One of the hardest things to do is let go of a dream. People have all sorts of stuff hanging around their houses taking up space because those folks are still trying to hold on to a dream. Maybe you thought it would be great to learn the guitar. There the guitar sits, in its case, along with music, a tuner and a capo – never used, just taking up space. Or perhaps you planned on sewing new curtains, cushions, comforters for your home. The sewing machine sits idle reminding you of all the things you should have done or failed to do.
There are all the scrapbooking supplies that you look at wistfully as you wish you had the time to get all those memories organized. There are the umpteen skeins of wool waiting to be made into sweaters, blankets, baby-clothes. There’s the fruit juicer you’re convinced you’ll use one day, the crock-pot that sits empty, the canning bottles that never seem to preserve anything other than a heart-felt desire to make your own jam just like Gramma used to make.
If you have stuff that you bought with great intentions that aren’t serving a useful purpose, perhaps it’s time to shake loose of the dream and get uncluttered. That may be the only way to make space for your new dreams. For as long as you’re holding on to the old ones, you’re stopping yourself from dreaming new dreams. And dreaming is the very beginning of setting goals and making the life you want.
Start by deciding what really matters to you. What do you actually want from your life? And are the things cluttering up your visual landscape (even if they’re buried in boxes, buried in the basement, buried in the garage) moving you toward your dreams or reminding you of what you haven’t yet accomplished. If it’s the latter, they are not feeding your energy in a positive way and it’s time to let them go to someone for whom they WILL be an inspiration.
Some of the stuff we hold on to helps us to dream. People routinely save catalogues and magazines because by flipping through them they can re-enter a world that they have no other way of getting to. It’s a little like buying a lottery ticket, shopping in your imagination for a week on your winnings, and then buying another ticket next week and doing it all again. It’s good fun. But it can become crippling if you become one of those people who actually begins to believe you will win. You defer doing whatever it takes to make a real life because you’re so satisfied by your dream life.
I have a friend that has every catalogue under the sun. She won’t throw them out because there might be something in those dream books that she may need (really, need? Or want?) I’ve tried to convince her that if there is something she really NEEDS, she’ll seek it out and find it. But she can’t let go.
Parents often fall into this trap with their kids’ stuff. Old toys, books, music and movies, clothes, furniture, everything… is saved because they have so many memories (the flipside of a dream) attached, to get rid of them would mean getting rid of the memory… and we just can’t do THAT!
It’s not unusual as we grow up to find that our dreams change. Sometimes, we don’t realize how much WE have changed, and hold on to an old dream that may no longer be realistic. Whatever your reason for holding on to STUFF that’s crowding your life, figuring out how to let go will be the first step in moving from where you are currently stuck to where you actually want to be. How much more could you be accomplishing if you weren’t constantly being reminded of what you have failed to do?
Here’s a great question to ask yourself when trying to decide if something you’re holding on to is really as important to you as you think it is:
“If this object were stolen, would I replace it?”
If the answer is “no”, that’ll give you something to think about.
Years ago I came up with the idea of A Memories Box. This is a box into which I throw the things that have a special place in my heart, that don’t really belong on display: I have an ornament from childhood, gobs of pictures, invitations to parties, ticket stubs from shows, dried flowers, my last pair of ballet shoes, two or three of my children’s outfits. From time to time I go through my Memories Box and toss stuff that doesn’t have the same appeal as when they went into the box. I went to see that show… hmmm…I don’t even remember that… time for it to go! Some things stay in the box forever. Every time I take those ballet toe-shoes out and slip them on, I remember why I quit ballet! My toes hurt! So I let go of that dream (yes, I wanted to be a ballerina) and moved on. But I put the dream away, I didn’t leave the shoes hanging on my wall as a constant reminder of what I didn’t accomplish. Instead, they are a gentle reminder of why I dreamt new dreams, set new goals and walked another path.
