Comments on: All or Nothing

By: emb

emb — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:09:27 +0000

Gail, you are a wise soul. One of the things I like best about you is your emphasis on balance. That, and your laughter!

By: Risa

Risa — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:58:56 +0000

Cynthia, It can be very difficult for folks who grew up poor to understand when they do, in fact, have enough money to enjoy life. While I didn’t grow up poor, both my parents did–my mother especially–and it informed their parenting and the messages I got growing up. My mom, a baby boomer, grew up in the North End of Winnipeg without a car, TV, or bathtub, and there sometimes wasn’t enough food to go around. Both her parents were deaf; granddad had a grade 6 education and worked long hours as a janitor. It was not a life of privilege. Mom got her first job waitressing at age 12 (lying about her age) and her first purchases were a watch, a bicycle (both related to getting to work on time) and a dresser. So she, to this day, has a hard time feeling she has enough to enjoy the finer things in life, and I never learned how to budget and plan for fun. But with Gail’s system I have learned to do this. You can teach an old dog new tricks!

By: moneymagnet

moneymagnet — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:25:54 +0000

The “all or nothing” way of life is filled with potholes for sure. I have found that when I go on a ‘clothing fast’ – I’m good for awhile and then I binge shop. Instead, my budget now allows for a monthly clothing allowance which I find works for me. It might be slightly higher than what others allot – but I’m frugal in other areas, such as eating out. As mentioned by others, it’s MY money and I can spend it how I see fit as long as I have a balanced approach – make bills, save for retirement, save for EF and save a little for fun.

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:08:55 +0000

The new blog looks great, but is it possible to darken and enlarge the font?

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:59:47 +0000

i don’t understand people who deprive themselves of things when they can afford them. I have seen too many people save and save and save only to die and not have done anything: travel, use their good china, their good furniture, etc. Today was a good example of not depriving myself of something I wanted, I paid cash. It’s a fundraiser at work for Pashmina (sp?) scarves. I purchased 3. One for my friend for christmas, one for my mom for Christmas, and one for me.

By: Megan

Megan — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:37:06 +0000

All or Nothing … hmm I don’t think I have ever done “Nothing”
Except for when my ex and I split up and I was faced with alot of unexpected expenses so I managed to live bare bones for 3 or 4 months.
I am a firm believer in enjoying life while your here and you can’t take money with you when you die, but I am also a firm believer in saving money and living within your means.
My fiance and I were talking last night about our upcoming wedding and honeymoon. We have all the money there to pay for it but I was trying to think of ways we can save ourselves money (as I often do). I knew there wasn’t much room in the wedding budget to decrease anything as I am realistic and already have the lower end of the numbers in there. So we decided that instead of taking 100% of the wedding expenses out of our savings we were going to try and pay for 30% out of our chequing and 70% out of our savings. I knew when we decided this (since I know our budget and expense like the back of my hand) the only room for movement on our budget is entertainment , food (incl. eating out) and clothing, gifts, etc. So basically we agreed to spend the next 7 months entertaining ourselves very cheaply and really dive deep into batch cooking, etc. We are going to be spending alot of time at home which is okay since we spent the last year renovating we will be able to enjoy our new home.

By: Risa

Risa — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:26:25 +0000

Oh Gail, how I love your blog! Financial common sense and bits of philosophical wisdom to boot! Awesome! I’m adding this to my fave list of quotes. (Yeah, I keep a computer file. I’m ok with being a geek):

It is when we start to find the grays that we realize that aiming for perfection is a fool’s game. If you always aim for “all” or “nothing”, you end up with “nothing” a lot.

Having ‘planned spending’ jars (accounts) has been incredibly helpful for us, and a good many of those jars are about having fun and balance in our life (e.g, travel, gifts). I don’t think I’ve ever been able to ENJOY the things we do that cost money as much as I do now, now that I know we can afford it.

By: Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:49:24 +0000

We track our money carefully, and manage to live nicely on less than we earn. The most empowering thing we have done, however, is set aside money for travel, hobbies, etc. in our savings. Now when I get grouchy about the need to save, my husband can gently remind me that we haven’t touched the travel money yet. I am balancing the desire to save with the “spending” part of planned spending. This keeps a nice balance in our lives!

By: *pol

*pol — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:49:01 +0000

Right on Gail! I am glad you brought that up today. I was feeling some guilt over buying a couple remote control cars for my boys yesterday. They were second hand, for a great price, and they were even on their Christmas Lists last year (but I hated the price brand new, so this was a great find)! However, I still felt foolish bringing them home (as if they need ANOTHER RC car!). Entertainment is the category that will go under, and I am sure they will have a great time with them.

And I agree with Anne above, I get a lot of pleasure anticipating the purchases as I research and save up for them. By the time I get them I truly appreciate the reward for my efforts.

By: Anna

Anna — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:11:30 +0000

I have always remembered Gail’s lesson on “thoil”- I can afford it but I can’t justify the expense.My friends often bug me about not buying “stuff”. They reason that since I can afford it why shouldn’t I buy it? I can go months without making any purchases other than necessities for my household. But when I do find something I think is worth the money – I tend to go big.Overseas holidays, gifts for my neice and nephew, and I just bought a netbook. I get a lot of pleasure in researching my purchase and looking for the best price and timing. I think that’s why it doesn’t bother me to save for it. The anticipation is so rewarding.

By: Big Cajun Man

Big Cajun Man — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:45:21 +0000

THe Protestant/Puritanical Work Ethic, of Work Hard, stay out of Debt and you will be rewarded (in the next life), seems very harsh at times, however, right now we seem to have let the pendulum swing in the other direction and are now living the, “Live Now, Pay Later” ethic, which isn’t good either.

Balance in life is what the goal should be. Find the Fulcrum and then Balance.

By: Rebecca S

Rebecca S — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:12:00 +0000

I was struggling with this BIG TIME until I finally realized that I was getting no where by denying myself of all fun and then getting so debt fatigued that I would run out and spend a ton at once. Now I have an ING account set up and its called ME money, lol. Every pay check, money gets sent to this account and generally I let it build. So when my best friend who know lives 5 hours away came into town this weekend, the money was there to go out for dinner and drinks. Its really a great feeling!

By: Amelia

Amelia — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:22:17 +0000

“Everything in moderation, including moderation”- Oscar Wilde. And I agree with MP too that self-control does not mean denial. I ran into that problem at work except that it was with cookies. Through years of yummy trial and error I came up with a recipe that is healthier, but people, they’re still cookies! Coworkers on diets would eat as many as they could since they were “healthier”; they really thought it was all or nothing and then the guilt monster sets in. It’s the same with a budget, the cookies (entertainment budget) is healthier because it is smaller than it was, so go ahead and use it guilt free. Or save it up and go for a big purchase guilt free.

By: chris

chris — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:04:49 +0000

Gail – right on! I recently had a lesson in balance myself. I’ve been voluntarily paying about 40% of my take home to aggressively eliminate my student loans, which of course meant that after food, rent and other necessities, there wasn’t much left over for fun. prwdictably, I kept on going over budget, when I’d go out for a meal here or a drink there and not have the money budgeted to pay for the fun that I clearly love to have. As of very recently, I now have a wedding to plan for next year, as well as potential moving expenses. Trying to squeeze more out of my budget was threatening my sanity, so I adjusted my loan payments to a lower level that would see me continue to make progress on getting rid of them but also allow me to save for my priorities (and not have to borrow), maintain my contributions to RRSPs and my emergency fun, and also have a bit more fun. Becoming debt free is important to me, but I need to do it on a plan that is realistic and sustainable – balance is key!

By: Diana

Diana — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:42:06 +0000

Suzanne, sorry to hear about your uncle.
Don’t fret about putting off the jars until next month, just know that you will be amazed at the amount of money that you will feel like you have when you start using cash and you will be on track faster than you realize when you start paying attention to the holes that $$ is slipping through.

Entertainment is important, luckily when you have small children they are easily amused by goofy cheap stuff like playing in puddle or making cookies or roasting weiners in the fireplace.
Even as adults we can alter our perception of entertainment ie: go out for a weekend breakfast instead of dinner, walk in the local park and then have coffee…etc, etc.
At the end of my two weeks when I am re-filling my envelopes, I divvy up the leftover money. If there are $50 bills left over from my “Other” and “Gift” envelopes, they go into my “Christmas” envelope, $20 bills left from my transportation envelope go into my “Car” envelope (for tires, tune ups, etc) and the smaller fives, loonies/toonies go into my “leftover” envelope for those times when I need a little extra for something. It pays for those times when my son needs some extra, or the Girl Guides come around with cookies, or I am having people for dinner and am spending a bit more for special treats…or even if I just want to treat myself to something ’cause I am tired of being thrifty. Knowing I have a “stash” makes me feel less constrained and like I am cheating only the money has already been alotted for. (I admit I am not one of the really strict budgeters and don’t write down every purchase. I just use up my envelope moneys without dipping into any of my bank accounts. )