I was made aware that we are in Canada now where you are not obliged to buy expensive gifts for people just because you have the money or look like you have money. Crazy as it seems, this has been a big hurdle for me to undo what my mom told us was the way things are done in the old country. Eg. If you can bring a more expensive present then you would be seen to be a more popular sought after person to invite and hence more people had to respect you because you were rich.

I have spent many years feeling resentful for being one of the invisible rich people among my peers and always hearing my mom’s voice in the background making me feel guilty if I did not throw money in larger and larger amounts into gifts for people who had jobs but who were just not a highly paid as I am. Do we do that to feel better about ourselves or does it just cause others to be more embarrassed to receive a generous gift because they cannot reciprocate? Why is a meaningful small gift from a friend who’s income is not so high acceptable to me but my extravagent gift which cost more money has the be the minimum standard I resentfully set for myself because I don’t want my friend to think I am cheap. Not just the gift is involved because I am guilty of picking up the bill for meals out too because I feel guilty that I make more money than they do. Now that I do not have as much disposible income as before due to other financial obligations such as meeting my net worth goal of paying down our mortgage as fast as possible, I wondered if these same friends would not like me as much as before when I paid for most of the going out times we had together. I don’t want Christmas and Birthdays to be “pay offs” times that I resent each year.

Thank you to all for the comments on this posting that help me see that its totally ok to be one of the invisible rich who can give a less costly gift to a friend and not have to worry about them thinking I am cheap or are being selfish by not sharing more of my wealth with them as an expectation to the “THEY” who are out there. I have learned that this intangible “THEY” factor that I fear is just stuff in my own head. I have to give my head a shake and grow up to dispell the wrong thinking and nattering voices in my own head which stem from what I learned from my mom’s actions and opinions growing up about money and wealth.

True wealth is being happy with what you have. True wealth is being around friends that you like who like you for you (and not just for what you can get for them or pay for them). True wealth is NOT spending everything you have to buy people’s love, admiration or friendship by sacrificing your own net worth goals in the process of feeling obliged to keep the gift $ amount bar go higher and higher.

Wish everyone all the best in staying strong in your convictions, reaching your goals even if they are against the norm of a consumeristic societal message, and living a life that is wealthy in love, security and peace.

People always think that living on a budget is restrictive but he actually was shocked at how much money I had allotted to spending/entertainment, transportation, etc. With any luck he’ll be inspired enough to agree to it! Thanks Gail for your inspiration.

Words to live by. I’m always quoting Gail from the show where she told the man:”nothing matters less than the vehicle in your driveway.”

If people purchased cars for economy – rather than to impress – it would help the environment as well as their financial health.

http://www.dinkytown.net/

I guess most of us go through such a period, don’t we? I think what makes the real difference in how we end up is how quickly we learn the lesson Gail’s talking about here: pretending to be rich will make you poor, but pretending to be poor will make you rich.

“Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever.” — Aristophanes

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m just glad I was only being immature and ignorant.

I too can’t wait to see your new Princess show. I wish I could see the T’il Debt do us part US but unfortunately cnbc show me previews, show it on the guide but they always put another show in its place. Is anyone else able to see it in Canada via their TV?