The best thing anyone can do after something like this, is to work hard and succed, this shows the family that you are not easily beaten down and you will rise above all that is thrown your way.

Angela and Tracy, I hope things are better for you now, I wish you both all the very best in life. Thanks.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you want it bad enough, you can do it through what ever means possible!
AND:
If you want something in your estate taken care of, MAKE SURE you have it in WRITING!!!!! Don’t trust anyone, money can make people do strange things.

Here is what happened to us – My husband and I have worked and taken care of ourselves since we were 13 year’s old – sewing, lawn care, window washing, car washing, cashiers, etc etc, all while we were studying until we graduated and got jobs in our fields.

After we got married, we decided to move to Canada, from the UK and had 2 accounts, one savings and one chequing that my in laws convinced my husband to hand over to them, so if we needed money from UK, they would withdraw some and send it over to us in Canada. {Just a note – we did not have separate accounts eg one for my husband and one for me, we pooled our money together only separating it into savings and chequeing, it works for us}.

WELL! That was the end of that – we never saw the money again! Every time he would ask for the money, they would reply – what accounts? we have no accounts of yours! Of course that devestated us, and we were left penniless, and in a new country and had to start all over again – this was 13 years ago. And we had a 4 year old in tow! And we were in our late 30’s.

Part of the in-laws plan was to keep us poor and in control. As my father-in -law said to me with a manacing look in his eye – you will come begging on your knees to me for money! And I just looked at him and did not say anything out of respect, but in my heart, I was saying – that day will never come, I rather eat bread and water than come to you!

After working hard for 13 years in Canada, we now have a comfortable home, a car, and a resonable bank account. Then the in-laws came to visit.

They were not happy! Oh no, they were very angry and could not belive we had pulled ourselves out of the plan they had hatched out for us. They tried to tell my husband – oh remember when we bought you this and did that for you, etc etc and they would try and take credit for what we had done in Canada and the UK.

Finally there was a blow out one evening and my husband had it out with them saying – you are most welcome in my home, but DO NOT, EVER point to anything in this house and take credit for it. My wife and I worked for everything here, from the sewing needles in this house, to the car in the garage, to the plates you are eating off from this minute, so don’t sit here and fluff your feathers, when you know the truth of what you did to us and how you left us penniless and broke with a 4 year old and in a new country!

That shut them up real quick and to this day, they do not dare take credit for our success in front of my husband. They try and fluff their feathers in front of me, but I just ignore them and that just drives them crazy!

They are always hatching plans to de-rail us – and will come up with things like – oh we have no money, we can’t afford this, etc. And my husband will turn around and say – sorry, you have 3 other sons, how about asking them, cause I don’t have anything to give.

So Angela, I agree with you, NEVER NEVER NEVER take anything from anyone, even if it is your own blood. We ate bread and soup for many many months to make it, you can do it too and trust me, it tastes a lot better because you know you bought it and made it, it was not given to you!

Just a note – in case you are wondering about my parents – they were in Africa and they were ill, so we did not want to involve them in this as they were already having a hard time making ends meet with medical bills.

I LOVE how you say – It’s a nasty kind of business – cause it sure is! You can make it, if I can make it, you can make it!
Thanks.

A few years ago, my uncle and my grandma decided to buy a condo together. My uncle had gone though some financial difficulties because his business had failed and had to sell his home as a result; and my grandma fell sorry for her son for not being a property owner. They ended up hating each other. Shortly after uncle said that he would send grandma to a nursing home (a threat… grandma wasn’t “sick” enough to be admitted into a nursing home at that point), grandma slipped in the bathroom inside said condo, suffered a heart attack, and died. Grandma had used almost all her saving for this condo. Besides the condo, she left no estate. My uncle rightfully owned the condo so there was nothing for the rest of the family to do. I always feel bad about grandma dying that way… and most people in my family blamed my uncle for grandma’s death (and the fact that there was no estate left behind).

Now, I make sure that my parents would not “help” me financially. Oh yes, they want to “help” me very much. But I know for a fact that they don’t save enough for retirement. And in the future I don’t want to get into the argument about how much I “owe” them for my “success” (i.e., owning a car or a property). It’s a nasty kind of business.