Financial Fantasies
Posted by John Draper | Filed under Life Lessons, Take Control
It’s amazing the many ways in which we’re willing to delude ourselves so that we don’t have to face our realities. People are soooo willing to grab hold of a Maybe or a What If or a Perhaps, all so they don’t have to deal with their own crap. If you’re thinking that any of the following are in your future, you need to give your head a shake.
Prince Charming is Going to Save Me. Really? Prince Charming? Didn’t you see Shrek? He’s a Momma’s Boy who is so obsessed with his own future that you’ll only know he’s been there by the wreck he’s left behind: YOU! Despite all the stuff that’s been written about the Prince Charming Myth, there are still people out there – boys and girls alike — who believe that someone is going to come riding to their rescue with pots of money to bale them out. If he’s stupid enough to try and bail you out of the mess you made of your own life, why would you want him? Let’s face it, in today’s very complex world, one person with the “solutions to all your problems” is likely to come with a whole lot of baggage of his own.
My Parents are Going to Leave Me a Million. Let’s say they do. What makes you think you’re going to have any better luck managing an inheritance than you do managing the money you actually have to work hard for? But what makes you think they’re even going to have a million to leave you? After all, with rising health care costs and greater longevity, your parents could live to be ninety. And many of those years will be very expensive as they take medicine, hire caregivers and generally do whatever they can to extend their lives for as long as possible. Assuming you’re 25 years younger than your youngest parent, you’d could be 65 or 70 by the time both your parents kicked the bucket. That’s a hell of a long time to put your life on hold. And then, of course, if you have a sibling or three, you’re going to have to split what’s left once dear old mom and dad shuffle off this mortal coil.
I’ll Win the Lottery. Ha! This is one of my favorites. Do you know that you’re more likely to be struck by lightening TWICE than win the lottery? How about this one: you’re more likely to die in a car accident going to the store to buy a lottery ticket than win the lottery. I know someone has to win. I know it could be you. But do YOU know that it very likely won’t be. Besides, 1/3 of lottery winners end up bankrupt within five years of cashing in their lottery tickets. Why? Simple. We don’t value what we don’t have to work hard to earn
Oprah’s Going to Discover Me. Yeah. I’m waiting for her to call me too.
I’ll Get Rich Playing the Stock Market. “Playing” is the operative word here. If you’re “playing” then you’re not serious about investing. If you’re serious about investing, you’re using a buy-and-hold strategy, and you have an advisor who knows what she’s doing.
I’m Just Waiting to Land the Big Job. Which job is that? The one where they pay you oodles of money to do what they could pay someone else half as much to do? Hmmm.
Things Will Work Out. How’s that working for you so far?
Financial success is based on performing the essentials of good money management. You have to have a plan. You have to be organized. You have to have a goal and be committed to achieving that goal. And you have to work smart.
Harbouring financial fantasies are detrimental to success because they encourage you to put the power outside yourself: you’ll be rescued, you’ll be left a ton of cash, you’ll be discovered. If you want to be successful, you have to take back the power and know that the best way to make it happen is to do it for yourself.
The old saying, “It took 10 years to become an overnight success” is true because success means learning from your mistakes, becoming knowledgeable about money and how it works, and knowing our own strengths and weaknesses.
July 22, 2008 at 11:03 am
Fantastic article! So many people need to wake up out of La La Land and clean up their financial messes now!!
July 22, 2008 at 11:39 am
Fantasies are nice, sure, but yes, there is a time (i.e. NOW) that you need to wake up and take control. I’ve reached that point to such an extent that I’ve enlisted the aid of financial advisor. I am still making some slip ups and find myself spending too easily on “things”, but the amount of money I’ve managed to save in the past 4 or 5 months is literally unbelievable – to me, at least.
I owe it to you, Gail, and this forum of so many positive, supportive readers and doers. I may be a late bloomer, but bloom I will. I’m determined now and I really am “getting it”.
July 22, 2008 at 12:20 pm
In terms of financial planning “Plan for the Worst and Hope for the Best” is the best way to go. I am a big fan of emergency funds if for no other reason than I can be more relaxed about what life is going to throw me. I have also looked at my budget and know exactly what I could cut from it in the case of an “OH S**T” event in my life. I plan that way even though my job is not in danger but because it gives me peace of mind.
July 22, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Geez Gail! You just shot all of my financial fantasies to hell. I just asked my husband last night if I could quit my job and live off of him. Guess I better get back work!
But maybe I’ll send Oprah an e-mail first…LOL.
July 22, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Tough Love!!!!
I like your kick-in-the-pants posts.
(My maxed-out sibling’s husband was in a motorcycle accident this weekend…. the bottom fell out of me when I got the call. The good news is it was a rather minor skirmish with a small deer and he only sprained his shoulder and mangled his bike — he can still go to work and earn the money to pay their debts. I HOPE this proves to them that they need to prepare for inevitablities of life, and potential loss of income.)
July 22, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Another great post!
My wife and I love playing the “if we won the lottery” game, it’s cheaper than a night out at the movies and there’s always some new avenue to explore, but it’s just that, a game.
We are certain we won’t win, we’d love it if we did, but those odds are not stacked in out favour, and as our credit card companies won’t accept pipe dreams as payment, we’re going to have to keep working on the old fashioned stuff.
July 23, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I have talked to dozens of people about saving money RRSP’s , RESP’s etc only to hear ” ya I’ll invest with you when I win the lottery” or ” count me in when we get the inheritance from my parents”. It blows me away! Most of them buy a couple of Timmies a day or go to the casino on a regular basis. I guess it’s a matter of priorities.
August 5, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I discovered your show on Slice and now I am addicted. My wife thinks I am nuts but I do believe there is no one to rescue me but myself. My Dad pissed away my Mom’s huge inheritance. As well my ancestors on my Dad’s side pissed away a fortune and I mean a fortune in a couple of generations. Our ancestors used to own huge tracts of land along the St. Lawrence River and its all vanished (not the land but the the title to it). As you say, you don’t value money if you don’t earn yourself.
The stress of my Dad losing the inheritance cost my parent’s their marriage. My Dad tried to get rich quick even though he was already doing rather well because of the inheritance. It stuck with me and now I am a bit obsessive about saving for a rainy day. I have been downsized a couple of times which also makes me gunshy about being a big spender. My wife isn’t quite there yet but I am working on her (going on 20 years). Her parents offered to loan us money to buy our house and I refused. We have a great house and it is because we dilegently saved for it. I love your no fuss, no muss approach to whipping those spendaholics into shape. Keep it up. If I could be in love with a financial guru it would be you.