Creating the Illusion of Scarcity
Posted by Gail | Filed under Take Control
One of the reasons so many people are up to their eyeballs in debt is that they’ve had access to gobs of credit. Whether lenders threw a dozen credit cards at us, offered us big, fat lines of credit, or let us buy now and pay later, we’ve been living a life where we could have whatever we want whenever we want. It’s been a life of abundance.
Then came the economic change. Lenders stopped throwing credit at every Tom, Dick and Mary regardless of their ability to actually pay back that credit. The government got into the swim creating legislation that said lenders couldn’t just raise a person’ credit limit without telling them – further exposing them to credit risk. And people started losing their jobs.
The abundance of the previous years has turned to forced scarcity. Some people took steps to prepare for the worst and are holding on through the tough times. Others have found their debt loads too high and are headed to bankruptcy trustees to see what they can off-load. Still others are just drowning with no idea what to do next.
I’m sad for all the people who can’t keep it together – people who are missing their rent or mortgage payments, falling behind on their car payments, pulling their kids out of their sports or other extra-curricular activities. While things were good and they were constantly being offered more and more credit, they never imagined there would ever be an end to their ability to have what they wanted. I’ve worked with more than a few people who are totally astounded at the place they are currently in. How could this happen? Y’all probably know a body or two who are scratching their heads.
I’m hoping the forced scarcity teaches an extremely important lesson about money: there may not be more money, and you better have some set aside just in case. It doesn’t take a world economic crisis to throw a body’s budget into a tailspin if you have no money saved. It only takes a few weeks off work with a sick child, a call to jury duty, or a cut-back in your hours at work to make a house of cards fall down.
I wonder how many people will actually learn the lesson. I wonder how many people will go back to spending every cent they make as soon as the economy gets back on its feet. And I wonder if anyone has figured out that you can create your own sense of scarcity to keep you constantly on your toes when it comes to managing your money.
Abundance has a way of permeating our very being and making us feel invulnerable. But we are all vulnerable, whether we want to accept that fact or not. And creating the illusion of scarcity may be what it takes to stay true to a sound financial plan.
I’m not talking about creating such a sense of scarcity that you’re always whining about what you can’t do or can’t have. And I’m not suggesting you use the illusion of scarcity to cheap out on life. But if you’re the kind of creature who routinely spends every penny she makes, maybe you need to implement the illusion of scarcity to keep yourself in check. And maybe if you move your money where you can’t touch it, leaving yourself with less to “blow” on stuff, you’ll actually end up achieving some of those goals that have always been so elusive.
How do you create the illusion of scarcity. Well…
First, you make a budget that balances. You transfer all the money that must be used to pay your fixed and variable expenses to a “house” account, so you know those bills are covered and you can’t spend that money on stuff.
Second, you set some goals you want to achieve. It may be paying down your mortgage annually, taking a fabulous family vacation, or going back to school.
Third, you set up savings accounts for each of the goals you want to achieve and have the money you want to save moved automatically to those accounts so that money is out of sight.
Now you only have money left in your first account that you can actually spend on all that crap you so love to buy: coffee, lunches out, another tool, magazines, DVDs, more clothes… name your weakness here. For me it’s houseplants and books. When I look at the money in my account, because I’ve made most of it disappear to places I don’t look regularly, I’m more cautious about just how I blow what’s left. I prioritize. I consciously decide to spend (or not to spend) the money. I don’t feel like I have so much money I’ll never run out so I can just have this one little thing.
And that’s the point of creating the illusion of scarcity: to recognize that money is an exhaustible resource so you better be sure your spending isn’t just a knee-jerk reaction to your sense of abundance.
November 26, 2009 at 7:50 am
Not only is money a finite resource but so is health. My grandparents grew up before social safety nets and antibiotics. Basic tenets of hygiene that seem so miraculous to us now are habits that are entrenched in them. The same with money, if you lost your job or you had one more child, you got another job. You saved money for a rainy day because you knew it would rain.
Even now that they are retired and financially stable, they still stock up on hamburger and toilet paper when it’s on sale.
For us, our biggest scarcity is space. We bought a smaller house than we could afford at the time because I insisted it be something we could pay off with one income. Then I was on mat leave. Then hubby was laid off. So while we regroup, we still sleep at night because we have a big fat emergency fund. The space issue also prevents us from buying stuff because where would we put it?
Yes our children will have to share a room, but what’s wrong with learning to share?
November 26, 2009 at 8:14 am
Creating this illusion has been very effective for us. I think the magic of the jars is that it puts scarcity right in your face. If you go to grab $20 from the entertainment jar, you see exactly what that leaves you for the rest of the week. I l love my ING savings account for this too-the money is automatically taken out of my regular account, just like a bill, and sits out of sight, out of mind (except for the peace of mind of knowing that it’s there for a nasty situation). It’s so much simpler too-less stress knowing that you’re only spending money you can afford to spend.
November 26, 2009 at 8:32 am
I’m 1/3 of the way to my goal of having an emergency fund that will pay for 9 months of expenses if I lose my job without other income supports, well over a year of expenses if I had to go on EI and that’s without cutting back on the expenses. It would cushion even more of a period of hard times if I cut expenses while collecting other income supports like EI.
But, 5 years ago I would not be in this place. Even 2 years ago, I would not be in this place. Learning from Gail’s show and getting great tips from people who write on this blog has helped me correct my bad money habits, and some of my bad life habits. I’m now not so cluttered in my life – I’ve cleaned up my finances and now I’m purging stuff which amazingly enough has been quite uplifting. The clutter is going and I can see clearly now.
November 26, 2009 at 9:43 am
I love this strategy of allocating money immediately for various categories, but for me, conceptualizing regular expenses, retirement saving, emergency saving, planned spending, and then seeing what is left over has created a feeling of wealth, not scarcity. I was pretty good at creating scarcity myself, saving for the second Flood, and always feeling anxious that I wasn’t saving enough. I know that life can still throw a curve ball and really set us back, but I feel like I have prepared for a fairly substantial rainfall and I can loosen my grip on the purse strings a little.
November 26, 2009 at 9:48 am
I think this is a great discussion on what happens when we build houses on false pretenses. The experts are telling us we aren’t out of the woods yet because our economy was built on credit. Here’s the thing though, us Tom, Dick and Mary’s are making steps towards returning the money we borrowed and helping in our way, but what about all those deficit’s the governments, large corporations and the like have…when are they going to do their part.
My grandparents grew up before all this credit and borrowing really took hold. My mother’s generation was the Big Borrow so they could have what my grandparents worked hard for, I am in a generation of Serious Debt, learning from the previous generation that now is always better than later and I shouldn’t have to wait, and the one coming right behind me is even more in Debt because of this issue. Obviously there are exceptions, but on a whole this is the way of things. Thus we’ve hit a particularly hard recession because we insist on building on fiction and the corporations get bailed out for their mistakes, but the general consumer is told “too bad for you!”
I find it very interesting that large companies get to borrow more, and the people who actually make the world go ’round get told pay up or get out!
I’ll be glad when everyone starts to pay back their borrowed dollars and begins to live on real money.
November 26, 2009 at 10:23 am
I have seen lots of comments about credit cards and their evils but I also see comments from people who pay all their bills by credit card extolling the virtues of such as they get points, warranties extended etc through the use of the credit cards.
maybe better if the cards were left out of the equation altogether.
After all nothing is free and its added or shall I say hidden in your purchases.
So much of a percentage is built into the price your freebies are not free.
I have found I get much better prices buying with cash for larger ticket items almost always than by a credit card.
Very rare is the instance that I don’t.
This is where perhaps some of these unfortunate consumers got started doing it thru credit card for its supposed benefit and then one day couldn’t pay it down for whatever reason.
Just don’t use them in the first place and you can never get into trouble that way.
November 26, 2009 at 10:26 am
Well said Gail….again….as usual.
My husband is and has always been the type that spends every penny in the bank. There is no rainy day for him. We make good money for our area and he is in a government job, so the banks throw credit at us.
I am the saver and so every pay I go into the account pay bills and then put some in another account for that rainy day. Sometimes I have to dip into it but other times by the time the next pay comes around there is still money in this account and it then gets put on bills or into savings.
My husband knows this happens but out of sight out of mind I guess. It works for us and we are finally working towards getting out of debt.
November 26, 2009 at 10:35 am
This message has really hit home for me. I hate owing money, and yet somehow have gotten myself into a decent hole (13k in total between consumer debt and car loans, not to mention the student loans). I really woke up this month and have decided to sell the SUV, pay off the consumer debt and by myself a nice little used car with cash. It will really open up some breathing room for me and I am looking forward to only having the mortgage and student loan debt to contend with!
November 26, 2009 at 10:59 am
This is something I plan to start doing. While we aren’t spending every penny we bring in, we could be doing better by hiding some money away for a rainy day. This is a great idea Gail.
regards,
Jason
November 26, 2009 at 11:50 am
Another great blog article. A year ago, this would have been me that Gail is describing – spending money I didn’t have, signing up for 24 months without paying, etc etc. But thanks to Gail I have eliminated all debt and now put all my money into various ING accounts automatically (new car, vacation, spending, emergency) so that I’m not tempted to spend money that I really want to put away for designated purposes.
Since I do have a budget that balances I feel as though I’m living through a scarcity mentality right now, but it is comfortable knowing that I am taking the necessary steps to protect myself and my family if the you know what ever hits the fan.
November 26, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I guess great (or crazy) minds think alike. I had similar ideas about artificial scarcity. I think many people would benefit from different ways of creating a feeling that money is tight for certain types of purchases.
November 26, 2009 at 12:21 pm
One surprising (to me) benefit of creating the illusion of scarcity with Gail’s zero-balance budget is that the real and opportunity costs of doing something are apparent. If I spend the money in the clothing/gifts category on X, I won’t have it for Y. I’ve learned that I can have everything I want, just not all at the same time, and I can’t want everything! It’s made me much more selective and as a result when I do spend money on ‘wants’ I enjoy it more. We used to eat out several times a week, for example, but it certainly stopped being special enough to enjoy. Now it’s a much rarer experience, and more valued as a result.
November 26, 2009 at 12:25 pm
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2009/11/26/11931836-sun.html
Say it ain’t so Gail.
November 26, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I find that now I’m putting money into actual ‘planned spending’ like entertainment and clothing/gifts, I really, REALLY hate taking it out, even though I DID spend on entertaining and clothing/gifts on my cc the month prior! Ah well, I guess it’s the whole point of having the accounts to deposit and take from, but I’d love to see more than one acocunt (the EF) grow continually without having to be subtracted from every month. I think not having the cash at the ready in my regular bank account has made me think twice about the spending, even though I know the other 2 accounts are meant to be taken from for the odd pizza or new winter boots for the kids and such.
I think with the balanced budget of equal in/equal out, I’ve succeeded in creating my own illusion of scarcity when I see nothing left in the old bank account the day after pay day (because it’s all been allotted to savings/cc payments/planned spending accts)!
November 26, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I have noticed that, since my husband and I have been taking a monthly allowance, I am much more careful with how I spend my $100/month. All of a sudden I’m not willing to have take-out for lunch every Friday and I don’t need to stop for coffee before every soccer game (I’m taking my mug from home to the field now). Instead, I’m saving for a new pair of jeans or shoes…and I’m finding that I often have $20-$30 left over at the end of the month.
Now I have a name for what I’m practicing. SCARCITY!
November 26, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Great idea, Gail–and one that we have implemented. I LOVE the automatic transfers to our ING accounts. Out of sight, out of mind…and working towards goals (some spending, some saving) to boot!
I just wanted to add that creating this sense of scarcity is even more important to those of us who are self-employed. The feast-or-famine nature of working for yourself can make it far too tempting to spend unconsciously during the feast times.
November 26, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Re:John Smith
Checked out the link. Article sounds like what I would expect from a show called “Princess” with Gail as the host. A young woman complaining that she had to live in reality and didn’t get the prize for her hardship. I can’t wait to see the episode.
November 26, 2009 at 2:10 pm
In actual fact before reading today’s blog I did not even know what the concept of the “illusion of scarcity” was but apparently I have been using it very successfully for the past few years. I am thrilled to finally understand what I am doing. And it works.
I need a new pair of winter boots since the Dawg pierced mine with his claws as he stepped on my foot in his panic to get away from the dangerously insane squirrel who lives in our yard. He (the dog not the squirrel) weighs about a hundred pounds so did a good job.
Right now my boots are plugged with a blob of silicone and they will do until there is enough money in the clothing budget. I accept this but last month when we were shopping I priced out the boots I want just to see how close I was getting. The Hubster said get them now but I said there was no money yet. The next day he came home in a huff and showed me the ATM receipt he got that day when he withdrew the week’s jar money. He said “What do you mean we don’t have any money for boots – our balance is over $5000!” I said “ Ya? What’s your point? The balance is not reality and has nothing to do with what we have to spend”. You would have thought I had smacked him in the face with a dead mackerel.
Now, I do all the finances but at least once a month I tie him down to a chair and go over the whole thing with him. He hates this and I have to keep tasering him to keep him focused but I really thought he got it. Apparently the sight of a big balance on our chequing account instantly wipes out every thing that we have discussed and planned and learned over the past few years. The old habits are not as dead and gone as I thought.
When he saw the balance all he thought about was – wow look at how much money we have to spend! He completely forgot that we are now sane and mature and responsible people who budget and that most of this money was earmarked for specific needs like the mortgage, car insurance, food, savings etc. and that the rest was in storage for specific wants.
Being a person of immense patience and self control I showed him the budget yet AGAIN and he agreed that the clothing budget did not quite stretch to the boots but then he suggested that I just rob the planned spending account to make up for the scarcity of funds in the clothing account. A slippery slope even with new boots with anti-slip-tarantula brand-rubber treads. Once you go back to shifting funds from one thing to pay for another you quickly end up back in the situation where you have to go into debt to make up for what is missing.
My lecture on this did not quite convince. And I did not hit him. I was reaching for a pen and my arm cramped and spasm-ed. A calcium deficiency that will be rectified next jar day when I buy our vitamin and mineral supplements.
What finally worked was agreeing to rob the planned spending account for my boots and thanking him. What for? he wanted to know. For letting me use some of the money we were saving for a new computer for my new boots. Suddenly he understood and agreed that it was a very bad thing to take money out of the planned spending account to artificially shore up the clothing account.
I actually caught him checking out the budget spread sheet two days ago. He said he was just making sure that we had enough money saved up for our property taxes. Sure. Do I look gullible? He doesn’t even remember when we pay property taxes let alone how much we need. And besides I found the computer brochures when I accidentally broke into his briefcase.
November 26, 2009 at 3:29 pm
@ Maureen Thanks so much for your message. Your way with words is terrific. I have a visual of the conversation and its not unlike one that has happened in our house. You made me laugh and I appreciate that.
I struggle with planned scarcity, but I’m getting better. I also like seeing the EF grow and once the money is in there, I don’t want to take it out.
Thanks Gail for the great messages and to everyone who contributes here. It sure helps keep me on track and provide me with the strength to keep enforcing all these positive behaviours. Some days are a struggle and some are easier than others. That’s life!
Also loved your toaster post Maureen. Thanks
November 26, 2009 at 5:12 pm
We have a savings account for extra moneys left over from our regular bills. For example we always budget $140.00 for our electrical bill and in the summer it is often only about $110.00 we then take the extra $30.00 and put it away so in the winter when the bill can be more like $170.00 we are not scrambling to find the extra cash.
November 26, 2009 at 8:42 pm
So I was driving to work early this a.m. when I heard a radio advert. from Manulife. Not sure I heard correctly but it sounds like with them you can put your mortgage, loans, credit cards all in one fell swoop and pay a lower amount per month. I groaned thinking is this a good idea???
Good blog Gail! We here have all learned so much from you! Thank you!
November 26, 2009 at 9:30 pm
[...] Original post: Creating the Illusion of Scarcity « gailvazoxlade.com [...]
November 27, 2009 at 2:01 am
I have been a go lucky bachelor thinking that I have a nice full time without facing the reality that my consumer debts and mortgage are just right behind me like my own shadow. This year, thanks to Gail, finally, after watching her show many times on TV- her info hits me and now I become more financially concious. I have paid almost $10,000 into my cc just from the past 6 months. My financial goal now is to clear my consumer debts (cc & car loans) in less than 3 years. Of course, I have to sacrifice a lot of my miscellaneous habits and activities but it is about the right time now. Start with short term goals and every little success adds up to meet your longer term goals. Further, I have set aside emergency and savings accounts for future and unpredictable expenses. No more credit cards…..Again, thank you Gail. I know I am on the right track now financially.
November 27, 2009 at 2:37 am
[...] Vaz-Oxlade discusses Creating the Illusion of Scarcity, an interesting spin on things, but maybe a little [...]
November 27, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I dont usually like the idea of creating illusions…I am a very REALISM kinda girl but in this case I see what Gail is saying and in this case I dont mind acting like money isnt there at times…so that I actually have some!
November 27, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Wow! Maureen ur hubby sounds like mine… So when
he worked extra & got bigger cheque he thought he
had more cash to blow. When I needed to remind him
that we already spent it & now paying cc bac which
he doesn’t care to think of it.
We havegone a long way
since last Dec. When we started using jar system. His
finally accepted debit cards r to cash cheque & pay bills
only. Then they r put away for next payday!
He actually finally has seen that saving for bigger
purchases makes u feel ur ahead of game. Since I
always say do we have cash for it?? Few months
bac he looks for that he got a deal & jumps for joy.
While I’m happy that his on board the wagon.
Yes, there will always be those hubbys that doesn’t
want to look at budget every time spendalholics but
if we show them saving a good thing. The spenders
will very slowly seethe light at other side of saving is
way better than having the cc bill hanging on ur own
shoulders when u want & don’t need to buy something
else. I’m sooo proud of those spenders changing since
it sure ishard too change yrs of bad spending habits. We
all splurge at least once a yr!!
November 27, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Maureen, as usual, you put a realistic spin on the ‘unique’ way men have of thinking of money. I have long since come to replace the term ‘broke’ with ’secure’. Immediately after payday, I go online and pay my bills, go buy gas with my debit card to get the 7.5 cents/litre coupon, top up whatever groceries we need and whatever is left is what is left to last till the next paydate. While there may not be much, I know that we are ’secure’ in that all the bills are current, there is gas to get to work, and food to last. The new second part time job is paying to have my horse broke to ride, add more dollars to my student loan debt, build an emergency fund, and planned savings for a newer vehicle next year. I just returned from my uncle’s funeral, and putting almost 1200K on my ‘old’ van in the past three days – an unprepared for trip, so the EF had to take another back seat. But, I still have the plan in place to play catch up. Since I now get a paycheque every week between the two jobs, I will have to make sure that I don’t feel entitled to splurge on things I might ‘need’. I keep reminding myself that I am a grown up and that I NEED to have money put aside for emergencies – more trips to elderly relative’s funerals most likely. But speaking of dogs and boots, my beautiful Golden Retriever decided this past year to (out of the blue) eat not one, but two right feet boots from two different pair of lace-up Roper (western) boots! One pair I have had for 13 years and of course are my favorites. Recently, since I hadn’t thrown this pair out yet, I decided that I would try to wear them, since she only ate the part that goes up the leg. They work just fine, and since the jeans cover them, no one would even know the boot cuff is missing!! It took me two years to find the other pair, so this way, I have time to save up the $150 another pair will likely cost me. On a closing note, this post brings to mind the ‘glass half full/empty’ mentality. Life is what you make it – I am not broke – I am happily secure….
November 28, 2009 at 6:04 pm
I have been doing this to a certain extent already, but have started to further the process now that I am in the process of switching from a bank to a credit union. Instead of transferring from my checking to the house account I am having my employer split my paycheck deposits into the two accounts. For my home expenses I transfer enough for the worst month of the year every month. Anything I don’t use each month then goes to savings.
November 30, 2009 at 6:57 pm
@Donna: What can I say – ya gotta laugh cause crying just makes you want chocolate. I love the Hubster but sometimes I am shocked and awed by his male mind – just as he is completely confused by my female logic. But then we look at each other and giggle. When you listen (or as the Hubster calls it “earwaggle”) it is amazing how often you hear a conversation between two people that you know you have had yourself. We are all more alike than we know. To be fair we both struggled a lot in the beginning but I now never lose sight of the ball. He can be distracted by shiny things – and squirrels. I love to see our emergency fund growing too -there is nothing like that feeling of security – and the only way money is coming out of it is for a true emergency. That is one reason I love the planned spending account. You can have your dreams and it is fun and exciting to watch as you get closer and closer to success. And there is nothing like that feeling you get when you get your dream and you pay cash for it. Beats the instant gratification and future regret of a credit card purchase any day, hands down.
@ SunshineBud If our guys sound alike then they are also like a lot of other men I know. In fact looking back I can honestly say the only men I know are either spenders or misers. They are black or white or in the red but no gray at all. On the other hand the women are either spenders or many different shades of gray. You have come a long way since last December and from my own experience I know that changing bad habits is hard work but the longer you practice the Gail way of living the easier it gets and the stronger your whole life gets.
@Susanne I am upgrading my vocabulary thanks to you. I love the idea of replacing the word “broke” with “secure”. I tend to use a lot of catastrophic language and using the word “broke” to describe our lives is one of things that I still do regularly. And it is not true anymore. We are not broke. We may not have any spare cash right now but we are secure. Budgeting, saving, planning and not using credit has not left us poor. In fact we are richer now than we have ever been in our lives. Sure, there are things that we have to wait to do but we are beginning to find out that there is nothing that we can’t do – eventually. You are working so hard at all the Gail-to-Do stuff. I am so sorry that you have had this recent loss. I hope that life will be kind and give you some time off to play catchup before the next emergency. Love the boots story. I used to work at Eatons with a girl who was our display designer. She eventually became my neighbour – buying the most run down house you have ever seen. Within a month she had transformed the inside. I was amazed but she said it is all smoke and mirrors and isn’t meant to be permanent. Just showing off the good and hiding the bad until she could afford to do it right. My place never looked that good even when we did it right.
December 2, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Maureen, and all posters, it is amazing how your mindset changes with a few word changes. I changed broke to secure when my son used to complain after payday that we were broke – again. I patiently explained to him where every penny had gone, and that we had $X available to ___ date to cover anything that came up. The utility bills were paid, groceries bought, etc., so while we did not have a lot of money, we did not NEED a lot of money. The whole point of having a paycheque, I told him, was to cover your necessities, put some away, and keep some ‘on hand’ for whatevers. The whole point of having a budget (insert spending plan here) is to know exactly where your money is going, why, and when some will be needed again. Son is a clever boy, and even with paying his mother rent (yep, I make him) he plans what he is going to spend his meager pay on, and the words “I don’t have any major purchases planned” have come out once in a while. While we were working together (my second part time job, to go with the real full time job), cleaning Boston Pizza, we would occasionally go to McD’s on the way home with our ‘found’ money and buy $1.39 Sausage McMuffins. I still smile when I remember D.J. say “I can’t wait till we can afford to get the egg with our McMuffin”; Actually, I busted out laughing, then explained that it cost $1.60 more for the egg, and you could buy a dozen for $2, and he said, but you have to cook it “just” right…. So, our last day of BP’s, I splurged and bought us both a Sausage McMuffin – with egg! Now, only juggling two jobs will seem like a piece of cake, and son has had a taste of a paycheque, so hope he is inspired to continue on the employed path.
December 2, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Words are enormously powerful. That old saying “sticks and stones” is really wrong. Words CAN hurt you and they can shape the way you think and they paint pictures. I had never heard of the term “to use catastrophic language” but once I heard it and learned what it meant I was amazed at just how often I used it and thus shaped my thoughts and the events in my life. One example – “this has been the worst day of my life” got used all the time and it really wasn’t. But it sets you up to think about things in a certain way. And one reason why I had a weight problem all my life was the use of the phrase “I’m starving!”. Ya. Not even remotely possible for me to reach that stage for at least six months of no eating. And yet the use of these words and the feelings they create led me to over eating. I purged that phrase and replaced it with “I feel a bit peckish” and it has worked to the tune of 110 pounds. Saying I’m broke sets up an image of disaster whereas saying I’m secure sets up an image of success.
One of the best pieces of advice that Gail has given is concerning making your children pay rent so that they do not get used to having the kind of disposable income that does not exist out in the real world. A perfect way of teaching the illusion of scarcity. IF ONLY all parents would do this. Mine did not do this because they felt it was their duty to support us (probably would have done until they were in their 90’s and we were in our 60’s) and because they would have been ashamed to ask for money from their kids. What a disaster. Doing what they thought was good was really a bad idea. Neither my sister nor I had a clue. I was clueless but learned the slow and hard way whereas Sis is still not clued in. You are doing your son a great service. I mentioned what Gail said to a friend who had both her adult kids return home and she has actually started to charge them room and board. She is putting the money away for them in a savings account but they don’t know this.
Sometimes the little splurges and pleasures mean a lot more than the big ones. We used to buy champagne for our anniversary – the real stuff – but always on credit of course. The year when we were broke (really broke and so deep in debt that security was just a dream) we went for a walk on the beach. Free entertainment. I did not know that the Hubster had been putting all his nickles aside and had saved up a dollar. We bought a bottle of Swiss Cream soda and sat on the shore wall sharing that bottle and I cannot remember ever tasting anything better.
December 2, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Maureen, I’ll bet that Swiss Cream soda is now your all time favorite!! I read in Reader’s Digest once about a young woman who went to her mom’s to do laundry, and was quite ticked that her mom charged her the same as a laundromat would have, but mom’s was more convenient for the grandchildren, etc. A year or two later, mom presented daughter with a new washer and dryer, bought with the money she had charged, and saved up on behalf of said daughter. Imagine her delight, and shame at calling her mother those names under her breath!!! My grandmother saved her quarters, and bought me a bike when I was a child. As one of her 15 grandchildren, I now wonder if she bought one for each of the three families, cuz I am sure that I wasn’t that special to get the only one. I don’t know you Maureen, but feel that I do through your posts, and am so proud of your accomplishments over the past while to Debt Free. I have a ways to go yet, but feel hopeful and committed to be there – eventually. I would love to converse with you for more tips and hints of your wisdom, if you have the time (hobby_horses57@hotmail.com). For the record, people who do not charge their adult children who live at home some amount for rent are just plain nuts. Those ‘kids’ usually expect you to do their laundry and clean up after them too. Not in this lifetime!! I am all for teaching them lessons about the real world, and getting them ready to fly away from the nest. Right now, I am about to convince son that the kitchen needs cleaning…..