each month, but I know I’ll owe on the ccrd the next month. I’m still working on the self discipline to not buy. I tend to allow myself the smaller things like clothes, magazines and nail polish that don’t need. Those little items really add up!
Bigger items I have not given into even though I REALLY want to. Right now it’s difficult to save for bigger items when I’m already saving for emergencies and retirement etc, while DH is in school and on a reduced income.
One day at a time.
May 10, 2010 at 8:47 am
Way to Brenda! I am sort of in the same boat. i went to a trainning session a few months back that several of my co-workers were supposed to go to. We are upgrading the computer system at work and like 5 people were supposed to go to learn about this one module that was just getting implemented. I am fairly new to this software and my boss suggested I tag along to broaden my knowladge. Turns out I was the only one who showed up from our department. Ended up that I am now the “Expert” on this module and I eneded up being given the job of finishing the implementation of the a module that I knew nothing about! I tend to take on challanges head on and thank God for tech support!
I really have a hard time saying no and I need to watch that because my husband can be very convincing!
May 10, 2010 at 8:57 am
I’m guilty of a few here and there — not consistently one or the other. And getting out of the bad habits….
The one problem I have is with gifting…. while money is not a substitute for time, I find myself constantly giving $ to my neices and nephews who are having a hard go of it as they begin their adult life.
For example, my one neice just lost her second job (she is a hard worker, not sure if it is the economy, or just bad decisions – too far away to know) and she is going to college at the same time, and not able to stay at home.
So I am giving her $ as her birthday and christmas gift early (put in birthday card, xmas card) — but I’m having trouble in not going overboard in the amount. It is not in the budget, but I really want to support my neices and nephews in a manner that I did not receive support myself at that age.
I do not have any kids, and I have a good cash flow, so this is definately a problem I have — all the time.
Ahh well… we’ll see what I can come up with from this month’s budget.
I’m going to pick another bad habit not listed:
8. The “I’m too tired to….” habit: This *always* gets me in trouble… usually involving cooking.
Have a great day all!
May 10, 2010 at 9:18 am
@ Jason – I’ve never been guilty of #3 but do understand. Best advice comes from Buffet – “Be greedy when others are fearful, and be fearful when others are greedy”. Translation: I bought more stock last week. Maybe that’ll work out for me, maybe it won’t. But I do know there were 6 sellers for every 1 buyer last week and time is on my side.
May 10, 2010 at 9:27 am
@ Geoff – you took the words right out of my mouth. There is going to be a lot of opportunity that presents itself over the next couple of years. In 2012 over 700 Billion in corporate debt comes due, the majority of these companies will not have the ability to repay, fun times.
May 10, 2010 at 9:36 am
I used to do # 2, 3, 4 and 7 but I’m happy to say that I no longer have any of those bad habits.
May 10, 2010 at 10:35 am
“6. Letting Yourself Be Talked into Stuff” is definitely the worst habit of all for me. I hate spending lots of money, especially on myself, but in the past, DH was very good at persuading me to “go for it” when we should be putting on the brakes! Now he and I are working hard together to stay on budget and things are much better.
I think emotions are a big part of this one – I will always attempt to spend money trying to make other people happy. It doesn’t usually last long (the happiness that spending produces).
May 10, 2010 at 10:43 am
I don’t think I overcompensate at Christmas – but I defn. spend a tonne of moolah! Part of it is that my shopping list is around 15 people! I’ve started saving now though – and my goal is to have $1,000 tucked away by the time December roles around.
May 10, 2010 at 12:20 pm
I’m like Brenda, getting suckered into doing things although I’m a lot better at saying No than I was before. What pisses me off is that when I ask for help and the person can’t help me, I accept and move on. I don’t take it personally since it was a question and “no” is a possible answer. But when the shoe is on the other foot and I say “no”, people are quite insulted. “But you’re so good at it, you’re the only one, I did this for you…” I hate guilt.
May 10, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I know where my character weaknesses are on this list, so I adjust my budget to accommodate them. I can be a bit of a #5, but that’s why I budget (generously) for birthdays and Christmas
#6 is a problem because I can be a pushover. I’m fine with standing up to salespeople…it’s family and friends that are trouble! I’m not sure what to do about this one. “Growing some stones” is easier said than done when it’s someone you care about and you genuinely want to do what they ask. Usually I just prioritize my spending around the demands that are made of me.
May 10, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Over-compensating with gifts for sure! I (like Kat) want to give more for gifts. My little nieces are only 1 and almost 3 years old and I am already kind of worried about future gifts because I’m spending too much on them already. I tried to rationalize an expensive Mother’s Day gift because it was less than the one I originally had in mind.
My mom said to me once, “You are poor”. Sounds cruel but I think she was trying to drive it into my head that I don’t make enough money to be blowing it on other people like I do. Will I ever learn?
I also have problems with gifts to myself. I need an ironing board. Sounds harmless enough….. but I don’t want JUST ANY ironing board. I want the $125 ironing board. I walked away – it’s an ironing board. That’s like buying a $300 purse (roll eyes here).
May 10, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I have been paying off my cc debt since mid February and almost have my highest interest card paid off. Only $398 to go, I am so excited about this accomplishment and thanks to my debt diet I am saving and investing a bit. I have about $5700 to go. My problem is my bf is not on the diet so he is spending his money on me because he wants to do things like eat out and going to movies. He splurged hugely on me on my birthday. I have to watch what I wish for out loud because he goes and buys it. I wish he was less of a spender.
May 10, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Gail,
I have a Life Pie question. Since the 10% savings category you speak of is strictly retirement saving, where in the Life Pie is the allotted percent for emergencies or planned spending?
Or, if the 10% is meant to cover all three, what percent should be in each category?
If anyone knows this answer, I’d appreciate the help.
May 10, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Rhiannon:
Planned spending comes from respective categories. I put money away for car repairs, that is part of the 15% max towards transportation. Same goes for housing, holidays, …
My emergency fund does not come from the 10% towards long-term savings. It comes from my regular budget. Think about what you would use your EF for and whether it is long-term savings. If you do not need to put 15% towards debt repayment, use it (or part of it) to build your emergency fund.
May 10, 2010 at 2:11 pm
@ Rosemary – never forget that when it comes to some things, men are incredibly dumb (I’m a man, btw). Especially when it comes to figuring out what women want. Suggest you just tell him: I love the expensive meals, but I wish you were less of a spender and more of a saver for our future together. You might be surprised by the reaction. Sometimes men think we’re helping, when we’re not and just need someone to “give us the tap” and let us know we’re not. Then we can change and move on with our day.
May 10, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Thanks, Marie. I was confused about how to fit my EF savings in percentage-wise. But thus far, my Life Pie looks like this:
Housing (Rent): 40%
Retirement savings: 10%
EF: 5%
Debt (I’m paying back my EF from an emergency): 7%
Transportation: 0% (I don’t need this category as I never have any transportation costs; I’m blind and travel by bus for free)
Charity: 10%
Bills (telephone, cable, etc): 2%
Planned spending (medical, pet, gifts, cards, wrapping, etc.): 10%
Groceries, household, entertainment, clothing, everything else: 16%
I know I should be spending more in the Debt category, and less in the Housing category, but I can’t find a place to rent that doesn’t take up a good portion of my income.
I also can’t figure out where else to cut from, My medical costs are high, which is what pushes my Planned Spending up to 10% of my income, and I don’t want to skimp on how much I give to charity. While I’m busy trying to figure out which portion of my income should go where, there are those who don’t have a job at all, those whose house just burned down and all their possessions with it, and there are those who make way less than I (on government assistance) who are trying to figure out whether to pay the rent or eat this week.
I guess I’m sensitive to people in these positions because I used to be one of them. I remember thinking of a box of Kraft Dinner as food for three days, and I remember deciding whether to pay the rent or the hydro bill. Now that I’m in a better position financially, I want to make sure my money isn’t squandered. That’s why I sometimes ask questions on here, to get advice from people who have more financial knowledge than I.
Thank you for your support, and thank you, Gail, for all your wisdom and advice. I may not retire with a million dollars, but I can at least be secure in the knowledge that I have something put away for when times get rough.
May 10, 2010 at 3:45 pm
@Rhiannon The saying “charity begins at home” is always true…. and while you may not want to “skimp on charity” – it does not make sense to fund charity with $ when you do not have an emergency fund set up and have so many issues as well.
Are you sure there are no charitible things that you could volunteer for with your time rather than with your $?
If you’re on a plane and it’s going down, they tell you to put the life jacket on yourself first, before you put it on a child — this is because you can’t save anyone, until you save yourself.
May 10, 2010 at 3:53 pm
@Rhiannon – You are doing an amazing job!
Gail’s budget is a guide, not a be-all, end-all. The fact that you don’t have any transportation costs means you can spreat that 15% around where it suits you the best. If you want to put 5% into housing, then go for it! If you want to give 10% to charity, then you are to be commended – as long as you aren’t putting yourself in the poorhouse to do it
Don’t forget that you can save up you charitable donations for an extra 5 years and then submit them all at once. It will make a huge difference on the amount you get back from the government because the first $200 is based on a very low rate while the remaining is based on your tax rate.
May 10, 2010 at 4:21 pm
Rhiannon:
You have two most important parts of setting a budget correctly:
1- Your budget is no greater than your income.
2- Your budget includes 10% towards long-term savings.
Great!
It is true that Gail’s % are a guideline that becomes very important IF you have problems making ends meet. You don’t seem to have that problem. It does not matter how you spend the 90% of you income for as long as it works for you.
If you can trim 1-2% from your rent and put it aside for the future, you have your housing pre-planned spending set up. So if your real spending is not quite 40%, put the balance in a separate account. If a rent increase does not match a increase in income, you have money to ccover the difference for a while.
If you can trim 2-3% of your regular spending, you have your life pre-planned spending set up. This one is important in order to use your EF only for things that are hard to predict. Medical bills are hard to trim. Ensure that you are on top of every gov’t and insurance benefits that are applicable.
If your debt repayment is to refill your EF (so you do not spend $ on interest), that is great. I’ll admit that 10% towards charity is not a small amount, and that I would fill up the EF until I have 3-months and then give more towards charity, but YOU have to be ok with that. Helping those less fortunate with what you learn about budgeting can be a huge asset to those without the knowledge. Once you are done with the 7% debt repayment, enjoy 1/2 of it and put the other one aside as pre-planned spending. What would you like that you do not have? What technologies would help you with your disabilities to make life more convenient or fun? How about a little holiday?
You are doing great! Good work!
May 10, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Kat,
Thanks for the advice. I already do volunteer with the Salvation Army, and give my time to other local charities, like Black Creek Pioneer Village. I’m also in school part-time as well as having a full-time job.
The problem I find with those who can afford to give financially, but choose to give their time to charity instead is this: While the gift of time is valuable, if everyone gives from their time as opposed to their money, the charity won’t have any money to work with.
Now, don’t get me wrong – there are certainly people who are barely making ends meet and who can only afford to give their time, and their contributions are very valuable. But for those who make enough money to have all their needs met, plus have some extra (after putting something into savings, of course), I think they should give financially instead of keeping all their wealth for themselves..
Having a large savings account balance is great, but it wouldn’t feel as good if I didn’t know that I was giving some of my wealth to those who need it to help meet their basic needs. And, having been one of them myself, I feel even more compelled to give back to those charities and programs that helped me.
There’s also the fact that when I donate my time to a charity, it’s usually spent fundraising. I could sit in a room and stuff envelopes, but if no one gives the funds to buy the envelopes, there’s nothing for me to do.
I apologize if this comes across as my sounding haughty. Each person has a right to choose where their money is allocated, and I’m not trying to deprive anyone of that right. I just think that, as a person who has had to rely on charities for support, I’m more aware of the need for funds.
I will happily forego having a large savings account in a short amount of time in favour of helping others get through their own difficult times. That way, maybe more people will be able to get back on their feet, the way I did, and have an earlier start in the process.
May 10, 2010 at 5:08 pm
@ Rhiannon – I think the objection is not that you shouldn’t give money, but that you shouldn’t give money while already in debt.
If you think about it, if you owed the baker $20 and you gave $10 to charity, you’re really taking the money out of the baker’s mouth to give to charity. Now I don’t think in you’re case you’re actually’in debt’ to anyone, so that’s not an issue. Gail has actually posted on this very subject, I think.
May 10, 2010 at 7:01 pm
SimpleSavings:
Thanks for the advice. I’m going to consider saving up my monthly contributions and giving one large donation instead. I usually get a tax refund anyway (due to having a low income and a disability) so I’ll have to do some calculations to see how much difference it would make.
Marie:
Unfortunately, my rent cheque is exactly 40% of my income, so I can’t trim there. But I think your suggestion of trying to trim my monthly spending and/or puting aside a part of what I’m paying on debt right now is a good idea. I’d love to take a vacation with my friends; maybe after my debt is paid off I can start saving for one.
As for the medical bills, thank you for the suggestion. I’ve already got every kind of insurance and assistance I can, but my medical costs are still high relative to my income. My main problem is insurance – once you’ve got a disability, try finding a place that’ll give you health insurance of any kind.
The good news is, while a good portion of my medical costs comes out of my pocket, the big things – like a braille typewriter ($2500) and a computer program that reads the screen to me ($7000 plus another $2000 every two years in upgrades) – are covered, up to 75%, by assistance programs. The CNIB also gives you one free white cane per year. You still have to pay for new tips and any canes you need once you’ve worn the first one out, but it’s nice to have at least one of the three canes I use each year covered.
Geoff:
Thank you for the clarification. Since I don’t owe debt to anyone but myself, I agree with you that it’s not an issue for me. I think I remember seeing an article about giving a while back; I’ll have to find it and read it over again.
Everyone, thank you for all of your comments and support. One of these days, I’ll be in a better financial position than I am now, and it’ll be mostly thanks to Gail’s blog and the advice and support of you guys. Thank you.
May 11, 2010 at 9:16 am
@ Rhiannon Personally, you can sound haughty if you like, it’s your opinion, and you put your money where your convictions are.
My point is that you don’t have your EMERGENCY FUND complete yet. It’s not so much that you may be in debt, because that can take a while to get out of, and you have to live and enjoy your life as you choose, and not let debt take that away from you.
However, my personal opinion is that *especially* with someone that has medical expenses/condition, you have to have an emergency fund first *before* you give any $ to charity.
I don’t know your situation, your family support etc — but your budget has 10% listed for charity, and 5% listed for emergency fund.
You mentioned that there are those that “are barely making ends meet and who can only afford to give their time, and their contributions are very valuable. But for those who make enough money to have all their needs met, plus have some extra (after putting something into savings, of course), I think they should give financially instead of keeping all their wealth for themselves..”
I would suggest, as someone who has medical issues/emergencies, that an emergency fund is not something that should be *less* than your charity donation. And funding for retirement (depends upon your age) — that’s your call, but I think that is essential at 10%.
Once you have your emergency fund set up, by all means, up your charity contribution to 15% if that is your desire.
I still repeat, you need to make sure that you are okay first, before you help others.
May 11, 2010 at 10:07 am
Kat,
Thank you for your advice. Maybe I can afford to give a little less to charity now (until I have my full EF in place) and make up for it later, when I have no debt and a full EF. It’s a fight within me as to whether or not I’ll do so, but your perspective has given me something to think about.
May 11, 2010 at 10:11 am
Kat,
I missed mentioning this, but I think you’re right about the retirement savings. I’ll be 28 in a few months, and because I neither have a pension plan at work nor a large salary (I bring home $2000/month net), retirement savings is a priority for me. I have both an RRSP and an RDSP, and contribute to both. I’m nowhere near my RRSP limit, but 10% of my salary is all I can afford to put aside at this time.
May 11, 2010 at 12:30 pm
@ Rhiannon You’re really welcome, and I love that it got me thinking too!
With your young age, compounding savings at this time can mean a big difference.
For example (and Geoff is a lot better at giving numbers) — but I’ll give it a go…
10% of your income is $200 / month. If you took that $200 / month it translates into an insanely large amount when you retire because you have more years to compound it.
So in 10 years, if you kept contributing 2400 per year, at 4% return, you would have $29 967.24.
What would that be if it were 15%? $44950.87
Now, because you’re young, you get to compound those numbers another 20 years.
Ahhhh if I could go back in time to that girl in her 20’s, and slap her around a little… LOL
You are doing great Rhiannon, and you have a wonderful generous soul. I wish I knew more people that had difficulty in restraining themselves from giving too much of their budget to charity.
Take care!
May 11, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Kat,
I think what you wrote is great. I don’t have anything much to add, but I wanted to let you know that I read your post.
Thank you for taking the time to compound the numbers for me, to help me see that my small contribution now will add up over time. Of course, $125 of my $200 goes into an RDSP where, for 20 years, I get 230% interest thanks to government contributions. It’s a great program; Gail wrote about it a while back.
So although I’m only contributing $75 a month to an RRSP, I think I still win the interest game.
If you want to know more about the RDSP, you can find it here:
http://gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/338
May 11, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Rhiannon, thanks for reading the msg and posting about RDSP (I didn’t know what it was but thought it was something like an RRSP) That’s a great program! Good to see the tax dollars go for something tangible and so very helpful.
Have a great day!
May 11, 2010 at 3:13 pm
Rhiannon – I just wanted to let you know that I found your posts very inspiring. It sounds like you’ve got a very good head on your shoulders and have done a fantastic job in getting your life in order despite any “disability” (or perhaps different ability?)
May 11, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Jen,
Thank you for the compliment. I had a laugh at the “different ability” part. Most people I know who have had disabilities for along time either laugh or cringe when someone calls them “differently abled” because it sounds so politically correct.
However, I know that it comes from a place of compassion – the person is only trying to show their empathy by emphasizing what I can do, as opposed to what I can’t.
I’ve been blind for 12 years now and have accepted it as a disability. It doesn’t define me, and nor does it have to, but it is a part of who I am and I’ve accepted that.
Of course, it took me a while to be able to accept it, and there are others, whose disabilities are new to them, who don’t. “Differently abled” may not be a good phrase to use, but it’s the best we’ve got.
Have a great day,
Rhiannon
May 11, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Oops. along = a long. Sorry!
May 11, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Kinda off topic: Saw this website and thought of you, Gail: http://www.bringbackthriftweek.org/history.asp
May 12, 2010 at 1:15 pm
we are definetly guilty for not keeping a budget, well at least because we never know exactly how much to set. We tried but it never got us very far. Why is budget setting so hard?
May 15, 2010 at 10:02 am
[...] 7 Bad Habits that Will get you in Trouble [...]
May 10, 2012 at 12:14 am
site. you have to make sure that…
every piece of information that you put on your site is true and accurate to the best of your knowledge. it is also important to include examples that people can relate to in a positive way. examples make your blog relatable…