Comments on: Are You a Grasshopper or an Ant?

By: 6 Life Lessons from the Stock Market | Balance Junkie

6 Life Lessons from the Stock Market | Balance Junkie — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 09:39:15 +0000

[...] Life, like the markets, seems to have cyclical peaks and valleys. A good rule of thumb is to be the ant. If you’re experiencing a run of good luck, make provisions for when your luck turns. Chances [...]

By: Doctor Stock

Doctor Stock — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 05:00:13 +0000

I’m both at times… but I strongly believe in taking my profits before diving down to where I began or worse!

By: This and That: Troubles at Scotia iTrade and more… | Canadian Capitalist

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 04:18:50 +0000

[...] Gail Vaz-Oxlade asks readers if they are grasshoppers or ants. [...]

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 09:16:24 +0000

chubby bunny, if your ex is publicly trashing you on Facebook, that can work to your advantage. Government agencies are already using the site for things like WCB fraud – ppl posting pics of waterskiing, for example, when they are off work with a ‘back’ injury. My niece has a whole whack of text messages where her estranged husband is beyond vulgar in his name calling, etc. Also, if your ex is military, make sure that he cannot take your kids out of the country without your permission. IMHO, use his spitefulness to your advantage. Good luck.

By: chubby bunny

chubby bunny — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 02:27:03 +0000

Geoff – thank you for the kind words – I appreciate it. My ex is simply bitter and vengeful that I left him. He was a control freak when we were together, and now he knows that the only way he has of hurting me is to use the children and to hurt me financially. He doesn’t need the money. Last year he made 101,000 from his work, plus 12000 in the Child Tax Benefit. He also has subsidized housing because he’s military and lives on Base. After he pays his rent (which is less than mine, and he has a five bedroom home on a double lot), he has over 6000 dollars take home in disposable income. And no, he doesn’t care that the children can see the way he treats me – he actually trashes me on Facebook, and four of the children are his facebook friends, so they can read when he says he can’t wait for our court date and how he’s going to drive a stake through the vampires heart and he’s going to make sure that he keeps residency of them.

I’m trying very hard to believe that the judge will see what’s going on and make a ruling that will be in the best interests of the children. I’m a good person, and I’ve worked very hard to get back on my feet, put myself through school and start anew. I love my children with all my heart, and my very soul cries over what’s become of our family. Thanks for letting me vent, as I’ve send in other posts, I really have nobody to talk to.

By: Geoff

Geoff — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 22:31:20 +0000

Chubby Bunny – I an in no way meant to imply that you had made some sort of general criticism at all. Not my intention, Kim got my intention

I would however wonder if your husband thinks it’s a good thing for his kids to see their mom, whom they love, put through such hell. Does he need the money, or is he punishing you? If he needs the money, maybe you can work something out. If not, then he should see that what happens to you, affects your kids. I feel for you and your kids and your ex too. Best, -Geoff.

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 00:09:09 +0000

Geoff…though your “apology” was very gentlemanly it was not necessary, I’m sure even those of us who have been burned by our men still realize that most men are decent and bad behavior isn’t just men’s domain. Still I do appreciate the attitude and thoughtful comments the few men on this sight make…keep up the good work guys!

By: chubby bunny

chubby bunny — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 00:08:20 +0000

Geoff – I am absolutely not man-bashing in any way. I know that there are plenty of men out there who would jump through flames for their children. Even my own ex, while he sucked as a husband, loves our children very much, and tries very hard to be a good father. My comments on this site are truly only meant to detail my extreme frustration and (almost) despair at the current financial state that I am in, one which I don’t feel is entirely my fault. Life has kicked me hard in the teeth, but I intend to do the very best I can with the hand I’ve been dealt.

Please don’t think I’m a man-hater. I’m really not. In fact, if you know any good single 40 somethings…send him over, cause I’m getting a little lonely…..jk

By: chubby bunny

chubby bunny — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:59:33 +0000

Suzanne – Unfortunately, this time it’s the Child Support Guidelines that are out of whack. I make $46000/year, which brings me $2816/month take home. We have six children (yes, they are all OURS – no his or hers). The Federal Guidelines say that if he has sole custody of all six of them, I have to pay him $1310/month.

2816 take home minus
1310 support minus
1135 rent

means that I would only have $371 to pay all my bills (utilities, transportation, food, clothing…..EVERYTHING). Like I said, I would have to declare bankruptcy on my CCs, and with only $370, I can forget about access to my kids, because I won’t have any $$$$ to do anything with them. I could change my rental situation (I currently have a two bedroom apartment, nothing fancy) and move into a bedroom in someones home, but still, how do I have six children over to visit? I just have to stand strong and hope that the Judge gives us shared custody. The ex is fighting shared custody, because he knows that if I get it, he will have to pay ME. Sad that he’s putting his finance/material wealth ahead of the wellbeing of the children or supporting their relationship with their mother.

By: Geoff

Geoff — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 17:09:01 +0000

As one of the few men on this forum (it seems predominantly female) I just want to apologize a bit on behalf of my gender and ask that not all readers think that all fathers are negiligent towards their children. – Not that anyone here has suggested that all men are like that at all, just as a dad I hear a lot of first-hand stories like those above, and fail to understand the mindset that could condone behavior like not providing for one’s children.

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:53:26 +0000

Chubby Bunny, your ex is blowing smoke. Not sure what your rent is, but child support is based on income/number of kids. When my ex was ordered to pay, he was making$48K+, and for two teenage boys, I got less than $600/month, which he kept whittling down to suit his situations. Towards the end, he was paying $100 month for the last son, ‘because he could get a part time job to help support himself” while in school. It wasn’t worth the stress to me to take him to Maintenance Enforcement to recoup the $$ he owed. I hope all goes well for you, but go into this prepared with information on averages based on income. Good luck…

By: chubby bunny

chubby bunny — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:54:32 +0000

@Kim and Suzanne – I left everything behind, and I mean EVERYTHING. I walked out with my car (2001) and the clothes on my back. Oh, except I got all the debt because it was my CCs. I even left my children behind because I was making minimum wage and had to go back to school to get a trade to support myself (I knew I couldn’t take care of them at the time). Now that I am done school, and have a decent paying job, albeit 10 grand in debt, I am going to court this month to try and get at least 1/2 custody of my kids. I am sad to admit that I have nothing but bitterness in my heart for him. The bastard is even taking ME to court to try and get $1300/month for child support (after my rent, I only have $1480 left to pay all my bills. If he wins any kind of child support, I will have to file for bankruptcy. I don’t have even one friend that I turn to for support, which is why I am grateful for the ppl that I meet in forums such as this one.

By: Alma

Alma — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 18:20:24 +0000

I am a 42 yr old Stupid romantic GRASS HOPPER. I have not been financially happy for a very long long time. Your financial savvy has helped channel my inner SUPER SAVVY ANT I am now in the know in knowing who I owe how much I owe the differrence in wants and needs. I admit I bought my mason jars a shelf to put it in (I did buy fake money and use it as a physical aid representing my money that is safe in the bank) living in a cash world is not easy but in the end of the day i find a comfort in seeing my money jars. Thank you for lighting my darkness. WHY CAN’T Americans view your videos?

By: 3teensmom

3teensmom — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 16:48:22 +0000

I am pure ant now, and really enjoying seeing my money grow in the bank. I am a single Mom of three (yes 3!) teenagers, so life is hard trying to keep the expenses down, they are all in adult size stuff and there are no discounts when we go anywhere as all kids are over 13. But with lots of creativity and planning, I’m learning how to budget and make them happy too. I think 2010 will be a good year, and I hope it is for everyone else too. Thanks Gail, you really are wonderful sharing with us all the great tips and advice on ways to improve our lives. x

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 15:40:25 +0000

Chubby Bunny, been there done that! But I have found – the best revenge is living well. I now make more money than the ex, and have a more secure life; that in itself is worth the years of crap. I have become an ant, and probably always was deep down, although sometimes there are grasshopper tendencies. After a year of Gail classes, I now know how to recover from the grasshopper antics, and even prepare ahead of time for the deliberate hops. Good living to all for the New Year, may it be what you want it to be.